|ˈro͞oin|

“Well babe. Looks like we are called out again.”
“Ugh… Not again! Why can’t that girl just get over you?”

I sit up next to him and pout.

Voice: “Well if you want my opinion. He’s quite a catch. He has everything, the money, the looks, a heart, caring, kind, PASSION?”

Yea I guess you’re right. He’s everything I ever wanted in a guy.

“What happened to Kira this time?”

I ask non-chalently as my body drags itself off of the bed and towards the dresser. I slowly start putting on my clothes. Comfort was key at 2am in the morning.

“Barron said she was throwing a fit again. I guess they got into a fight again.”

He sighs and wraps his arms around my waist from behind. He gently kisses my neck repeatedly before sighing again.

“I just don’t get why she can’t get over me. I mean yea, we had a thing going on while you and I were in an open relationship. But the whole time I knew I was supposed to be with you in the end…”

I turn my body to face his. His torso was extending in and out rapidly as his breathing slowly adjusts to mine. I look into his eyes and smile. He stares down and tilts his head to the left.

“What? Did I say something wrong again?”

“No, babe. I was just thinking how I would feel if I was in Kira’s position. If I didn’t have you… I think I’d go crazy just thinking about you. I know you don’t see it the way we do but baby. You are amazing.”

I adjusted quickly to shorten the space between our lips and lay a comforting kiss on his pearl like lips. His lips curl into a smile and his hands move down to my waist lifting me off of my feet for a couple of seconds. The moonlit was seeping throw the cracked shutters once more playing chase with the goldfish bowls as the rest of the room stands perfectly still.

The rest of the night played out like a lucid song. Kira had a minor break down after having a big fight with Barron the previous day. She kept muttering how he was being liar and how everything he said didn’t make any sense. She repeated over and over again to me that he was doing drugs with this buddy Victor again.

It all felt so strange to me. I mean Barron really? He was the quiet, nerdy type. With a slight case of depression, but it never got that bad that he was willing to use drugs.

Voice: “Well you never know. Maybe it finally hit him hard enough to where he needed a drug to get out of that slump. I mean Kira is not that much better. Doesn’t she smoke all day long anyway?”

Yea, she has a habit of smoking pot all day long. But pot doesn’t do that much to affect a person. Plus we all did shrooms the other week well Conner, Kira, Ayden and I did. Barron wouldn’t even go near that stuff.

Kira sits on the bed, with her back against the wall, staring at the wallpaper she just recently put up. The flower pattern repels the light that was trying to make its mark from the lantern in the corner of the room.

The boys sat in the back yard throwing rocks into the man made pond that they made together 2 years earlier. All of us had a connection to each other. Well to be more specific Barron dated me for a couple of months while Kira and Ayden were together. So I guess you can say we had our own little dating circle going on for a while. After Ayden and I decided we wanted to be exclusive again, Barron and Kira were heartbroken. They didn’t know each other back then.

Voice: “If it wasn’t for you and Ayden they wouldn’t be engaged now.”

That is true. 4 years down the line and they are the ones going through with it.

Voice: “What happened to your own engagement? I never quite understood why you called it off.”

It just didn’t feel like it was at the right time. I mean he was leaving anyway, but he wanted to be with me forever. I wasn’t sure back than. I’m still not too sure… Engagement is such a big deal. It’s like putting your life on hold. All the things you wanted to do. All the things you want. All the things that you still are not sure of all bundled into one thing. It's like a ring that is supposed to take you to that big day, when you are standing on a stage.

When you are sure that the person standing before you is the person you know you want forever… There goes another big word. Forever a time where eternity is only the measure, like a wormhole. Like a never-ending space from a continuation of space and time, with no true form but a hole.

I never got the concept of black holes, it’s always been hard for me to grasp. The whole thing just sounds like a scamp that bored computer nerds came up with in their spare time. Time. I never feel like I have enough of it. However, with Ayden it feels like I have a ton of time. Maybe that’s why my thoughts are everywhere. Scattered I mean.

Voice: “Your mind is like a mine-field. I swear, I may be a thought in your head but I can’t even follow you sometimes. “

No one needs to follow my thoughts. They are MINE for a reason.

Ayden looks up from the patio and calls out “Autumn!”

I stride toward the window and open the shutters to move the glass.

“Yes, Ayden?”

“Come down here and bring Kira with you. Let’s have a talk. All of us some to need one.”

I turn to face Kira, who was still sitting lifeless on the bed. I walk over and sit down next to her. I place my hand on her back and move my palm in a slow circular motion.

“You okay?”

My voice leaves my mouth in a whisper. The room was still. Everything was quite and the sun was rising in the back. The forest behind their house held tall Evergreen trees with a mix of Redwood tress and tall Oaks. The wind rustled the branches as it blew through the small spaces in between.

“I think so. “ She whispers back.

I get up and take her hand in mine.

“Let’s go the guys are waiting for us downstairs.”

Voice: “Why are you being so nice to her? I thought you hated her.”

You can only hate a person to an extent and I never really said I hated her. I just dislike her. But I understand her pain. I was going through that a while back when being with Ayden was only in my dreams.

Voice: “Yea I remember those times, they were pretty hard.”

Exactly.
The staircase leading to the living room was dark; only the lights in the living room and the kitchen lighted the hallways. The dishes were piled up in the sink. Books and magazines covered the floor as if a tornado blew through their living room. I lead Kira out of the back door. The guys sit on the porch chairs with a beer in each of their hands. Kira walks over to Barron and sits on his lap. She cuddles up to his neck and starts whispering “Sorry” into his ear. He takes her face in the palms of his hands. He stares intently into her eyes for 5 seconds and then kisses her purged, hungry lips.

“I love you babe. You should know that. I just wish you would stop living in the past so much. I’m here now. We’re getting married in 3 months. Aren’t I good enough?”

Barron’s voice is stern and unwavering. He was truly hurt by Kira’s latest episode.

“I know baby. I love you so much. I’ll try my best to see you and only you. You are the one that’s brought me this far. I could only see my future with you. “

They gazed into each other’s eyes once more and lean in for another kiss. I stare at Ayden as I make my way towards his seat. He looks contently at me and I can see the gaze he held for me the first time we met. I went to stand by his side and let my arm fall onto his shoulder.

Marriage… I couldn’t see that in my future. Well at least not in the near future. Maybe later. But then what if later… Ughh… I hate thinking about the future. It’s always a blur. It’s a never-ending train of thought. It can go so many ways. Why would I even bother with that? I have enough problems as it is. Well enough for now anyway.

Voice: “Yep. You have issues. I am one of them. Why is it that you never let me sleep?”

Who said I wanted you awake? I don’t need the back and forth commentary anyway. I’m already fucked up as it is. But you always seem to pick on me and make me think I’m crazier than I really am.

Voice: “Who ever said you weren’t crazy? Haha.”

Ughh… You’re so annoying.

Ayden looks up at me and smiles a heart-shaking smile. He was gorgeous and mine. Mine… I never really thought about that. He was mine and he wanted to be mine. I leaned down and kissed him. He opened his mouth slightly inviting my tongue in. Once I gave into temptation he pulls me onto his lap and kisses me deeply, with passion and emphasis. Emphasis that agreed with my thought fully, that he was mine and he wanted it to be that way.

I pull away for a minute to catch my breath. He did that a lot, well he makes me lose my breath a lot. It’s not entirely his fault; I guess I just fall too quickly. But he’s been my safety net. Every time I feel like I’m falling I can feel his warmth, the comforting flame on a cold night. Reliable and there. Just there. I love it though. The urges to just give into his every need. The want to be his, I’ve always had that feeling deep down. I guess lately I couldn’t find it.

“I love you.”

He whispers the words into my hand as he kisses my fist. Our finger intertwines like a pair of swans dancing in a deserted lake. The sun rises in front of us, blinding our eyes of a moment as it rises above our heads.

“Damn. It’s already 6:00 am. I have work in 2 hours. Well I’m going to get ready then.”

Barron gently nudges Kira off of his lap and gets up to stretch out his torso. He lets out a noisy yawn. Kira gets up to stretch her self and copies Barron’s yawn. He looks down at her and makes a fake frown. He grabs her by her wrists and pulls her in for a bear hug, lifting her body up into the air. She giggles as he nudges his head on her collarbone.

“I love you, you mountain man.”

“I love you too, my little ballerina.”

He set her down and they let their hands link as if it was just a natural occurrence. She turns around to face us.