Kissing in Cars

I couldn't believe it. Why would my boyfriend and my best friend fight, especially physically? They knew, they fucking knew I hated violence and all that. And I couldn't believe how broken Vic looked, from both me and Matty. The pain on his face was immeasurable and I felt like such a shit person for causing it, after all he was the person who always takes care of me. 
And I can't believe I told him hated him. How could I do that? He looked far worse than Matty did too... 
And Matty, I suddenly can't help but feel worried about what he's capable of. He beat Vic then potentially lied to me. Who knows what else he may do... 
But he makes me so happy. I guess I should give him a little longer, if anything seems off then I'll break it off. If not, no need to end a good thing early.
As for the problem of which story to trust, I should just ask Mike or preferably Tony or Jaime. I just need to know what really happened, and how Vic is. I think I'll probably call Tony and ask him. He won't lie period.
"Kellin?" My mom calls, breaking my train of thought. 
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to take the boys over to Gram's house then go to the shop. I'll be back around 8:30 9ish probably. Behave and no parties, okay?"
"Yup yup!" I answered, hiding my emotions so she wouldn't come up and ask about it before she left. She does that a lot and it drives me insane. I sat in my room for a bit until I heard the door open then close downstairs. 
I pushed off my bed and walked quietly to my door, creaking I open and slipping out. I ran down the stairs and turned around into the kitchen. 
After much rummaging through random packets of food, I settled on having a simple grilled cheese sandwich. I pulle out my phone whilst making it, figuring I could talk to Tony while I cooked.
"Hey there!" I greeted him cheerfully when he picked up the phone.
"Hey Kellin, what's up?" Tony replied semi-hesitantly. He probably thinks I'm gonna yell at him for earlier.
"I was just wondering I'd you could set the story straight for me about what happened today? I don't want to be unfairly mad at either of them. So just start from the beginning, yeah?" 
"Okay," He sighed, and I swear I heard. Hi mumble under his breath "here goes his last hope".
"So it started that Vic went in to get food and ended up serif Matty. He decided why not talk to him slightly about you two, because we all think its a bad dangerous idea, and so he did. But see Matty and Vic have a past together and it's not very pretty. So when he went to talk to him, all Matty did was bring up shit to hurt him. Vic got mad, challenged him to a fight, they showed up and then fought a bit then you came. But please don't hate Vic for this Kellin. Please don't!" Tony begged from the other end. I shrugged at the phone ten spoke up.
"I don't know how I feel Tony. I gotta go, talk to you later," I promised him, hanging up quickly.
Matty lied and Vic challenged him. I can't believe either of them, they just no. I'm so fucking disappointed and bloody rocking mad. Matty lied to me, Vic didn't. Vic started the fight, Matty merely agreed. 
I just can't face either of them. I guess I don't know. 
To Vic and Matty: I'm taking a break from you both to sort out my mind. When I know what I'm feeling I'll start talking to you again. Don't push me please.
I feel like my heads going to explode. Should I even be mad at Vic? He was just trying to protect me from who he thinks to be mean. He does have anger issues, I'm aware of that. But still, he's gotten so much better so why the downfall? Was he fight over me or the past?
And Matty. Matty lied to me, how can I trust him after that? How can I believe he won't lie to me again? How can I trust that he's as good as he says he is? I can't. I don't know if I should continue this relationship if I feel I can't trust him. And if he was beating Vic so bad, who's to say he won't do the same to me? But then again, he really is so sweet to me. He's even careful when we cuddle.
I have no clue what to think. Do I forgive them both? Only one? Neither? What should I do??
I'm pulled out of my thoughts when the smell of burning bread fills my nose and I realize my grilled cheese is burning. Just like my mind.