Synthetic Love

I woke up before Devin. I had to admit though, it was a kick-ass way to wake up. It didn’t sound like anyone else was up yet either, so I enjoyed my time laying here with the guy I’d never gotten over.

Last night had ended better than I could have wanted than I’d wished. Kissing Devin again was better than I remembered. And he wasn’t angry, or he hid it well. But there was still the question of what to do about Brodon. Devin said to break up with him. He made it sound so simple. Unfortunately, I knew that no matter what decision I made, there was going to be trouble. And how am I going to tell the others who I really am? Devin shifted in his sleep, pulling me closer to him. Fuck, this was comfortable. I ended up drifting back to sleep.

When I woke up again, I was alone in the bunk and I could hear a lot of noise coming from the front of the bus. I forced myself to get up and join them. I couldn’t keep from laughing when Devin pulled me down to sit on his lap. I was surprised though, when no one questioned us. Instead, they had these weird grins on their faces.

“Looks like we were right,” Chris said.

“Right?” I asked, glancing back at Dev. He looked about as confused as I did.

“You might have changed how you look, but you still have the same personality,” Balz explained. I couldn’t believe they knew it was me. I guess I didn’t do as good of a job as I thought I did. “What are you going to do about Brodon though?”

I sighed. “I don’t want to be with him, but there’s the chance he’d pull Peace For Mind out of the tour if I broke up with him.”

“Fuck them if they pull out,” Devin said. “It’s more important that you’re happy, and from the little I’ve seen, it doesn’t seem like the two of you have it great.” The others nodded in agreement.

Looks like my decision was made for me. “I guess I’ll tell him when we get to the venue,” I said. “But you’ve gotta know Brodon’s not going to let me stay with them for the rest of the tour.” Plans were made for Angelo and Ryan to go with me when I went to break up with Brodon and get my things. I was going to be staying here from now on. It reminded me of when I lived in Scranton, when they’d take over my front room and watch movies. Now though, we took over the front of their bus and watched movies.

When we finally arrived at the venue, I forced myself and the others to get up. I figured it was better to go now, before the show, then after, when Brodon and his band would most likely be drinking since I wasn’t there anymore. I led Ryan and Angelo to the bus, making them promise to stay outside, no matter what. Their worried looks were the reason I hadn’t let Dev come along. “This should be quick, since I don’t have much to get,” I reassured them. It didn’t seem to help put them at ease at all though.

The bus was a mess. But it was also quiet, which meant everyone was still asleep. We were off to a good start, and I had half my things packed before I heard any movement. Unfortunately, that was the end of my good luck. “Going somewhere?” Brodon asked from behind me.

I jumped up, turning to face him. He was three feet away from me, and yet I could smell the alcohol on his breath. So much for my hopes of having a sober ex-boyfriend to deal with. But he wasn’t my ex yet. Maybe that’s why my plan didn’t work. I took a deep breath before saying anything. “I’m leaving. We’re over Brodon.” His eyes flashed when I said that. Yup, my good luck was definitely gone now.

“I had a feeling you’d say that. After all, you did leave me there on stage in front of hundreds of people without an answer. Do you have any idea how humiliating that was? Then you don’t even go to the bus. You run away somewhere, then show up here the next day, thinking you can just take your shit and leave? I’m sorry sweetie, but it ain’t gonna be that easy.” I took a step back, followed by another, then another as Brodon slowly walked towards me. “I bet I can guess where you were last night. Since you’re here, you were obviously on another bus. But whose?” My back pressed against the wall as he pretended to think. “I’ll bet you were with Motionless in White. You spent quite a lot of time there before last night, so it would make sense that you’d run to them first.”

I nodded. “I told you I was friends with Allie. Besides, you were the one who wanted me to hang out with more chicks. Last night, you left before the show was over, so I had to find my own way here. I called Allie and she convinced the band to let me stay with them,” I explained quickly. “And you knew I had stage fright, so why the fuck would you ask me a question that seems so important on stage, in front of all those people?”

“You may have been friends with her, but I know that’s not the only reason you’ve been spending so much time over there. That’s not why the band was so eager to help you set up the merch or put it away. I know you were cheating on me. You think I’m so stupid I hadn’t noticed?”

I shook my head, pressing myself closer to the wall. I didn’t like that look in Brodn’s eye. It was the same look my father got. “I wasn’t cheating on you. I promise.”

“Why should I believe you, you lying whore?” I leaned to the side quickly, missing Brodon’s fist by inches. He grabbed my shoulder roughly, pinning me against the wall. He didn’t miss that time. “Get your shit and get off my fucking bus,” he said finally. “We’ll find someone else to sell our merch.” He shoved me against the wall again before leaving me alone. This was what he saved me from when I left my dad’s place. He knew that. How could he do the exact same thing to me now? I forced myself to finish packing, shoving things into the bags as quickly as I could when I heard the knock on the door.

“Is everything ok in here? We heard a loud noise,” I heard Ryan ask. Brodon gave a quick reply, something about tripping and knocking something over. I picked up my two bags, wincing as I placed the strap of my backpack on the shoulder he’d held me by.

“So you brought two little bodyguards with you,” Brodon sneered, standing in the doorway. “Are those the two you’ve been fucking? I’m surprised, not only were you cheating on me, but with a married guy too? Looks like you do take after your father in at least one way.”

“I thought you wanted me gone?” I asked. I couldn’t acknowledge what he’d just said. It would only make things worse. Brodon eventually moved, leading me back to the door.

“Have a nice life,” he said before shoving me down the stairs to the door. I felt the cold rush of air as the door flew open, sending me to the ground, the snow failing to cushion my landing. The door slammed shut seconds later.

“Anna, are you ok?” I nodded, accepting Angelo and Ryan’s help at getting up. I had a nice collection of bruises now, for sure. “What the fuck happened in there?” Angelo asked, staring in horror at my eye.

“Nothing I didn’t halfway expect,” I said. “Can you do something to get Devin out of the bus? You guys have the show soon, and if he sees me like this, you know he’s not gonna play well.”

We stopped behind The Ghost Inside’s bus while Ryan made the call. “Chris, get Dev into the venue…I don’t know, tell him we need to be there earlier than we thought for sound check or some shit.” He hung up before telling us to wait five minutes, then he’d go check to be sure they were gone.

I could feel the pain throughout my body, not only bruised, but with sore muscles as well. After Ryan checked the empty bus, the two helped me in and put my bags in the back before running to the venue to join the others for the fake rush. It took me a while, but I managed to change my clothes before climbing into Dev’s bunk. The next thing I knew, I someone was shaking me, trying to wake me up.