Kissing in Cars

"That dinner was amazing, Mama Fuentes, thank you so much," Kellin grinned at my mom. Her face was practically glowing with the compliments she had gotten. Mama only made enchiladas on special occasions and I must say, this was probably the best batch she's made in at least 2 years.
"They really were amazing mama. I wish you would make them more often," I suggested with a wink. Mama merely laughed and waved me off. Mike coughed the end of the table, probably choking on his 4th enchilada, then let out a little laugh.
"What?" Everyone asked simultaneously, confused by his random little outburst.
"Nothing I just I imagined how fat I would get if you made them more often and then imagined Vic rolling me to the dinner table and to school and I just it made me laugh," Mike wheezed, as his laughter continued. Kels and I chuckled a bit but my parents just kinda a stared at him, a look of confusion coming over my dad's face.
"How the hell are you passing school?" He asked, straight faced. Mike's laughter continued but his faced changed to one of embarrassment. It didn't last long though, my dad ended up joining in on his laughter and giving away his facade of disappointment to a look of entertainment. Eventually we all calmed down, some taking longer than others, then after a while Kellin gave me the look, telling me he wanted to be excused. It was look we had perfected, used in situations like this where we wished to go but didn't want to say it.
"So I think we are going to head back to my room," I announced, motioning to Kellin and myself, "Make sure Mike doesn't fatten himself up to much."
"No one can stop me!" Mike yelled, scooping up another bite. I laughed at him as I lead Kels to my room, excited to get away from my family. We had been hanging out with them for the past 2 hours when really all I wanted to do was talk with Kels.
Once we got into my room we both collapsed onto out respective seats. I fell onto my bed, the old springs groaning quietly in protest, and Kels onto my desk chair. I sighed happily and turned myself to look at him. I watched him fiddle with his black hair, big eyes following his hands movements and lips pressed out in a frown. He pushed his fringe behind his ears and watched it fall back in front of his face. He repeated the action twice more then gave up, turning to look at me. I was amazed at how tired he looked, how unhappy, and found myself wanting to hold him until he could forget everything that happened.
"Kellin, come here," I requested, sitting up and making room beside me. He sighed but got up and walked over. He sat beside me and I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly to me.
"I'm so glad you're done with Matty and I'm so glad you're here now and I promise things will get better," I sobbed, grasping him tightly. Kellin's shoulders shook slightly and he wrapped his arms around me as well, leaning his head into my neck. His crying became louder, more noticeable, and I let go for a second, running over to my speakers and turning on a random CD. I made my way back to my bed and sat down, pulling him into my arms again. Kellin's tears came so heavily that I felt the shoulder of my shirt grow wet, not that I really cared. We sat like that for a few minutes, then I moved us around so we were laying down, him pressed against me. I kept one arm around him and the other under my head as a prop. I kissed his head occasionally and just let him cry, trying to comfort him as much as possible.
After a bit I began to worry though, it seemed like he had been crying for 20 minutes or more and though that may be usual alone, it wasn't normal when he was around me.
"Kels, is something else wrong? Do you want to talk about it?" I asked him quietly, pressing my lips to the top of his head again for comfort. He sniffled a bit, trying to control the tears, then answered.
"There is so much Vic. Today, today I had therapy for the first time and it was horrible."
"Oh, what happened? Was he mean?"
"Not at all, he was nice and kind and relaxed. I wasn't though, I freaked out and was a crying mess. I had a panic attack at the idea of being alone with him and I cried the whole time. And it's not the first time I've had that urge, it happens all the time at school. The locker rooms are the worst, I feel like everyone is judging me and whenever anyone looks at me, all I can think of is how he looked at me when I first went into the room and how he looked at me when I went back. I felt like a piece of meat, like whatever happened was supposed to and it was my fault if I didn't like it or if anything happened. I wanted to die when I went back but I did it because I was worried I would die if I didn't. Now, I wish I could die without letting people down. I feel pathetic and worthless and used stupid. I should never have gone out with him. He isn't even who I liked!" Kellin admitted, letting me in completely before falling back into a well of tears. I was crying harder now, knowing how he felt, and began to shower him with every possible comforting thought I had.
"Kellin I am so sorry, I am so so sorry, please don't ever feel worthless you mean so much to so many people. I can't imagine living without you, I love you so much and I don't ever want you to think that you're stupid or worthless or pathetic! Because you aren't okay, I love you and Tony loves you and Jaime loves you and Mike loves you and so many people love you okay I'm so sorry you feel like this," I held him tightly, kissing his head and his forehead and whispering other kind words to him. Kellin held me back just as tight and buried his head into my chest, trying not to fall apart any further.
Neither of us could stop our tears though, and mine kept falling faster as I watched the king of my world collapse in front of me. I clung to him like if I let go, he'd fall to pieces. But I was pretty sure he would. We remained like that for an hour or two, trying to help will his pain for away.
After a bit, we had finally calmed down a bit and managed to stop crying for the most part, though my heart continued to beat like a drum, slamming against my chest with the excitement of our close proximity.
"Vic, I need to tell you something, and it may seem like a bad time but I need to say it," Kellin announced, his voice wavering and eyes shiny with tears.
"What is it? I asked, my heart taking off at an even faster pace. Anxiety caught my breath and I let myself stop breathing as I waited for the question or confession.