Smell of Lilac
you keep my old scarf from that very first week
Aline put her mug to her lips and drew back a swig of hot chocolate, the sweetness of it being the first cup of this winter warmed both her body and her mind. She watched out of the kitchen window as flurries of snow drifted from a heaven above and descended to the earth as if the angles had been stomping around in their homes and the clouds that made up their floors had fallen down as the cold snow. She sighed with a smile and drank in another gulp of cocoa and let the heat course through her veins. She loved winter. She loved its beauty of the snow and the candies and presents exchanged through out the holidays.
Oh, how she loved the winter, a season of snowflake rains and freezing walks beneath the street lamps, and then later a meaningful conversation before a warm fire. Or at least that's what she used to love about winter but this year she didn't want to think about it. They had spent the last two winters together but before a third could come and go, he did.
Her best friend Thalia made her way into the kitchen from the living room where she'd been watching a Christmas movie. The Grinch, Aline thought but wasn't sure. She smiled to herself. Not even the third of December and it was already Christmas time everywhere she looked- snow covered the roads as if it were a fresh coat of paint and decorations were placed on nearly every house, bright lights calling out to old Saint Nicholas that they'd been good this year.
"Are you ready to go? They're waiting for us down at the pottery shop."
"Yeah," Aline said slowly and stared down at the remaining hot chocolate. He would have drank the rest, if he'd been here, for it was his favorite thing about December as well. It was tradition to them, a mug of body warming cocoa to start the snowy day ahead of them. She'd thrown out many of their traditions but this one lingered. "Let me grab my coat and scarf."
She pushed her chair away from the table and went to room to search for the scarf she'd boughten last winter. She searched through her closet, under her bed, and through fistfuls of miscellaneous items in her dresser drawers. She even checked the laundry basket, though she hadn't worn it all year, and even various places throughout her house. It was nowhere to be found. At least, until she remembered that he had it.
It had been the end of November and the ground was already transformed into a wonderland of white. They had gone over to his sister's house that night for a small get together with her and her new fiancé. It had been a splendid evening. They drank champaign and giggled the night away. He had told her then that she was more beautiful that night than she'd ever been before with cheeks flushed red from the chill and the sparkle of laughter in her eyes.
That was when he lead her to the small porch and sat her down on the porch swing. He had confessed to her then how he loved her more than he could fathom and that he felt like the luckiest man alive when he saw her with his family because she looked as though she were already part of it. Then he followed his soon to be brother-in-law's suit, dropped to one knee and proposed to her. She'd said yes and in a whirlwind of excitement they gathered their things and left to go celebrate back at their own apartment, remembering all but her scarf.
From there it had been sixth months of happiness mixed with instances of irritation until one hot July night, he broke off the engagement and they went their separate ways. His sister had called her cell phone two days later to tell her that she had found her misplaced scarf and sent it home with her brother. She hadn't known then that their relationship had ended. She thanked his sister but left it at that. He called her a week later to tell her he had the scarf and he made a loose promise to drop it off her new place but months came and went and the scarf never came back to her.
"Did you find it?" Thalia asked upon Aline's entrance to the kitchen with nothing but her coat. Aline shook her head, blond curls falling down her shoulders.
"Oliver has it."
"Still? That happened over five months ago. I can call him up and get it from him, if you really want it."
Aline pondered this for a moment. It was a scarf after all, a thick one of beautiful soft blues and whites. She had loved it dearly, it had been the last in stock too. But, she thought of it now and where would it be. Would it be crammed away in the closet they once shared? Pushed under their old bed? Did he keep it somewhere he knew he could always look at it, remember, and contemplate what could have gone better like she had done so many times? Or had he simply forgotten, threw it into a sack and moved onto another girl? Either way, Aline wanted him to have it. She knew that whatever the case may be, he would stumble upon it one day in his life and look back with fondness on what they used to be. He'll see if and remember her platinum curls. He's smell it and recall the smell of lilac and her innocence.
One day what they used to be would be just a story they'd tell to the grandchildren they had or a thought on a cold and lonely night and it would bring them comfort to think about it. Time would erase the details, completely wipe away the fight that had lasted into the wee morning light until the reason they had parted was faded and forgotten. All that would be left to remember were cinnamon kisses and the mornings they shared. She knew this to be true.
She knew it all too well.
"No," she said as she bundled her coat, a smile once again on her face. She would move on as well, in time, and she had her own reminders of him that would invoke those warm memories. No, she'd let him keep it if only to bring him the comfort that the memories often brought her. "I want him to have it."
Oh, how she loved the winter, a season of snowflake rains and freezing walks beneath the street lamps, and then later a meaningful conversation before a warm fire. Or at least that's what she used to love about winter but this year she didn't want to think about it. They had spent the last two winters together but before a third could come and go, he did.
Her best friend Thalia made her way into the kitchen from the living room where she'd been watching a Christmas movie. The Grinch, Aline thought but wasn't sure. She smiled to herself. Not even the third of December and it was already Christmas time everywhere she looked- snow covered the roads as if it were a fresh coat of paint and decorations were placed on nearly every house, bright lights calling out to old Saint Nicholas that they'd been good this year.
"Are you ready to go? They're waiting for us down at the pottery shop."
"Yeah," Aline said slowly and stared down at the remaining hot chocolate. He would have drank the rest, if he'd been here, for it was his favorite thing about December as well. It was tradition to them, a mug of body warming cocoa to start the snowy day ahead of them. She'd thrown out many of their traditions but this one lingered. "Let me grab my coat and scarf."
She pushed her chair away from the table and went to room to search for the scarf she'd boughten last winter. She searched through her closet, under her bed, and through fistfuls of miscellaneous items in her dresser drawers. She even checked the laundry basket, though she hadn't worn it all year, and even various places throughout her house. It was nowhere to be found. At least, until she remembered that he had it.
It had been the end of November and the ground was already transformed into a wonderland of white. They had gone over to his sister's house that night for a small get together with her and her new fiancé. It had been a splendid evening. They drank champaign and giggled the night away. He had told her then that she was more beautiful that night than she'd ever been before with cheeks flushed red from the chill and the sparkle of laughter in her eyes.
That was when he lead her to the small porch and sat her down on the porch swing. He had confessed to her then how he loved her more than he could fathom and that he felt like the luckiest man alive when he saw her with his family because she looked as though she were already part of it. Then he followed his soon to be brother-in-law's suit, dropped to one knee and proposed to her. She'd said yes and in a whirlwind of excitement they gathered their things and left to go celebrate back at their own apartment, remembering all but her scarf.
From there it had been sixth months of happiness mixed with instances of irritation until one hot July night, he broke off the engagement and they went their separate ways. His sister had called her cell phone two days later to tell her that she had found her misplaced scarf and sent it home with her brother. She hadn't known then that their relationship had ended. She thanked his sister but left it at that. He called her a week later to tell her he had the scarf and he made a loose promise to drop it off her new place but months came and went and the scarf never came back to her.
"Did you find it?" Thalia asked upon Aline's entrance to the kitchen with nothing but her coat. Aline shook her head, blond curls falling down her shoulders.
"Oliver has it."
"Still? That happened over five months ago. I can call him up and get it from him, if you really want it."
Aline pondered this for a moment. It was a scarf after all, a thick one of beautiful soft blues and whites. She had loved it dearly, it had been the last in stock too. But, she thought of it now and where would it be. Would it be crammed away in the closet they once shared? Pushed under their old bed? Did he keep it somewhere he knew he could always look at it, remember, and contemplate what could have gone better like she had done so many times? Or had he simply forgotten, threw it into a sack and moved onto another girl? Either way, Aline wanted him to have it. She knew that whatever the case may be, he would stumble upon it one day in his life and look back with fondness on what they used to be. He'll see if and remember her platinum curls. He's smell it and recall the smell of lilac and her innocence.
One day what they used to be would be just a story they'd tell to the grandchildren they had or a thought on a cold and lonely night and it would bring them comfort to think about it. Time would erase the details, completely wipe away the fight that had lasted into the wee morning light until the reason they had parted was faded and forgotten. All that would be left to remember were cinnamon kisses and the mornings they shared. She knew this to be true.
She knew it all too well.
"No," she said as she bundled her coat, a smile once again on her face. She would move on as well, in time, and she had her own reminders of him that would invoke those warm memories. No, she'd let him keep it if only to bring him the comfort that the memories often brought her. "I want him to have it."
♠ ♠ ♠
1,908 words.