Lovely Rita

Chapter 57

"Why are we going to Arizona then, Mum?" Mary asked as we settled in our seats. I say settled; I was nervous, angry, frustrated and confused all at the same time. My mind was in such a state but I was trying to stay calm.

I breathed in to calm myself, as my heart was pounding so hard I thought I could hear it.
"Well, it dort of ties in with the reason I left Dunc." She nodded, showing she was intently listening.
"You know I'm good friends with the McCartneys?" I said.

"I remember meeting Paul McCartney when I was a kid, after Lennon died; he told me I was pretty. So I didn't know you were particulartly great friends. But carry on." She smiled. I knew she loved that I 'knew' him; she was a big fan. Living in my house she would be, obviously. Mention of John made me sad though.

"Well Paul's wife Linda has taken ill, and as his closest friend after John, he sent me a letter asking if I would come down. We'll have a driver waiting he said. Duncan didn't like that he had asked me to come and stay, and help out while he came to terms with everything - he was thinking I would betray him." I sniffed, beginning to cry and looking to my hands in my lap.
"He... he hit me earlier. I told him he didn't understand. That's why we're going." I whispered to keep my voice from breaking. I turned fully away to hide my tears from the daughter that knew me as a strong woman. I watched the pitch-black sky out of the window to distract my running mind.

"Mum, come here." Mary said, pulling me tight into a cuddle. I sobbed quietly into her shoulder and thought about everything.
"We'll get everything sorted out tomorrow and set him straight. Don't worry, I'm here. Paul will be there. We'll be fine." She whispered.

When we got off the plane, it was very late and I contemplated waiting until the morning to get to Paul's. I quickly decided against it, not wanting to spend a night in a hotel, even if it was the best money could buy. I also wanted to see him as soon as possible.

"Hello?" He said in as bewildered a voice as Mary had earlier. His voice had aged since his last phone call. It was a little croakier and less controlled, but his singing was still top notch from his recent albums. It was always beautiful though.

I had a sharp intake of breath as I heard his voice, that voice that had been at the forefront of my deepest, most lustful fantasies. I shoved that to the back of my mind.

"Paul?" I whispered in a mousy voice.

"Julie!" He exclaimed, sounding like he had been awake anyway. Poor thing. I know exactly what it's like not being able to sleep.

"We're in Arizona. Me and Mary, I mean. Do you want us to stop by tomorrow? I can grab a motel or something." I asked tenderly.

"I'll tell you what, if you come by now I'd really appreciate it. I could fix us some tea and munchies and we can sit and talk about everything while everyone's asleep. I can't sleep a wink." He said, the inflections in his voice shining through on the 'k' of 'wink'.

"Okay. There's not much to carry, I left in a hurry. I'll explain why when we get to you." I mumbled, wondering how much he was hiding about the upset he was facing.

"I'll send a car out for you two ladies. In a bit!" He said, signing off the phone call surprisingly jovially. I knew it was a facade. I knew my Paul. I felt like I was being cuddled all the while I was talking to him. Cuddles were something I missed while with Duncan. Me and Paul used to cuddle all of the time.
The driver showed up not long later, and the drive took less time than I was expecting. I thanked him and he drove away, parking the car in some unknown place on the property.

"You ready?" I asked my daughter, who looked nervously excited, though sad at the same time knowing someone was desperately ill inside this house.

"This is insane, but yes." She said quietly. I smiled at her.

I rapped on the door quietly, knowing Linda was probably asleep... or trying to. Paul answered after a brief pause.

"Sir Paul!" I said, winking at him to lighten the mood I knew was going to be prevalent. I had heard of his knighthood from him in a letter the previous year, so it was the first time I got to address him with it. He chuckled embarrassedly.

"Julie, Mary!" He said, addressing us both. He pulled me into a hug, and I could tell he had missed me. I hadn't seen him in person since John was killed, so it was a bit of a reunion.
He hugged Mary and we followed him inside his beautiful American home.

He had cut short the mullet he had donned through the 80s and it was greying quite dramatically. Luckily being a woman I could dye over my greys inconspicuously. His skin was still youthful looking, though signs of age were clear, as they were on me. We were both wrinklies now, though the luxury of having money and a youthful face mixed with veggie diets kept us looking younger than what we were.

"Linda has breast cancer." Paul said, twiddling his thumbs as we sat on the sofa. I covered my mouth and looked at Mary, who was sitting silently, not sure what to say. Not sure whether TO say anything.
I took his hand, which he was looking at intently. I wanted desperately to comfort him.

"Oh Paul... Paul I'm so sorry..." I whispered, crying again. He looked up at me, his own eyes brimming with salty droplets for what I imagined must be the millionth time.
"First your Mother and now... the love of your life." I said, looking at our hands to avoid his gaze when talking about love.

"She's declined recently and that's why I wrote you. I just needed someone, anyone, the one person apart from John that I knew I could talk to about anything and know I wouldn't be taken for a ride." He said, the emotion cracking his voice.
"I couldn't handle talking to the kids." He concluded. I wiped away my tears with my free hand then held his face, wiping the droplets from his cheeks.

"You've got both of us here too now Paul. Don't ever worry, you have legions of people who love you and care about your wellbeing. Ringo, George, me, Mary, your kids. Don't ever be afraid to talk to them. They probably need you just as much as you need them." I said, sniffing back tears.
"We've all suffered horrible losses in the past, so I can understand what you're going through." I said, biting my lip to keep from sobbing. This was heartbreaking. I couldn't cope with men crying, especially Paul.

I made tea for everyone, Paul showed us our rooms and we'd made our beds up (Paul's house was so large that we each had seperate guest rooms). We were sat under duvets in the living room and I was keeping close to Paul, not wanting him to feel alone at all, keeping hold of him to ensure he was okay. Mary was laid out asleep on the other sofa. I looked back and forth from Mary to Paul in that moment, and took in the similarities between my daughter and her father. I decided to do what my gut was telling me, and it was being very impulsive.

"Paul?" I whispered, nudging him out of his vacant television consumption. He looked down at me.

"Mm?" He said tiredly. I knew how he felt, he was tired but couldn't sleep. It plagued my life.

"Do you know why I named Mary how I did?" I said quietly and nervously.

"This is very out of the blue! Why?" Paul said, slinging his arm around me and rubbing my shoulder, making it warm under his hand.

"I named her after your Mother." I said, looking up at him. He was looking out front again, furrowing his eyebrows.

"That's sweet." He said, smiling.

"It's because... I named her after... after her Grandmother." I said finally. I waited for that to sink in. His arm retracted from over my shoulders.
"Paul I don't blame you at all, before you worry. She's beautiful, she's intelligent and a wonderful soul. You know that. I'm just sorry I didn't tell you sooner. She doesn't know at all." I said, as he chewed his fingernail, lost in his thoughts.

I moved in front of him to look him dead in the eye, holding his face to look at me.
"Paul? Speak to me." I whispered, feeling weepy again.

"I... I just... This is incredible... I mean I had noticed similarities and worked out that she must have been conceived around the time you left Liverpool... but I always thought you had just moved on quickly." He whispered, holding onto my face now. I think he was just in disbelief.

I chuckled slightly.
"Look at her. Sit with her. I want her to take your name. Coming here and seeing how much family means to you has made me want everything to come out. I hope you're not angry at me. I was just as shocked when I found out. The day the White album was released..." I said, reminscing.
"I think she'll find it insane that her Dad was a Beatle, a knight of the realm and... you." I said.

He chuckled.
"Why the Hell would I be angry, you silly girl?! We made a beautiful woman, a beautiful person... She's sleeping just over there." He gestured over to our daughter.
"We made her, together. It's just incredible that after 28 years..." Paul said, smiling at me and pulling me into a tight hug. I felt so much more at ease after telling him. We just needed to work out how to tell Mary. But since we were both going to have difficulty sleeping, I knew we could work it out tonight.
♠ ♠ ♠
AWWW LITTLE REUNION. But Linda... *sniff*