The Jerk Theory

The following week was uneventful for the most part. It mostly consisted of work, publicity, texting Holly, glaring at Niall, and more work. The more I spent time with girls on the meaningless dates the more I found myself hating Niall. He was so insufferable. Him and Marjorie made me nauseous.

Speaking of nausea, that is what I was feeling the particular moment as Niall and Marjorie were kissing right in front of me. Okay, it might not have been directly in front of me but it was in the same room and I just felt weird about it. Especially since I know that Marjorie is such a good kisser.

When Harry invited me to go out tonight, I didn’t expect to find Niall and Marjorie in his flat. I immediately regretted coming. I wanted to turn around and go home. I would rather slit my wrist and bathe in salt water than watch those two on a date.

“What are they doing here?” I hissed into Harry’s ear quietly.

“Niall wanted to come. I told him it would be okay.” Harry said simply.

“I’m out.” I stated and turned on my heel to leave. Harry grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

“No way.” He told me and yanked me into the living room. I felt his hand collide with my chest, shoving me onto the couch. I landed with and “oof.”

Niall and Marjorie smiled and we exchanged pleasantries. It seemed that the tension was one sided and all on my part. I couldn’t help it. I still couldn’t wrap my brain around every thing that had happened between us. And its not like we talk about it either. I glared at Harry as he took a seat next to me.

“Well I was just waiting to hear back from Lou. He said he didn’t want to come.” Harry said, looking at his cell phone. He started typing, completely ignoring me.

“Liam, you’re staring.” Harry whispered into my ear. I jumped as he voice pulled me out of my trance. “Its like you’re trying to shoot laser beams from your eyes. I thought we were past this while ‘pining for Marjorie’ thing. Honestly, man.”

“I’m not pining after her.” I snapped. Harry rolled his eyes and turning his attention back to his phone. I tapped my hand on my knee sporadically as I looked for anywhere else to put my eyes. The longer I was here, the more I wondered why.

“Jesus, Liam!” Harry shouted, smacking my hand away from my leg so that I would stop tapping.

“Do I have to come?” I asked.

“Why don’t you want to come?” Marjorie interjected suddenly. I glanced over at her briefly.

“Yeah! Why not? We’re going clubbing. You make it sound like such a chore.” Niall said, wrapping an arm around Marjorie’s thin shoulders. I grimaced at the possessive gesture.

“We go clubbing all the time.” I reminded them all.

“We do not!” Harry argued.

“It’s all in the name of publicity, right? It’s part of the gig.” Marjorie offered, threading her fingers with Niall’s hand that was around her shoulders. She did it so absent-mindedly. It was like a reflex. I hated how effortless they were together.

“I don’t see you making Lou or Zayn come!” I said, pointing an accusing finger at Harry.

“They’re doing romantic shit with their birds.” Harry said with a wave of his hand. “I just want to hang out with my best friend and get totally smashed. Is that too much to ask?”

“Whatever, you fucking drama queen. Let’s just go.” I grumbled, pushing myself of off the couch.

“That’s the spirit!” Harry said triumphantly. “Why don’t you see what Holly is up to tonight?” Harry suggested as we rode the lift. Marjorie’s eyes immediately settled on me.

“She’s working tonight. I spoke to her earlier.” I said, clearing my throat.

“Who’s Holly?” Marjorie asked, a small hint of a smile playing on her lips.

“She’s-“ I began, only to be interrupted by Harry.

“She’s bloody fit, that’s what she is.” Harry said. I shot him a glare.

“You got a new girl?” Niall asked, slightly confused.

“She’s a friend.” I said with a shake of my head.

“A incredibly attractive friend.” Harry said again.

“That’s great, Liam!” Marjorie said, with a little too much enthusiasm. “We’d love to meet her! Right, Niall?” She nudged him softly with his elbow.

“Er, sure. Yeah. Any friend of yours is a friend of ours.” Niall said, sarcasm dripping from his words. I looked at him for a moment before dropping his gaze and looking around awkwardly.

“We’ll see.” I said. Translation: No way in hell.



“How was work?” I asked as I stirred my morning tea. Holly had this weird habit of calling me in the morning. I actually enjoyed it a lot. It was a little strange because there weren’t many people that I had regular phone calls with.

“Long. I got good tips though. People were really generous.” She said. Her voice was thick, like she was chewing on something. Then the sound of crunching filled my ear, like she was eating something obscenely unhealthy. Probably a bag of crisps. She had told my on several occasions how much she loved eating crisps.

“That’s good.” I said, taking a sip of the steaming liquid in front of me.

“How was your night with Niall and his little minx?” She asked. I choked on the liquid I was currently ingesting.

“His little minx?” I said, slightly horrified at the name. “What the hell is that matter with you?”

“I don’t remember her name! Stacy, or Janet or um…wait it kind of sounds like marmalade right?” She offered, her voiced laced with confusion.

“Marjorie?” I deadpanned.

“That’s it! That was my next guess.” She giggled. When I didn’t respond, she stopped and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t making fun of her.”

“No. It’s fine. I don’t care what you say.” I sniffed, leaning in and smacking my head on the wall a couple of times.

“You really like her, don’t you?” Holly said quietly.

“No. I don’t know. I used to. Maybe I still do. Either way it’s pointless.” I grumbled.

“Anyway, I’m sorry I couldn’t hang out. My schedule has been crazy. The only thing I do is go to school and work. Please don’t tell me you forgot about our plans tomorrow, because I have been looking forward to it all week.” She said.

“Nope. We’re still on for tomorrow.” I replied, extremely grateful for the conversation change. “What did you want to do?”

“I don’t know. Take me somewhere trendy and exclusive.” She said with a flourish. I laughed out loud. Holly was the farthest thing from trendy and exclusive material.

“Um?” I said with a confused voice.

“Nah. Since Harry is coming I think we should just go to a pub. Get cheap food and easy girls to keep you lads happy.” She said lightly.

“You speak my language, miss Jackson.” I said sarcastically.

“I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, Mr. Payne.” She warned.

“Sorry, mum.” I grumbled.

“Go kill yourself.” She shot back.

“That was incredibly rude.” I said with a scoff.

“Not my problem. Anyway. I have to run to class. Take it easy today, Liam. You’ll need your strength for tomorrow.” She said suggestively.

“I’m hanging up now.” I said, slightly disgusted. She started to talk rapidly. I pressed the end call button. I smiled as I say the phone on the table in front of me. Our conversations were the same every morning. They would all end with me hanging up, and her trying to say as much as she could before I ended the call.