The Jerk Theory

The next night, Harry and I walked into the pub a little late. We had never been here before and Harry is a shit driver, so we got lost. I told him he was an idiot, but there isn’t anything I could do about it. Eventually we tracked down the location and hurried inside.

It wasn’t trendy or exclusive at all. The place a crowded and buzzing with activity. No one gave us a second glace as we made our way to the bar. This is just the kind of night I had been wanting. I just wanted to be anonymous. And so far we were off to a good start.

We tracked down Holly, who was perched at the bar, in a skirt that was much to short for my liking. But the bloke that was chatting her up didn’t seem to mind. She was leaning into him and smiling, obviously playing into whatever he was saying to her. I didn’t realize I was glaring until Harry elbowed me in the ribs. I shook out of my haze and waved in her direction.

Holly caught my eye and leaned away from the guy completely. She waved back with a huge grin on her face. Harry and I moved toward her and she completely dismissed the guy, who slinked away, looking disappointed.

“Damn. What did you say to the poor fellow?” Harry laughed, leaning in to peck her cheek cordially. Holly grinned smugly and shrugged her shoulders.

“You aren’t the only one that has game, Styles.” She retorted, opening her arms for me. I embraced her quickly, pressing a kiss to her warm skin. When we had all said hello we grabbed a booth and settled in.

“How are you, boys? I feel like its been ages!” She said, waving at the waiter.

“It’s been a week.” Harry informed her with a roll of his eyes. Holly frowned at him and he lightened up. We fell into a goof conversation that consisted of a lot of laughing and even more alcohol.

By the time we were done, our cheeks were sore from laughing. Chasing girls was the farthest thing from my mind. Holly made me forget about everything but that moment. There was no pressure and no stress. Just lame jokes and a lot of beer.

We stumbled out of the pub hours later, more drunk on laughter than alcohol. I had an arm wrapped Holly, trying to keep my balance. Harry was behind us somewhere I’m sure. She said something that threw us unto another round of hysterics.

“Jesus, Holly. I’m properly smashed.” I told her, tripping over my own feet.

“Yeah. We should definitely take a cab.” She whispered into my ear. I twitched at the way her hot breath tickled my ear.

I groaned when I heard the all to familiar sound of a shutter going off. The flash filled my vision, thus filling me with irritation. I grabbed Holly’s elbow and led her to the car.

I rolled my eyes, suddenly sober. I had gotten drunk on carelessness and now I had to pay for it. We opened the door and pushed through the wall of photographers that had accumulated. I wrapped Holly into my chest protectively as I guided her towards the car. She allowed me to manhandle her. She stumbled along, confused as we tried to get out of there.

“Sorry.” I told her as I helped her inside. She scooted to the other side to make room for Harry and me. When the door closed we took off quickly.

“It’s okay. I didn’t realize it was that mental. I think I’m blind.” She said in a dazed tone. Harry and I chuckled at her, despite our irritation.

“We thought we could get away with traveling solo. But we aren’t as inconspicuous as we thought.” Harry sighed.

“Must be strange. To be followed everywhere you go.” Holly mused, playing with her hair. She rested her head on my shoulder and I nodded in silent agreement.

“Keep hanging out with us and you’ll know what it feels like.” I warned her.

“Since I’m so interesting.” She said sarcastically. Harry chuckled loudly.

“You are. You are quite a girl.” He said, eyeing her legs.

“Fuck off, Harry. I’m not sleeping with you.” She grumbled, waving hand. Shooting him down with a flick of her wrist. Harry shook his head, but his smile didn’t falter.



“Liam!” I heard a voice call from far away pulling me from my sleep. I grumbled and rolled onto my side, bumping into a warm body. “Liam!” The voice called again.
I opened my eyes in wider, noting that I was in my own room.

“Liam we have a prob-“ Niall said as he burst into the room. I let out a startled cry and instantly looked over at the person I was sharing a bed with. Niall’s nostrils flared and he folded his arms over his chest. I was very grateful I still had my clothes on.

“Who the hell is this?” Niall ask, pointing to the bed. All that was visible was wisps of dark hair. The rest of the person was buried in the sheets.

“You know, I’m not entirely sure.” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. Niall groaned loudly and my hangover hit me like a ton of bricks. I cradled my head in my hands and let out a series of curses that illustrated my pain.

“Ni, did you get him up we have to-“ Marjorie said and stepped into the room. She stopped when she saw me sitting on the bed. “Oh. Sorry. We thought your company might be cleared out by now.” She sniffed distastefully.

“Is there a reason why you guys broke in this morning? I was sleeping.” I told them, massaging my eyes with my fingers.

“First of all, it’s one in the afternoon. Second of all, I’m sure our reason for stopping by is still sleeping.” Marjorie said a little too loudly. I winced and the body next to me started to move.

“Liam? Why in the hell are you up at such an ungodly hour?” Holly complained, sitting up and shoving the blankets away. I laughed in spite of the situation. It was Holly, and we were still dressed. I didn’t have some forgettable hook up last night.

“Thank god it you, Hol!” I breathed a sigh of relief and started to get out of bed. The situation wasn’t as unnerving anymore, now that I knew I didn’t have to go through the whole “morning after” routine with Marj and Niall in the room.

“Thank god we didn’t have sex. I’ve never been so happy to wake up in yesterday’s clothes in my life.” Holly laughed, climbing off the bed after me.

Niall and Marjorie were just staring at us with confused looks. Which seem odd because they were the ones who broke in. I said Marjorie staring at Holly with a strange kind of intensity that made the tension in the room really thick. Holly didn’t seem to notice because she was rifling through my dresser trying to find a clean shirt.

“Are you Liam’s new girlfriend I’ve been hearing about?” Marjorie asked pleasantly. Her smile was a little too wide, she did that when she was uncomfortable.

“If Liam has a girlfriend there’s no way in hell its me.” Holly replied with a smirk. I snorted and shook my head at her. Marj frowned and looked over at me. I shrugged.

“Sorry to interrupt your morning.” Niall apologized in her direction. He grabbed Marjorie’s arm and pulled her out the door. “Liam, can we have a word in the kitchen?”

I sighed and followed them out, leaving Holly alone to change. I came into the kitchen to find Marjorie with her arms crossed and Niall looking angry.

“Is there a problem?” I asked, slightly irritated.

“Yes, Liam. There is a big problem.” Marjorie snapped, throwing a paper at me. I blanched when I looked at the cover. It was some trashy gossip magazine with me on the cover. I was holding Holly close to my chest, and it was evident that we were highly intoxicated. Although I shouldn’t have, I laughed at the photo. In the corner, Harry’s face could be seen and he looked like an idiot. At least I was semi-smiling.

“Is something funny?” Marjorie asked.

“Harry looks like a jackass.” I commented.

“You all look like jackasses. Liam, management is pissed. You can’t keep flaunting your bachelor ways in the papers like that. You keep getting caught with cheap looking girls or drunk off your ass.” Niall told me in a calm voice.

“It’s just a stupid article. Magazines write shit all the time. Why is it such a big deal?” I said, not understanding why they were staging an intervention.

“Because! You’re becoming a partying womanizer who can’t take anything seriously. The papers are having a field day with this.” Marjorie hissed, opening up the paper and showing me an article.

The demise of Daddy Direction is happening quickly. Since ending things with long time girlfriend months ago, Liam Payne has been embracing the single life. A little to happily, maybe? Payne has been seen out in various clubs and pubs with band mate, Harry Styles, more and more often these days. Its been reported that the two almost never leave alone. His latest conquest is London native, Holly Jackson, who has been spotted out with the boys on more than one occasion. Last night, he was seen leaving a pub, very intoxicated and ushering Jackson into a cab. Minutes later, the two were spotted entering his London home together.

“So me and Holly went home together? We didn’t have sex. And why is it so bad that I’m going out. We have all this free time before tour, I can do whatever I want.” I looked up from the paper, not wanting to read anymore.

“You can’t, though. Management is going to have your ass. The fans aren’t too happy either. You should see what people are saying online.” Niall said, running his hands through his hair. “Look, Liam. I’ve been here before, okay? I get it. You just want to have fun. But you can’t. Not when the whole world is watching.”

“So what do you want me to do? Have management find me a girlfriend and lie to the whole world about it?” I said sarcastically, looking between the happy couple.

“Funny.” Marjorie deadpanned.

“I know you guys are trying to help. But don’t. I’m having fun. Harry and me aren’t doing anything illegal. If I want to get wasted and fuck someone I don’t know, I can do whatever the hell I want. Okay?”

“When did you become such a jerk, Liam?” Marjorie asked, her stare burning holes through the back of my skull.

“Since being the nice guy never got me anywhere.” I looked at her for longer than necessary. She bit her lip and frowned at me again, then stalked out of the room. I heard the glorious sound of the front door slamming seconds later.

“What the hell, Liam?” Niall said sounding very frustrated.

“Fuck off, Niall. You already won, all right? Go get Marjorie.” I huffed and brushed past me, following Marjorie out. I decided to go check on Holly. As I was walking out of the kitchen, I nearly ran over Holly, who was crouched right next to the door.

“Can I help you?” I laughed.

“Nope. I was just shamelessly eavesdropping.” She shrugged, standing up right. “Are you ever going to get over that bitch?”

I rolled my eyes at her and avoided answering. She didn’t mention it again the rest of the day.