The Jerk Theory

The restaurant that Harry had dragged me too was a little too trendy for my taste. We were finally on break from tour and had returned to London earlier that day. I hadn’t talked to Holly in a few weeks. She was still ignoring me after the whole Phil thing. I’d called and texted a few times, but she wasn’t calling me back. I had settled in my flat, ready for a night in, when Harry dragged me out. He promised a decent date, and who was I to refuse?

Harry was right. Sort of. She was a decent date. Her name was Norah and she was very good looking. A fact she seemed aware of as well. He dress was a little too short for my liking, and her breasts were a little too obvious.

I was able to identify her insecurity from the first glance. She was the outgoing type. The pretty, loud, overbearing type. She was very confident. But I could tell every move she made, every word she said was carefully deliberated and planned out.

I didn’t like her for two reasons. One, she wasn’t fun or spontaneous. And two, she was as dumb as the dinner rolls.

Harry seemed enthralled with his date, which was a carbon copy of Norah. Same personality, same hair, similar outfit, and I’m sure they had the same IQ. Which was disheartening, to say the least.

“So is it like, true that spoons scare you?” She asked, her head cocked to the side. “Because that’s kind of stupid.”

“Among other things.” I muttered while picking at my food. Harry gave me a sharp look, which I pointedly ignored.

“What?” She asked, looking as confused as ever.

“Nothing.” I shrugged. “I don’t want to talk about me. Tell me more about you. I’m sure you have a really interesting life.”

“No!” She giggled nasally. “I’m modeling for Calvin Klein right now.”

“A model. Figures.” I said dryly, stabbing my broccoli with more force that necessary. That’s the only kind of person Harry seemed to attract. Models, actresses, wannabes. No one with any depth or substance. I seemed to be falling into the same taste as him and I didn’t like it.

“I mean. It’s not like, everything I want to do. I could do something important. Like…” She trailed off. “You know.”

“Er. Yeah.” I had the overwhelming urge to stab my fork into my eye. Harry was laughing with his date, whose name I couldn’t remember. He seemed pleased with the way things were going. He was leaning in, laughing slowly, and looking all predatory. I tried to do the same, and engaged in a pathetic excuse fro conversation with a girl I wasn’t even slightly interested in.

When the meal was finally over, I was itching to leave. There were so many things I would rather be doing. Harry winked at him slyly, and I just shook my head. There were no redeeming qualities about this night. At all.

Norah grabbed onto my arm as were leaving, making me flinch slightly. Her long nails dug into my skin sharply and I fought the desire to flinch away. That was something Holly always did, but it felt different. I usually liked the pressure of her hand in the crook of my arm, but when Norah did it, it felt completely weird and possessive.

There was a large crowd outside the restaurant. People called out my name and pushed towards me. I just shoved through the crowd with my head ducked, hoping to keep my temper in check. Luckily the car wasn’t too far away and we made it there with no problems.

“How about we go check out the new club downtown?” Harry’s date suggested, curling snuggly into his side as we rode. I cringed at the suggestion. I just wanted to go home. Harry looked at me, waiting for an agreement. I shook my head slowly.

“I’m absolutely knackered from traveling. I think I’m going to call it a night.” I said, rubbing my palms along my thighs. I leaned up to the driver and told him to talk be back to my apartment building.

Harry groaned in protest, asking me to stay, but I refused. If I had to spend one more second with Norah I was going rip my hair out. She had deflated since I announced that I was leaving. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was scowling at the floor.

I was finally let out of the car after a tense ten minutes of silence. I jumped out onto the pavement with a little too much enthusiasm.

“Liam!” Harry called out after me, after telling the girls to wait. “What’s the matter with you? She’s so easy!”

“I don’t know. I just wasn’t into her, not even for a shag.” I shrugged, shoving my hands into my pockets.

“Fine. We’ll call it a fluke and I’ll forgive your skipping out on me on such a opportune night.” Harry said. He gave me clap on the back and started towards the car. “You better make this up to me, Liam.”

“Sure.” I told him. I waved at the car as I pulled away. I began trudging back to my flat, feeling a little blue for no reason. My phone buzzing in my pocket pulled me out of my trance.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Why hell have you been in London for nearly 12 hours and not come begging for forgiveness?” Holly asked immediately. I pulled the phone away from my ear, checking the contact. I can’t believe she is actually calling me.

“Um. I’m busy?” I said dumbly.

“Well. You have 43 minutes before the day is over. If I don’t see you groveling at me feet before midnight, you will be in serious trouble.” She told me. Her voice had dropped a couple octaves and I felt a small smile play at the corners of my lips. At that she ended the call, leaving me 43 minutes to run across town.

I knocked loudly when I arrived at her door. I wanted to be as annoying at possible. The door opened to reveal a half smiling, half scowling Holly. My face could hardly contain my smile when I saw her.

“Well.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m sorry.” I said with a shrug. “My heart is overwhelmed with grief, Holly. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I can’t function knowing that you’re angry with me. So please. I beg of you. Find it in your heart to forgive me. I might die if you don’t.”

“I don’t appreciate the sarcasm. But thank you.” She said with a laugh. Her arms opened wide, beckoning me to her. “Now hug me!”

I obliged. I wrapped her in a tight hug, chuckling at how small she was when she was enveloped in me. I rested my chin on the top of her head and gave her a tight squeeze. That earned a groan of protest from her and a punch in the back. I released her with a cheeky grin, which she returned.

“Get in here.” She said, opening the door to me so that I could come inside. I immediately plopped down on her couch, toeing off my shoes, and kicking my feet up on the coffee table.

“Do you want anything to drink or something?” Flicking me in the forehead as she crossed to the kitchen. I laughed and rubbed at the sore spot. “I was just getting myself some coffee.”

“Coffee sounds good.” I said and rolled of the couch. I followed her into the kitchen and nudged her out of the way. “I’ll do it. Consider it part of my penance.”

“Good slave.” She said, patting me on the head. I batted her hand away with a playful glare. I opened the cupboard and pulled out two mugs. I grabbed her favorite red one with and “H” on it and was relived to find my “L” one that I had moved in before I left. I worried she may have gotten rid of it or something while I was gone.

“Of course I kept it.” She said behind me. I turned to her; curious as to how she knew what I was thinking. “Please. I can feel you thinking. You always do that too much. It’s just a cup.”

“Right. Just a cup.” I laughed, shrugging off any past impressions of the situation. I filled the cup with warm liquid and watched the steam curl out of our special coffee mugs. They were just cups, I needed to remind myself.

I handed her cup to her after adding four generous spoon fulls of sugar, just how she liked it. She took it and brought it to her mouth in a attentive sip. She pulled the cup away with a small smile.

“You remembered.” She commented.

“It’s just a coffee order.” I said with a shrug. She looked at me for a moment, looking at a loss for words.

“Right.” She laughed with a sweep of her hand. “Coffee. Lets sit.”

The mood had changed. It suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. I settled into the table slowly, not taking my eyes off her. She followed suit and sat across from me. She stared at me blankly. Not saying anything.

“I’m really mad at you. And I don’t even know why. I just wanna hit you.” She finally said after a long, awkward silence. I chuckled, relieved that some of the tension was dissolved.

“I know. You’re more than welcome to hit me.” I promised stupidly. I knowing she would probably accept the offer, and she would not be gentle.

“Good.” She smirked evilly. “I just miss you a lot. Is that weird?”

“No. I miss you, too. You know that.”

“Do I?” I raised my eyebrow at her. She sighed, and continued. “Because sometimes I look at those pictures of you in the paper, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m one of those girls. If I’m like…just a phase or whatever.”

“What?”

“I don’t know. Just like someone you spend time with to prove a point.”

“And what point would that be?”

“I don’t know! Okay? I just don’t know how to describe it. I just feel like I’m losing you sometimes.” She said, dropping her eyes into her drink.

“Holly…It’s not like that.” I said quietly. I reached over and grabbed one of her small hands in mine. “You’re my favorite girl, okay? I love you.”

“What?” She said, her eyes wide.

“You’re my best friend and I love you.” I amended quickly. “I care about you a lot and I don’t want you to feel like you don’t fit into my life. Because you do and I’ll always make time for you.”

“I love you too, Li.” She said with a small laugh. “You’re right. I’m just being dumb.”

“You’re not.” I assured her. “I’m glad you said something.”

“So…” She said, tapping at the table. We looked around the room for a few minutes, not sure what to say.

“So how about you tell me about Phil now?” I finally decided.

“Really?” She said. She was looking at me suspiciously, chewing on her lip.

“Sure…How was the date?” I said, trying to keep my tone casual.

“Good. It’s was…different.” She told me, her cheeks tinting a rosy color. I narrowed my eyes at her blush.

“Different.” I deadpanned.

“Good different. He’s just…he’s really…nice.” She said dreamily, smiling into her cup stupidly.

“Your eloquence is astounding me.” I said, nudging her shin with my foot under the table. She laughed and kicked me back, a little harder.

“I think I might really like him. And I haven’t liked anyone like this in a long time. Its…its just good, I dunno.” She shrugged shyly.

“Well, that’s good to hear.” I said, leaning back into my chair, trying not to puke as she started to excitedly recount the consistency of his hair.