Who Are You to Fall Apart on Me?

[Vic]

I didn't chase after Jaime. I knew his mind was made up. I could read that across his face. I held my composure, and went into the back room. I saw Jaime on the phone with somebody in his bunk, but he was murmuring so I couldn't catch anything he said. I closed the door behind me and grabbed my acoustic guitar. I took a deep breath and sat down, trying to calm myself, trying to not freak out. I started strumming the chords to Million Dollar Houses, trying to hone my focus on playing the melody.
"Maybe we're meant to lose the ones we love, but I'll fight for you till then..."
I rolled my shoulders a few times. I felt my face grow hot, but I still kept my composure. My fingers danced across the familiar strings to the melody. I closed my eyes, trying to let everything drift off my shoulders. But as I closed my eyes, I thought of all the wonderful times I had with Jaime, even before I said I cared for him. Times of good friendship. Laughing together and cuddling to movie after movie.
I felt just one tear slip down my hot cheek.
He said he just wanted to be friends, but I know things will never be like they once were. No more hugs and kisses. No more nights spent walking around in the dark and chilly atmosphere. No more...
My eyes snapped open as I heard the squeak of the door being opened. With all my heart I hoped it was Jaime so I could at least have a chance at trying to fix what happened, but it was Mike. He shut the door after himself, and came over to the couch next to me.
"Did you hear what Jaime said to me?"
"Yeah, I advised him to do it." My mouth dropped open and I stared at my brother with anger. How could he? He knew that I really liked him and he tells him NOT to go out with me? What the fuck.
"Seriously Mike? What the fuck? Why? Come on little brother, you know how much I like Jaime!" I was angry. My voice grew harsh and and my temper grew short. I was glaring at him, and he just looked on with a calm face at me.
"Vic, Selena's back."
"So what if she's back?!"
"Do you know yourself at all?" He looked at me, daring me to rebute him. When I stayed quiet, he began talking again.
"Vic, she's your weak spot. You know she's your weak spot. I told him to not start anything as long as she's around. He can't trust you around her. I know you can't trust yourself around her. So don't pretend that you can. You have to make a choice, you're either gonna make this 'friendship' with her, or you're gonna work on making a relationship with Jaime. Honestly, Jaime has never hurt you or lied to you, and Selena is a lying, cheating, fake bitch." His eyes never left mine the whole time, and when he finished, he stood up and walked out. I sat there trying to think. Trying to sort out my thoughts in a way where I could have them both.
Eventually I quit, and got up and walked to the front area of the bus. Mike and Tony were playing video games and Mike broke his concentration from the video game and looked up at me.
"I know who you're looking for, he left a little while ago with Oli." Fuck. I really don't wanna lose my chance with him. Oli is damn cute too. Get serious, Vic. Start thinking of a way to win him back. Don't lose this one. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and took it out to check who it could have been, hoping that it was Jaime.
*ONE NEW MESSAGE*
Selena: Hey Vic (: ...
Me: Oh hey Selena
Selena: What's up?
Me: Fighting with Jaime..
Selena: Ahhw :c that's too bad. Wanna go somewhere tomorrow? I know you're leaving the next day so...I could cheer you up?
Me: Sure that sounds nice :3
I sighed. I shouldn't see her tomorrow. I shouldn't trust her. But she acts like she's changed. It can't be too horrible. Today wasn't too horrible. I just have to talk to Jaime. Show him that he can trust me.

--

[Jaime]

Turning my back on him was damn hard. Seeing that look in his eye made my heart ache with sadness, but I refuse to be treated like second-best. And I know that's what I'll be if Selena's around. I don't trust her. She is a good actress, and I can see through her fucking act. When I turned away from Vic, from us, I bit my lip hard and went into my bunk. I tried to be cool, and tried not to cry, but I could feel all my anxiety and sorrow bubble up my throat in a small, short gasp that only reached my ears. I couldn't be here anymore. I couldn't breathe.
I pulled my phone out and began texting Oli to help comfort me. He was such an amazing friend to me.
Me: Olibear!
Olibear: Haha, yes Hime-Time?(:
Me: Vic's a jackass..
Olibear: Ahhw, boo, tell ol' Oli what happened. Meet you outside your bus in 5? We can go to Starbucks and get some hot tea.
Me: You're such a Brit! c: Okay see you <3
I heard Vic walk into the back room, past my bunk, and start singing. I climbed out of my bunk and slipped on my Vans, fixed my hair and slid on a beanie, and then sprayed just a little of some of my nice cologne. I don't know why I was getting ready like...like it was a date or something. It was just the same Oli. I don't know...
When I was finished, I stuffed my phone and some cash in my back pocket, and walked out to the front of the bus. As I passed Mike, he gave me a nod of understanding, and I answered with a grateful smile.
"Where you going bro?" Tony didn't even look away from the screen that him and Mike were playing video games on.
"Just to chill with Oli, later!" I waved goodbye, and climbed out into the cold evening, grateful that I had thought to slip on a sweatshirt. I looked to my right and saw Oli's face cast in the light from the cherry on his cigarette. His strong jaw and cheekbones were highlighted with the shadows that danced around his face, and his hazel eyes were illuminated by the moon that washed over his face. I couldn't help but give him a once over. He caught sight of me, and gave a chuckle, blowing out the smoke from his mouth in a big puff and smiling back at me.
"Whatcha' staring at, mate?" He gave me this angering and adorable smirk, and brought me in for a hug. I breathed in his scent, a mixture of tobacco and Old Spice. I smiled into his shoulder, his comforting arms around me felt nice. After having a stressful few days dealing with whatever Vic and I are, feeling Oli reach his hands to the center of my back and rub circles made me just melt into his touch.
"I'm so stressed out."
"I know, boo." He cooed to me and kissed the top of my head.
"Should I just give up on him? I mean at least for right now? It's obvious he wants her.."
"Do you want that? Here, let's take a walk, and get that tea." He released me from his embrace, making me suddenly feel very cold without him, and then looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile. He took my hand in his, intertwining our fingers, and started to walk. I followed him and gave out a rather girly giggle. He's just my friend...
--
We sat in the itty bitty Starbucks with our hot tea warming our fingers from walking here in the crisp, autumn night. Oli was facing across from me, grabbed my hand and began rubbing circles in my palm.
"Talk to me, mate. What happened? And," he flipped my wrist over before I could stop him and pulled my sleeve up, "care to explain these to your best friend who cares about your well-being?" I gave out a long sigh, I was just about to explode.
"They're old."
"From what I can tell only by a day or so." His voice was stern, but full of concern. I broke down and let out a shaky breath. I began telling him everything. And about how much I liked Vic, and how Selena came back, and I don't want my feelings to be hurt so wanting to break it off now before I really begin to like him and end up getting betrayed.
"Come here." He pulled his chair close to mine and I gladly fell into his arms. He rubbed my arms as he whispered comforting words to me.
"Don't stress out, just do what you need to do, yeah? If he can't see how spectacular you are, he doesn't deserve you." He gave me another toothy grin, I could tell he was trying to cheer me up.
"I'm really trying not to self-harm. I stopped myself once already. I'm trying.." My voice lost the strength and I just laid into his strong chest.
"I know, I'm just worried. You're perfect, there's no need for that, yeah?"
"Yeah." I smiled back at him, he always made me feel...loved.
"Let's go back to the busses before it gets too late." He grabbed my hand again, and his tea with the other. I grabbed mine and we stood up and began walking back. The moon was shining brightly on the two of us, and I kept stealing glances at him. His slighter frame, his tight t-shirt that hugged his torso, and the leather jacket he put on to keep the cold out. I mentally traced his tattoos on his neck over and over again before he broke our comfortable silence.
"Why do you keep staring at me?" I looked at him, he wasn't looking back, simply just looking up at the moon hanging in the sky, his gorgeous smile on his face.
"I-i I'm not." I couldn't help to stutter from embarrassment of being caught. My cheeks turned a bright pink and I saw him look at me from the corner of his eye and smile wider.
"Come here, you're shivering." He pulled me under his arms, and I did feel warmer from having his body warmth, and being this close to him. Butterflies batted their wings in my tummy and I bit back a smile.
"Vic doesn't deserve you if he's hurting you this much. I can see in your eyes, mate."
"He's not doing it on purpose. It's just hard. I don't know anymore Olibear."
"Did I ever tell you that it's fucking adorable that you call me that?" I felt his chest bounce from giving off a soft chuckle at his nickname. We began approaching the busses again, and we stood at the edge of the parking lot between both our busses and he pulled me around.
"I don't wanna have to let you go tonight, especially since you look so handsome." His hand brushed the side of my face as I felt blood rush right back up to my cheeks. I gave him doe eyes as he looked at me with adoration. Oli was making me question my feelings for Vic. Sure I felt such a strong attraction to him, he was adorable and funny and amazing. But here was Oli, open armed and willing. My stomach was flipping over and over again and I felt my teeth unconsciously bite down on my bottom lip.
"You're so damn cute when you do that." I felt his British accent color his words, and his hand slip down to my waist. I was staring at him, totally captivated by his face, and his plump mouth and how it moved when he talked. And again, I felt his other hand go to the back of my neck, his fingers twisting into my dark locks. His eyes shone in the moonlight and he began to lean down. I couldn't stop what was happening, and even if I could I'm not sure that I wanted to. I went on my tiptoes and I felt his smile as his lips touched mine. It was incredible. My hand rose to the side of his face and the other down to his hip. He pulled me in closer as his mouth molded onto mine. It was gentle and soft, but full of passion. His smooth lips were pressed against my own, and he'd open his mouth just a little to recapture my lips onto his for a better kiss every so often.After being connected like this for some time, he broke us apart, ending the kiss with a small pop. There was no tongue, just sweetness.
I looked up into his eyes and he simply gave me a soft and sweet smile that only curved up the edges of his lips, but made his eyes sparkle with happiness. I smiled back at him.
"Now get back to your bus before I steal you, love." He kissed the top of my head, and kissed my hand before letting it go and walking back to his bus, giving me one last glance over his shoulder.
I walked back onto the bus, everyone was in their bunks already. I checked the time on my phone and it told me it was almost two in the morning. My gaze fell on the couch, Vic was there. His eyes were closed and his breathing slow and steady, telling me that he had fallen asleep. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temple while walking away from the scene of Vic sitting there on that couch.
Was he waiting up for me?
Being with Oli lifted my spirits so much, but still made me more conflicted than ever.
Vic is amazing, and I really like him. But is he ready to be with me?
I began to undress and get into my pajamas. I climbed into my tiny bunk, thankful that I could get some rest and escape the drama, even if it's only for a few hours.
As I laid down, before closing my eyes to go to sleep, I checked my phone.
*ONE NEW MESSAGE*
Olibear: Hope I didn't ruin anything, you're just as cute as a button, and I really like you. If you don't like me that's alright and we can still be friends? xxoo
Me: Oli! You're so cute, I don't even know (: let's just see where this goes? <3
Olibear: That's totally fine. I'll be missing having you in my bed tonight that's for sure, you're a great cuddler...(:
Me: Ahhww you sweetie! Shush, I need sleep. Night xx
Olibear: Night xxooo
I locked my phone and turned over to finally sleep. I drifted into an ever-shifting dream in which I was strolling and holding hands with someone, and the face kept changing from Vic to Oli.