Situations Are Irrelevant Now

I sat there in complete silence. I couldn’t breathe, and to be honest I really didn’t care. Of course I’ve been dying to know the answer to his question ever since I met him, but because of what he just said, I’m almost positive that all hope is gone. He was reclining at one end of the couch, with nothing but confidence and amusement written all over his face…while I was sitting uncomfortably on the opposite end, just waiting for the tears to come. It was hard to form words, but I managed.

“Yeah, Ronnie, I want to k-know why you couldn’t l-like me.”

He smirked, “It’s not that complicated really. First of all, as if you didn’t know by now, I’m not into relationships. They’re too much work and drama, and I don’t need that shit. And, c’mon Megan, it’s you we’re talking about here. You’re too young for me, and to be honest…you’ll always just be Megan to me and that’s it. I’ve known you since you were 12, ok? Changing your appearance isn’t ever gonna be enough to change how I’ve already felt about you. I guess we’re…friends, but that’s where it ends and that’s as far as it goes. End of story.”

I sat there completely speechless, and purposely avoiding eye-contact with him. He basically just told me that he thinks of me as a freaking 12-year old. What the hell?! Do you know how much it hurts to have the guy you love tell you that, and then say that it’ll never be anything more than friends? It’s like the worst kind of emotional pain ever, or at least that’s what it feels like right now. There was a slight tone of sympathy in his voice, but it was smothered by his cocky-ass attitude.

If I’m not ‘good enough’ for him, then I don’t need to talk to him or even look at him ever again. That stupidhot asshole! I jumped up from the couch and ran out of the room as fast as I could, slamming the door behind me.

*Ronnie’s POV*

I really don’t know why Megan doesn’t just move on and get a life already. I mean, she’s been in love with me for like 8 years now. Hmm she must just be too stupid and desperate to not get the idea by now. I watched as she ran out of the room and slammed the door behind her. Oops, did I make her upset? Like I care.

Actually, if Megan is all depressed now, it’ll be really entertaining to pull pranks on her…since most likely she won’t actually fight back. Wow, she should have done all of this sooner…look at all the time I’ve wasted! I just kind of sat there, relaxing and enjoying my victory – but all of the sudden, I felt something that I hadn’t felt in a very long time…guilt.

Why would I feel guilty about doing that to Megan, of all people? I just told her the truth, there’s nothing wrong with that. Ok, well maybe I didn’t tell her the whole truth… Deep down inside, and it hurts to admit this, I do think her new ‘look’ is amazing and I’m glad she did it, and I don’t know why I wouldn’t have told her that. Well, I guess it would be because then that would give her a sliver of hope that there would be a future for ‘us.’ I don’t want her getting the wrong idea, which I why I’m ‘mean’ to her most of the time.

And another thing, I did actually like her once in high school, mostly because she was so different from any girl that I had ever dated. She was unique, and I was looking for something new. The only problem was, I knew how much she liked me. I knew how innocent she was, even though she wasn’t willing to admit it. So, I never mentioned any of it to her. I had a feeling deep down inside that I would get her for her first time later in life. And I did. I was her first kiss at a party in high school (it was a dare)…and last night I was her first at everything else.

She wants a relationship, and I don’t, so it would never be what she would really want anyway, so why bother telling her anything other than what I said to her? After a couple minutes of arguing with myself, I managed to convince my conscience that I made the right choice and to forget about Megan. My confidence immediately returned, and it felt so good to be me.

Bryan finally came back upstairs and said, “Hey Ronnie, are you sure it was my amp that was on? Because it was definitely off…”

I shrugged as I walked into the kitchen and said, “Sorry, must’ve been someone else’s then.” I opened up a beer and enjoyed my ‘victory.’

*Normal POV*

As soon as I got back in my room, I collapsed on the bed, not really wanting to be on there, especially after what happened last night. But I was too upset to care. I held onto Simba tightly as my tears finally came and fell down my cheeks. I don’t understand what is so wrong with me? Obviously, I don’t look like how I did when Ronnie met me, and honestly I think I’m much more sarcastic and out-going now. So, why does he think of me as a 12-year old, or whatever? It doesn’t make any sense!

It just kills me because I know the only reason why he wouldn’t even consider me, is because I’m me. It was pretty obvious last night that he loved being with ‘Alicia,’ but if it was me, he wouldn’t have even done anything with me, just like the night before. How could I have been so stupid, to think that changing my appearance would be enough to get Ronnie to like me?

Well, I now know that I don’t stand a chance with him, no matter what I do, so I might as well just give up and move on. On the bright side, he did call us ‘friends,’ which is more than he’s ever said about me. But it’s not enough to make me feel better.

I need to talk to someone and now. I grabbed my cell phone, and quickly dialed Lynzee’s number. I was completely crestfallen when she didn’t answer. I’m pretty sure that Bryan and Max are the only ones home besides Ronnie…and I don’t even know where Bryan is right now, so I hesitantly opened the door and walked across the hall to Max’s room.

After wondering if this was the right thing to do, I finally pushed myself to knock on his door. I heard some movement inside the room, and it gave me hope that maybe he doesn’t completely hate me…or he just doesn’t know who’s at his door. He opened the door a little and he had no expression on his face. “M-max, I know that I made a mistake and I need to – .”

SLAM! The door shut right in front of my face. Ouch. I didn’t want to admit it before, but Max was right…and now I’m the only one who has to pay the price for what’s happened.

I went back inside my room to see something that I hadn’t seen before. There was a package sitting on the desk addressed to me. “I wonder what this is,” I thought out loud as I ripped off the tape and opened the box. Inside was a picture frame with a sticky note on it.

The note said, ‘Hope everything works out for you two. It should…since I used all my magic on you! I’m glad you guys are finally together. Love, Lynzee.’ Reading that only brought more tears to my eyes.

I looked at the picture frame and saw that it was personalized. It had ‘Ronnie + Megan forever’ written all over each of the four sides. It’ll never happen. It will never be Ronnie and Megan forever. I was so angry and sad at the same time…if that’s even possible. And sometimes when I’m like that, my emotions really get control of me. That would explain why without thinking at all, I threw the frame as hard as I could across the room, and watched as it hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces.

It ended up leaving a pretty noticeable dent in the wall. I didn’t realize that Lynzee spent her most recent pay-check on that frame, or that she made it special just for me by putting my favorite colors (black and purple) on it. I didn’t think about anything, other than the fact that my potential relationship with Ronnie ended before it could even begin. And that Max probably won’t talk to me ever again.

The next couple of days all felt like a blur…they seemed blended together in one gigantic, depressing time. I barely talked to anyone, and every time I would run into or see Max, he would just glare at me, and that added to my depression. Almost every day this week, Ronnie brought home some slut, a new one each night, and he took them downstairs to ‘party’ on the couch-bed down there. I finally had the bed to myself, but I didn’t want that. It seems that he’s moved on already. And I’m just falling deeper and deeper.

After thinking about it, I realized that there is no point in me staying in this house anymore. Max isn’t going to talk to me, Ronnie is a complete asshole…and I would miss the other guys, but I think the reason why I’m so down is because I have to see those two every single day. Hell, I have to share a room with one of them.

So, I made up my mind. I’d move out at the end of the week. I already have enough money in the bank, and I have a really good job as an intern at one of Las Vegas’ best newspapers. I could make this on my own…but I don’t want to be alone, that’s the problem.

I felt a tiny bit better as I walked into work the next day, thinking about some houses that I saw for sale in the newspaper on my way to work and finally being able to move away from Ronnie and move on with my life. But my happiness faltered a little when I saw my boss talking to some girl about my age that I had never seen around here before…and it looked like he was showing her around the place, much like how he did when I first came here.

“Um, Mr. Welling, can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked politely, trying to get his attention away from whoever this new chick was. He turned around and frowned when he saw it was me calling his name.

“Oh, it’s you, Megan. Um, there’s something I need to tell you actually. You’re past work hasn’t really been your best, and you’ve been missing deadlines – 2 within the past week – and I just don’t think you’re dedicated to your job. So, Sandie, here is going to be taking your spot.”

Did he really just say that to me?! I glanced at ‘Sandie’ and noticed her fake nails, and bleached blonde hair, her fake orange tan, and her mask of make-up. How the hell could he hire her in my spot? “I don’t understand, sir. Just because I had a rough time this week, you’re going to fire me? I’ve been doing a pretty good job, I think, in the 6 months that I’ve been here. Shouldn’t that –.”

He shook his head, “I’m sorry Megan, but you’re fired.” His words echoed in my head, just like Ronnie’s had the previous night. I glared at him and dumped my burning hot coffee all over his brand new leather shoes as I stormed out of the building. Once I made it outside, I realized…I needed that job to pay for my new house damn it!

As soon as I got home, I just walked straight to my room and stared at the ceiling while lying on the bed, pushing my real-estate magazines and newspapers to the floor. Someone came inside the room, and I didn’t bother looking up to see who it was. I didn’t care. Well, it ended up being Ronnie, and he was smiling, for some reason.

“What do you want?” I asked, my voice evidently filled with sorrow and pain.

He shrugged, “Just wanted to see how the house hunting was going. Oh, and I’m really sorry to hear about how it got cut short.”

I sat up, “How the hell did you know about any of that?”

“Duh, you have the magazines all over the place and I got this,” he said waving my final pay check in front of my face, “in the mail today. Damn, it looks like you’re gonna be stuck here with us forever.” He was smiling, and I bet that asshole is enjoying all of this.

I really am going to be stuck here forever, seeing my best friend ignore me and spending almost every night with the guy I love, only to watch him treat me like I’m nothing special. I can’t spend the rest of my life drowning in this misery…because of them. I have to do something to change it around.

Too bad Ronnie had something else in mind.