Synthetic Love

The time flew and it was June. Ricky and I were still together and Chris didn't know Ryan knew and so did Devin and Ange, but they knew not to tell anyone. I was working and staying with my boyfriend but any day that could change at any moment anything could happen and ruin anything. It was hard, to keep something from Chris but I couldn't hurt him. Everyone was out at the Ghost insides set and Ricky and I stayed back to have an hour alone. "What do you want to do?" I asked looking at Rick. He sat on the couch next to me. He smirked and kissed me. I was brought to my knees then pushed down and Ricky got on top of me. We were into the moment when the door opened up, "I'll catch up" someone who sounded like Chris said as Chris himself walked in. Ricky jumped off me, "Chris I can explain" I yelled. "Explain what? Explain how you and Ricky were sucking teeth?" "No, Chris it wasn't that" I yelled. "I'm not mad at you Ricky, your still a close friend, but you I have nothing to say to you" Chris yelled walking out of the bus. "Ricky followed Chris. I called Andy up because of how confused I was but he couldn't talk long because of the time change in Europe and the US. I laid in Ricky's bunk and sat around. I heard everyone come back. "Hey, were going out to eat want to come?" Balz asked me. "No, I don't feel good" I explained. "Feel better" He said. I heard everyone walk out of the bus and I thought it was safe to go get water to drink, but when I got to the living area Chris was sitting at the table. I got a bottle of water and sat on the couch. I saw Chris look at me out of the corner of my eyes. I took a deep breath, "Can we talk?" I asked. "About what you having sex with my friend" Chris said. "I didn't have sex with him....maybe I did" I yelled as he looked at me. "Yeah, after we broke up for what reason even?" "Chris I broke up with you so I wouldn't hurt you because I had sex with Rick while you were away" I said explained that to him. "That's a surprise" he said. "I would never hurt you, and I swear if I could re-do that night I would" I said. "You broke up with me to save me" he said. "Yeas, you mean more to me than anything" I said. We sat in silence. Chris turned to me and kissed me. I took it and kissed back. I took his shirt off looking at his tattoo's on his chest. I stood up and hugged him as he took my shirt off me. I took my shorts off and he took his jeans off and picked me up. I got carried to the bathroom and the shower water turned on. I was shoved up against the wall and Chris was kissing my neck. The water got cooled from being on a bus with very little water so we went to the bunk room and got in Chris's bunk. We heard the door unlock and Chris jumped out of his bunk and but on jeans and went out to the living room wiping on a shirt. I got up and started to get dressed and brushed my wet hair. I walked out and saw everyone sitting around. I went to sleep on the couch because I wasn't sure on who I was with. The next week was all fine except for covering up some bruises. The next week was on and Allie laughed at me everyday.
I went to the booth in jean shirts, and a white shirt and sunglasses with my hair thrown up. I was moaning and holding my stomach and could barley walk. "Are you ok?" Allie asked laughing. "Did you go to hard?" "That's not funny, I'm sick it's bad" I explained. "Give me a minute" I explained going behind the tent. I came back a few seconds later, "Don't go back there" I said. She laughed. "You don't look good can you work?" "Yeah, I'm fine" I said as a girl came up to the stand. "Can I get a number 14 in a small?" I went to grab it, I moaned. Allie grabbed it and took the money. After shit come with me" She said. I got a chair and sat down and was moaning the whole 5 hour shift. Allie walked me to the gas station that was across the street from the venue. "Here" she said handing me a box. It was a test. I bought it and went to the bathroom. I read the directions and followed it and leaned on the floor throwing up again. I waited 5 minutes and looked at the stick and there was 2 line. I ripped out the paper from the box and read that that meant pregnant. I moaned and threw it across the bathroom and walked out. "What did it say?" Allie asked. I ignored it and walked outside. She ran after and grabbed my arm. "I am" I said crying. She pulled me in and hugged me. "It's ok we can just go tell Ricky, I'm sure he'll be happy." "No, I don't know if it's his" I explained as Allie looked at me shocked. "Who else did you fuck with?" she asked. "Chris" I said. "Man, your guy bipolar" she said laughing. "I'm serious...how do I find out?" "Just give it a month and go to the doctor" she explained. "A month, the guy's will know, I'm going to be sick, and not feel well" I said. "I swear you'll be cool" she said as we went back to work at the merch booth. I was sitting around and Balz came over, "It's dark why do you have glasses on?" he asked going to take them off. "No" I yelled hitting his hand. Everyone looked at me. I couldn't take my glasses off because I was so tired, and my eyes were black with bags. I got to get up to go to the bus but I couldn't walk. Ryan cried me since Allie told him and he knew. He was a good actor not to know anything. The weeks went on and Allie told me to come to the booth a few minutes late because I was always sick. I didn't carry boxes but I did a lot of giving and taking and bending. It was July and it was a month later, we were in Scranton PA and it was lucky. Allie and I took the day off and she took me to the doctors. I was pregnant, and they did a test and it was Chris's baby. I was really upset but Ricky and I weren't together for a month now, which was not as regretful. We got back to the tour and the guy's were on the bus eating. I walked in and put my bag on the couch. "Where were you guy's at?" Ricky asked. "We were having a day...I think Des has to talk to Chris" Allie said. I looked up and walked outside Chris followed. "What's up?" he asked. "Look, Your going to be a dad" I said turning around to walk away. "I'm what?" he said. "You'r going to be a dad, I'm pregnant." He looked at me and blinked. "So were in it together I wont let you go down alone" Chris said hugging me. We walked back on the bus. "Meeting" Chris said. "There's been so much shit this tour, but I'm going to be a dad" he said. "Who's the mom?" Ricky asked. "Destery." Ricky looked at me, "Congrats kids" he said. I felt so bad but I knew after time it would pass. The guy's had a set, and Chris announced it to everyone that he was having a baby. I couldn't wait and I think he was so excited about it as well. I felt Ricky, I felt horrible but that's what happened. It was fate, and it all happened on accident. Chris was perfect, and when I broke up with him I knew it wasn't right but I did what was wrong. Ricky was out the whole night. I was up worried about him same with everyone else. No one could get a hold oh him, and everyone was out looking for him. We didn't know about the show the next day and if we would make it. We could only hope. I was sitting and talking to Balz crying over Ricky, when Ryan got a hold of him. He went out side and was talking to him for a few minutes that seemed like forever. Finally he came in the door, "He's hit rock bottom." We all looked at Ryan confused. "He's at the studio, he's done, he's going to kill himself" Ryan yelled. We drove the bus to the studio and looked around for Ricky. Chris found him in the bathroom with a knife. Ghost was with him but came out and got me. I walked int and Chris was staring at the door. "It's all her fault" Ricky screamed when I came in. "No, Rick it's not...don't do his your my best friend without you I'll kill myself" Chris said. "She wanted you the whole time she used me, I had sex with her and gave her everything and she gave me nothing" Ricky yelled. "She loved you and it didn't work out." "Chris, just let me do it...I'm done" he said grabbing the knife and holding it to his wrist. He pushed in and I shoved Chris out of the way. "Ricky No" I screamed hugging him.