Unlovable

Her black hair swayed as she walked through the bustling train station, weaving through other weary travelers in order to get to the platform she was headed to — Platform 9 ¾. Her mother had dropped her off earlier, ordering her to study hard and that she hoped she would have a safe trip, and drove off without another word just like clockwork. They both weren’t the best at goodbyes — at least not with each other.

She often thought about what it might feel like to have a father, to have someone else to see you off, to make your worries disappear, and to have someone to make you feel safe. It wasn’t to say that she didn’t feel safe with Wendy, but she had never — and would never — experience that type of fatherly love.

Her blue eyes, which contained freckles of green within them, scrutinized the floor as she continued to walk. I don’t need that type of love. She thought. Love is stupid. It’s nothing but mind games and hormones.

And yet even after that, she knew she still yearned to experience that supposed gratifying feeling...

She grasped the trolley tightly and soon made a mad dash towards the brick column, vanishing through the door to Platform 9 ¾ and appearing before the grand Hogwarts Express that was her form of transportation. After dropping off her luggage, she boarded with ease, evading all other students and trying to find an empty compartment to ride in. With luck, she found one, and plopped down onto the cushioned seating tiredly after closing the door behind her.

She passed the time by watching other students arrive and pile aboard the train, feeling lonesome as she did so when she knew that this year she was completely friendless due to the one and only person she ever considered a “friend” having graduated the previous year. Sighing, she leaned back and stretched her legs out atop the adjacent seating, trying to amuse herself by taking in every detail of her compartment. Soon enough, the train’s whistle began to blow right as the clock struck eleven exactly and she let out a silent sigh of relief.

“At least we’re moving now,” she muttered to herself.

As the scenery zoomed by her window, she began to become drowsy, the clacking of the tracks serving as a sort of muffled lullaby, the seating being a bit too comfortable for one just to sit in. While she dozed off, she dreamt of nothing, her slumber being quiet and deep.

A group of only two wandered aimlessly through the railcars, unable to find a compartment that would fit them — even their usual group seemed to have acquired some new members, leaving them to go and hunt for seating. There was, of course, the prefects’ carriage, though the air was a bit stuffy and unwelcoming in their eyes.

The ginger, who was leading his friend, peered into a compartment and noticed only one soul inside. “Found one,” he sighed in relief, opening the door and parading inside.

“Ronald!” The brunette scolded softly as she noticed the sleeping girl. “We can’t just come barging in like this — it’s rude!”

“She’s asleep anyways. I’d say it’d be downright rude to wake her up just to ask permission.”

She scoffed lightly, shaking her head in disagreement, though sat down next to the sleeping ebony haired girl. “I hope she won’t mind.” She mumbled, not wanting to imagine what would happen if she took it the wrong way.

“It’s only us two, ‘Mione. Besides, we’ll just apologize and head to the prefects’ compartment if she doesn’t want company.”

“I suppose you’re right...”

After that was settled, the two friends began to silently chat. Most of their exchange was centered on Harry and how he had been a bit overbearing on the subject of Malfoy ever since them having seen him looking suspicious in Knockturn Alley. Though in truth, they were also a bit curious about it as well.

“Where do you suppose Harry is anyways?” Ron asked.

“Don’t know, might be with Ginny and them.” The brunette replied. “Then again, we don’t normally sit with them on the train so he might be trying to find his own compartment.”

“Maybe,” Ron acknowledged her with a nod of the head. “It was a bit strange that Malfoy wasn’t performing his prefect duties though, wasn’t it? After all, you know that git just loves to abuse his power.”

“Yeah, though at least the first-years aren’t being picked on.” Hermione shrugged.

The compartment’s door slid open and a round-faced boy along with a ditzy -looking girl entered, both of them sending the two smiles.

“Neville, Luna, it’s good to see you again,” Hermione greeted.

“You, too,” the blonde replied airily, stepping inside and taking a seat beside her, while Neville took a seat beside Ron.

“How was your vacation?” Neville inquired.

“It was fine, just did the usual I suppose.” Ron replied.

“Mine was the same,” Hermione agreed with a small smile. “Where did you both come from?”

“I just left the compartment of the new teacher and I picked up Luna along the way.” Neville answered. “Uh, Slughorn was his name, wasn’t it? He’s a bit... interesting.”

“What makes you say that?” Ron looked at Neville curiously.

“He requested us along with a few others so he could get to know us better. He only chose people who were related to someone well known or had done something he liked, I think.”

“What did you do to get invited?”

“My parents,” Neville curtly replied.

The air was thick with tension almost instantly at the thought of Neville’s parents, though it was cleared just as fast with Luna’s curiosity. “Who is this?” Luna questioned as she hovered above the sleeping girl, picking up a black bang in an attempt to see who it was.

“Luna, don’t—” Hermione began.

Slowly, the girl’s eyes fluttered open and her blue and green freckled eyes were shown to everyone in the compartment. She blinked them a few times, letting them adjust to the lighting, before realizing that she was no longer alone. She stared at them each individually until they landed upon the girl with chestnut hair.

“Hello,” she greeted with a cheery tone of voice.

“Hi,”

“Uh, my name’s Hermione, this is Ron, Neville and Luna. I’m sorry for us having come in on our own, but there wasn’t much seating available. We hope you don’t mind.” She explained. “If you want, we could leave you alone. We would understand.”

“Helling; Variel Helling,” She replied, soon gazing out the window. “I understand the seating situation, so it’s fine. You can stay.”

“Thank you,” Hermione smiled gratefully. “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but what House are you? I don’t believe I’ve seen you around before.”

“Slytherin,”

“O-oh...” Hermione’s voice trailed off and she became somewhat uneasy at the thought. Had she been pretending to sleep the entire time and overheard them talking earlier? Even though they hadn’t said much, if Variel was like most other Slytherins, she’d go about school spreading things about what they had chatted about and making it into some big ordeal. “Well, it’s nice to meet you.”

Variel gave a nod of the head. “We’re not that far away now, are we?” She looked at Hermione for confirmation through the corner of her eye.

“We’re very close,” the blonde, Luna, replied. “I’d say we’ll be there within only ten minutes.”

The ebony haired girl nodded once more to acknowledge the reply and returned her gaze to the window of the train, staring at the darkening scenery with a blank expression. All eyes were on her in confusion. She was by far the most laid-back, or rather calm, Slytherin they’d ever laid eyes on, and that put them all on edge. A Slytherin who didn’t act like a Slytherin?—There could never be such a thing. The idea alone was preposterous!

With a sigh, Variel rose and grabbed her robes, going off to change into them for when they arrived at Hogsmeade Station. When she left, idle chit chat between the friends was made and when she returned, they were in full swing. Her arrival practically went unnoticed, not that she minded any, and she returned to her seat without a word, once again gazing out the window.

Soon enough, the train slowly came to an abrupt halt and students moved like a herd through the railcars to disembark them. Variel waited patiently for them all to leave before she rose from her seat and moved effortlessly through the halls. At the end of the hall, the door slid open and was slammed closed by Draco Malfoy, a smug look upon his face as he left the train himself.

What made him so happy?

Allowing her curiosity to get the best of her, Variel walked into the carriage that he had just left and noticed nothing out of the ordinary. She walked further into the car and tripped over something that was invisible to the eye, landing upon her knees and the palms of her hands.

“What the hell?” She glared disdainfully at the ground which had made her trip and her hand went to the area. Her hand grazed fabric instead of going straight to the floor and she took hold of the sheet, pulling it off of what lay on the floor. “Potter?”

There beneath her was the Chosen One, Harry Potter, with a bloody nose, pale skin, and arms at his sides. So this is why Malfoy’s all chuffed. She concluded, standing up and brushing herself off, Harry’s green eyes on her.

Noticing her robes and the Slytherin crest upon the girl’s clothes, Harry half expected her to just laugh in his face and be on her merry way just as Malfoy had done prior. When she pulled out her wand, he grew furious, was she going to inflict an injury upon him like Malfoy?

“Finite Incantatem,”

Suddenly he was able to move again as those words left her lips. He sat up slowly and cradled his nose, attempting to stop the bleeding. Variel rolled her eyes and knelt down.

“Move your hands,” she ordered.

“What?” He snapped.

“Move your hands,”

“Why?”

Becoming annoyed by his incessant and unnecessary questions, Variel grabbed his wrists and held them down. “Episkey,” she muttered, standing up after speaking the small healing spell and placing her wand back into her robes.

Harry’s nose emitted a small bit of warmth before it reverted back to spilling out a chill. His hand went up and gently grazed it. It seemed to be healed, still sore, but healed nonetheless.

The train lurched and they knew that the Express was starting to head back to London. Variel wasted no time in heading towards the exits, though Harry voiced questions.

“Why’d you help me?”

She looked at him from over her shoulder and turned to face him. “Does someone need a reason to help?”

“Why?” He persisted.

“I’m not dealing with this right now. I’m jumping off, stay on the train if you’d like to go back to London.” Variel rolled her eyes and left the carriage and Harry behind, walking to the exit and jumping off the moving railcar to land upon the platform. Harry stumbled out right behind her seconds later.

Walking out to where the carriages usually were, she found all were gone and groaned aloud to herself. “If I had known being nice would turn out like this I never would have done it.” Variel murmured, bringing out her wand and using Lumos to help light her way.

Harry walked after her, though kept his distance. He decided to not push asking her why she had helped him, after all, if she hadn’t, he would still be on the Hogwarts Express heading back to London. However, even though she did help him, she was still a Slytherin, someone that he couldn’t trust completely or at all for that matter.

It was silent as they trekked their way through the woods and scaled the few hills to the campus grounds. The air wasn’t thick with tension — at least not to Variel since she was used to this sort of awkward silence with other people, though for Harry, it was becoming unbearable. He wanted to continue his earlier interrogation and find out what her motives were. Was she a Death Eater like Malfoy?—Were they working together as Voldemort’s inside underlings? All the questions that began to swirl around in his head was starting to drive him insane...

Maybe he could ease his way into asking her somehow? Though what would he say to start off the conversation? Then he knew how, though it wasn’t what he’d want to say to a Slytherin, but he had to admit, she had helped him out when he was in a tight spot.

“Uh... thank you, for back there.” Harry awkwardly spoke.

Hearing conversation begin, Variel turned towards Harry and looked at him for a few seconds, nodding her head when it registered in her mind that he was showing his appreciation for her act of kindness. “You’re welcome.” She curtly replied, resuming her walk as soon as those words were uttered.

Harry, who had been hoping that he would be able to build off of her answer, was shot down and slightly irritated. Why couldn’t she have said more?

He wasn’t going to give up, though. “How did you end up back there?—If you don’t mind me asking...” He quickly added, not wanting to come off as intimidating.

“When I was getting off the train I saw Malfoy looking a bit too smug. I went in to check it out and here we are.” She answered, fully knowing that Harry was trying to satisfy his curiosity.

“Malfoy?” He inquired. “You don’t call him by Draco?”

“I don’t know him well enough to be on a first name basis,”

“But you’re in the same house,”

“Doesn’t mean I’m friends with him,”

“Well, why not?”

“He can get a bit too arrogant for my tastes,” she responded with a sigh. His interrogation was becoming tiresome to her. Soon the pillars were visible and Variel gave a small smile. “We’re almost there.”

Harry looked up and noticed she was right, they were indeed close to the castle and would be there shortly. He thought about resuming his questioning, though decided against it. He didn’t know why, but he had the feeling that she wasn’t connected to Malfoy or Death Eaters in the least. Maybe it was because she seemed like she was genuinely bored of him and his Q and A session...

As they reached the gates, Harry walked in front of Variel and tried to open them, only to find that they were locked. Taking out his wand, Harry pointed it and muttered the charm, “Alohomora.” Nothing happened and Harry repeated the charm once again to provide the same fruitless results.

“I don’t think that’s going to work. Someone probably bewitched the lock themselves.” Variel stated.

“Then we’ll just have to climb over.”

“I doubt that they would allow someone to simply climb over if they took enough measures to make sure the lock was decent enough.”

Harry glared at Variel. “Well then, I guess we’re sleeping out here till someone comes then, aren’t we?”

Variel looked up and shook her head. “No, we aren’t; someone’s coming.” Both of them could see a lamp in the distance and realized who it was when he came closer to them.

“Hello, Professor Snape,” Variel greeted. “How did you know we were out here?”

“I took notice that one of my own was missing from the Slytherin table and thought it wise to see if you were left behind. I assume Potter here is the reason for your tardiness, Miss Helling?” As Variel went to respond, he continued on before she could utter even a syllable. “That’ll be fifty points from Gryffindor, Potter, and another twenty for your Muggle attire.”

Snape led the two students up towards the castle, all the while scolding Harry for causing one of his pupils become late to the feast. Severus did his best to add salt to the wound by saying Potter only wanted to create a stunt in order to have all eyes upon him. As they walked into the castle, Variel pulled Harry back a few steps before Snape could notice.

“Tergeo,” she muttered softly, causing the dried blood upon his face to disappear in a matter of seconds.

“What did you do?” Harry whispered suspiciously.

“Got rid of the blood on your face so that people won’t stare...” she answered, “as much.”

Snape then guided Variel into the Great Hall and towards the Slytherin table where she sat down unnoticed and began to go about her normal routine, while Harry earned a few good glances of curiosity as he sat down beside his friends.

As Variel bit into her food, she couldn’t have cared less if she saw The Boy Who Lived again in her life.