Don't Waste Your Time on Me.

Jack

I should ink my skin, with your name. Take my passport out again, just replace it.

A month went by, a month that I can't describe. A month I've been trying to push aside and forget in time. I opened my eyes to a room bathed in sunlight. Though it was much darker than I had expected it to be, immediately making me think I overslept. A quick glance at my phone told me otherwise though, and I quietly laughed to myself when I realized that it was just after 8 am on a Saturday morning, meaning I could easily turn around and go back to sleep for at least another two hours. Which I totally planned on doing, until a certain caramel-haired boy began to stir beside me. I remained still, opting instead to watch the younger slowly peel his eyes open, a sleepy yet insanely adorable smile gracing his plump lips.

"Morning." Alex yawned, sitting up in bed and stretching his muscles.

I made a face at the horrendous pop his spine made, only to hear him laugh. "You really worry too much about me, babe. I'm fine, I swear."

It was weird that after all those times I had seen my boyfriend awakening, I had never seen before what I saw in that moment. I had never taken the time to appreciate the absolute immaculateness that Alex seemed to radiate. I was fascinated by the way the sunlight hit him at just the right angle, tinting his hair a darker shade, making his eyes shine even brighter than they already did. It was almost bizarre how there wasn't a single flaw to that boy. How even after having just woken up he still looked as gorgeous as always.

That's when a stroke of genius hit me.

"I wanna get your name tattooed." I stated without thinking about it, my eyes never leaving his marvelous body.

"You what?" he asked, voice slighlty increasing in pitch, his eyes widening "Have you gone insane, love?"

"No, of course not." I exclaimed, feeling my cheeks turn pink "It's just.. like I just want a small one on my hip or my wrist or something. To remind me that y'know.. you're still up there somewhere, keeping an eye on me." I mumbled, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"Jack, baby." the dark-haired boy began only to cut himself off with a small chuckle, his usually caramel-colored orbs that had changed into rather honey-colored ones due to being hit by the sunlight boring into mine "It's really sweet and all and I feel honored that you'd do such things for me, but, baby, think about how ten years from now you probably won't even remember my name let alone have feelings for me, what will your future wife or your future husband think, love? Wouldn't it be stupid to get the name of the boy tattooed that wasn't able to stay alive long enough for you to build a life with him?"

See I could do without a tan on my left hand where my fourth finger meets my knuckle.

"Listen, Alex. There's nothing in the world that I want more than to just be able to marry you, okay? You are everything I ever wanted. But you and I, we both know that it would be ridiculous to give you a promise ring let alone propose to you. We knew it from the very start and even though it hurts more than anything that you're gonna leave me behind, I want something permanent. Something I can look at every now and again and remember that what we had was real."

"Oh, so asking me to marry you is ridiculous, but getting my name tattooed instead is not, or what?" he asked irritated.

"I.." I sighed in defeat, not wanting to argue with the brown-haired boy this early "Just think about it, okay? I'm gonna head downstairs and make breakfast, pumpkin." I stated, getting up and pressing yet another kiss to his forehead before walking out of the room and down to the kitchen.

And I should run you a hot bath, fill it up with bubbles.

Alex was upstairs emptying his stomach into the toilet like he did nearly every morning nowadays. You could say it was part of his morning routine. It wasn't particularly good, but we both were aware that things could've been much worse. Alex was still fairly stable for most of the time, even though there were some days where he couldn't bring himself to get out of bed or you know, do anything else for that matter.

I scrunched up my face in disgust as an especially repellent sounding heave left the brown-haired boy's throat, deciding that it was about time to check up on my beau. Once I got to the bathroom though, I was greeted by a rather pitiful looking Alex kneeling in front of the toilet, his hands keeping a tight hold on the toilet seat. Upon hearing me enter his head came out of the toilet with a jerk, making me chuckle.

"Hey, babe." I murmured, stroking his slightly damp hair out if his face and pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead while Alex coughed a few times before he wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his oversized sweater. He tucked away his hands underneath both his sleeves, looking up at me with mild confusion distinguishable in his beautiful brown eyes, his caramel-colored hair a mess.

"I feel like shit, Jay." he whined, lips immediately jutting into a pout.

"I know, darling. I'm sorry." I said, running my thumb over his cheek. Alex closed his eyes as he leaned into the touch, a small smile gracing his lips.

"'s not your fault." he said, opening his eyes "It's this stupid cancer." Alex sighed in defeat before closing his eyes once again, pressing a kiss to my palm. "I feel dirty."

"Come on then, big boy." I chuckled "It's time for a nice bath."

'cause maybe you're loveable,

"Yeah?" he asked, his whole face lighting up like a three-year-old's on Christmas morning "With bubbles and all?"

I nodded, giving him a soft smile "With bubbles and all."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Alex undressed as I ran a bath for him, adding some of the purple-ish bubbly liquid stuff Alex loved so much, smiling to myself at how adorable my boyfriend was. Once he had settled down in the bath tub the younger looked up at me with a questioning gaze "Aren't you gonna come in?" he asked, pouting furiously.

"Of course, I am. How could I ever pass up the chance of having you pressed up against my chest completely naked?" I joked, unbuttoning my jeans.

I took of my clothes rather quickly, folding them together and setting them down on a toilet seat next to Alex's clothes. Turning around I saw him moving his hands around on the surface of the water, catching as many bubbles as possible with his slender arms and piling them in front of him, giggling like a five-year-old. I could feel my heart tighten at the mere sight of the boy, a warm feeling spreading in the pit of my stomach, instantly making me smile.

"Come on, Jacky! The water's probably cold once you manage to get your fat ass into it!" my beau chuckled, stretching his arms out to me, making grabby hands.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I laughed, climbing into the tub and sitting down behind Alex, pulling him into my chest as my legs slid around his waist, next to his own. I could feel him leaning back against me and before I knew it he was pressing feather light kisses against my jaw and neck, smiling up at me with a content expression.

and maybe you're my snowflake.

"I'm so pale." Alex frowned upon seeing the contrast between our skin colors as he held my arms tightly around his flat stomach "That's not fair."

"What's so bad about being pale?" I asked, rubbing some shampoo in his wet hair, massaging his scalp with my fingers.

"It doesn't look healthy at all. I mean look at you being all colored with rosy cheeks and warm skin whereas I'm just pale and white and sick. I look like a godforsaken snowflake or something!" the caramel-haired boy exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.

"Well then.." I shrugged, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade "maybe you're my snowflake, love."

And you will never know, just how beautiful you are to me.