Two Hundred and Thirty

“I’ll come over there and drag you in if I have to!” Garrett yelled, the water lapping over his chin with the gentle current.

Sand wriggled its way in-between my bare toes as I stood on the water’s edge. The merciless sun boiled down on its surface, creating the most perfect temperature that trickled over the tips of my toes. I knew that once I was in, it’d be near impossible to get me out again.

“Come on!” Pat shouted, with a whiny undertone that voiced his impatience.

I rolled me eyes, even though they couldn’t see me and gripped the bottom of my shirt. I launched it over my head, letting it land somewhere on the sandy bank, before propelling myself into the water and running as fast as I could. As I hopped through the shallows, I thought my lungs were going to cave in with my laughter as Garrett and Pat thrashed their arms around in the water, sending droplets to land on my cheeks. The warm water gradually swallowed me further and further until it was just above my chest and I began to swim.

Pat’s hair was like a veil, floating after him on the surface, whereas Garrett looked like some sort of troll that had emerged from the darkest pits of the lake, with his overgrow facial hair stringing together and dripping. They were such characters and honestly, not a thing like John.

“So nice of you to join us.” Garrett smirked.

I didn’t say anything, just gave him an overly enthusiastic sarcastic grin.

“Hey,” Pat started. “Let’s float.”

And then, as if it was the most common thing in the world, both boys leant back and let the water lift their bodies onto its surface.

“Come on, Rae.” Garrett said, squinting his eyes at me as he lay on top of the water.

I did, leaning back as they did until I too was floating on top of the water with the merciless sun warming me down to my bones.

“You know, one time-“ Pat began, his voice lowered as if he was no longer excited about everything. “when we came back from Europe, we all lay like this- you remember Gare?-“

“I do.” Garrett replied, his eyes closed, completely relaxed.

“We were just all in a line, the- the five of us… occasionally speaking, but the conversation was always light. We- we must have been like this for over an hour.” I glanced towards him, and unlike Garrett, he was staring up at the cloudless blue sky as if this could never be relaxing to him.

“That was a good day.” Garrett added slowly.

“Over two years ago-“

Garrett cut him off, “Pat, don’t.”

I suddenly felt like, once again, I was intruding. This was a common occurrence around these guys, they drifted from being enviously close to one and other and then quietly bringing up secrets and topics that must be left between them and only them. I wanted the current to become violent and drag me deep underneath. But instead, we lay there in silence, just floating like pieces of paper being gently swayed by the light waves. It was barely a silence though, it spoke every word that we could have ever wanted to say in our lives and there was nothing at all we could add. So we just lay there and let it speak for us.

The sun had shifted slightly in the sky by the time Garrett broke the peace.

“First one to the bank gets dinner on the loser.” His tone was incredibly calm considering…

Both of them thrashed like beached fish and darted towards the bank in a complication of limbs, but, little did they know that I was best on my high school swim team. The feeling of my stomach in the water was strange as it had been exposed to the sun for the longest time. I came to find that familiar feeling of my heartbeat in my ears and kicked my way infront of the boys. I could almost hear the sudden determination in their lungs.

I didn’t particularly care about getting one of them to pay for my dinner, it’s more the fact that they probably both thought that they’d beat me. I reached the edge of the bank before they even got into the shallows. I was greeted by Jared launching a towel at me and everyone else stood on the water’s edge laughing at Garrett and Pat battling between eachother, Pat kicking Garrett in hope of slowing him down. As I stood up and wrapped the towel around my shoulders, I realised that John was the only person missing.

I scanned over the bank, trying to see if he just hadn’t come to watch Pat and Garrett, but no, he was nowhere to be seen. Not by the cooler, not with the cars. I suddenly felt lost.

It’s like when you’re a child and you go round to a friend’s house after school and they leave you in the room with their family whilst they go to the bathroom. You begin to panic.

“Where’s John?” I cringed at the obvious worry in my tone.

Jared reluctantly turned to me, wanting to keep watching the boys, “He went for a walk- he always does it, it’s fine.”

Lucy did this to me all the time. She had a habit of it actually, she’d bring me places and then ditch me. But when she did it, there was a hint of anger within my throat, yet with John doing the same thing, I just wanted to find him. The last thing I wanted was for him to become my sense of comfort and normality outside the walls of my apartment, but now, in this situation, it was too late.

“Which way did he go?”

Jared quickly swung his arm towards a path that wound round the left side of the lake before yelling something at Pat and Garrett.

I didn’t even think to slip some shoes on or put my shirt back over my head, I just went straight in the direction Jared had sent me with the towel clung to my shoulders. The dry dust began to stick to the bottom of my feet and I had to dodge a few shards of glass and sharp stones. I’d eventually walked so far that I couldn’t hear the shouts and conversation of the rest of the group anymore.

I came to a fork in the path, one which carried on following the lake around and another that lead up onto a ledge. I quickly decided to up to the ledge, my calves screaming from the sudden incline I was forcing them to conquer.

The trees and shrubbery were making me nervous, Arizona wasn’t like England, life threatening creatures lurk in the trees over here, whereas back home, you’d be lucky to see a squirrel watching you from a branch.

I glanced to the trees on either side of me as I walked, not sure why though as if I did actually see a mountain lion staring back at me I don’t know what I would have done. It wasn’t long though until I saw him, bare back to the path and legs dangling over the ledge as he looked out over the lake. The baseball cap he’d been wearing all day sat by his side, next to a bottle of water that he’d brought with him. And for the millionth time today, I felt like I was intruding.

“John?” I said, my voice cracking on his name.

He quickly snapped himself around to look at me, first at my face and then slowly flicking his eyes over me.

“What are you doing?” He frowned, not finishing his sentence before turning back to how I’d found him.

I made forward, shrugging the towel tighter around my shoulders and lowered myself into the space next to him.

For a moment I forgot why I was here and just soaked in what was in front of me. The lake shimmered underneath the sun and the sky looked pale in comparison to its vibrancy.

“Amazing isn’t it?” He said, like he knew I’d just forgotten whatever else was going on.

I couldn’t say anything so I nodded instead before turning to look at him. I was met with the side of his face, a single freckle on his cheek the same colour as the rocks in the far distance behind.
“Why are you up here?” He gestured towards the view infront of us like he could sense that I was about to ask that question. I didn’t believe that he was up here solely for the view and he knew I didn’t.

“It’s just nice to get away, sometimes.” He said. I didn’t believe that either, he was always isolated, no matter where he went, as if being out with people would class as interaction even though he hid in the shadows when he was there. He knew that I wasn’t buying anything he was saying, “Where are your shoes?”

“I forgot to put them on.” I replied, dragging my eyes back to the lake.

It was almost as if he took my looking away as a swap so that he could now look at me. “If you stand on a scorpion, you’re fucked.”

Although there was an undertone of laughter in his words, he showed none at all when he spoke them. I shrugged.

“That would be unfortunate.” I said bluntly, earning a light chuckle from him that ignited my skin.
I could just about spot out the group from up there, they were like little shapes that could only be characterised by the hair. It looked like Jared just threw Pat into the water.

“You seem to be getting on pretty well with everybody.” I thought that he’d just seen what I’d seen, therefore he must have seen everything that happened before.

I chose to not delve into that. “Did you notice my made swimming skills?” I cocked my head and smirked, making eye contact with him for the first time since this morning.

It felt like I was swimming again, racing the guys, fighting laughter. My lungs were tight like at any second they’d rip and my entire body would be destroyed from the inside out.

“I did actually,” His eyes were brighter than they were a second a go, “Care to elaborate?” the tilt of his head as he smirked sent my stomach into the same state as my lungs.

“I won the championship for my highschool swim team,” I laughed, looking down at my pale knees next to the orange dirt.

“Wow,” John leant forward and rested his elbows on his lap, toying with a blade of grass in his hand. “That is impressive.”

I shook my head, “What about you, what did you do in highschool?”

He puffed out a laugh from behind his teeth and looked to the blade of grass in his fingers, “Nothing.” Again, I felt like this was a lie. “Nothing that matters anyway.” He added.

“Everything matters.” I said, choosing to keep my eyes on my knees as he turned to look at me, “Without every little stupid thing you did, believe it or not, you wouldn’t be exactly where you are now.”

He didn’t stop, I was waiting for him to say something else, avert his gaze to another space, but no, he just stayed there like he was frozen. I glanced up at him, keeping my head down though, hoping that the sudden eye contact would stop him, but it didn’t. Instead, I found myself getting consumed by his electric green eyes that at that moment in time, I found far more fascinating and visually stunning than any view I’d seen all day. I zoned in on the beads of sweat that lined his hair and focused on every freckle that I’d never seen before, but that this natural light allowed me.

“I guess so.” He said, his voice low and hushed like he didn’t want for even the trees to hear it.