Love Isn't Always Fair...

~Andy'sPOV~

Fuck, fuck, fuck! This cannot be happening. I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming. I pinch myself. Shit! I'm not dreaming!

"You guys know each other?" My mom looks at me. Know him? Know him! Duh! Of course i do.

"Yeah, we do" I say grimly.

"That is amazing. You two can be best friends"

"Oh my gosh mom! I cannot WAIT to have a play pal!" I say sarcastically.

"Why are you so anti social Andy?"

"Because i want to!" My mom comes up close to me and she puts her mouth to my ear.

"You're a disgrace" I blink back tears and she snarls at me.

"I'm going to my room"

"Oh no you're not. You're staying down here with Adam and Tom and Harry"

"Hahaha. No. I'm not mother!" I make my way to my room.

I walk to the my bedroom and i leave my door open. I could hear my mom and the rest of them talking. I heard Tom going to the front room with Adam. Ugh! My life just gets better and better! I hear Harry and my mom talking.

"Don't worry about Andy Mommy"

"I just wish he was like you Harry. You're such an angel where as Andy, he is just a disgrace to this family."

"I agree mommy"

"Sometimes, i wish he was never born..." I look to the floor. My mom hates me. I mean, yeah, i knew she wasn't keen on me, but HATE! She HATES me! She wished that i was never born. I'm a disgrace to them...

I wipe away the tears that have fallen and i go to the bathroom. I look around and i see Harry's shaving razors. I swallow a lump in my throat. Before i knew it, my legs were carrying my body over to the razors. One half of my brain was saying; 'don't do it' But the other half was saying; 'you need this, it's the best thing to do. If you cannot punish or hurt them, punish and hurt yourself' I grab a new, sharp razor and i pulled my sleeve up.

My brain was fighting against each other. 'You need this Andy. They hate you. They want you dead. Look around. You're a nobody, nobody loves you. They'd prefer it if was dead, gone and buried 6 feet under the ground. You're worthless. If you cannot hurt them, hurt yourself. You know how much you want this Andy. It's what they ALL want!' The voices in my head was true. 'Let the blood from your veins drip down your arm. Let the cuts scar. A reminder of your family. A reminder of how worthless you are. A reminder of how much your family hates you, how much they want you DEAD!'

I blink back tears and i was to busy listening to the voices in my head that i didn't realise that i had cut my arm 6 times. This is the first time that i've cut myself and boy did it feel good. I felt better with myself. The voices in my head were gone. I didn't feel guilty for doing it, i felt better. Then, someone popped into my mind.

Ashley...

I look at my arm, which was covered in my crimson red blood. Ashley will never love me now. Who cares. I'm worthless. Nobody wants me. Nobody will ever love me. I do one finally cut and i watch the blood pour out. I wash my arm under the tap, hissing in pain as the water touched my fresh cuts. I grab some tissue and i dab them dry. I pull my sleeve down and i take the razor to my room. I hide it in a box and i put the box under my bed. No one will look under there.

I hear the door bell go and my mom walking up to it. I hear voice and the door closing. I then hear Tom talking to our new guest. Why does he have to be here!

I decided to go down, to show my face at least. I slowly make my way to the living room and i stop, dead in my tracks.

What was Ashley doing here!

I look at Harry, Ashley and Tom. All sat down on one chair, Ashley was in the middle of Tom and Harry. I go and sit down on a separate chair, with my feet up.

"Hey look. It's fag" Harry laughs.

"Funny Tom. Very funny" I roll my eyes. Tom comes up to me.

"On Monday, me and you are gunna fight. You ready for that!" I shrug my shoulders.

"Lets just hope that you're as good at beating people up" He snarls at me and joins the rest of the 'group'

"Hey Ashley. Fancy beating him up with me?" I look at Ashley and he looks back at me and swallows.

"Ummm, i'm not to sure"

"Why? You scared or something?"

"No. It's just.."

"Hey Harry. Ashley is scared!!" They both end up laughing and i shake my head at Ashley as i look away.

"So Ashley. What do you say?"

"Umm. Okay" My heart sank as i heard that he had agreed with Tom. Harry just laughed at the whole thing. Some brother he turned out to be. I swallow back tears and i dig my nails into my arm. Harry and Tom go out together to play football but Ashley stayed with me.

"Andy..." I heard him coming up to me. He sit's next to me and i shuffle away from him. I quickly wipe away tears. I am not going to cry. I am strong, not weak.

"Andy, please..."

"Piss off Ashley!" I hiss at him.

"Andy, i-"

"Save it Ashley!" I look at him as my eyes fill with tears.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm perfectly fine! My family HATE me! I'm gunna get beat up on Monday. Oh and guess who's agreed with that!" I glare at him.

"I'm sorry. I had to agree with him"

"NO ASHLEY! You didn't HAVE to agree. You could have made up an excuse or something!" By now tears were flowing from my eyes. One of them dropped on my sleeve and it soaked threw to my cut. I hiss in pain and i hold my arm.

"I did Andy! Otherwise, he would have beaten me up!"

"Oh, okay! And THIS is what you call friends?!"

"No but.."

"There you go then. I was right all this time. You're an outcast. You want to be yourself without being judged by people"

"That's not true!"

"See there you go! You're denying it again! I know that you do Ashley. I can fucking tell!"

"Stop thinking that you know me Andy!" He starts to fidget in his spot. I move closer to him and i take his hand. He doesn't pull away, he just holds my hand, tighter. His eyes fix on mine.

"You need to stop living like this! You need to find friends that like you, for who you are because sooner rather than later, they would have brainwashed you and will become one of them. Forever being a thug! Is that what you want?!"

"No" He looks to the floor. I cup his chin.

"Then find some friends that like you for who you are"

"How?" I shrug my shoulders.

"I dunno"

"Haha. Thanks Andy" I shrug my shoulders and i go to sit back, but Ashley pulls me closer to him by my hands. He glances at my lips and i swallow. What was he doing? He leans in closer to me and i lean in to. Just as we were about to kiss, Harry and Tom come bursting threw the door. Me and Ashley pull away from each other quickly. I breath heavily and Ashley looked dazed.

"Hey Fag! Dinner is ready!" I look at Harry and i glare at him. Great, food...

Ashley looks at me.

"Does he always call you that?"

"Call me what?"

"Fag?"

"Yes and it hurts"

"What?"

"Nothing..."

"Hey Andy"

"What?" I look at him.

"About before, when we almost kissed"

"Mmmmm."

"I don't know what came over me"

"Don't worry about it" I smile at him.

"Don't tell Tom. He'll kill me" I sigh and look away.

"Okay, whatever" We make our way to the dinner table and i see that my mom was flirting like a little whore. Adam was loving it. His hand made it's way up my moms leg and it vanished under her skirt. I clear my throat.

"Andy. I see you have finally come down from your bedroom" She glares at me.

"You don't say!!"

"Don't use that tone with me young man"

"Whatever mom"

"Eat your dinner" Harry kicks my shin under the table. I bite my bottom lip to stop a yelpof pain. He laughs at me and carries on eating his dinner.

"You know what mom. I'm not hungry" I push away my plate.

"You mush be hungry. You've hardly eaten" I see that Ashley had a worried look on his face.

"And your point is?"

"Just fucking eat it Andy"

"NO! I refuse to!"

"ANDY! Why can you not appreciate things in life. Just like Harry" She cooes over Harry and i sigh and blink back tears.

"You know what mom, i really don't care no more" I stand up and i make my way to my bedroom. I close my door and i bury my face in my pillow and i let tears flow from my eyes.

After an hour or so of crying, i wipe my face on the back of my sleeve.

I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in" I look to see who it was and it was Ashley.

"What do you want?" He sits on my bed and i sit up.

"Just to talk. Tom and Harry are being idiots"

"Oh"

"I'm sorry about the other day"

"What about the other day?"

"When i snapped at you. You was right. I am an outcast. I do want friends that are like me, that will not judge me because of what i wear and the music i listen to" He looks at his hands and i move closer to him. I hold both of his hands and he looks at me.

"I want to be like you Andy" Okay, i was shocked when he said that.

"No, you don't Ashley"

"I do. You don't care what other people think and i find that awesome"

"Just because i don't care what other people think, doesn't mean that it doesn't get to me"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing"

"But.."

"Just drop it Ashley"

"Okay" I sigh and i let go of his hands.

"Hey, i was thinking, would you like to hang sometime?"

"Sure. When?"

"Maybe tomorrow?"

"Umm, okay. That would be good."

"HEY ASHLEY. WE'RE GOING NOW" I cringe at the sound of Tom's voice.

"I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow. Hey, here is my number." He hands me a piece of paper with his number on.

"Call me if you need anything, like a chat or advice" He smiles at me and i smile back at him. He makes he way downstairs and i lie back on my bed, looking at Ashley number.

Maybe my life is turning out to be good after all...