Hold Fast

The rest of the week went by in a very uneventful manner. Classes had picked up and I was sad to say that homework was taking more of my time that I would like to admit. Today was finally Friday and I was excited for tomorrow. Kellin had invited me over to his house to play video games and hang out for a while. I had asked Mike if he wanted to go with me, but he said that he, Jaime and Tony were going to head to the lake for the weekend to go camping. I figured they made these plans after Kellin had asked me to come over, not wanting to invade. I thought it was silly, but a nice gesture in the end.
I was feeling kind of nervous as I walked up to the front door. I’m not sure why exactly, but I felt like I might do something stupid and insult his parents or something. My hand was shaking slightly as I went to knock on the door. A few seconds later, a tall, thin woman answered the door. She had the same dark hair and bright blue eyes as Kellin. She smile at me in a warm welcome.
“Hi, you must be Vic, come on in.” She stepped aside, letting me walk in through the door. “Kellin, you’re friend is here!”
“Coming!” Kellin called from upstairs. A moment later he appeared from the hallway, a cheesy grin on his face. “Come on up.”
“Thank you.” I turned to his mom before walking towards the stairway. Kellin waited for me to get to the top before practically dragging me down the hallway and to his room. I was slightly surprised by how much it looked like mine. He had posters covering almost every inch of his walls accompanied by some pictures of people I assumed were old friends. He had a desk in the corner of his room with a pile of notebooks on it. The bed was a bit of a mess, which was okay with me considering I hated making mine. The only thing that really caught me off guard was the acoustic guitar sitting in the corner by his nightstand.
“I didn’t know you played.” I walked over to take a look at it. It was a nice light color with a few contrasting dark designs engraved on it.
“Yeah a little.” He laughed before picking it up and sitting on his bed. “A few friends and I wanted to start a band…but then we moved.” I took a seat on the edge of his bed as he strummed a few notes.
“Play me something.” He looked up at me, a little unsure. “Please.” He began to play a soft melody. The sound was intricate but the way he was playing made it sound delicate and fragile. I was so wrapped up in the sounds from the guitar that I didn’t realize that he was about to sing. My eyes flew to his face, watching him sing and concentrate on the movement of his fingers against the strings. I was completely mesmorized by it. His voice was one of the most calming that I have ever heard. When he finally finished, I was too stunned to speak. He looked at me, waiting.
“That was…” I couldn’t find the right words.
“It wasn’t anything special.” He turned and set the guitar down.
“No, Kellin, really, that was amazing.” His face lit up a little. “Beautiful even.”
“Thanks.” I could see a little blush creep onto his face. He quickly turned away, trying to hide it before it spread. We sat that way for a few minutes, the silence growing slightly awkward as my brain had a field day. The more that I learned about Kellin just seemed to confuse me. I guess you could call me crazy for thinking these things about someone I had known for just about a week. (Well if you don’t count meeting him two years ago.) I shook the thoughts from my head. It wouldn’t matter what I felt anyway, it didn’t mean that Kellin would be okay with it. As far as I knew, Kellin was straight and I was just confused.
“Hey, you wanna play some games. I have the original Mario Kart for the 64.” His question pulled me from my thoughts.
“Yeah, sure.” We stood and walked from his room, down the hallway and into what I figured was his game room. We had a room like this in our house, but my dad had turned it into his office. It made me wonder what Kellin’s father did. Speaking of which, I’ve never heard Kellin mention his dad, only his mom. I was about to ask when I saw the joy filled expression on his face as he pulled out the game system. I didn’t want to risk bringing up something that might take that expression off of his face. His smile was something that I secretly cherished.
“Come on, Vic. You’re lagging.” Kellin tossed me a controller and I sat next to him. “You’re going down, Fuentes.”
“In your dreams.” Let the games begin.

We must have raced about 20 times before we decided to take a break. Kellin’s mom had made us some lunch and we were currently at his kitchen table talking about school. His mom had asked about how he was adapting and we told her about classes and about Jaime, Tony, and Mike.
“Yeah, speaking of which, where are they anyway?” Kellin asked.
“Mike said that they were heading to the lake.” I answered in between bites of my food.
“Oh, well that’s cool.”
“Yeah.” I wonder what Kellin would think if I told him why they had made these last minute plans. I had the feeling that Mike was hoping that something would happen.

After lunch, we headed back up to the game room for a few more rounds of Mario Kart. We were pretty equally matched at the game, both of us having won ten races each. We decided against a tie breaker and headed for Kellin’s room. I walked over to his guitar and picked it up. He gave me a confused look. I began to play. I decided on an older song, Careless Whisper by Seether. He sat down and listened to me play and softly sing the words. It was one of my favorite songs and I had randomly gotten the urge to sing it.
I finished and looked up at him. He had moved from his previous spot at his desk and was sitting in front of me on his bed. I saw the look on his face and my breathing almost stopped. He was staring at me, his mouth slightly agape. I placed the guitar next to me on the bed as he moved closer. I felt my breathing quicken slightly as he moved closer. I glanced at his lips nervously then back to his eyes. They had a burning look in them. As we were just a breath away from our lips touching, Kellin’s mom called his name from downstairs.
“Kellin! I need your help for a second.”
“Be right there!” he called back. We had pulled away from each other, deep red blushes covering both of our faces.
“I uh…should get going.” I stammered.
“Y-yeah. I’ll see you later then.” He nodded nervously. We headed downstairs and I thanked his mom for having me over. She smiled before inviting me back any time. I turned and waved goodbye to Kellin before leaving.
The short walk home seemed to last forever as my mind wandered. It felt surreal. I felt like I had been dreaming. The fact that I was unsure of what was actually about to happen, excited me, gave me hope. Earlier in the day, I had officially decided that I liked Kellin, but that I wasn’t necessarily gay. There was just something about him that seemed to make my mind go crazy every time we were together.
I sighed inwardly as I walked up to my house. No one was home, which didn’t surprise me, so I went straight to my room. I walked to my desk and pulled out one of my notebooks. My notebooks were filled with mostly my thoughts and memories, but recently I had been filling one with songs and poems. I laid it out on the desk, grabbed a pen, and let it flow across the paper. The funny thing about my writing style is that I don’t think about it. I just let it happen and most of the time it turns out fairly well.
I must have been writing for a long time because when I looked up, the sky had grown dark. I turned to look at my clock: 8:26. I had been writing for nearly three hours. I heard the front door open and then close again, signally the return of my parents. Figuring they were probably tired from their day, I opted for a movie before going to bed. By the time I was actually falling asleep, Kellin was on my mind again. His image crept its way into my dreams, and I’ll admit, it was a pleasant surprise.