Anarchy Is Our Only Hope

Except it wasn't a dream, and the shaking wasn't someone waking me up.

Instead, it was Jax pulling me away from my mothers' cold body.

I'd blacked out, I'd lost my sight and sanity.

When I opened my eyes I was clung to my mother, just as a newborn does.

"No! Get off of me! Get off!" I heard a voice say.

It sounded like my own, it echoed through the battle torn house

The words didn't feel like they were mine, and I myself didn't feel my lips moving.

My heart was collapsing into the pit of my stomach.

I didn't remember how to breathe, I struggled for air to fill my lungs.

"It's my fault! I did this! I did this!" There went that voice again.

I shook the cold body that laid there, a knife plunged deep into the womb.

Tears fell like waves crashing into the shore.

I knew these things were happening but I felt nothing.

Nothing but ache and pain.

This form of heartache hurt worse than any time Tim laid his hands on me.

"Mommy, please, please, come back."

The voice was so sad, the cracks in it where louder than the words themselves.

It sounded like a child, a child lost in a store.

This was the moment where a loudspeaker would announce the child's whereabouts.

Except no mother would come to claim it, the child was left alone.

She was gone, my mother was gone.

I was the child left alone, the last of the Fitzgerald's.

My mother had no brothers or sisters, and Tim had cut her communications from her parents a long time ago.

My grandparents were in their seventies the last time I'd seen them.

As far as I was concerned, they were dead.

I was by myself in this world.

"The police are on their way."

This voice was different, this voice was Jax's.

I placed my head on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so, so, sorry." The little voice whispered.

I pulled myself away and crawled to the nearest wall.

Jax sunk down next to the floor, he pulled me into him. I buried my head into his chest, continuing to sob violently.

"Shh.. It's gonna be okay.. It's gonna be okay.." he cooed as his hands caressed the back of my head.

Sirens wailed in the background, they were coming closer.

As my consciousness began to rise to surface; I began feeling more than heartache.

I felt vengeance and bloodlust; I wanted Tim's head on a chopping block, and I would have it, by any means necessary.

The sirens were at my door..

I stood up and marched right outside, if they were coming to me, I was gonna give them a piece of my mind.

Sheriff Jeremy Wallace was outside, his and three other cop cars parked on the lawn.

"You stupid cunt!" I shouted for the entire neighborhood to hear.

I raised my hand to slap him, Jax grabbed it before it even reached Jeremy's miserable flesh.

"Leave her be, boy." He raised his hand in protest of Jax.

This boiled my blood.

"Why are you here?! You didn't give a fuck when she was alive, don't bother now that she's dead!" I spat in his face.

"Darling, we gotta go in there and inspect---."

"FOR WHAT?" I continued. "And don't call me darling, you son of a bitch."

"We gotta investigate the scene."

"Do you want me to tell you who did it?
Your fucking spawn! Hell, I'm sure he probably already told you! You're just gonna cover it up; just like you did with us for all those years!"

"You're clearly grieving. Boy, take her aside while we go in there."

"You don't touch her! Don't touch her!"

I launched myself toward him, only to be tugged back by Jax.

Jax's grip had to be strong because I just kept hurling myself at Jeremy to no success.

"Can my men go in?" Jeremy asked.

"Go."  I said coldly.

The other six officers held their heads down as they walked past me.

I scoffed at each one.

Jax guided me to the side of the house, he leaned me back against the fence; his back was facing Jeremy.

"Nelly, listen to me." he placed his hands on either side of my face.

"You're hurting, but getting yourself thrown in fucking jail isn't gonna help. You need to calm down, that guy will fuck you over if you don't."

He buried my head in his chest and whispered into my ear. "I'm gonna take care of it, you have to trust me. I promise you.. We will end Tim."

I sobbed into him.

"Jax, my mom is dead."

He couldn't say much, he just kept trying to soothe me.

He placed his index finger under my chin, forcing my gaze onto his.

"I'm here for you, babe." he tucked my hair behind my ear. "I will always protect you."

He pressed his lips against my forehead. "I love you, Nelly."

"I love you too."

I placed my hand on his cheek; gently stroking the side of his face.

"Nelly, my shit for you is crazy, like an I gotta be with you every minute kind of crazy...my life just wouldn't be the--."

I smiled weakly. "Shh, stop rambling."

I placed my lips upon his, a soft, subtle kiss.

He pulled out his phone and started to make phone calls.

The men where here in an hour, and so was Gemma.

She rushed over to me, and hugged me so tightly that air was knocked out of me.

We crashed down into the grass, like this afternoon never happened.

And she said. "We'll have his head on a god damn plate."

The investigation leaked into the night.

Chibs pulled me away from everyone else.

"Nelly.." he choked. "Nelly, I'm so sorry for your loss."

He wiped his eyes. "I'm gonna be here for you, lovey. We are family, you understand me?"

He weeped for me in my moment of mourning.

I realized something, they were my family now.

No one left my side, the whole club was here, and everyone conspired on what should be done.

Bobby mentioned something about castration, Chibs suggested we burn him alive.

To which Piney responded, "He's gonna be a pussy and whine, only burn him if he takes it like a man."

Jeremy would toss looks of disgust toward us.

When my mothers' body was being carted outside, yet another fit of rage ignitated.

Jeremy had reached for the slip, exposing her to the cruelty of the world she once knew.

"Get your fucking pig hands off her!" I raced toward her.

I pushed Jeremy out of the way, pulling the slip back over her face.

"Nelly!" Jax shouted.

"No, Jax! He can't touch her!"

"Go on, listen to your master." said Jeremy.

Jax had jogged over and heard the last bit.

"What the fuck did you say to her?"

"Boy, don't concern yourself with things that don't involve you."

"Well, old man, this does concern me."

Jax stepped out infront of me. "'Now, what did you say to her?"

"I told the bitch to go to her master."

Jax swiped his thumb across his nose, with a smile and a chuckle he said. "Fuck it."

He hurled a punch directly to Jeremy's face.

The crowed irrupted, everyone was scattering in our general direction.

Chibs pulled Jax off Jeremy, the remaining officers had their guns pointed at us.

"Put your guns down!" screamed Jeremy. "They are kids; just kids grieving is all."

The officers put their guns down, returning to the matter at hand.

"You may have them fooled." Jax spoke lowly. "but we aren't, so you watch your back.. Cause we're coming for you."

"Is that a threat, boy?"

"You bet it is, you filthy fucking cop."

Jax walked away from him.

"Someone, make sure he keeps his fucking hands off of my mother!" I exclaimed to no one in general.

A man came and stood by her, his face was familiar.. and then it hit me.

It was Deputy Cheif Rosen.

Except back when I knew him he was a regular officer.

"Mommy, why are we here?"

Officers shuffled around the room, they were loud, noisy, and a little smelly.

"Baby, I'm just here to talk to an old friend."

She readjusted the sunglasses against her crooked nose.

A man walked up to her and I.

"Millie, I haven't seen you since --."

Words froze on his lips at her appearance.

"Can we talk somewhere in private?" She asked.

"Sure, sure. Let's go outside."

My mother grabbed my hand and led me.

"Chase, please, you have to help me." mom said in a hushed tone.

He reached for her hands and cupped them in his. "What do you need, Millie?"

"We need protection. No one here even gives us the time of day, I have to protect my daughter."

"Millie, I don't know what to do.." He trailed off.

"Can't you bring him in? Just for a few hours.. We just need a head start."

"You know the minute I bring him in he'll go right back out."

"I just need an hour, two hours max. I have to get Nelly out of here... It's not safe for us.. Soon he'll take it out on her."

He sighed heavily. "I can't make any promises but I'll see what I can do."

That was nine years ago..

So now, he stood by her side. Defying his leader, finally he protected her.

The night was coming to a close.. I could barely keep my eyes open but I had to stay until she was taken to the morgue.

That time was coming, and I was again reduced to the crying lost child.

Jax walked me over to the body, just to say goodbye one last time.

Tears welled in my throat, my chest felt like an empty cavity that weighed like an anchor to a ship.

I pulled up the sheet, her face was serene.

She had no sadness, no pain; she would feel fear no longer.

I brushed my fingers along her forehead. "Goodbye mom."

I walked away for good.

A new life was beginning, and there was only one way it could start.

Tim had to die, and I had to be the one to do it.