Anarchy Is Our Only Hope

"What are you doing home so fucking late?!"

My step father's screams bellowed through out the house.

"It's eight o'clock Tim, why don't you calm your fucking tit."

A backhand flew right at me, sending a stinging pain through my cheek.

"Who the fuck are you talking to like that little bitch?"

"Well obviously you, you drunk piece of shit."
 
Another blow, this was gonna end in yet another bruise.

I looked around while Tim yelled at me for being late.

Simply for missing the dinner my mom had made.

And then I spotted her, she sat in a corner her face buried in her hands.
She sobbed continuously. 

"Shut the fuck up, bitch!" 

Tim turned to face my mother. 

"Hey, fuck you Tim!" 

I pushed myself off from against the door.

One would ask, why do I antagonize the drunken beast?

Yes, there was a point where I would cry and suffer at the pain that was handed to me.
I realized that would give him the satisfaction, the pleasure of knowing he won.
It was a cross I could not bare.

"Tim, get the fuck over it! It was diner not a fucking life or death situation." 

"Your mother slaved over that stove you ungrateful shit!"

"And look at how you repaid her Tim, you beat her ass into a corner!"

"Shut your fucking mouth!" 

He ran towards me and grabbed my face in between his hand. 

"You're the real piece of shit Tim, face it."

He squeezed my face harder.

"You are in entitled little bitch, you have a phone. Use it if you're gonna be late!"

"You have booze breath, why don't you get out of my face."

"We pay for that phone bill!"

"Correction, you do not. I pay for my phone bill. So I will call who I want when I want!"

I removed his grip from my face and began my trek upstairs.

"You get back here! I'm not finished with you!"

"But I am with you, Tim."
 
I slipped him the middle finger and opened my door.

I had three locks in the back of my door and I used every one.
If Tim decided he wanted to assault me further he would have to break down the door.

In that time I would have time to escape, down the window into the bush below.

I looked at myself in the mirror that hung upon my door.

"Oh fuck, that's gonna be a nasty bruise." 

I touched the skin that rose, it stared at me bright red and inflamed.

"Do I even have a cover up for this?"

I shrugged, I no longer cared to look at it. 
It was a problem I would deal with tomorrow.

I threw myself in bed, and began to drift off to sleep.

"Beep..Beep..beep.. BEEP!"

I grabbed my alarm and tossed it at the wall.

"Fuck me." 

I sighed and began to get out of bed.
Once I saw the reflection in the mirror, I nearly gasped.

A purple sheen covered the left side of my face.
I ran my fingertips across it, no way I could go into school today.

I made my way downstairs, my mom was just finishing breakfast.

"Good morning, Nelly!" 

Tim said with a smile, but once he saw my face it was a look of shock that soon crossed over.

"Oh my gosh, what happened to your face?"

"You happened." 

I was uninterested in his next day remorse, I had lived in this for far too long.

"No, no, no. Impossible"

"Possible."

"Oh my gosh." 

He just kept repeating.

"Was it another blackout drunk binge, Tim?"

He said nothing.

"Exactly, I don't need another empty apology, so save it."

"I'm so--"

I cut him off.

"What did I just say?"

He once again said nothing, just stared at his empty plate.

"Breakfast is -- oh my god, sweetie." 

It was all she could mutter when she looked at me.

Tears began forming in her eyes, I was not about to sit at a table filled with stares and awkward silence.

"I'm eating in my room."

No one said anything.

I grabbed my food and went upstairs.

Tim left for work ten minutes later, and he wouldn't be back till much later in the night.

I much preferred the days where he worked till almost twelve am.

My mom and I would often enjoy those days.
We would watch tv, actually talk to each other.

You would think there wasn't a drunken psychopath living in our midst.

Time flew as I solely just sulked in bed.

Then I remembered Jaxs.
Jaxs probably thought I was standing him up.

"Well now I just look like a bitch."
I said to no one in particular.

It's not like I could call him and tell him.

I would hope he wouldn't just show up, I don't want anyone to see me this way.

Within the same time it took to think that thought, I heard a motorcycle engine roaring in the near distance.

"Fuck me." 

I rushed to my dresser and pulled out any make-up I had stashed.

"Amen, concealer!" 
I began spreading it over the purple abrasion. 

It smoothed out and blended into my skin, not a peak of purple in sight.

I grabbed a vintage Motley Crüe t-shirt and slipped on a pair of high waisted jeans.

And then I heard the motorcycle pull up on the sidewalk.

I ran downstairs and screamed out to my mom.

"I'll be back in a little while! Love you, bye."

Jaxs was in the middle of pulling off  his helmet as he turned to face me.. 
He tucked his blonde hair behind his ear, the harsh wind blew it back out.

"All hail the Crüe." 
He spoke with his raspy tone, and did a playful bowing gesture.

I bore a silly grin.

"Absolutely." 

"I drove past your school, you weren't there."

I faked a cough followed by a grin that disputed other wise

"I was sick." 

"You played hooky and didn't even call me?"

"Well Jaxs, I don't have your number."

"I'll have to fix that."

"Who told you I wanted it?

"Well by bringing it up, it implies that you want it?"

"Psh no." 
I shook my head.

"Well you gonna stand there all day or are we grabbing a bite?"

"Alright, alright."

He extended his arm out, helmet in hand.
I pulled my long brown hair to one side and slipped the helmet on.

He drove nearly thirty minutes out of town.

"Where are we going?"

"Don't worry about it."

"I have to worry, what if you're kidnapping me?" 

"It's not kidnapping if you came willingly."

"That's not what I'll tell the police."

"Well if you're gonna call them do it after we eat, huh?"

I laughed and nearly fell off the moving motorcycle, I clung to Jaxs' waist.

After another five minutes he pulled into the parking lot of a tiny wooden place.
It was a hole in the wall, had he driven past it I probably wouldn't have seen it at all.

"What is this place?"

"It's the place for the best chicken wings in town."

We walked in side by side, the place was decked out with American memorabilia.
A large American flag covered one wall in it's entirety.

The other wall had photos of different men, some on motorcycles, some in uniform.
It was quite the imitation of the men inside.
Army men and bikers.

"Ah so this is why you've been here."
 
I pointed to a group photo of nine men with Sons of Anarchy logo's on their back. 

"My dad is the one in the middle." 

He tapped the man with brown hair down to his shoulders and a goatee marked with just the slightest of gray hairs.

He looked like a man free of worry, no fear of anything. 
Just a man and his friends.

"Died in 1993, I was fifteen."

He pointed to another man.

"That my step dad, Clay."

"Oh wow, I'm slightly intimidated by these guys."

"Only slightly?"
He laughed.

"Let's grab a table."

He was known by everyone, and everyone known by him.
You could tell he felt at home here.

"Jacky boy!"  
A man with a Scottish  accent in his mid-thirties approached us.

"Chibsss." 
Jax embraced him in a hug.

"Nelly, this is Chibs. He's a part of the Sons"

I extended my hand intending to shake his hand, he pulled me into a hug instead.

"What's with the formality darlin'? Any friend of Jaxs is a friend of mine!"

I let out a nervous laugh.

I hardly noticed the significantly younger blonde at his side.

"Oh Jaxs, this is Kandy. The  lady for the evenin'!"

Jax just waved, I followed in suit.

"We've gotta go, can't make the lady unhappy." 

He winked and went on his way.

Jaxs and I sat down on wooden benches, and within a minute a platter of wings was at the table.

"Thanks, Boston." 

He thanked the waitress, whom must have gotten her restaurants confused.

She was dressed like a Hooter's hussy, with shorts just barely concealing her ass cheeks.

"That was fast."

"Yeah, I come here often. Boston knows these wings are my favorite."

"So considerate that Boston."

"You Jealous?" 
He grinned.

"Absolutely not." 
I reached for a wing. 

Me? Jealous? Ha! Fat chance.
I took a bite out of chicken wing, and instantly my taste buds sparked back to life. 

"Holy shit, that's hot!"

My eyes watered, as I pat my mouth with a napkin.
My lips tingled with the spice of the chicken, but they were incredibly delicious. 

"They are good though?"

"Mm the best wings I've ever tasted."

"Do I know food or what?"
He smirked.

"Don't boast yourself kid, two places doesn't make you a food expert." 
I joked.

"I can prove my point again tomorrow."

"Let's just see how today goes?" 
I smiled.

I did want to see him again tomorrow, but did I want to come off as such?

He was fun to be around, he did know food and if tomorrow would welcome another amazing place to eat...
Maybe I would have to see him again, just one more day of Jax Teller couldn't hurt right?

"You have sauce in your beard."
I reached over the table with a napkin, patting out the red sauce from his blonde beard.

"That's old lady material!" 
Some man behind the bar yelled.

"Why don't you mind your business?" 

Jax's grinned, his cheeks may or may not have blushed a light shade of pink. 

But I doubt that, my eyes were probably still searing from the chicken wings.

We finished our platter and made our way out of the hole in the wall.

"There's a park across the street, wanna hang there for a while?"

"Sure." 
I tucked my hands into the back pockets of my jeans.

We walked along a pathway of the park.

"So, what is it about motorcycles that attracts you?"

Jaxs face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"You can't explain the feeling, it's like all your thoughts are laid out there on the pavement. You have freedom, you're in control of yourself."

"I kind of got a sense of that."

"Well riding bitch is only half of that."
He stammered.

"I gotta show you, stay here. "

He ran across the street and rode his bike up to the pathway.
He locked it down.

"Get on."

"I don't know how to drive that!"

"I'm gonna teach you."

"Hell fuck no."

"Stop being a baby and get on!"

I walked over towards the steel two wheeler.

"Fine."
I crossed my leg over the seat.

"Now hold on the the handlebars."

I did as told.

"The gas is here."
He slapped both hands against the ends of the handlebar.

"The brakes, here."
He placed his hand on a lever in front of the gas.

He went on and on about what to do, and what not to do.
I picked up information by the bits.
I mostly just wanted to rev up and go.

"Alright, alright! Can I go now?"

"Where's your brakes."

"Here and here."
I clutched the lever, and stepped on the foot brake.

"Okay go!"

I turned the handle, the engine roared under me.
I did not move.

"What the fuck?"

Jax burst into an uncontrollable laughter.

"Your hand is on the brake!"

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Why didn't you know?!"
He continued to laugh at my expense.

"Kiss it."
I puckered my lips and smacked my bum.

He waved dismissively and pointed at the gas.

"Go again."

I turned the gas towards myself and off I sped.

Jaxs was right, you could not put into words the feeling you got off riding this bike.

I kept going faster until I nearly lost control.

"Jaxs! Jaxs!"

He ran behind the bike and hopped on.

"Fuck! Fuck!"

Jaxs eased his hands atop of mine.
He gripped the clutch and the bike came to an immediate stop.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Jaxs."

"Hey, you didn't run the bike into a tree. You did a good job for your first time."

His hands still rested upon mine, and I hardy noticed until the tingle under my skin rose up again.

"Um.. Still.. Sorry."

"We'll try again another day, kid."

"I guess I got a little.. Excited."
I said with a shrug of my shoulders and a slight grin.

"But you understand what I mean now?"

I nodded.

"On a highway you can go at that speed and just let it take you."

"Except not that far, there are cars in the road."

He chuckled.

He then realized that his hand rested on mine just a little too long.
He pulled his away and got off the bike.

"Let's keep walking."

I than followed in suit and leaned the bike against a post.

He and I continued along the pathway, talking about things we liked, things we hadn't liked.

He told me more about the MC, as he referred to them.
The men in the picture on the wall were the first nine men who started the club.

"So there has been more charters than just Redwood?"

"Yep, there's even one in Belfast."

"No way!" 

He nodded his head as a yes.

We kept on this way for another hour, joking and getting to know each other better.

"So what's an old lady, like a grandma or a mom or something?"

 I began rambling.
"Cause yeah I can kind of see where wiping sauce of your chin could look that way. I didn't mean to-."

Jax cut me off.

"No, an old lady is like your girl, She takes care of ya."

"Oh..."

"Well yeah, I mean I don't want you to think I'm trying to make you my old lady or something."

 it was now his turn to ramble. 

"Not that I'm saying you're not good enough for that because I'm not better than you or anything. You're a nice girl and all, but that's moving really q-."

I cut him off. 

"I get what you mean alright, no need to becoming rambling Ralph." 
I laughed.

"Me? Rambling Ralph, nah you were rambling way more than me." 

He playful poked my side.

"Oh Psh. Nu-uh." 

I in turn playful pushed him.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"I gotta keep your arms in close watch, don't want you going off and pushing me again."

"Any excuse to touch me, ehy?"

"Whatever strokes your ego, kid."

We reached the end of the pathway and now needed to pick a new one.

Possibly metaphorically speaking and literally so.

"Nel?"

"Yeah Jaxs?"

"Um.."

Before he could finish his sentence rain started pouring down on us.

"Oh shit!"

"Look there's a tree over there." 

He pointed to a large tree that stood in the middle of the park.
As the rain cowered around the tree, I looked up in thought.

"You know if lighting strikes we are going down in flames?"

I said half seriously.

Jaxs let go and laughed so hard I could see tears forming.

"It's not that funny." 

I shrugged my shoulders.

"No you're right, it's not. It's just the way you said it."

"Like a totally normal person would?"

"No." 
He began to laugh again.

"You're not gonna get struck by lightning Nel."

"You don't know that."
I half smiled.

I mean I guess it wasn't raining that bad, but it doesn't mean it couldn't happen.

I sat down by the root of the tree, knees up to my chest. 
I watched the rain as it fell around us.

Jaxs sat down next to me, I could see him fumbling with his hands. 

Deep in his own train of thought, he looked like a boy told to twiddle his thumbs if he was bored.

He began lifting his hand towards my face, he simply brushed back a strand of wet hair that clung to my cheek.

I turned to face him, I wasn't confused about why he was doing it. I just wanted to see his face. 

My blue eyes darted across his face, the  soft warm pink color of his lips caught my attention.

He noticed.

It was Jaxs turn to lean into me, he was inches away from my face.

I began to fill in the last bit of room,  his hand reached for the left side of my face. 

I flinched away.

"I'm sorry."  

Jaxs  looked down at the soft mushy grass.

"It's not you.."

I stammered thinking of an excuse.

"Yesterday I was running up the stairs with socks and at the last step I kind of just slipped and slammed my face into the wood. It's just a little sensitive."

Jaxs looked into my eyes, as if he was searching for validity in my statement.

He stroked his thumb softly over the concealed bruise, if he knew I was lying he sure didn't show it.

I needed to do what seemed natural in this moment.

I ran out into the rain.

"You gonna stay there and be a pansy?!"

I cooed Jaxs into coming out to the rain.

"Too scared to get all that blonde hair wet?"

I smiled, flipping my now soaking wet hair to the side.

A wicked grin crossed his face.

"I'm coming for you, Nelly!"

He ran out to the rain, I began to run like the wind.
He chased me all around the park.

"You can't catch me!" 

I turned my head just for a moment to look back at him.

In that moment, a kid in a toddler trike whirled passed me.
I landed ass first in a pile of wet dirt.

Jaxs ran up to me out of breath, he extended his hand out to help me.
I reached for his, only to yank on it and pull him down into the muddy grave.

"Hahahahahahhahahaha!"

I couldn't control my fit of laughter, I grabbed onto my sides as tears welled in my eyes.

"No, Jax don't!"

He stopped my fit of laughter as I saw him gather a handful of mud.

"Noo!"

I ran once more.

Only now to trip over a rock, eating a face full of grass.

As I turned over on my back, I barely had a second to react.

Jaxs also missed the rock, the same one I less than two seconds ago tripped over.

Except he had a soft landing.

Me.

"Ow fuck!"
I moaned in pain.

I looked up at Jax in disbelief.

"Didn't you see me trip less than two seconds before you."

"No I didn't."

His heavy breaths laid upon my neck.

"Well, open your eyes next time."

I tucked his hair back.

"It's all this damn hair, you can't see anything."

I laughed, as did Jax.

"I like it though."

"I know you do, you're just pretending not too."

"Pretending not to like your hair? That's pretty silly."

My chest rose and fell under his.

"No, not my hair. Me."

"How do you know I'm pretending?"
I grinned.

"Because..."

He lowered his voice to just barely a whisper, his face centimeters away from mine.

My breath caught in my throat.

"You wouldn't be here.."

The space between our lips became smaller and smaller as he continue to speak.

"If you didn't, and that's the truth Nelly."

"Well..."

"You know I'm right."

His words trickled upon my lips.

I laughed softly, he was right.

I wouldn't give him that credit aloud. But he was, oh how I hated being wrong.

In this case, I may make an exception. 

"Cat got your tongue?"
He grinned.

I shook my head no.

He kissed my cheek, and got off me.

I raised myself elbows, like a deer in headlights, an owl in the night.
Wide eyed and in an incredible amount disbelief.

"You comin'?"

He looked back at me, that wicked grin once more on his face.