It's Not Over Tonight

“I don’t care Adam, Callie is my dog and I‘m not going to let you take her from me.” I hit the end button and place the phone on the coffee table. Almost immediately it begins to vibrate noisily against the table. A sigh escapes my lips as I run my fingers through the soft fur of the dog sitting next to me on the couch and grab the annoying device with the other hand. “You’re not going to change my mind.”

“I miss her Pay, can I at least come over and see her for a few minutes, maybe take her for a walk so she doesn‘t think I just abandoned her?” I feel my heart rate increase as the thought of seeing Adam again flutters through my mind. So many memories from our relationship flash before my eyes my head feels like it’s spinning out of control. “Payson?”

“Sure,” I say snapping back to the present time.

“Alright I’ll be over in like twenty, please don’t change your mind. The line goes dead and I put the phone back on the coffee table.

“Well Callie, sounds like we’re gonna have some company.” The dog cocks her head at me and I take a couple deep breaths. I head into the bedroom and change from my pajamas into a more suitable outfit and put a little bit of make up on, Callie curled up in her bed next to the closet, as she does every day while I get ready.

The doorbell disrupts Callie from her peaceful slumber and she scrambles to the front door, barking like crazy the whole way. I pull the hem of my shirt down and follow the dog, knowing Adam would be standing just behind the door. Callie looks out a window and begins to whimper in excitement, jumping at the door until I finally open it. Adam drops to his knees and gets mauled by the three year old Sheppard/Husky mix, who profusely licks him in the face. The sight makes me smile, a familiar twinge in my chest as the man turns his attention from the dog to me.

“Oh,” Adam exclaims as he takes in my appearance.

“Things are a little different nowadays,” I glance down at my protruding abdomen and habitually run my hands over the bump.

“I see that. I’m uh, I’m gonna take Cal for a walk if that’s alright,” Adam mumbles while rubbing the back of his neck. I go grab the harness and leash and hand it over to Adam, who gets the dog all hooked up. “Thanks for letting me see her Pay.”

The door closes as the pair take off down the road, I watch from the window until they disappear over a hill and sigh for what feel like the millionth time since getting Adam’s original pleading phone call last night.

After about an hour or so Adam and Callie return, Callie immediately taking a long drink of water and then flopping down on the couch contently.

“You know I have to ask,” Adam begins after a moment of uncomfortable silence. I nod and chew on my lower lip a little.

“I think you should sit down.” The range of emotions that pass over Adam’s face as he makes his way over to the loveseat range from anger to guilt to maybe even a twinge of excitement. “How do you wanna do this, do you just want me to talk or do you wanna ask questions, or what?”

“What the hell Pay,” Adam mumbles while running his hands through his hair, “were you going to tell me? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Honestly? I wasn’t going to tell you. I looked at your tour schedule and figured I was safe, that you’d be gone long enough for me figure something out, but I didn’t think you’d try to see Callie. I didn’t tell you because, well you’re a rockstar Adam and dammit don’t you try to tell me otherwise because it’s true. We broke up, I found out, I figured I could handle it without adding the stress to your crazy ass life. I was thinking about you Adam. Does that make sense?”

“A little. How far along are you?”

“About nineteen weeks, which puts date of conception around Valentines Day. That night was pretty special, wasn‘t it?” Adam gets a familiar smirk on his face and I blush. “I have no problem with doing this on my own, but if you do have any interest in other ideas I‘m open to working something out.”

“I think I need some time, I need to think and figure my shit out,” Adam say while petting Callie in her sleep, “I need like a day? Maybe a day or so?”

“I understand. Take as much time as you need, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here, getting fatter.”

“You look beautiful, pregnancy suits you well Pay,” Adam says causing me to blush. He notices and smiles, “I’ll call.”

“Hey Adam,” I suddenly turn into a teenage girl with her crush, my palms begin to sweat lightly, “can I ask a favor of you before you go?” Adam stops and turns back towards me. “Can you just hold me for a minute? I’m not trying to pull anything, I’ve just really missed it.” Adam immediately comes over and engulfs me in a tight embrace. I breathe in the painfully familiar scent of his cologne and under that the uniquely indescribable scent that was just Adam and feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes. Pushing myself away from the man makes a couple tears fall.

“Sorry, hormones and such. I guess I’ll talk to you sometime later?” Adam nods and clears his throat, mumbling a goodbye before taking off out the door. Callie perks her head up at the sound of the door but lays back down when she sees its only me standing there.