Draco Malfoy's Dirty Little Secret

Kissing Draco was one thing but having sex with him might have been a bit far. I was so scared. I was actually hoping that we wouldn’t go through with it, which is what happened. I don’t know what happened to Draco, but all of a sudden, he just stopped kissing me. He wouldn’t tell me what was going on. He looked upset as he asked me to leave. I didn’t want to, but I did as he asked.

“Hey,” I smiled at Kam as I made my way over to the Gryffindor table for dinner.

She lost her smile when she looked at me. “Where have you been? Off with Draco perhaps?”

I sighed. “Well, we had to stay after History of Magic because of Professor Binns. We’re in trouble again, which means that we have an extra assignment due after the holiday. It’s totally not fair, and all Draco’s fault. If he would just meet with me, it wouldn’t be such a hassle. I wish…I wish…that I had a different partner.”

“Do you really?”

I looked down at the table. No, I didn’t really wish it because then Draco and I would’ve never kissed, but at the same time, it’s seemed to ruin what we did have. So, I didn’t know what I really wished. I know that I wished that I knew what was going on with Draco. How could he just go on from snogging me to not even wanting to touch me? Was there something going on at home? I mean, when we were little his parents fought a lot. I remember the yelling coming from down the hall when I was playing with Draco in his room. It was not a pretty sight to see Draco so upset about it. That was what he kind of looking like when he pulled away. Or perhaps he was scared too. Is he a virgin as well? No, he can’t be if he asked – and laughed at – the fact that I was a virgin.

“Well, I have good news,” Kam said, bringing me from my thoughs, which I was grateful for. “Blaise asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him on the first. Is that great?” She really did look happy.

I smiled. “That’s great! He seems like a really nice guy.”

“He really is. Hey, maybe Draco will ask you,” she shrugged.

I shook my head. “Probably not.”

“You never know.”

“Hey, what are we talking about?” Ron asked, sitting down beside Kam.

“Hey,” Kam looked roughly at him. “Where’s your whore – I mean, girlfriend?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. Does it matter?”

“Yes, it does, Ron,” I couldn’t believe how stupid he was being. “She’s your girlfriend. She’s been your girlfriend for close to a month now. You should know where she is or at the very least thinking of her.”

“How can I think of someone who is so annoying? She’s constantly jabbering on about how she loves me, and she says creepy things about Kam and Hermione. I have no idea why,” I rolled my eyes as he leaned in, “and get this: she wants to snog all the time. My lips just can’t take it anymore. They’re about to fall off. I just know it.”

I smirked. “Serves you right for dating a psycho path. I tried to warn you when I was roomed with her.”

“How’s that going?” Kam asked, changing the subject. “Is she still being all creepy and not letting you sleep? If I were you, I would’ve decked her a good one already, and not just for the obvious reasons,” she winked at me.

I laughed. “It’s going nicely actually because I’ve been sneaking down to the common room to sleep on the couch. I just get up about a half hour early. I haven’t been caught yet.”

“Nice,” Ron smirked. “So, ah, Court, are you going to Hogsmeade with anyone?”

I sighed. Here we go again. He was still drawing out the who I-was-the-one-who-was-jealous thing. I tried explaining, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He just wanted to believe that I wanted him so much. Well, dream on Ronald. I’m definitely not the one for you.

“Not yet.”

“Well, you could go with me…”

I shook my head. “No, Ronald, and especially while you’re with Lavender.”

“So,” Ron looked over at Kam, “Do you have a date to Hogsmeade?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do,” she smirked.

“Who?”

“Blaise Zambini,” she looked as if she was liking that he was asking her questions about her date, which should have her stoked. He seemed a little jealous.

His mouth gaped open. “You can’t go with him. He’s in Slytherin, and I’m pretty sure that he’s a deatheater.”

“I don’t think that he would be a deatheater. He’s way too nice, so just leave your suspicions out of it, okay?” Kam looked away like she was angry with him, but she smiled at me.

“But,” he wouldn’t let it drop, “I happen to know for a fact that Draco is a deatheater,” this definitely caught my attention. “Harry, Hermione, and I saw him in Borgin and Burks-“

“Isn’t that in Knockturn Ally?” Kam asked.

He nodded. “Exactly! He was in company with Fenrir Greyback, the deatheater. He’s also a werewolf. Draco was looking at this rather old cabinet. We have no idea why though. It’s definitely something that should be worried about.”

“You can’t be sure that he’s a deatheater just because he was in the company of one, and he was just looking at a cabinet. Is it a crime to look at furniture now?” Ron opened his mouth to say something, but I just kept barreling on. “Is it now illegal to go to Knockturn Ally? Yes, it may be a shady place, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the only place where deatheaters shop. Really, deatheaters probably shop more in Diagon Alley, where everyone believes their safe. So, tell me now that he’s a deatheater. Go on because I don’t see that you have any proof.”

“Um,” he swallowed hard. “I’m sorry?”

“You’re damn right you’re sorry,” I narrowed my eyes at him, “or something drastic would’ve happened.” I then busted out laughing when he just kept staring at me. “I was totally joking, Ron. Don’t be so serious. I thought you were the fun one.”

“What? I am!” he protested, but I was finished.

I stood. “I’m not hungry. I’m just going to go take a nap until bedtime,” I smirked and left the Great Hall and headed for the Gryffindor Tower.

I slept pretty well in my bed instead of on the couch, which was why I didn’t want to leave when it was time for lights out. I got up anyway and headed towards the astronomy tower. I hadn’t been back since I watched the sunrise with Draco. I just wanted a quite place to think, and I didn’t want to lie on that couch. I don’t know how long I was up there, but after a little while of star-watching, I heard footsteps.

I smiled. “Draco?”

“Look,” he said, rubbing at his eye, “I just wanted to apologize for what happened earlier. I was being a prick pushing like that. I stopped because I didn’t want you to be nervous. I knew that you were which made me feel guilty. I’m really sorry, Court. We should’ve just talked just like you said.”

I shrugged. “It’s okay. I’m just glad that you pulled through like I thought you would. The real you wouldn’t have sex with me just because he wanted to. You would have to be in love with me if you really wanted to.”

He nodded. “Yeah, well, I think I’m going to go. I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one night.”

“Wait,” I called, and he turned back. “Are you a virgin?”

I don’t know why I asked. I was rather curious about it was all.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” he did look rather surprised.

I nodded. “You asked me. Why can’t I ask you?”

“You never really answered me though,” he pressed on.

“Yeah, but you guessed the right answer, so I didn’t correct you. Now, are you or are you not? It’s a simple question that just needs a simple answer.”

He sighed. “I’ve always wondered what it was like, but I could never allow myself to go through with it. I wasn’t in love enough to ever truly want to do it. I really wanted to today, and I thought I was going to, but I couldn’t do it. This time, I wasn’t thinking about myself. I was thinking about how you felt the entire time.”

“You were?” My heart skipped a beat.

He nodded. “It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done.”

“Hey,” I called as he turned to leave again, “when should we get together and work on our paper?”

“How about tomorrow after dinner. I’ll meet you in the library.”

I nodded. “I’ll see you then.”

I looked up at the stars and remembered how they twinkled for me when Draco sat with me all night. It was terribly romantic, still could be. A shooting star then flashed across the sky. I closed my eyes and made a wish.