If You Only Knew

I walked home thinking about Gerard. He has those cheek bones that could kill. I imagine every feature I noticed. From his flawless face to his body. Yes, I stared at his body! I'm such a creep. No way in hell will I have a chance with him. I like his delicate ways, his love of nature I suppose. Never have I met a guy who loves nature. Well, not that I talk to anyone anyways. I'm very anti-social. Just as I begin to daydream about him, I hear my father hollering at someone or something. He always yells at the TV. Football. Not my thing. I play guitar. My love for music is as strong as you think. I have been playing since seven years old. I consider myself ...decent.

Father:" Where the fuck have you been?!"
Frank:"Why do you care? You want me dead anyway."
Father:"Your damn right! Now get your faggot ass to bed" he chuckles like its the most funniest thing in the world. That son of a bitch will pay someday. I'd rather pass the time in my room alone then be criticized by my own father. Nothing else to do I go to bed. My mind wanders back to Gerard. I wonder if he's gay? I want to know how it feels to have his arms around me, snuggling eachother. Woah! To far there Frank. Never...going...to...happen. I sigh and accept the truth. I turn over and fall asleep.

-Next Day-
*Yawns*
A brand new day.........yay. Another day of torture and discouragement. I wake up and pull on a Black Flag shirt, ripped up skinny jeans, and some vans. I brush my teeth and go downstairs and wait for my father to insult me.

Father:"Hey..."
Frank:"Hey..."
Father:"uh....there's cereal."
Frank:"...k.."
Father:"When your done, go look for a job. Your not living here for free. I should've had your ass work when you were born."

Without saying he walked away. I sat there and ate cold cereal. It sounds so plain....cold cereal. I finished, grabbed my sweater and left the house happily. I was afraid to go into town but that was my only choice. Everyone knows me as drunken whores' child. Trust me not a great way to be known. Luckily, the only people who know I'm gay are my parents. My mom would not dare tell anyone, but my dad, eh, hes also anti-social, runs in the family. I'm not so much worried. I finally walked into town, packed. Just great, just what I begged for. I walked past everyone with ny hood up. No one noticed me, whew.

Person: " Frank?"

First thoughts, 'Oh, shit!'

Person: " Frank is that you?"

I look up and smile.

Person: " Omg! It is! Hi! How are you?"
Frank:" uh...good."
Person:" that's great, well, I can't really talk so bye!"

Uh....okay...? You talked to me first, eh, I shrug it off. So I keep walking to find a nice secluded store, that doesn't involve much interaction with people. I feel a vibration. It's my phone and my mom asked if I'm okay , I say yes blah blah I love you and everything. Well, I wasn't paying attention and I just so happened to walk into Gerard. I fell right on top of him. He grabbed my waist I guess from falling, but that didn't help did it. So I lay there on top of him for a few seconds. Few seconds of enjoyment. I get up really quick though.

Frank: "I'm so sorry, I was texting, I should've payed attention, I didn't..."
He chuckles.
Gerard: " its okay, it happens."

He squeezed my shoulder and I blush. He's looking straight at me and I look away. I'm not the person to keep eye contact. I was so caught up in my emotions, I didn't even realize I spilled his coffee.

Frank:"Oh, god I'm so sorry , let me buy you another one."
Gerard: laughing " Your to sweet, its okay, it tasted gross anyway."

Every time he smiles, I melt. He is too sweet. I do a quick smile.

-Gerard-
Wow. This guy has some issues, no offense. He's cute and sweet, but what is really going on with him. He can't keep eye contact, he looks down all the time, and scared. Whatever it is I'm going to find out.