Don't Waste Your Time on Me.

"GODDAMNIT, MAY! ARE YOU SERIOUS? NO - NO FUCK YOU, DON'T RUN AWAY! YOU ARE COMING STRAIGHT BACK HERE! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?! MAY!" I shouted through my seemingly empty apartment, making my way to the kitchen where my sister previously had been cleaning off the remains of the hair dye she had used to completely deform me. And with deform me I mean that well, that little shit had dyed my fringe blue. B L U E. I guess you can imagine how insanely ridiculous I looked.

I could make out a light chuckle in the distance, probably coming from the bathroom. I wasted no time searching for her and to my surprise I found her standing in the hallway of my apartment, shit-eating-grin spread across her face that made her look like a five year old who had gotten away with flushing down her mother's favorite necklace.

"Lighten up, Jackypoo! It doesn't look that bad, plus it's just a semi-permanent hair color so there's really no need for you to shit yourself, okay?"

"There's no need to shit myself? May, I am not fifteen anymore! I'm an adult, jesus I'M A CARER, what do you think my patients are going to think of me? I can't walk around like this!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms in the air before turning towards the mirror to examine myself another time. I had to admit that it surely did not look bad, it was just that I really couldn't walk around like that, my boss would probably kick my ass.

"I'm sorry, Jack." May said, not looking sorry at all "It'll fade soon, okay? But for now I have to go, I'm meeting Jeff for lunch."

I gave her a quick hug before opening the door for her, waiting until she drove off before I closed it. I checked the clock, noticing that I had to hurry if I wanted to make it to work on time. I quickly threw on my blue scrub before grabbing a beanie along with my keys and heading out the door, speeding off to Manhattan's Hospice for Children.

Once I reached my destination I got out of the car and entered the building where I was instantly met by the sound of hysterical laughter, coming from the two guys walking in my direction.

"Hey dude, your hair looks horrifically awesome!" one of my co-workers, Dan, exclaimed with an amused facial expression.

"Is there the slightest possibility that you weren't allowed to go through your emo/scene phase when you were 13, Jackary?" another carer, Phil, chimed in.

"You guys aren't funny! My sister dyed my hair, it's not my fault!" I whined, jutting out my bottom lip in a pout which only caused both boys to laugh harder.

"It's okay, Jack, I totally get that you want to be random, it will get better." Dan teased, making me want to punch him in the face.

"Fuck you, both of you. Don't you have any patients you need to take care of?" I asked, seemingly annoyed.

"Actually, that's literally what we were about to do." the brown-haired boy standing in front of me admitted before pulling Phil by his arm and walking towards the elevator.

Dan reminded me a lot of Alex, what with being disturbingly skinny as well as having those brown eyes and the way he wore his hair, plus he had the same dimple on one side of his face but it looked more adorable on Alex if I was honest. The other guy, Phil, reminded me a bit more of myself. He had black hair that seemed to be carefully styled and even though his fringe was not blue, it lay as neatly on his face as mine. The only difference between our hair was that I wore mine slightly more messed up in the back whereas Phil had it all straightened and flat. Dan and Phil were always a welcomed company, they were insanely funny and just all around great guys. We actually hung out on a regular basis, most of the time in their shared apartment just venting about our jobs and playing video games while ravishing the contents of the boys' fridge.

I stood there for a couple minutes, too engrossed in my own thoughts to notice that I've been left alone before I was caused to snap out of my trance by none other than Judy telling me that I had better get started my work. This seemed to ring a bell because soon I entered the room of my first patient, Alex.

As soon as I fully entered the room Alex bursted out laughing "O-oh my god, J-Jack! Your hair- ahahaha your fringe is blue!" he exclaimed, almost choking on his own words, desperately trying to calm himself down but failing miserably because the giggles started all over again as soon as he looked at me.

It was kinda adorable, really but I was already sick of people mocking my hair, inwardly cursing May for her devilish work and making a note to strangle her as soon as I got the chance to. "Yeah, totally hilarious, I know." I replied, somewhat annoyed which caused Alex to stop laughing in order to throw me a sheepish yet apologetic look.

"Sorry?" he offered, smiling slightly.

I only nodded, placing the tray of food in his lap and sitting down on the chair next to his bed. "So Alex.." I started, not sure how to bring this up without him getting either emotional or pissed "You're allowed to leave tomorrow afternoon, but I guess you already knew that." Nod. "Well, I figured you might like to talk about your experiences or something? You don't have to but most of the kids here quite enjoy getting things off their chests."

"Uh well.. it isn't as bad as I thought. The staff is pretty nice.." Wink. "And well, it's not like I'm gonna die soon, is it? I'm just here to get to know the whole system, right?"

"Yes, right now that's the case. But you should be aware that this could get serious in a matter of months or even weeks, you need to realize that nothing is guaranteed." I said gently, not wanting him to freak out. "You seem fairly strong though, maybe this is gonna work out in your favor, as much as this can work out as a favor that is."

Alex chuckled, finishing his food and shoving the tray towards me. "You can leave now." he smirked, adding "Don't forget to take the tray with you, Jackary."

I got up, leaving the room when I heard him saying nonchalantly "You know, your hair looks pretty damn hot."

I quickly closed the door before Alex could get a chance to catch me blushing. What the fuck, Jack? You're too manly to blush, plus you haven't done that in five years. Calm your mantities before shit goes down.

Later that night I found myself in the staff room, occupying one of the more comfortable beds in there. I was laying on my back, desperately waiting for sleep to take me over yet it just wasn't happening. My mind kept always running back to the gorgeous boy on the other side of the building and for the first time since I met him I asked myself why I seemingly let myself get attached to this boy. There was absolutely no reason for me to deny that I had, in fact, developed a tiny crush on the brown-haired beauty and I wanted to punch myself in the face because this boy had leukemia for fuck's sake and he was completely right when he said he would die, how could I be so stupid? There was no way in hell that Alex would get out of this alive which meant that whether I liked it or not I was going to get hurt and there was nothing I could do to prevent it in any kind of way. But that was not the only thing I found out, no. Despite the knowledge of the inevitability of getting hurt there was something that could only be described as butterflies. I felt genuinely happy and I was willing to get my heart broken if that meant that I was able to spend the rest of Alex' short life with him. I wanted to make this beautiful innocent boy as happy as humanly possible, I wanted him to experience as much as he could and I wanted him to do that with me. Before I knew what I was doing I found myself in front of Alex' door, silently stepping in.

"Jack?" he asked, his drowsy voice seemingly confused "What are you doing here? It's like two in the morning."

"I-oh. Well.." I scratched my neck timidly "I couldn't sleep and I kind of wasn't really that nice earlier, so I thought that you might still be awake, umm.. I-I'll just go, okay?" I stammered before turning on my heel and heading towards the door.

"NO!" he whisper-shouted "I mean, err.. well you can stay here if you want." Alex mumbled, pulling away his duvet and patting the spot beside him.

I silently climbed into his bed, pulling down the duvet so it covered both of us before an overly adorable mess of brown hair cuddled itself into me. Alex laid his head on my chest and draped his arm over my scrub-clad torso before sighing contently. Neither of us said anything as we laid in his hospital bed together, a mess of limbs tangled with each other, listening to the other's heartbeat. I could feel his warm breath on my neck, making me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I didn't know what made me get out of my bed in the staff room on the other side of the building to come over to Alex's room but suddenly I was glad that I did. This brown-haired boy with his cute grin and this adorable little dimple made me feel strangely content and happy. I couldn't quite place the feeling I felt in that moment, but the one thing I knew was that I hadn't felt it in a long time and I wasn't about to destroy it in any kind of way. It felt nice to have someone snuggled in my arms and it was more than convenient that this someone was extremely attractive and adorable.

Alex played with my previously black fringe, twirling a few strands in his fingers. After a while of doing so he looked up at me with those big innocent eyes, breaking the comfortable silence with a silent whisper "Is this something you do with every patient of yours?"

"What?" I questioned, voice nothing more than a whisper, giving him a confused look "Sneaking in at two in the morning or being affectionate toward them?"

"Both." he simply stated.

"Yes and no." I told him, watching his face fall.

"So I'm nothing special then?" he muttered and I could see something in his eyes that looked a lot like disappointment but I chose to ignore it.

Instead I pulled him closer to me and whispered into his ear "Yes, I am used to people hugging me because they need comfort but no, I never had the desire to sneak into someone's room and cuddle with them, so you're still something special."

The seventeen-year-old looked up at me again and to say that the smile on his face was adorable would have been an understatement. He looked so innocent and happy it almost pained me, almost. Alex pressed a light kiss to my palm before turning around so I was spooning him and announcing that I'd better be there when he woke up the next morning.