Inamorta

He's kissing me hard, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me flush against him. yeah, I've been kissed before, but never anything like this. this is... intense, to say the least. then he pulls away. i want him to kiss me like that again -and so much more- but he simply looks at me. his mouth looks swollen from our kiss.
I don't know what to say, so i don't say anything at all. i look at the ground, shuffling my feet uncomfortably. "would you like to come back to the bus?" he asks, and I know what he wants. but i just can't bring myself to give it to him.
"Actually... my friend's waiting on me. i'd better get back." i lie, avoiding his gaze guiltily. "oh." he says, and instantly i regret what I've said. "well at least take my number." i nod, and he scribbles it down messily onto my hand.

"i'll see you after the show." he grins at me one last time before walking off. i cant help but admire his broad, tattooed back. the sight of him almost makes me wish that'd i had gone back to the bus with him. but i believe firmly in the no-sex-on-the-first-date rule. even though this wasn't a date, it's just that...yeah, never mind. My mom has always told me that if you have respect for yourself, others will too. and plus i don't want to be another one of his groupie whores.

i roll my eyes at myself and walk back the way i came to go and see if Callie is finished yet. when i look around and don't see her, i go to the BVB bus, press my ear up against it. it's not like i have to, they're moaning so loud. Classy Callie, very classy. I walk slowly back to the front of the venue. there's quite a bit of people here now, and the sun's beating down hard. i sit in the cool shade on the wall, pulling out a cigarette. i light it, taking a long drag. yep. this is the life.
i check the time on my phone. forty five minutes till show time. shit. what am i supposed to do for forty five minutes, alone, in the the hot sun?
well this sucks. i could've hung out with James for a bit... nope. too late now. i took another drag off the cigarette, inhaling deeply. if only i had a friend.....
speak of the devil. Callie bounces up to me, looking happy. "how was it?" i ask dryly, taking another drag.

"amazing." she beams, snatching the cigarette from my hand and taking a long, smooth drag. "he even asked me to meet him after the show." her grin is luminescent.

"lucky bastard." i say, reaching for the cigarette. "oh whats this then? a phone number?" she snatches my wrist, holding it there. "you slut! you got a boys' phone number!" she grins. shit. i'd completely forgotten about James. momentarily, anyway. i yank my wrist out of her grasp, scowling. "tell me all about it."

i sigh, knowing that i can't keep a secret like this from my best friend. i tell her everything. her eyes are wide and her mouth forms a perfect O.

"no way!" she exclaims, clapping a hand over her mouth excitedly. "way." i take a final drag and stop the cigarettes' light out. "how come you didn't fuck him?"

"i'm not like that." i scoff at her. "well i am, and i'd have done him right then and there." she's kind of kidding, but not really. but i laugh anyway, getting up off the ground and brushing off my jeans.

"c'mon. show's gonna start soon." i hold out my hand to her, she takes it gratefully and i pull her up. now's the time i'd been waiting for. Asking Alexandria is going on stage.

the crowd pulsates around me, pressed closed around me. they jump and sway to the music, and for a while there, i feel as if i'm a part of something. that's always been my favorite part of concerts; the closeness that you feel when there's a thousand people all packed into a room to listen to your favorite band.

just as i knew that it would sometime, it ends, black veil brides was the last to go on, and Callie quickly rushes off to go find Andy, leaving me alone in a crowded room with strangers. now that the concert is over, i have nothing in common with these people. they aren't a part of me anymore. that's the worst part of concerts; the ending.

quietly, alone, i shuffle out into the now cool, dark, summer night. what the fuck am i supposed to do now?
I'm alone, it's cold, and unless Callie finishes up whatever she's doing early, i don't think that i'll be out of here anytime soon. fuck my life. this shit always happens to me. Callie finds a cute guy, and leaves me without a ride home for hours. why did i think that tonight would be any different?

"Hey."

I jump, but it's only James. he's thrown a leather coat on over his shirtless torso. my my my.. now doesn't he look scrumptious? "hey." i greet, tucking a loose strand of Strawberry blonde hair behind me ear. "what's up?"

i shake my head, "nothing."

"well.. do you want to come back to the bus? we can hang out and you can meet the guys." he suggests hopefully. well.. it is pretty cold out here.. and Asking Alexandria is my favorite band... ah, what the hell.

"sure,"