Kissing in Cars

TRIGGER WARNING! THIS CHAPTER COTAINS DISCUSSION ON RAPE AND OTHER MATTERS WHICH SOME MAY FIND TRIGGERING! PLEASE DO NOT READ IF IT WILL UPSET YOU TO MUCH. AND PLEASE READ THE BEGINNING OF AUTHOURS NOTE IN CAPS IT IS IMPORTANT.
Carry on

“Vic, stop okay. He’ll be fine, he’ll wake up soon. Roofies usually takes about 8-24 hours to wear off and its been 11. I’m sure he’ll be up soon.” Mrs. Perry scolded me after another mini freak out. Over the past 11 hours I hadn’t been able to really do anything but watch over Kellin and call to Mrs. Perry when I was worried about what he was doing. 
“Okay, if you say so. Is there anything I should keep an eye out for until you get back? or anything I should do once he does wake up?” I continued even though she had already told me there was nothing to do. Mrs. Perry didn’t answer, only shook her head and walked to the door.
“Okay boy,” She said loudly so everyone would hear no matter where they were. “I’m heading off to work, all of you keep an eye on each other and don’t be stupid. I’ll be home at midnight. You’re all cleared to stay over tonight by the way.” A chorus of okays sounded from around and she left. 
“Vic, come play Xbox with us for a bit,” Mike orders, appearing in the doorway to Tony’s room. 
“Fine, just one round,” I give in. They’d been asking me for the past 10 hours to come play with them and usually I just ignored them but Kellin still hasn’t woken up and I needed to relax a bit. 
“Good, we’re playing rock band by the way, you’re singing!” Mike decided. Not surprising, that was the usual line up in our rock band, both for the game and when we felt like messing around. 
“What songs are we doing?”
“London Calling, Living On A Prayer, First Date, and Carry On My Wayward Son,” Jaime listed as he handed me the mic.
“Don’t they have any new songs?” 
“Nope. Now sing,” Tony ordered as London Calling began. I did as I was told and sang through the playlist, then continued on getting unnecessarily involved in the game.
“What songs this time?”
“One Way or Another?”
“I’m not singing Blondie. No way.”
“You could match her pitch though it’d be perfect,” Mike smirked. 
“Yeah and if I kick your balls hard enough you could too,” I snapped playfully. I’d always been teased about my voice but I didn’t actually care, it was what it was and I was content with it.
“Whatever. How about we take a break and get pizza? I’m hungry,” Mike told us, standing up and heading to the door.
“Well don’t wait for our consent then,” Tony muttered. Mike shrugged in response and continued out the door. We all followed Mike through the living room into the kitchen, except I naturally stopped to check on Kellin. 
“Hey bud, you awake yet?” I asked quietly. I didn’t expect an answer but was more than happy when he nodded.
“Guys! Kellin is awake!” I called only to make Kellin shy away.
“To loud Vic, jesus,” He groaned. I rolled my eyes and waited for Tony, Jaime, and Mike to come over.
“Kellin man hey how are you feeling?” Tony whispered first. Kellin squinted at him for a moment and sighed.
“Confused, I’ve got a pounding headache, the light is to bright for me, and I don’t remember anything about last night except I went to a party with Matty and its all fuzzy from there. What is this, the hangover?” He tried to joke, reciving no laughter naturally. Tony at least tried, releasing a small chuckle.
“I wish. Anyways we were just about to order pizza, want some?” Tony offered Kellin to which he nodded yes enthusiastically. 
“Sounds good, I’ll order it. You guys stay here and try not to be to loud.” Tony orders us. It wasn’t a problem though, we all wanted to talk to Kellin anyways.
It was around 7 o’clock and we had finished yet anther round of Rock Band when Kellin got an uneasy look on his face. The smile he had been wearing began melting away, replaced with evident panic. 
"Vic, last night... What happened?" He asked, his voice wavering. Obviously he had some idea and all I wanted to do was tell him it wasn't true, but I couldn't lie to him about this.
"Hey guys, how about we go do that thing?" Mike spoke up, leaving the room with Tony and Jaime behind him.
"A lot that I don't know happened, but what I do know is last night around 2 or 3 you called me saying that you thought,"
"I thoug Matty drugged me," Kellin interjected. I nodded reluctantly as his entire form crumbled.
"Do you remember much?"
"Barley. It's hazy. I remember getting suddenly sleepy and I remember looking myself in the bathroom. I also remember hearing Matty and Craig talking, I don't remember what. And I remember going back to the room..."
"They were talking?"
"Yeah when we first got there. I remember him saying something that unnerved me but don't remember what. I don't care about that, but why? Why did I go back to Matty?" Kellin questioned, looking completely devastated at his choice.
"I don't Kels, but you have to remember you were drugged, barely knew what was going on. Do you even remember our conversation?"
"I remember thanking god you picked up and that's all."
"Then who knows. Maybe you thought he wasn't going to try anything or,"
"I thought he'd hit me." Kellin spoke up quickly but quietly, the words making my stomach drop instantly.
"You what?"
"I remember thanking god you picked up then thinking about being hit."
"Has he...has he hit you before?" Kellin wilted, a look of shame on his face.
"He hit me and he hit you and I stayed with him and went back to the room," Kellin mumbled quietly, staring at his jeans. "What is fucking wrong with me? Why would I do that?"
"Because you didn't think he'd do it again. You trusted him because that's what boyfriends are supposed to do."
"Oh yeah! Because its logical to trust someone who beat the shit out of your best friend and hit you, right?" Kellin cried angrily. I reached my hand out and gently rested it on his back.
"Kellin, shush. This isn't your fault,"
"Not my fault? What isn't my fault? Everything is my fault. We stopped talking because of me, Matty hit you because of me, hit me cuz of me, and raped me because I wouldn't put out consciously!"
"Kellin no! It's really not your fault, it's his fault he's a bastard. Also, he didn't fully rape you we stopped him," I attempted to comfort. Kellin had turned into an angry ball of tears and was shying away from me, backing against the wall. It killed me watching him look at me with bloodshot eyes as though I wasn't even there.
"Doesn't matter, he still almost succeeded because I'm a dumb fuck. And no, I should have broken up with him after he hit you, before even. I should have trusted you," He argued. "Everything is my fault. I wish I could make this all go away, but I'm stuck with it. All because I can't stand to believe anyone but my thoughts."
"Kels, come here." I sighed, opening my arms to him. For a second he stared at me, looking half terrified, but eventually came over and let me wrap my arms around him. I pulled him closer to me, trying to stop his shaking, and rested his head under my chin.
"Kellin I want you to listen to me. Matty is fucked up. Nothing that he has done was okay. You're an amazing, intelligent, wonderful person and just because Matty was a shit person doesn't mean you should let yourself believe you are. And please don't let this bring you back down. I'm still here for you, I still love you. Everyone still loves you and will still be here for you. Except Matty, he's going to go to fucking prison."
"Vic how can you even stand me? I'm such a fuck up and all you do is take care of me and clean up my fucking messes. "
"Sure I guess I've done that, but it doesn't make a difference to me. I love you Kellin and I don't care what happens. You're my best friend," I promised him. 
"I'm not okay though. I still don't believe this isn't my fault."
"And maybe that will take a while to understand that. But I promise you your mom and Ms. Perry have already began looking for therapists to help you."
"I just want it to be over, I want to be okay," Kellin whimpered, his voice raw from crying. 
"And it will be, I promise Darling, you'll be okay," I kissed the top of his head and hugged him tight again. It killed me hearing how upset he was.
"Vic, why isn't my mom here?"
"She was to upset, she couldn't handle seeing you passed out still. We're taking you home tomorrow. She came over quite a bit though. Also she felt it be better for you to only be with us really, ya know?"
"Yeah." Kellin mumbled. 
"Thanks Vic, for talking to me about this. Promise you'll help me through?" 
"I swear it on my life Kellin, you're beer going to be alone in this. I'll be with you through it all, I swear." I assured him. Kellin hugged me back this time, mumbling quietly that he was tired and would like to sleep.
"Okay, I'll let the boys know. Night Kellin, sleep well," I said as I tucked him in like a little kid, kissing his forehead again. I left the room, flipping off the switch, and headed straight to everyone else. As soon as in stepped into the kitchen tears began streaming down my face. Mike quickly enveloped me into a hug, followed by everyone else.
"He doesn't deserve this. He hates himself now," I sobbed quietly. 
"There's nothing we can do now, but don't worry. We'll help him feel better. Once he realizes how much everyone loves him still it will help and although it will take a while he'll get better," Tony swore to me.
"We've got your back, we'll do anything we can to help you." 
"And Vic, this isn't your fault." Mike told me, deadly serious. It was though, I should have gotten there sooner, fought harder, or even just kept talking to Kellin no matter what. And now here he was, broken, all because i was weak.