Lovely Rita
Chapter 44
*Julie's POV again*
I breathed in heavily, filling my lungs with the scent of his jacket. It was what I imagined Heaven to smell like.
I revelled in the arms that were hugging me close to him. That feeling; it was what I imagined Heaven to feel like.
"No, Julie. You're alive, you're alive..." He said, almost out of desperation, like he was calling me to the surface of this unconsciousness. I rested my head on his shoulder limply with wide, burning eyes brimmed with tears.
I hadn't even got this right.
I pulled out of his tight embrace and looked him dead in the eye, tears trickling down both of our faces.
"Paul, I mess'd evrethin' up. I wanna go, I wanna rid you of me. I don't have rights to walk on the same planet as lovely Linda, let 'lone share her house. Let me die." I slurred in my drunken state, scrabbling to find the bottle I had left when I collapsed. Paul pulled me back to my previous position.
"Don't be so foolish. You're an asset to this world okay, baby, okay?" He said between sobs, resting his forehead on mine.
"Don't you ever say you don't deserve to be on this planet, because you do honey pie. You're going to do wonderful things, you're going to live, you're going to make some man very happy someday - sadly it might not be me, but you've already made my life happy in so many ways. You've touched all of us here. Noone would be better off without you." He smiled through sensitive tears.
I cried even more after that speech. My sobs were audible and I buried my face into his chest as he hugged me again.
I moved to face Paul, looking blearily into his eyes, not being able to focus on much. I leaned down to him and pecked his lips lightly, and when he returned it, I kissed him harder but slowly, trying to demonstrate all of the love I had for him still that I wanted him to keep forever, just so that he knew he was loved. That man deserved to know.
"Make love t'me, one las'time." I whispered into the kiss, and I glanced up to look at his eyes. They were in a contemplative state, but when I layed down he complied and rested himself on top of me.
"For old times' sake." He whispered, kissing me passionately as he undressed both me and himself as much as was possible in this cold.
*****
"Paul, I have to go. I have to leave here and stop you from straying." I said, as Paul held me up and I limped back to the car with him.
"I'll go to America. I'll sort myself out, get a job and earn some money, then maybe one day I can come back to see you all. But you have to promise me you'll always be true to your lady, okay? Linda's a very special woman, and she needs you more than anyone else in the world, so don't ruin it. Again I'm sorry for leading you astray. Hopefully when I come back we can all hang out together." I said.
It was strange. Being back in time for periods of time was making me forget things I knew about the future. I knew I had known stuff about it before, but I coldn't remember. I couldn't remember dates, not many events were clarified and I certainly couldn't remember much about my old friends, though I knew I had had them.
"Okay." Paul answered meekly as we reached the headlights that, to me, were incredibly piercing and bright. My headache raged and beat faster on my skull as I saw them.
"Is she okay?" I heard a small voice say. It was John. I smiled as I saw him approach.
"I'm fine." I slurred.
"You look a fuckin' state, chick." He said, laughing guardedly and giving Paul a concerned look as I draped from his arm. I made a stupid, drunken face at him and stifled a sore laugh.
"She wants to go to America, and I think that's be best. Just until things calm down and she can get herself back on track, get a job, that sort of thing. You up for an overnight trip to the airport, Johnny boy?" Paul asked, holding me up still. How sweet, they were going to stay with me overnight.
"But I won't get to say bubye to Georgie and Ringy." I said, making a sad face at Paul. He let out a little breath in place of an actual laugh.
"I'll make sure they know how much you'll miss them. They don't need to know the gory details." He said, half smiling as he helped me into his car and aided me with my seatbelt. John walked back to his car after asking Paul if he was okay, and I sat rigidly in my seat shivering from the intense cold that was actually hitting me now. It hadn't when I'd been drinking and on the ground. That was probably really dangerous...
"You ready?" He said, strapping his seatbelt in and sticking the keys in the ignition. I nodded meekly, feeling beaten up, tired and drained. And very, very dehydrated. He touched my leg, before moving to the gear stick and setting off, following John's car closely.
I breathed in heavily, filling my lungs with the scent of his jacket. It was what I imagined Heaven to smell like.
I revelled in the arms that were hugging me close to him. That feeling; it was what I imagined Heaven to feel like.
"No, Julie. You're alive, you're alive..." He said, almost out of desperation, like he was calling me to the surface of this unconsciousness. I rested my head on his shoulder limply with wide, burning eyes brimmed with tears.
I hadn't even got this right.
I pulled out of his tight embrace and looked him dead in the eye, tears trickling down both of our faces.
"Paul, I mess'd evrethin' up. I wanna go, I wanna rid you of me. I don't have rights to walk on the same planet as lovely Linda, let 'lone share her house. Let me die." I slurred in my drunken state, scrabbling to find the bottle I had left when I collapsed. Paul pulled me back to my previous position.
"Don't be so foolish. You're an asset to this world okay, baby, okay?" He said between sobs, resting his forehead on mine.
"Don't you ever say you don't deserve to be on this planet, because you do honey pie. You're going to do wonderful things, you're going to live, you're going to make some man very happy someday - sadly it might not be me, but you've already made my life happy in so many ways. You've touched all of us here. Noone would be better off without you." He smiled through sensitive tears.
I cried even more after that speech. My sobs were audible and I buried my face into his chest as he hugged me again.
I moved to face Paul, looking blearily into his eyes, not being able to focus on much. I leaned down to him and pecked his lips lightly, and when he returned it, I kissed him harder but slowly, trying to demonstrate all of the love I had for him still that I wanted him to keep forever, just so that he knew he was loved. That man deserved to know.
"Make love t'me, one las'time." I whispered into the kiss, and I glanced up to look at his eyes. They were in a contemplative state, but when I layed down he complied and rested himself on top of me.
"For old times' sake." He whispered, kissing me passionately as he undressed both me and himself as much as was possible in this cold.
*****
"Paul, I have to go. I have to leave here and stop you from straying." I said, as Paul held me up and I limped back to the car with him.
"I'll go to America. I'll sort myself out, get a job and earn some money, then maybe one day I can come back to see you all. But you have to promise me you'll always be true to your lady, okay? Linda's a very special woman, and she needs you more than anyone else in the world, so don't ruin it. Again I'm sorry for leading you astray. Hopefully when I come back we can all hang out together." I said.
It was strange. Being back in time for periods of time was making me forget things I knew about the future. I knew I had known stuff about it before, but I coldn't remember. I couldn't remember dates, not many events were clarified and I certainly couldn't remember much about my old friends, though I knew I had had them.
"Okay." Paul answered meekly as we reached the headlights that, to me, were incredibly piercing and bright. My headache raged and beat faster on my skull as I saw them.
"Is she okay?" I heard a small voice say. It was John. I smiled as I saw him approach.
"I'm fine." I slurred.
"You look a fuckin' state, chick." He said, laughing guardedly and giving Paul a concerned look as I draped from his arm. I made a stupid, drunken face at him and stifled a sore laugh.
"She wants to go to America, and I think that's be best. Just until things calm down and she can get herself back on track, get a job, that sort of thing. You up for an overnight trip to the airport, Johnny boy?" Paul asked, holding me up still. How sweet, they were going to stay with me overnight.
"But I won't get to say bubye to Georgie and Ringy." I said, making a sad face at Paul. He let out a little breath in place of an actual laugh.
"I'll make sure they know how much you'll miss them. They don't need to know the gory details." He said, half smiling as he helped me into his car and aided me with my seatbelt. John walked back to his car after asking Paul if he was okay, and I sat rigidly in my seat shivering from the intense cold that was actually hitting me now. It hadn't when I'd been drinking and on the ground. That was probably really dangerous...
"You ready?" He said, strapping his seatbelt in and sticking the keys in the ignition. I nodded meekly, feeling beaten up, tired and drained. And very, very dehydrated. He touched my leg, before moving to the gear stick and setting off, following John's car closely.