Maybe I Wasn't Enough

"You only live once, so just go fucking nuts…" my phone sang for what seemed the hundredth time.

I sighed, and ignored it. I picked up the acoustic guitar at the end of my bed, and began strumming.

"Izzy! Open up!" Andrew yelled through the door.

I sighed loudly, walked over to the door, and unlocked it. I didn't put the effort in to open it for him, but rather plopped back down on my bed.

The door opened, to reveal Andy and Tony.

"What're you doing here?" I asked Tony, after glaring menacingly at Andrew.

Tony walked through the door frame, and sighed lightly. "I'm apologizing." He answered.

I shook my head. "Why? I tend to run away from my problems." I quoted him. "Why in the world would you want to apologize to someone like that?"

He shook his head. "Izzy, please, just listen." He said, as I strummed on the guitar lightly again.

"I am listening." I stated, avoiding his gentle gaze.

He crawled into the bed next to me, and laid his head on my shoulder.

"You've been ignoring me." He stated.

I didn't reply, causing Tony to sigh heavily.

"You know I didn't mean to hurt you. I was only trying to help you deal with this." He said.

A few tears leaked from my bright colored eyes, as I put the guitar on the end of the bed, and sniffled.

He looked at me, and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Padmé, don't cry." He said, pressing his lips lightly to my cheek, and wiping my tears away.

"I'm sorry. I was being a bitch. I know you were trying to help, I just can't...I can't admit it." I stammered, more tears falling.

"No, baby, stop. It's understandable. It's expected." He said, lacing our fingers together.

I shook my head. "I need to deal with these things. It's just hard." I choked through a steady stream of tears.

He kissed me passionately. "Padmé, it's okay. Stop crying, please? I hate when you cry.…"

I wiped my tears away, and sniffled again. "Anakin, I love you." I stated.

He smiled, as I laid my head on his chest. "I love you too."

He pulled the Star Wars blanket at the end of the bed over us, and began twirling the ends of my hair.

~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~

I opened my eyes, to find Tony still sleeping peacefully.

I smiled, my thoughts on nothing but his flawless face.

"You're staring." He said, chuckling a bit, his eyes remaining closed.

"I'm gazing." I said, giggling.

He chuckled, as his beautifully brown eyes became visible, and stared into mine.

"I need to get up." I said, as he began tracing the thick scars on my arms.

"No," He protested. "We should stay here and cuddle." He nuzzled his face into my neck.

"I need to take a shower." I stated.

He grinned up at me, causing me to giggle.

"My mama's here." I said, causing him to frown a little.

"Fine.…" he unlocked his arms from around my waist, and I got up.

I grabbed a pair of ripped up skinny jeans, and a My Chemical Romance t-shirt.

I trusted him, and I loved him, but I couldn't help but to feel insecure all the time. Even around Tony.

As I let the hot water beads fall down my back, I ran my fingers over the well healed cuts on my leg. They were so hard to hide, I wish they would just heal already. Even though I knew there would always be a light trace of them, I hated seeing the red-edged wounds. They made me feel weak.

Once I was finished, I wrapped a towel around my body, and brushed my teeth.

I dried off, and put my clothes on. I decided to not to straighten my hair, again, letting it stay in it's original ringlet form, adding only a black headband.

Once I was finished, I walked back to my room. I fished out my phone from the bedside table, and turned it on.

17 messages. 16 from Tony, one from Vic.

Vic: remind tony about the recording in an hour.

I looked at the time he sent the message. 10:48

I then glanced at the current time. 12:06

I cursed under my breath, and jerked the blanket off Tony.

"Get up. You're late for the recording session." I said, shaking him a little.

He got up, and put his shoes on, then grabbed my wrist, and pulled me down the stairs.

"Wait, Ana!" I said, giggling, and grabbing my Vans.

I ran out the door after him, as we got into his car.