Maybe I Wasn't Enough

"Bella, someone wants to talk to you." Sam said, poking his head through my door.
I sighed inwardly, and crawled out of the bundle of blankets on top of me.
I walked through the door, and Sam walked back into his room across the hall.

Tony was standing at the bottom of the wooden staircase. His beautiful brown eyes staring into mine. And in that moment, I swear I could have gotten lost in them.

I breathed out, and pushed a strand of my dark hair behind my ear.
"Do you mind coming upstairs? It's really cold..." I asked, trailing off.

I found myself avoiding his gaze whenever I asked a question. I was scared of rejection. I couldn't bare being turned down by someone I loved again.

"Of coarse." He said, skipping up the stairs, and following me to my bedroom.

I was still in a pair of Andy's pajama bottoms, a fitting black tank top, and Tony's hoodie.

I folded my legs, and pulled the blankets around my shoulders. Tony laid down on the opposite side of the bed.

"You're not here to badger me about what I did, are you?" I asked.
He chuckled, halfheartedly. "No, of coarse not. I've just come to see how you're doing, that's all."

I felt pity for him. He took time out of his day, to see me. I was still curious to why people would want to make sure I was okay.

"Is it cold to you, or is it just me?" I asked, craving conversation.

He chuckled, and motioned for me to lay next to him.

I obeyed, and laid my head on his chest, snuggling into him.

"Can I ask you something?" I whispered, looking into his eyes, once again.

"Of coarse, anything." He smiled, and kissed my forehead.

"Why'd you do it? Why did you come looking for me, before anyone else?" I avoided his gaze again. I looked at the hard wood floor, like it had been a new episode of Star Wars.

He sighed, and began stroking my hair. "Because, I love you." He answered.

"You don't love me like I love you though, do you?" I said, looking to the floor, once again.

He knew exactly how I felt about him, even though I had never had the courage to say it directly.

"I do..." He confessed. "But Mike's my friend. Do you think it's easy to just...betray him?"

"I'm sorry." I said immediately. "I didn't mean it like that, I promise." I pulled away from him, and turned my face so he couldn't see the new stream of tears upon my cheeks.

"Hey..." He whispered, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

I turned to face him. "Are you sure you're not disgusted with me?" I asked.

He looked into my eyes, disapprovingly. "How could I ever be disgusted with you? You're so beautiful." He pulled me towards him, and I laid my my head back on his chest.

"I should probably take a shower." I said, sniffling. "It been two days, and I haven't done anything." I stated, a little embarrassed.

"Mkay. I'll be here." He said, smiling.

I sighed, and climbed out of the blankets. "Oh. Here's you're hoodie back." I said, taking it off and throwing it on the bed.

He chuckled. "Keep it." He said, a sweet smile plastered across his face.

I sighed, and walked to the bathroom. I turned on the shower, and stripped myself of clothes. I scanned over the fresh cuts, as the hot water beads rolled down my back, relaxing it.
Once I had concluded an estimate of how long they would take to heal, I glanced at my shoulders. The pale scars illuminated against my tan skin. I sighed again, realizing the affect my mental problems had cause my physical appearance.

I quickly washed my hair, and body. I let the water beads run down my back for a while, before getting out, and wrapping a towel around my body.

"Fuck..." I mumbled. I hadn't thought about bringing clothes with me. I sighed, and quietly walked into Sam's room.

He chuckled when he saw me. "The Hello Kitty pajama shorts and a tank top?" He asked.

I smiled at the way he knew me so well. "Please?"

He laughed lightly, and got up from his bed, set his phone on the side table, and walked to my room.

A few seconds later, he came back with my clothes, and panties and a bra as well.

I took the clothes, and mouthed a thank you to him, before walking back in the bathroom, and putting the clothes on.

Once I was finished, I put the towel on the rack, and walked slowly back to my room.

I opened the door, to find Tony covered with the blankets, sleeping peacefully.

I giggled, and crawled in bed with him. It was amazing that one person, could change my whole mood; My whole day, for that matter.

"Uhm...Bella?" Sam whispered, shaking me awake.

My eyes fluttered open. "Hmm?" I mumbled, still half asleep.

He bit his lip, nervously. "Mike's here.…" Sam glance at Tony.

I sighed. "Okay, I'll have to stay downstairs then." I suggested.

"I didn't think of that...wow, I feel like an idiot." He said, following me out the door, and down the stairs.

"Izzy? Will you just..listen to me for a second?" Mike slurred. I could tell he was trying to rush his words out. I ignored him lately, but listened for only a few seconds, out of pure pity.

"I'm really sorry. I know you hate me, but I really a-"

I cut him off. "I don't hate you." I stated. "I just don't trust you. We're not getting back together, but I still want to be your best friend." I confessed, a little awkwardly.

He pulled me into a tight hug, and lifted me off my feet, causing our thighs to rub against each other.

"Mikey, stop. That hurts..." I whispered in his ear.

Withough a second of hesitation, I was put back on the ground.

I sighed. "You should go.... I'll text you later. Okay?"

He nodded, and kissed my cheek before leaving, apprehensively.

I really did want things to be the same between us again. I loved having him as a best friend. He always made me laugh. But the question was; was he able to gain trust from me back? Did he really mean it when he said "I'm sorry"?