Anarchy Is Our Only Hope

A hot afternoon was hanging over Charming.

"I'm sweating like a whore in church!"  I shouted across the lot of Teller-Morrow.

I stretched back against the wooden table in which I sat.

"I once had sex with a whore in church! " Tig retorted.

"Tig, in the house of god? Shame on you!" I exclaimed.

The sun was brazen,the air was dry, and the wind barely struck a stiff breeze.

I peered over my sunglasses, and watched Jax change the engine of an old red Toyota.

This morning he and I had a discussion concerning my mother.

"I think we should take her to Fresno."  He said as he put an ice pack against my face.

He would continue on to say that she needed to leave town; he knew Tim would be relentless in his pursuit of her.

"Are you crazy? I don't know those people."

"Listen, they're the smallest chapter we have in California. They can watch over her while we figure this Tim thing out."

"But--"

"Do you trust me?" He quickly cut me off.

"I... Okay, let's do it."

That was it, we had settled it. We spoke it over with Millie; she was timid about it but over all fine with being miles out of Tim's grasp.

Jax and I were letting time run down.

Millie had gone to return the car home and get all of her belongings.

We were to pick her up at four thirty from the house.

In the meantime, I would try to enjoy the day.

I felt the wood shift, someone had joined me on the bench.

"You look like hell, kid." Gemma said as she lit up a cigarette.

"Thanks, I hadn't looked in a mirror yet, I needed the update."

"That's what I'm here for, babe."

She shook her ashes into a nearby tray.

"Nelly, I like you.. I really do but let me make something clear."

A lump had formed in my throat.

"My boy will always be my first priority. If you think i'm gonna let him drag himself through hell and back for you, you're wrong."

"What do you --."

"That boy is in love with you, I see it. He sees you now as a broken little dove; now he'll do what he can to protect you. You are his but sweetheart.."

She lowered her voice. "He will always be mine."

"Gemma I---."

Once again, cut off by a Teller.

"Your step daddy is a sheriff's son.. If Jax gets riled up enough he'll do whatever it takes to end him. Don't let him take it there, you stop him before he does something that will land him in prison."

She continued. "So, as his woman, you protect him. You don't let him go overboard, and you definitely don't let him put bullets in ol' Timmy's brain."

I cleared my throat and prepared myself.

"Gemma, I don't know what you're getting at but I am no one's broken toy. I've had my own back all my life, and if I wanted a bullet in Tim's head I'd do it myself. Don't worry Jax will be very well taken care of."

I jumped off the table.

"Look, I respect you Gemma but if Jax wants to be mine, he will be and that's that."

I pushed my sunglasses back up the bridge of my nose.

"And by the way, I really like you too."

I walked away from her. Sure, in that moment I felt empowered..

But as I walked away; I felt guilt.

Gemma had opened her doors for me, fed me, has taken care of me on multiple instances.

But she needed to know, I would never put Jax in a situation that would hurt him.

She also wasn't gonna walk over me, no one was.

For the moment, I'd shrug it off and talk it over with her later.

Gemma doesn't hate me, that much I know.

Although now she may...

"Hey baby."  

Jax said as he wiped his oily hands on a dirty red rag.

He placed his hand around my waist and pulled me in.

"You smell like a fifty year old man."

He chuckled. "You wanna go wash up?" the words fell from his lips as slick as the oil he worked with.

"Hm..sounds like fun but it's already three."

He sighed heavily, a one sided grin crossed his face. "One of these days, Nel. One of these days."

He tossed the rag over his shoulder and walked to the apartment.

I watched him disappear behind the walls.

Should I follow him? Should I just let him shower so we can go?

Ah, fuck it. Mom said this week was full of long shifts for Tim, he wouldn't be home for hours!

When i'd reached the apartment Jax was already in the shower.

I pulled off my clothes, and slid in quietly.

I pressed myself against him, and wrapped my hands around his chest; I slowly drug my nails down his body.

He turned to face me, his hands cupped around my cheeks.

His tender lips took mine with no mercy; the urgency of his kisses were unbearable.

Each section of skin needed to be touched, ached to be kissed, desired to be given a moment of rapid tenderness.

My hands coursed along the bridge of his shoulder blades. His skin was warm under my touch, he hoisted my weight around his waist, my legs coiled around him.

I felt him against my thigh, he pushed me back against the shower wall.

His lips moved down my neck feverishly, and back up again.

Our breathing had become ragged, quick and heavy. My fingers became tangled in his blonde hair, I needed him.

He looked into my eyes, I gave him a reassuring look.

His hands rested on my hips, he tilted them under his.

I gasped. "Oh god."

The hot water kept running, and Jax and I kept going.

His thrust were slow, smooth, and relaxed at first.

I brought his lips back to mine, we let our lips meld into each other's.

Time felt warped.

"Fuck." he moaned as his thrust got became harder, faster, the strokes were shorter.

Each thrust created less control.

I bit softly into his shoulder, mostly to hide a moan that would have alerted everyone.

Jax slammed his hips into mine, over and over again.

A harsh knock hit the bathroom door, so harsh I thought the door would come flying off it's hinges.

"Fucking Chirst!" Jax shouted as he thrusted one last time.

He wasn't finished and neither was I.

"Aye, Jax! It's three thirty, you gotta get on the road!" Chibs said from behind the door.

He grunted. "I'm coming."

I began laughing like hyena, between cackles I managed to say. "No you're not."

"Oh, uh, is Nelly in there?!"

Jax looked at me quizzically, I shrugged my shoulders.

"I'll be out in a minute!" Jax shouted.

He looked at me, pleading eyes for just a few more minutes.

I placed my hands on his wet chest.

"He's right, we should go." I looked up into his warm blue eyes.

"You shouldn't have come in here." he said, that cheeky grin smeared on his face.

"Oh, but I did." I kissed his lips.

"You just live to torture me, woman." he pushed the wet hair out of my face.

My lips explored the stretch of his neck.

"Absolutely, I just like making you wait to reach the finish line, bub."

I reached for the towel then wrapped it around myself.

Jax stood there, just leaning against the wall in all is naked glory.

"Do you think standing there with your dick in the air is gonna help?"

"That's what I'm hoping for, darlin'."

"Well, it's not. Get dry and get dressed!"

I tossed the towel I had wrapped around myself at him and walked into his room.

On the way to my home there was countless inappropriate touches, we made it there without crashing the car into the ditch.

"Jax. Stop. Touching. Me." I said through gritted teeth, it was to hard to hide my smile.

I hopped out of the truck and ran toward the door.

Jax grabbed me and pinned me against the hood.

He said nothing, his blue eyes bounced back and forth. He ran his thumb across my bottom lip.

"I love you."  

The words left my lips before I had time to think.

He smiled, not a slick one, not a cheeky one, just a sincere smile.

"I love you too."

"I was gonna say I love your shoes."

"Shut up." He placed his mouth over mine.

"Alright, get off me you big lug." I grinned and pushed him off.

I walked to the front door and slid the key in.

"You know, you act all tough but you're a softie, Jackson Teller."

I heard the click and pushed the door open.

"Oh my god."

My mouth dropped.

The house was a mess, the sofas out of place, dishes were strewn about the house.

A chair was broken in two halves, pictures that hung on the wall now laid on the floor.

Broken glass was everywhere, nothing was where it once was.

"Mom?"

No answer.

Unease settled in my chest.

"Mom?!"

That's when I saw it.

Blood was filling in a pool just by the corner of the couch.

I dropped to my knees, my breath was caught in my throat.

"Mom?" I said in a voice just barely above a whisper.

This was a dream, it had to be, no I knew it was!

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I felt someone shake me, I smiled in relief.

"It was a dream, right?"