Lost

Lily stared out the window, watching the streets that used to be familiar flash by. She used to be able to recognize everything that was passing by in an instant. Someone could have pointed at a corner, and she could have told them how to get to the park from there, or to her cousin’s friend Brian’s house or Zack’s. She could have told them how to get home from any spot. Not her house, but her uncle and aunt’s house, the only place that had actually felt like a home.

But that was three years ago, and a lot of things can change in that time.

They were all gathered in the living room, smiling and toasting with champagne. Her mom and her aunt and uncle even let her and Matt have a glass, though she noticed that Drew had a disapproving look on his face. Her mother looked so delighted, though, especially since her uncle seemed to approve of Drew.

“A toast to my favorite sister, Carole, for finally finding a good man to settle down with,” Uncle Gary said, “and to Drew, for getting two of the greatest women in the world, Carole and Lily. You better take care of them.”

Lily didn’t notice they were at the house until her uncle started to pull into the driveway, due to the hood of her jacket blocking her peripheral vision. She’d been wearing it and her sunglasses since they had gotten to the airport in Redding. She hadn’t wanted people staring at her; the swelling on her face had gone down, but it was still discolored.

“Here we are, pumpkin,” Uncle Gary said as he opened his door. She opened hers and stepped out, looking up at the house that held most of her best memories.

“I hope Carole still lets Lily spend part of her summers here,” Gary told his sister’s fiancé. “We love her to death, and she and Matt are close; she even helps keep him out of trouble, if you believe it. You and Carole could stay to, or go on a trip for yourselves.”

“I don’t know about that,” Drew said. “I believe in family vacations.”

Her uncle put his arm around Lily’s shoulder. She hadn’t noticed, but he had gotten her suitcase out of the trunk and had it by the handle.

“It’s going to be alright,” he said as he led her towards the front door.

Lily’s aunt Kim stepped out on the porch to greet them with the same mishmash of emotions on her face that had been on Gary’s. Sadness. Sympathy. Worry. Guilt.

Lily hated it. None of this was their fault.

“Hey baby girl,” her aunt said as she reached to hug her. Lily heard her sniffle and rubbed the woman’s back. Her aunt whispered, “I’m so sorry, Lily.”

Lily didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t known what to say when her uncle had said the same thing to her. She wasn’t quite sure what they were sorry for.

Kim composed herself as she pulled away. “Come in, honey. Matt’s not here right now, but should be soon; he just got out of school. Are you hungry?”

“Not really, Aunt Kim,” Lily said as she took off her sunglasses and her hood. She heard her inhale sharply when she did.

The swelling was almost completely gone, but all around her left eye, down onto her cheek bone and back into her temple, was still a glaring, purplish-pink color. Her split lip was healing up, but the cut was still kind of scabby.

“Oh my…”

Lily didn’t meet her aunt’s eyes. She knew how she looked. Every look in the mirror was a reminder of what had happened.

A scream. A loud bang. A muffled thump. Then nothing.

“I’ll show you your room, Lily,” Gary interrupted the silence.

“Okay,” Lily mumbled and followed him up the stairs, glad to be away from the look her aunt had on her face. She looked absolutely horrified, Lily thought, almost as though she hadn’t really believed what had happened yet.

Gary opened a door and let Lily in before he followed her. “It’s not the same as the one you used to stay in, but this is one you can do whatever you want to. Unless you’d rather stay in the guest one—”

“This one’s good, Uncle Gary,” she said as she looked around. There was a double bed, a dresser, a desk, and a table beside the bed, all made of the same light colored wood. The floor was soft, the carpet a neutral grey color, and the walls were light and creamy.

“We can paint the walls if you want, or go buy some new sheets and stuff,” he said as he put her suitcase down by the two boxes that they had sent from Redding.

“Alright,” she said, still looking around the room, anywhere but towards her uncle.

“We want you to be happy here,” he continued, and then, after a few moments of silence, pulled his niece into a hug. “I’ll leave you alone for a while, okay pumpkin? You can unpack and settle in.”

“Thanks,” she whispered against his chest. He kissed her temple – the one that wasn’t bruised – and let go of her.

As he walked to the door he told her, “Like your aunt said, Matt should be home soon. Let us know if you need anything.” And then he left.

Lily turned away from the door and looked around the room again. She didn’t feel up to unpacking just then, so she sank down onto the bed and laid her head on the pillows. Her uncle’s words went through her head. Let us know if you need anything.

There was something that immediately came to her mind, but knew there was nothing anyone could do.



When Lily woke up, the room had grown darker. She could still see the faint glow of then sun outside the window, but the light wasn't spilling through it anymore.

She looked up at the face of the person who had woken her.

“Hey sleepy head,” Matt said, then he pulled her up and into crushing hug. “I’ve been so worried about you. Are you okay?”

Lily wrapped her arms around the boy who had always been her rock when they were younger and squeezed him almost as hard as he was squishing her. “I don’t think so, Matt,” she answered.

He pulled away and looked her in the face. “You’re going to talk to me, okay?” he said very seriously. “Dad says you’ve hardly said a word, but I know how you work, Lily, you can’t keep it all in. So after dinner, me and you, okay?”

Lily nodded, knowing that he was right about her needing to talk to someone, but unsure if she really wanted to.

“Alright then, come on.” He took her by the hand and pulled her up. “Mom made spaghetti.”

Lily followed him down to the dining room. Lily held her uncle’s and Matt’s hands while her aunt said grace. Then they ate in silence.

Eventually, Kim broke the silence. “Everything is set for tomorrow,” she said. “Matt, I laid your suit out on your bed; try not to wrinkle it. You’re already excused from school tomorrow, too. We have to be at the funeral home at ten.”

Lily put her fork down. She had lost her appetite. She knew what was going to happen tomorrow, she had known it all week, but it wasn’t until that moment when she had really realized what was tomorrow.

Her mother’s funeral.