Inamorta

James drove us back to his hotel in silence. i guess there just wasn't much to say. I really didn't feel like talking anyway, but it would have been nice if he'd have said hello or something. instead, he gave me a soft kiss. which was even better in my opinion, so who am i to complain?

i try not to think about anything at all as he tucks me into the large bed and climbs in after me, pulling me flush against his chest. this is shockingly like the first night he was back, but i ignore the de ja vu and let him cuddle me. It is now that i let my tears out. i cry for a while until i'm spent. I'm extremely tired but my mind is racing.

soon, i will leave this town and never look back.

soon, i will move in with my.. baby daddy?

soon, i will bring a baby into this world.

soon, i will be a mother.

the thought is so terrifying but yet so exciting. in five months (give or take) i'm going to meet my baby for the first time. that reminds me.. shouldn't i be going to the doctor or something? or be on some type of vitamins? i guess i'll have to look into that.

i hope that she's healthy... whoops there i go again. calling my baby a she. whatever... i like to thing of it like that... but i'll be just as happy if i get a boy.. a little carbon copy of James, now wouldn't that be nice? i sigh in contentment, melting against his chest. if he knew that pretty much the only things that i think about are him in the baby he'd be seriously creeped out.

i smile to myself, and eventually i drift into a light sleep.



i wake up in a cold sweat, my hair sticking to my forehead. the room is spinning and my stomach is rolling, and i know that i'm going to vomit. i make a mad dash for the bathroom and empty my stomach in the porcelain. i take a deep shaky breath, brush my teeth thoroughly, and go back to bed. I'm surprised to find that it's still dark out side. isn't it supposed to be "morning sickness"?

James is sitting up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "wassamatter?" he slurs, pulling up the covers so i can climb back in. i do so, shrugging my shoulders. "nothing." i say, giving him a kiss on the cheek. he accepts that and lays back down next to me, and we resume our earlier position. it seems like no time at all before i'm dreaming again.



{James's POV}

it's maybe ten in the morning when i finally drag my ass out of bed. Clover is still sleeping soundly, seemingly oblivious to my absence. i get dressed and decide to go get us some breakfast. i take my wallet and head out the door.

i walk to the near by diner and order some food to go, and a few minutes later i'm walking back. this is all very strange in my opinion. we had sex once , and now she's knocked up. what are the chances? I'm tempter to ask for a maternity test, even though there's not a single doubt in my mind that she's telling the truth.

i'm just not ready to be a dad. that cold hard truth right there is enough to make me want to turn and run. but i know i can't. no matter how much i want to, i can't run away from this. This isn't just Clover's fault, it's mine too. i have to take responsibility and be a man. and when this baby comes i'm going to be there for it no matter what, and be one hell of a dad.

Clover is still asleep when i get back, her strawberry blond hair spilled out onto the pillow behind her. she's beautiful, i have to admit, but do i want to spend the rest of my life with this woman? I'm drawn to her, that's for sure, but i don't know if i love her. and how can i? I've only spent about two weeks with her in person. but that doesn't matter now. I'm saddled with her for the rest of my life.

i sigh and sit on the edge of the bed, i don't want to think like that. i just want... i just want everything to be easy. to be normal. but i guess that's impossible now.

gently, i shake her awake. She jolts up, looking frazzled. I can't help but laugh because her long hair is sticking up crazily, but she still looks gorgeous. "mornin' love." i say, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "morning." she yawns. she stretches her arms high over her head, and it lifts up her shirt slightly, giving me a glance of her swollen mid section. i try not to stare and i smile instead.

"got break fast." i say lamely, holding up the brown paper sack from the diner. she smiles brightly, lighting up the room. "thanks, babe." she gets out of the bed, making for the bathroom. "what're you doing?" i ask, even though it's obvious.

she looks back at me, her eyes shining with something i can't identify. "i need a shower, wanna wash my back?" by the way she says it it's like she's only half joking. she smirks as i get up and follow her to the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind us.

she captures my mouth, surprising me. she bites my bottom lip, demanding entrance. i widen my mouth obligingly, running my hands down her sides , stopping at the waistband of her shorts and going back up again. Her hands grip my face a little too hard, but i don't mind. i'm actually kind of liking this new aggressiveness. i back her up against the counter, trying to win back control. she surrenders with out further fight, letting me leave hickeys on her neck. when i find her sweet spot, i know immediately because she fists a hand in my hair and lets out several breathy moans. i nip the sensitive skin gently, pulling it between my teeth while sucking. she lets out several soft cries, pulling me hard against her. i kiss my way back up to her lips, absolutely loving the reaction i'm pulling from her.

when we finally pull away a few minutes later, we're both breathing hard. "i do have to take a shower, you know." she breathes, eyes clouded with lust. "so do i." i mumble against the skin of her neck, "we should conserve water, you know, global crisis and all."

she laughs, leaning in to my touch. "maybe you're right." she pulls me back up for a long, slow kiss. now i remember why i like this girl.

{Clover's POV}

Layer by layer, our clothes fall to the ground until we're both completely naked. i can tell that James is trying hard to to look at my stomach, but i ignore it, distracting him with a kiss instead. he pulls me into the shower that i didn't realize was running, letting the warm water pour over us for a second before continuing. His big, rough hands graze over my sensitive skin, making me shiver in anticipation. he teases me though, letting his fingers lightly trail over my folds. i lean into him, hoping for more, but he denies me, leaving kisses on my neck instead.

i grunt in frustration, reaching down in between us to grasp him, hoping to maybe speed this up a little. he gasps against my skin, his grip on my hips becoming painful as i start to move my hand up and down his hardening length. James rests his head against my shoulder, breathing deeply, or at least trying to. Moans slip out of his lips, and just when i feel him on the brink- i pull away, leaving him breathless.

the look he gives me is borderline scary, it's so full of lust and passion. he pounces on my, kissing me hungrily. he takes my lower lip between his teeth, biting it harshly. not even a second later his tongue darts out, licking the spot his teeth had mauled, like an apology. But i don't even register the pain, i just need him so fucking bad.

"James," i murmur into his ear, and he visibly shivers. "please." i don't need to say anything else, he gets it. wordlessly, he lifts me up by my bum and i wrap my legs around him.he kisses me, and with one easy movement he is inside of me. oh god. sex is even better the second time.

he goes slow at first, gradually getting faster. every time he pumps back into me, every fucking time, he manages to hit that one spot that makes my toes curl. i feel my muscles tighten around him as i near my release.

the only coherent thoughts that run through mind are four letter words and dear go i almost can't breathe it's so good. i feel James groan, spilling inside of me. He fucks me through his orgasm, ensuring that i reach mine.

oh fuck here it comes.

waves of frantic pleasure consume me and drag me down into an abyss of absolute bliss. i moan out his name and go limp, letting him support my weight. no wonder people like sex so much. i feel the rough pads of his fingers under my chin as he pulls me up for a kiss.

lazily, i kiss him back, feeling him pull out. he gently untangles my legs from his waist and sets me down on my feet. from there on we actually take a shower, the water running cold not even half way through. i don't mind though;just as long as he keeps kissing me like that.

after we're both squeaky clean and spent, we get dressed and eat the now cold breakfast James picked up. the slick eggs make me want to vomit again, but i stifle the urge. I don't wanna shatter this lovely moment we're having my going to the bathroom and spilling my guts. so i just chug a bit of water and take a few deep breaths. thankfully, the nausea goes away. My phone buzzes with a text, and i automatically know that it's Callie.

her texts reads something like this: hey babe are we still hanging out today?

i immediately text her back, telling her yes and giving her directions tour our hotel. She'll be here soon, she assures me.

"hey," i look at James, and he looks back up, mouth full of food. he looks almost comical, and i can't help the giggle that escapes my lips. "My friend's coming over, is that okay?" he nods back, and a small smile graces my lips. "when are we going to Jersey?" i ask a minute later, suddenly anxious all over again.

"Soon," he grins, "most likely tomorrow or the day after."

"oh."

It hits me again that i might never come back here, to this town. i might never see Callie again. unwanted tears prick at my eyes and i look at the ground, not wanting him to see me cry. i wipe at the traitorous water droplets frantically, willing them to go away. but no such luck. they pour down my face in furious torrents, catching James' attention almost immediately.