Don't Waste Your Time on Me.

Jack

"Fucking hell, Daniel." I muttered, running a hand through my hair.

It's been four days since Alex's accident. Four days in which I had rarely left his side which meant that it has been four days since I last went to work. It was fairly easy for me to call in sick, I just had to tell Judy that something happened and I really needed the days off (which wasn't even a lie), so I didn't feel bad at all when I left the hospital on Tuesday morning after successfully sneaking out of Alex's room without waking him up and bumping into his mother. See the deal was that Alex still hadn't told his mother that he was bisexual and to be completely I didn't see that changing in the near future. It hurt that Alex chose to keep our relationship a secret while I told my family practically everything that had happened with me and Alex, but it was his decision and I wasn't going to force him to do anything he didn't want to. Of course I'd love to meet his mother, like officially meet his mother as Alex's boyfriend, she seemed like a nice enough lady, but whatever kept him from telling her must've been a good enough reason, therefore I decided that I wouldn't press the topic.

"Pick up your god forsaken phone, douchebag." I groaned, exasperately throwing my hands in the air. I re-dialed Dan's number only to find it go straight to voicemail, great.

"Umm.. excuse me?" I heard a timid voice next to me ask to which I immediately turned around.

"Yes?" I replied, taking in the girl that stood in front of me, looking at me with wide inquisitive eyes. There was no doubt that she was beautiful, not only because of her long dark and wavy hair but also because she had huge brown eyes that everyone could easily get lost in, whether one likes it or not. She had a tiny frame and a warm smile, not to mention pretty fucking white teeth.

"I.. um.. well yeah, without wanting to sound creepy or anything, I'm um.. I'm Dan's girlfriend. I was on the way to the grocerie store when he called me and asked if I could pick you up, because and I quote 'That dickhead probably totally forgot that an fucking ambulance was his ride to the hospital which means that he'll probably try to call me on Tuesday when he needs to come back for work and he tends to forget that I usually turn my phone off once I am at work. So he'll stand there and curse me and I really want to keep my balls."

I had to laugh at that, Dan knew me too well. "You sound pretty damn creepy to be honest." I grinned "But I really need a ride, so I'll gladly accept your offer. I'm Jack by the way." I said, sticking my hand out for her to shake which she gently took.

"Jenna."

"Well then, Jenna" I said once I buckled up "how come I've never seen you around before? I mean I''ve known Dan for quite a while now, but never would I ever have thought that my favorite British homo was in fact straight, let alone has a girlfriend. I'm genuinely shocked." I stated, earning a slight giggle in return.

"It's because of his skinnies, isn't it?" she laughed "I told him countless times that they make him look gay, but he insists that they're part of his undeniable sexiness."

I snorted before pointing to my own pants, watching as she furiously blushed. "It's okay, I actually am in a gay relationship." I chuckled, immediately smiling at the thought of Alex.

"I- oh my god I'm so sorry this is so embarrassing." she groaned "I'm sorry, I'm just gonna shut up, okay?"

"Well we're here, anyways" I told her before getting out of her black Audi A3 "Thank you for the ride, it's appreciated."

"You're welcome." Jenna smiled and waved.

"Oh by the way" I called over my shoulder "You're the coolest girlfriend Dan could ever get himself!" and with that I entered the hospice where I almost bumped into my other dark-haired British friend.

"Phil!" I exclaimed, engulfing the small boy in a hug "I missed you, brother!"

"Let go of me, dude!" he laughed "I missed you, too, but that's no valid reason to crush my kidneys!"

"Oh shut up. Have you seen Dan anywhere? I need to thank that sexy motherfucker for saving my fat ass yet again." I told him, watching as his face turned a ligh shade of red, no fucking way.

"I-he uh.." he stuttered, looking anywhere but me and that's when I knew it for sure, that's when I figured out that Phil Lester was in love with Dan fucking Howell and I instantly felt bad, because I just had met Dan's girlfriend who was undeniably sweet and I didn't think that Dan would leave her for anyone, not even his best friend.

"Since when?" I blurted, causing the British boy to look up at me with a confused expression.

"Huh?"

"Since when do you like him and why didn't you tell me?"

"I-uh eight months.. is it really that obvious?" he asked, his hands coming up to cover his blushing face. "I- oh my god, Jack! What if he finds out? Oh god, no no no. That's, god no. What if-"

"Woah Phil, chill out!" I cut him off before he could get worked up over it any further "Everything's gonna be fine, okay? It took me like twenty years to figure out and if Dan didn't already and he's not going to anytime soon, okay?" I reassured, hugging him one last time before ruffling his hair and stepping away from him with a smile. "I need to go now, Judy's probably gonna kick my ass if I turn up late. Tell Dan I love him for saving my sorry-ass if you see him, yeah?"

The dark-haired boy chuckled before playfully pinching my cheek, adding a "Will do, Jack. Thank you." and running off before I could reply.

Work kicked my ass that day, I shit you not. I hadn't wanted to leave Alex in the first place and being around dying children wasn't really that pleasant in the situation I was currently in. Everything kept reminding me of Alex and how no matter how hard I was trying, he would leave me in the end. It was inevitable and we both knew it.

I entered the room of one of my patients, Sarah, and she immediately beamed.

"Jaaaacky!" she all but squealed, making me giggle "I missed you!" she exclaimed and I pulled her into a hug before she could say anything else.

"Saraaah!" I mocked her "How have you been?"

"Well what do you think? I'm a sixteen-year-old hormonal teenage girl and I suffer from cancer which means I'm gonna die in the next I don't know four days? I've never felt this good." she joked "But hey, at least I don't die a virgin."

"You don't?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Nope, I lost my virginity like two days ago." she stated proudly, sticking her hand out for a high-five which I happily gave her, making both of us laugh.

I stayed with Sarah for quite a while, just talking about the usual things. She told me that she wasn't afraid of dying anymore, that she was okay with it. Once she was finished with her ranting she asked me about Alex, wanted me to tell her the whole story, so I did.

After my shift I had ended and Dan had driven me home I took a long and most importantly much-needed shower before grabbing a few things out of diverse drawers and tossing them in my bag. Once I was ready I grabbed all my things, switching off the lights and locking the door before driving off to visit my boyfriend.

As I entered the hospital I couldn't help but think back to previous night's events:

"Jack?" Alex asked in the dark, his voice slightly trembling.

"Yes, Alex?" I replied concerned. He hadn't talked to me about what his mom told him the entire day and at first I thought that maybe they hadn't talked about anything important at all, maybe she just told him some of the basics like his birthday or something, but the more time had passed the quieter Alex grew and I knew thad something bad happened. My worries were proved to be true when the caramel-haired boy spoke up again:

"My dad died in a car crash." he informed me, tears silently running down his cheeks, neither of us bothering to wipe them away.

I could hear his voice from where I was standing outside of the room, emitting the most angelic sound I've ever had the pleasure to hear. The obvious passion and emotion he put into the song making a smile spread across my lips. I loved how much into music Alex was, it always seemed to brighten his day which, in return, brightened mine.

Maybe if I jump, I'll spread my wings. I know I've been wrong about these things. I don't care if no one else believes, I think that if you believe it then maybe we'll make it.

I slowly and carefully stepped into the room as to not disturb him. Alex shot me a wide smile before carrying on with the chorus, his eyes never leaving mine.

Tonight, oh tonight. If you believe in me like I believe in you. Tonight, tonight. Because impossible is possible, tonight.

And then he did the one thing I never thought he would be capable of: he started rapping causing me to stare at him with my mouth ajar and him to cheekily wink.

I will never take no for an answer, 'cause I will keep pushing till the middle of the summer. Finna make a wish on the day of my birth, 'cause you is what I really need and is all that I'm worth. I am thinking while I'm sinking cause I'm falling off quick, overflowing like the water in the titanic. And I'm lost for words, cause you always come to mind, see I always want you with me, never want you stuck behind. You're a need not a want, like a tool to survive, like the air, food and water that I need to be alive. See without you I will die and that wouldn't be a pretty picture. My homie's always ask me, "why you so obsessed with her?" I ain't obsessed, I'm just really in love, 'cause you're the only pretty lady that I'm always thinking of. Just take me back, I am praying on my knees and I promise it'll work, girl I beg you please.

After a few more minutes the song came to an end with a last "Tonight, oh tonight. If you believe in me like I believe in you. Tonight, tonight. Because impossible is possible, tonight." before Alex made grabby hands at me, eyes wide with excitement while he tried to hide the wide smile he wore.

"Hey" he said softly once I sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Hey" I replied, leaning in to gently kiss him which he happily returned by throwing his arms around my neck and pulling me closer to him. I pulled away quickly earning a frown "You know I don't want to hurt you." I explained, pressing one last peck to his lips before standing up and sitting down on the chair that was placed next to his bed.

"You're not." he said, pouting "The nurse gave me some pain killers ten minutes ago, I should be fine for the next twenty minutes or so. And now get your pretty ass over here, I want to cuddle."

"Nope." I replied, popping the 'p' and sticking my tongue out "I would much rather hear what your mom taught you today."

Alex only grimaced "Uh.. she kinda flipped shit on me." he mumbled timidly, suddenly finding his bedsheets more interesting than me.

I put my finger under his chin, forcing him to look at me "What happened?"

"I-I told her.. about us I mean."

The moment I saw the flash of hurt in his eyes, I instantly regretted being mad at him this morning. I could tell by the way he avoided my gaze that the conversation he had with his mom went terribly wrong, that Alex was beating himself up over this. Nevertheless I was curious as to what exactly had taken place a few hours ago. Getting up from where I was seated, I carefully laid down next to him, wrapping my arms around the one part of his lower body that wasn't covered in gauze bandages (they had freed him from the annoying IV two days ago), rubbing small circles into his skin.

"She said t-that she was disappointed in me a-and that she needed a few.. a few days to think about it." he sniffled, burying his face in the crook of my neck and letting the tears fall freely.

"I'm sorry, baby." I whispered into his ear, placing a loving kiss on his forehead, rubbing his sides.

We sat there in a comfortable silence, Alex clinging to me like his life depended on it, our heartbeats and occasional sniffles the only soundst that could be heard. It was almost like we understood each other without having to say anything. I felt like I knew what he needed, like I knew what he thought without needing him to word any of it. He was going to be okay, we both knew it and that was all that mattered. He knew that his mother would come around and I knew better than to tell him any different. She would have to come around eventually, she couldn't let her son down when he needed her the most, she wasn't a bad mother, she was just shocked and we both knew it.

"Jack?" the adorable mess that now practically sat on my lap, half-asleep, broke the silence. I just hummed to let him know that I had acknowledged his question, waiting for him to continue. "I-I remember.. things." he said slowly, carefully, looking up at me from under his fringe.

"What things?" I asked, running my hand up and down his spine.

The caramel-haired boy in my arms tensed up a bit before relaxing into my touch and whispering "Things about.. nevermind."

I looked down at him, shooting him a confused look to which he just started squirming in my lap, obviously trying to hide his discomfort.

"Can- would you mind if I laid down? I'm tired and my ribs start hurting again. I just really want to sleep."

"Alex.." I started only to be cut of by him rolling away from me, sticking his ass in my direction, eyes closed.

I pressed a light kiss to his neck before getting up, mumbling a "Goodnight." before silently leaving the room.