Just a Fool

“Are we serious right now?” I said from the other side of the door. I rolled my eyes as I pounded on the brown mass of wood. “How old are you?” I jiggled the door knob with my left hand as my right continued to pound on the door. “Open the door, Mathew.” I said sternly as I sat back on my heels and decided to cross my arms over my chest as I waited patiently.

I had just walked through the front door, with a bunch of presents in my arms from doing a shoot with Victoria’s Secret, when Brian told me Matt was still in his room. I groaned and set down my bags, not even caring about the fact that my heels were fucking up my new wood flooring that was installed a few days ago. I understand he feels like an asshole right now, but I can’t have him sit in his room all day moping because he fucked up. If anything it was her fault—but of course, being the person he is, he thinks that he fucked up.

“Go away Evie.” He said. I muttered curse words as I ignored the stab through my heart. I pouted as I put my forehead against the door.

“Really, Mattie, are you going to treat your best friend that way?” I heard a mumble from the other side of the door. “C’mon, buddy—open up the door so that we can talk.” I continued to frown as I stared at his door, wanting to go in and wrap him in my arms to take all the hurt away. God, did I hate her. She always made him feel worthless—but he was clearly worth so much more. “Mattie,” I whispered painfully, “Why are you ignoring me?”

I finally heard him grunt with disapproval and his feet thudding across the floor. I grinned as I heard him unlock the door and it opened. “Evie, I’m not ignoring you.”

Pouting, he stepped back to let me in. “Yes you were.” He frowned as he shut the door behind me and I went for his bed and sat down. I watched as he ran his hands down his face before he started pacing the room.

“I wasn’t trying to ignore you, Evie.” He muttered as he stood in front of me. I patted the seat next to me and he sat down. “I just wanted time to myself.”

I rolled my eyes, “What’s so important that you need six hours to think about in your room by yourself?”

He groaned and fell back onto his bed: “Brandi,” He muttered. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Really, Matt?” I muttered as I stood up. “Did we not speak about this already? Why are you feeling guilty?”

He sat up then and glared at me, “See, this is why I didn’t want to talk to you!” I ‘ha-ha’ed and pointed at him.

“See!” I shouted, “You were ignoring me!”

He stood up and walked towards me, “I was not, Evelyn.” He said, “You just always bring Bree down.”

I sighed and crossed my arms again. He does have a point, but I can’t help but feel like I was still right—she treated him like shit. Matt is the world to me, and I just can’t grasp why she can’t see his worthiness. I mean, jesus, he’s amazing. You don’t get many twenty-six year old men who want to settle down and find the right girl to share a life with. Not to mention that he would treat you like you’re the only person in the world.

Wishing that it was me he was moping over and not that cow, I sighed again and massaged my temples. “I know, and I’m sorry.” I muttered. I looked up into his beautiful hazel eyes and smiled sheepishly. “I just, you know how much I care about you Mattie…I mean, you’ve always been there for me; I’m just simply returning the favor.” He frowned down at me.

“Evie, there’s no favor to return.” He muttered. I rolled my eyes but smile nonetheless. I opened my arms and he smiled and walked into them without a second thought.

Sighing with content as he wrapped me into his arms, I breathed in his scent—the scent of home. Before I could let my emotions get carried away, I pulled back and grinned up at him. “I’ll try to be a little more understanding, okay?” I said, “But you know how much I hate seeing you like this—so why don’t we go downstairs with our friends and have a few drinks, sing some songs even?” He frowned.

“I don’t know, Evie…” He said sadly. I frowned deeply. God, what has this woman done with my best friend?

“Mattie,” I whispered sadly, “Couples fight all the time—everything will be better in the morning.” He sulked. “There’s no need to mope around all day—you’re just wasting precious time.”

He sighed and shrugged. “I guess you’re right.” I smiled and went to walk away, but before I could open the door his hand made contact with mine and pulled me back into his chest. I grinned and hugged him back. “I love you, Evie, you know that right?” I rolled my eyes and laughed as I stepped out of his arms.

“I know buddy.” I said as I kissed his cheek. I pulled away and he had a dopey smile on his face. “Come on, I’ve come bearing presents.”

__

I was laughing hysterically as Jimmy took down Amber. She was wiggling underneath him as he held her down. His face was very serious as she tried to escape. “This is so unfair, Jimmy!” She cried out as she realized it was a futile escape—she obviously wasn’t getting free anytime soon. “You’re, like, ten times the size of me!” She whined. Everyone was laughing their ass off.

“No one can beat Master Sullivan.” He said with a Chinese accent. I almost spit out my JD that I was currently downing.

“Seriously, Jimmy—I’m like, an ant compared to you!” She glared up at him as he just stared down at her. But finally, a smile broke loose and he started to laugh his hysterical laugh. Even though there was this match to prove who was clearly tougher Sarah, Amber and Jimmy started a quarrel about who could really win an even fight. I couldn’t help let a grin slip onto my lips as I watched my family laughing and joking.

Just then the doorbell rang. I didn’t think anything of it because I was in such a good mood. I got up off the chair I was currently occupying outside and decided to answer it. The doorbell kept ringing, which was really annoying, but I made my way as fast as I could without spilling my solo cup. “Coming!” I shouted.

When I reached the door and pulled it open, I grinned and was about to say ‘Can I help you?’ but I was greeted with caramel coloured eyes and a terrible black dye job. But then I remembered my promise to Matt and sighed. “Hey, Brandi.”

She rolled her eyes and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “I want Matt.” She said without even saying hi. I gritted my jaw and kept my temper at bay. Instead, I decided to try and help.

“Matt feels terrible about what happened Brandi.” I said for him, “But please, he’s my best friend and I hate seeing him hurt this much.” Her eyes stopped scanning the room for my best friend and landed on me. She rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue.

“What the fuck do you think I’m here for?” She said, “Can you get the fuck out of my way, now?” She said as she zoned in on something behind me. It had to be Mattie with the way she smiled. “Mattie!” She said as she barged past me, hitting my shoulder in the process. I ended up spilling my JD all over my mat on the floor that had horses and the words, “Welcome” on it.

Okay. I was a little pissed off.

“Fucking bitch.” I said, loud enough for her to hear. Matt zoned in on me and glared at me, fuck what I said! She totally ignored the fact that I was trying to be nice.

She spun around to glare at me. “Excuse me?” She said. I rolled my eyes and bent down so that I could pick the mat up. I set my cup on the key table and opened the door to put it outside. I wished that it was her that I was putting outside, rather than the mat.

I turned around and slammed the door shut. “Evelyn…” Matt warned. I walked up to him and ignored his look of disapproval.

“I think that you should talk to your bitch about disrespect. I tried being nice to her, but sadly she makes it very hard.” I walked away with that said and decided to join the crew outside to forget about everything.

“Ignore her baby—she’s just jealous.” I laughed loudly.

“Of what?” I spat out, “Of the fact that you fuck other men behind my best friends back? Of the fact that you’re a walking STD? Of course I am!” Please not the sarcasm.

“Evelyen!” Matt said, “I thought we talked about this?” I turned around to start walking away.

“Tell her the next time I answer the door and she wants to tell me to get the fuck out of her way before even saying hi, she best be looking for a fucking nose job.” I laughed and turned towards them again. “Oh, wait—she already did!”

Fake bitch.

Instead of going back outside, I decided that maybe I just wanted to cruise around for a little bit. "Fuck this, I'm out." I muttered before turning back around to walk towards the door. I felt someone grab my hair, though, and it jerked me back. "What the hell?" I snarled as I turned around.

Brandi stood there smirking. Matt looked at his girlfriend with shock. "Brandi, do not do that again."

"You're not going to defend me, Matthew!" Brandi shot back, "She just called me a slut!" Matt groaned, looked at me and I knew who's side he was on immeditaly.

"Fuck you both," I snarled before turning around to go outside. I slammed the door shut behind me, walked to my car and began to blast my music. I forgot before I pulled up that Alanis Morissette was playing.

As stupid as it may seem, I don't understand why I had ever fallen so deeply in love with Matt. He's the opposite of my taste. He's got the bad boy image, he's big and brawny. He's dark, but light. He has a heart of gold, and the personality of a winner. I realized that at eighteen I was in love with my best friend. He had intrigued me so much.

I think, though, it has to do with wanting someone you can't have. We all want someone, or something, we don't need. Not to mention the competition; I know we all want it. And he's the prize I want for winning, but I'm losing at a game I really don't feel like playing because it wears you down and break you apart. It’s like some kind of disease has taken over your heart, and you sit back and wait for it to completely devour it.

I couldn't help but sing along with Alanis Morissette's song Head over Feet. God, how those lyrics could fit me so well, but yet they didn't. Because he doesn't love in the way she explains it. But he has won me over, and God I hated it so much.

I pulled out of my driveway, and tried not to pay any attention to how he didn’t even come after me.