Hidden Habit

Louis and Edward pull up to Harry's house and turn to each other, giving similar looks, hoping for the best as well. They both get out and round the car, going to the boot and taking out Edwards bags, each boy carrying one with a fair amount of ease.
"Louis, are we going to talk to him about all this today?" Louis can hear the apprehension in Edwards voice.

"No. We'll wait and see how he does with you here today and if he talks to you tonight or something, maybe we can go easier, but if not… tomorrow night probably."

"Okay. That sounds alright." Louis gives him a reassuring nod and motions for him to follow him up to Harry's door.

"Stay behind the wall here, I want to surprise him." Louis' eyes glint with excitement and all Edward can do is smile and bite back a laugh.

Louis knocks and waits for Harry to answer, something he rarely does, but figures since he left out of the blue earlier, he'd be extremely unexpected.

"Lou? What are you doing here? Why did you leave?" Louis' smile almost drops when he hears his voice, like he's trying to swallow the emotions he's feeling.

"I'm sorry for leaving, I should've told you where I was going… but I brought you something, and I couldn't really get it without leaving." Harry's expression changes drastically as he watches Louis' face, his smile growing and eyes brightening up.

"What are you on about?" Louis smiles, the annoyance in his voice is so unconvincing it's almost laughable.

"Just go inside and I'll bring it to you okay? And close your eyes!" Harry just rolls his eyes but does what he's told, scuttling into the house, trying to act sulky despite his bubbling excitement.

Louis carefully grabs the luggage of Edwards and carries it inside, placing it quietly on the floor of the sitting room and motions for Edward to come in.

"Okay Haz, close your eyes tight and hold out your hands." And Harry does, squeezing his eyes shut to hard little designs appear, and careful extends is arms and holds his hands out.

"C'mon Lou, what is it?" Harry whines and makes and impatient sound, making Louis laugh and pull Edward closer, placing him right in front of Harry's hands.

"It's right in front of you, take a step closer, but keep your eyes closed." Edward is smiling like crazy, watching Harry's impatient face and hesitant step forward.

Harry finally touches Edward and he doesn't even have to open his eyes to know who it is, he could smell his cologne already, but his eyes shoot open and his arms wrap around his brother like he hasn't seen him in seven years.

"Edward." Harry chokes out, trying to control his breathing and emotions but he's failing so miserably it's almost upsetting him.

Louis just watches the two, Harry looks like he's about to crumble into a million pieces or cry hysterically at al any moment and Edward is his solid rock, holding him upright and whispering to him the only way a brother would know how.

"It's okay Harry, it's alright, just calm down. I've got you, just breathe for me, nice and slow." Louis can't believe how Harry immediately changed when he realized Edward was there, how he obeys everything he says, slowing his breathing down and doing his best to calm down.

"I miss you." Louis barely caught the words as Harry said them, choked them out as best as he could.
"I know. But I'm here now." Harry just nods into his brothers shoulder, a small whimpering sound making it's way past his lips.
"Harry, wanna let me go?" Edward laughs lightly and moves his hands to cover Harry's where they've gripped around his waist so tight his knuckles turned white.
Harry nods shyly and mutters a quiet 'sorry' as he lets go and hangs his head a bit, embarrassed and hoping to hide his wet cheeks from both boys.

It takes Edward lifting his head up for him to look at his face, and yet he still tries to avoid his eyes.
"Hazza, look at me." And Louis just stands by, so unable to look away from this new version of Harry it's almost scary.
Harry lets out a puff of air from his nose and his face shifts into a little pout as he looks at his brother.
"You alright now?" Harry nods and adds a quiet 'yeah.'
"Okay. …Love you." Edward smiles at him nicely, searching to get Harry to smile too.
"Love you too." Harry smiles softly before moving to press his lips against Edwards lightly. The whole exchange takes Louis off guard, he's never actually seen Harry kiss anybody, not on the mouth, and definitely never a person of the same gender. However it wasn't gross or unsettling, it was the kind of kiss you give your mum when you're really young and don't really know what kissing could lead to. And by the way the two identical boys went about it, it wasn't anything more, it wasn't sexual or hinting to anything, it was just a soft peck, comforting and confirming that Harry was okay.

Once the two brothers broke away from each other Harry was smiling his goofy overly happy smile that rarely ever graced his face and Louis couldn't help but smile back at the sight and warmth the filled his heart.
"So, am I forgiven for leaving unannounced then?" Louis asks, a little smirk on his lips.
Harry kind of laughs, more airy than anything and moves to Louis, wrapping him up in a hug and Louis lets Harry's long arms squeeze him tight and hold him close, enjoying the proximity and warmth of Harry's taller body.

Harry being taller and bigger in nearly every way was quite odd for Louis, for a good amount of time he was the bigger one, older, stronger, had more control, but it seemed that Harry went through more than one puberty and sprouted up in height and broadened out, voice getting deeper and deeper. It was weird to look at photos of Harry and him during X Factor, they had changed so much and sometimes he forgets that Harry hasn't always been towering over him or tripping over his feet that still seem a bit to big for his body.
Although Harry's grown into the tall, lean, broad shouldered, charmer, Louis still catches him in moments where he's the small, soft faced, boy he knew at X Factor, when all of his features seemed too big for him, his big green eyes and a smile that took up nearly half of his face.

"So, what would you like to do tonight, Hazza?" Louis took note of how softly Edward spoke to his brother, like he had to make soft suggestions, speak soft and easy for Harry to understand it all better, and Louis never really took note of how differently Edward treated his brother, not until now.

"I'd like to go to the cinema? …can we go?" The hesitance in Harry's voice was so unlike him and Louis was just so unbelieving of the change in him, the way he had seemingly curled into himself, he seemed smaller, younger. He wasn't the Harry he'd always known, he was the shadow of what he'd only see glimpses of, there was no false image there anymore, just Harry… the way he'd always been. He'd unraveled and become unable to keep up the image he'd set for himself at X Factor, everything was a bit too much now. He was too alone, Louis didn't live with him anymore, he didn't have his brother by his side everyday. He was lost, no one was showing him where to go anymore, they just expected him to know things and do them and be a certain way. He was sad again, he tried to keep seeing Louis and keep letting him make everything better, but he knew that once their days were over and the photoshoots were all done, they'd go to different homes and sleep miles away and wake up alone, and he hated that and it was starting to over power the great way Louis made him feel, the way Louis had always made him better, he just wanted to have him like he did before, when they were together everyday and night and Louis showed him where to go… he wanted that back.

"Of course we can go. Which movie do you want to see?"
"Umm, I went to a film with Grimmy, and.. and I didn't get to see it all, can we go to that one?" Harry picked at his fingers whilst he asked, feeling a little insecure for unknown reasons.
The truth of why he wanted to see the movie wasn't a happy truth. He'd seen the good part of the film, the funny part, that's what Grimmy had told him. He'd also told him what happened to the boy in the film at the end, what he'd discovered about his Aunt Hellen and what was done to him when he was young and he was awfully distraught over it, trying his best to fight back tears, he hated that something so bad happened to the boy, he had to know that it ended okay, he wanted to know that the boy in the film was going to be alright… even if it was just a movie.

"Yeah, we can go. Do you want to see if the other guys want to come too?" Harry just nodded at his brother, he'd like it if everyone could go.

Harry took Edwards bags to his own bedroom, despite having several extra rooms in the house, he didn't want to be alone tonight, not if he didn't have to be.
Edward stayed in the living room area with Louis, who was still trying to sort out this new side of Harry, his best friend of two years.

Edward caught the way Louis watched Harry leave, the curiosity obvious in his facial expression.
"So… this is what he was like before, isn't it?" Louis turned to Edward and spoke quietly, as to not let Harry over hear.
"Yeah, I haven't seen him like this in years… well, aside from some holidays when he'd come back home. I don't know what's happened, I don't know why he's acting this way again. It's hard to get things out of him sometimes, he's got to want to tell you. …I can usually get him to talk, but he seems bad again, so I don't want to rush into it or anything, he'll shut down and pretend he can't hear me, he used to do that when we were really young, he'd do it to our mum when he was mad at her. ..Drove her nuts." Louis could've guessed what being 'bad again' meant, it wasn't much of a mystery in how different Harry was acting.

"Can we go now?" Harry asked as he walked back into the living room.
"Yeah, we can. Grab your coat." Harry did so quickly, slipping his arms in the arm holes and buttoning it up, taking his time in that, he was always afraid of the buttons popping off, and Edward knew this as well, and he'd do the same, because Harry would always eye him worriedly if he went to fast.

The boys stopped at Zayn's house and picked up Liam and then dropped by Niall's to pick him up and they all went to the cinema to see the movie that Harry had already partly watched.
Edward bought a soda for Harry and that had him smiling all the way into the theater. They found their seats, the entire place was nearly deserted as the movie had been running for longer than usual and anyone who'd wanted to see it already had.
Louis and Edward sat at Harry's sides, and then it was Liam, Niall and Zayn.
Once the film started all the boys' quieted down and watched the big projector, Harry being the most focused on it, he needed to know how it all went together, to see if there were any hints as to what happened to the boy all those years ago, some kind of forewarning or hint for him to latch onto and help him prepare himself for the sad truth of the ending.

Edward watched his brother as he stared intently at the screen, trying to figure out what had happened to make him revert into his old self.
He watched as Harry's eyes softened and grew a bit sadder as the film went on, and the way his fingers clutched at his arm rest, and he clued into there being a reason Harry chose to see this movie again, or finish it. There was something that he had to figure out about it, there was something bothering him about it.
Edward slipped his hand over Harry's, waiting for Harry's grip to relax, which it did, almost instantly and he looked over at his brother, confused and sad looking, and it broke Edward's heart, to see him this way again.
Harry quickly looked away and refocused on the film, holding his brother's hand this time, moving his fingers between Edwards and holding on tightly.

As the film progressed Edward kept watch on his brother, saw the silent tears that escaped when the boy talked about his friend that died only months ago, and went the girl told him she was raped by her dad's boss, and when the boy in the film got 'bad again' and Harry held onto Edwards hand a bit tighter through those parts.

Harry started slowly falling apart as the screen flicked new scenes in front of him, more bad, more sad, more of the truth he didn't want to know, but had to sit through to get to the end. He hated that this movie wasn't happy like the beginning, he wanted a happy ending, to know that everything would be okay for the boy again.
He finally broke when the boy ended up in the hospital again, when he was 'bad again' and he needed to be taken care of, because that was Harry's biggest fear, that there really was something wrong with himself and that no one wanted to really tell him that he needed help, that he wasn't okay or normal or going to alright in the end.
And he cried, but tried not to, but couldn't stop it, he was too sad, to upset at this movie that lied to him about everything being okay again. He squeezed his brother's hand and stopped fighting it all, and Edward had to force Harry to stop looking at the movie.

"Harry, look at me, tell me what's wrong, you've got to tell me." Harry couldn't talk, he just couldn't, so he cried a little harder.
"Okay, it's going to be alright, just look at me, breathe for me. Can you do that? Breathe slow, in and out." Harry listened to his brother, trying his best to calm himself down, because this was bad, it was too much.
"C'mon, I'm gonna get you out of here." Edward lifted Harry up from his seat and guided him out of the row of chairs, signaling for the other boys not to follow him.

"Harry, it's just a movie, it's not real… tell me why you're so upset, can you do that for me, please?" Edward held Harry's face in his hands, wiping his tears away with his thumbs as they slid down his cheeks.
"I just… umm… I needed to know… -I needed to know that he would be okay, and… and he's not, he's not okay and I'm not… I'm not okay either." Harry hiccuped as he finished and turned into the soft touch of Edwards hand.

"What do you mean you're not okay? What happened, babe?" Harry sniffled a little before answering.
"I'm not okay… I'm trying to be, but it hurts. It's heavy again, like it used to be. And Louis…"
"What about Louis? Did he do something?"
"He moved… he moved away and he's not there anymore." Harry let some tears slip again, trying not to let the sobbing start again.
"But you still see him everyday, Haz… he's still there."
"It's not the same, I'm not okay when he goes away to his house… I'm not okay without him, Edward, I'm not."
"Is that what this is all about, Harry? Is Louis the reason you changed?" Harry just nods, because yes, it was, it always was.
"I thought so. How do you feel about Louis?