Draco Malfoy's Dirty Little Secret

Draco’s POV

I was so grateful when I made it back to Hogwarts. Astoria assured me that she would do everything in her power to move the wedding date much, much later. The Dark Lord wants us to be married as soon as possible, before my mission went through that is. I just want to vomit every time I heard the word ‘marriage’ and ‘April’. Yes, that’s right. The wedding was scheduled in April, which was just a short three months away. The only thought that came to my mind every time someone mentioned the wedding, besides the vomiting, was how and when I was going to tell Courtney. It would break her poor little heart to pieces. I just knew it.

“Draco,” Snape scolded me for the fifth time that night. “I know that you have taken this on quickly, and I admire you for that, but there is still so much I have to teach you. You must concentrate. We’re almost through with Occlumacy, and then you can go back to your girlfriend for whatever time you guys have left,” he then smirked. “A short three months, could be less.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Let’s just get this session over with.”

I sighed and closed my eyes. Sweat was pouring from every pour of my body. We had been there for almost two hours, and I had blocked him every time but that one. I was distracted thinking about…well, things. I readied myself as he took in a few deep breaths before murmuring the spell that he could use to get into my head. I felt a little tickle of sorts before I just mentally slapped it away. Snape produced a small smile on his face.

“You have succeeded where others have failed,” he told me. “Come back next Saturday and tell me the goings on of the week. I’m sure that he would want to keep a close eye on you know that he knows how slow your progress is coming along. You are dismissed.”

I didn’t leave thought. There were questions swarming around my head that needed the answers that he could provide. He didn’t seem surprised as he sat at the chair behind his desk. I took the seat in front of his desk.

“Severus,” I sighed. “Is there a way to stop my marriage to Astoria?”

He shook his head. “The only think to stop this marriage was if you were to defeat the Dark Lord or as a reward for your good behavior, but I doubt that you will accomplish either. He’s already disappointed in you, but I am not.”

I stopped. “You’re not?”

He nodded with a smirk. “I am proud of you, Draco.”

I stared at him in wonder. No one had ever said those words to me before. My mother has told me that I’ve done a great job or that I’m improving tremendously, but no one has ever told me that they were proud of me. It was a feeling that I had never felt before. I couldn’t help but smile as I continued to be awestruck. Never would I have guessed that anyone, let alone Snape, would be proud of me.

“Thank you,” I said and meaning it.

He nodded. “You should go now, Draco. I’ll see you next weekend.”

“She would be proud of you too if you explained,” Snape’s voice drifted out with me.

He was right. I needed to explain everything to Courtney. It was no longer fair that she had to hurt in the dark like that. It wasn’t right what I was doing to her. Hell, my whole life was all about doing the wrong thing. I just wish I could turn back time and change everything that I’ve done and not followed my father’s orders. My life would’ve been hard, but at least I could’ve hide pride and dignity.

Courtney. The thought made my heart hurt as well as remind me that we didn’t do our project for History of Magic. Binns was going to kill us if we didn’t have anything to present to the class the next day. So, instead of heading to my dorm or the third floor, I headed for the library.

“Draco?” I heard someone ask when I sat down with a book at a round table. I know I looked like crap and I was in the library, but couldn’t a man read in peace? “Draco!”

I turned around and saw the mudblood Hermione Granger sitting at the table behind me. Of course she would be in the library, but why would she be talking to me? She hated me, or at least that’s the way it seemed. It also might be the way she acted around Potthead and Weasel. God did I hate those two.

“What do you want?” I asked rudely. I really didn’t want to talk to her.

“What business do you have in the library after hours?” was her question, which I knew it was coming. “I mean, you’re never in here unless you absolutely have to be. It just doesn’t make any sense, you know.”

I nodded in agreement. “This is one of those times that I absolutely have to be or my grade will plummet in History of Magic.”

She nodded. “Did have time to do it over the holidays?”

I shook my head. “No, but it was nice talking to you.”

I then turned my back on her. A thought then popped into my head. I was having such a time trying to fix that God damn awful cabinet, and the brightest girl in Hogwarts was right there. It was a plus that she was being so nice to me. It was also a plus that I had the instruction manual in my jacket pocket because it had been my plan to work on the ruddy thing after my meeting with Snape. The only problem was that I couldn’t tell her the real reason behind my intentions. What was I going to do?

I turned back to her with a deep breath. “Erm…Hermione?”

She looked up at me with an odd expression. “What is it, Draco?”

“I was wondering if you perhaps understood the mechanics of a vanishing cabinet…?” It was a statement, but I had formed it into a question. Reasons for why I had asked it were still bumping inside of my head.

She nodded. “Yes, but why would you need to know about vanishing cabinets? I don’t think that History of Magic ever covers over vanishing cabinets unless, you know, your project was the history of vanishing cabinets.”

I nodded. “Yes, that’s it. My partner and I had to do an extra project because we didn’t turn in our paper on time. Do you think that’s an alright topic?”

“It’s definitely a valid one.”

I pulled out the instruction manual and showed her the part where I was confused on, the part where it wasn’t vanishing anything. “Right here. We’re also covering how to fix problems if you ever encounter them when in use. I just don’t understand how to actually fix it.”

She looked at the part for a while. “Oh, well, that’s pretty easy, Draco,” she said, but took her quill and wrote something down beside the instructions.

When she handed the book back, I looked and saw that she had simplified the instructions. I understood them perfectly now. I really owed her one, but I don’t think that I could without her catching on. I just had to be grateful for the moment.

“Thanks,” I said and took the book I was looking at with me out of the library. I would return it the next day whenever I was finished with it. I just had to look like I was finished to Hermione. I really spent the rest of the night in my dorm working on that bloody presentation.

That night I had one of the worst nightmares that I had ever thought up. I was running down a corridor looking everywhere, but I didn’t know for what. When I came to the end, I didn’t know which way to turn. The door to my left was wide and made of oak. The door to the left was narrow and painted red. I decided to go with the less menacing one. The door opened slowly for me to reveal a rather large group of people who cheered for me. I gulped and headed down the aisle in the middle. In the front, a preacher stood with a broad smile on his face.

I am so glad with this arrangement. The guy said without moving his lips. I looked at him oddly, which seemed to ask my question for me. The match that you are in today. I wouldn’t be marrying you unless I was happy with the arrangement. I nodded and looked out at the crowd, every person seemed to be clapping for what the preacher just said. The door opened again and a bride was walking down the aisle towards me.

I love you, Draco. I always have and always will. I smiled at the sound of my love’s voice coming from behind that veil. I then removed the veil to see Courtney smiling back at me. Then all of a sudden, she started to decompose right before my eyes. Our love is dying, Draco. Why did you have to keep those secrets from me? Can’t you see its killing us?

I didn’t know what to do. I pulled Courtney close to me and kissed her mouth, which tasted of dirt. Tears streaked my eyes when I pulled away and looked into the most beautiful eyes I had ever looked into. That’s when the door opened once more. A man in a suit and a mask on ran down to us. He took Courtney out of my weak and tired arms. Instantly, the life returned to her face. She looked at me and said something without moving her lips once more. Maybe you and I aren’t meant to be together because of your secret and lies. A once perfect relationship has died and all because of your choices. You do know it is our choices that proves who we are, right? You proved that you are nothing but a coward, Draco Malfoy. How could a girl ever love someone like that?

I watched as the masked man took her out of the room. The people disappeared, and I was left to sob alone on the floor. I was alone, and it was all my fault. I had lost the love of my life, and it was all my fault.

I awoke in a sweat. Hot tears pricked at my eyes as I thought of the dream. Well, it was the worst dream I had ever had. I just hoped that it wasn’t right. I just hoped that I will be in time so that our love won’t die.