Anarchy Is Our Only Hope

He pulled the cigarette up to his mouth, smoke spilled from his lips.

"So we're doing this?"

His blue eyes popped to life.

"Yeah Jax, we are."

I laughed. 

"You're a hundred prevent sure?"

"Yes!" 

"Alright, alright."

He grabbed the eight ice cream bars from the man in the ice cream truck.

"When your asshole explodes, I am not gonna be around."

He chuckled.

"It's not gonna explode!"

"Eight ice cream bars, Nelly?"

"Yes! I'm a girl in pain Jax, I need to heal."

I gestured to my thigh.

"Heal, my ass."

"Okay, Jax I just really love chocolate ice cream. Is that what you wanna hear?"

"All you gotta do is be honest." 

He handed me an ice cream bar as we made our way back to the porch.

"I'm willing to share one with you?"

"Just one?"

"Okay, two."

"Two?"

"Jax, I play about a lot of things... But I don't play when it comes to my ice cream."

He laughed.

"How about an even four?"

"Hmm..."

"I deserve a reward for taking care of ya, and since it can't be the one I really want. I gotta settle for some ice cream."

He looked at me, eyes sweeter than honey.

In his mind I knew his thoughts weren't as sweet.

He took another blow of his cigarette.

I lifted myself off the chair and crossed over to him.

I sat on his lap, eating a second ice cream bar.

"So is that why you're taking care of me, Jax? Hoping to get laid?"

I grinned.

"Nah, I'm here just for this."

He took a bite out of my ice cream.

"Is four not enough for you?!"

I pressed on.

"You have to go after half of mine?!"

He didn't respond, just laughed.

"You're so greedy Jax!"

I began to get off his lap, but he wrapped his arms around my waist before I could. 

"Ow!"

"Oh fuck, I'm sorry Nel!"

"Jesus Jax, I have a fracture you have to be gentle!"

"Fuck, Nelly I'm sorry. You want me to get your pain meds?"

I began cackling.

"Nel why are you -- oh, that's fucked up Nelly!"

My laughs echoed in the wind.

"You fell for it."

"I can't believe you made me think I fucked you up."

I shrugged.

"Don't fuck with a bitch's ice cream."

He laughed and squeezed his arms around me.

"Just wait, I'll get you back."

"I'm not fucking scared."

I stuck my tongue out.

"Nelly, you're fucking crazy."

He smiled widely.

"And yet you keep coming back."

"Because I get a couple laughs and some ice cream."

"Not a bad deal."

"And having you on top of me ain't bad either."

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks.

"Yeah, yeah whatever! Just don't pop a boner on me."

A few hours went by, give or take.

We poked fun at one another, enjoyed each others company.

Every time he laughed my heart would skip a beat.

Each time his fingers grazed my skin, it would burst to life.

Things I had ignored for the months I knew him, now seemed to be clearer than sunlight.

Was it just because right now everything was new, new relationships flutters?

In these moments out on the porch none of these questions seemed to matter.

Just being here, embracing him and everything he brought to the table.

That's what really mattered.

Sunset fell on the little porch, time was flying and I just wanted it to stay still.

If only for a few more hours.

A car pulled into the driveway, it was my mom's.

"Hi mom."

She nearly jumped out of her skin.

She must not have noticed Jax and I sitting there.

"Oh Jesus! Nelly I could have had a heart attack!"

"What? All I said was hi."

I laughed.

"This must be Jax?"

"No, this is Louie."

I paused, my mom simply rolled her eyes.

"Just kidding, yeah this is Jax."

"Hi, Mrs. Fitzgerald."

"Mrs. Wallace."

"Oh my bad."

Jax looked calm and collected, same charming grin on his face.

"Just call me Millie."

"Alright, Millie."

"You know Jax, I'm just about to start dinner.. If you would like to stay?"

I looked at Jax as he answered.

"I can't today Millie, I gotta head back up to Charming. How 'bout this weekend?"

"Sure, Saturday work for you?"

"Yeah I'll swing by Saturday."

He grinned.

"Alright, take care Jax."

"You too, Millie."

My mom disappeared inside. 

"Oh ho ho, Saturday dinner with my momma?"

"Yeah, if she didn't invite me you never would."

I looked at him wide eyed and mouth a gap.

"I would have.... Eventually."

He laughed.

"Exactly."

"I'm sorry I'm not as friendly as my mother."

He pulled me into him.

"You're a special case."

"Nah."

He placed his hand on the back of my head, his lips pressed on my forehead. 

"I'll come by tomorrow with the truck, I'll take you out in Charming."

"Like a date?"

"Yeah like a date."

He slinked his hand around my lower back, pulling me closer for a kiss.

"Please, be careful with those damn stairs."

"I'll try."

I laughed, he walked to his motorcycle and in minutes he was gone.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the blinds clap against one another.

I hobbled into the house.

"Mom!"

"What? I wasn't snooping!"

"Yes you were!"

"Oh he is adorable, Nelly!"

I leaned against the frame of the window.

"He's something alright."

"Oh Nel! He didn't look that cute from far away, but when you can see his face!"

"Wow mom, do you want to date him?"

"Oh god no, why didn't you bring him around sooner?"

"Well, I wanted to get to know him first."

"Oh, he's so well mannered for a biker."

"His friends are very well mannered, just because they are bikers doesn't mean they don't have manners."

I shook my head with laughter.

"Have you met his mom?"

"Yeah, she's great."

"You think you're moving too fast?"

"Nah, I've known him for a while now."

"But are you together?"

"Well.... Yes."

I couldn't help but smile.

I don't doubt that my mother thought I was some silly girl with a school yard crush.

"Since when?! Nelly Fitzgerald you sho ---."

I cut her off.

"Just today mom, calm it down."

"Ohhhh..."

"I couldn't tell you any sooner than right now."

I shrugged off.

"Mom, can you get my crutches upstairs?"

"Why do you need --- Oh god Tim?"

I nodded.

"How?"

"Threw me across the room, spent all night on the floor."

"How did you get the crutches?"

"Hospital."

"Who took you?"

"Jax's mom..."

"Nelly, you can't involve other people!"

"I'm sorry! You weren't home, I didn't know who else to call!"

She sighed and just went upstairs.

In a few minutes she was back, crutches in hand.

"I'm sorry Nel."

"It's fine..."

I said coldly.

It was dinner time, and much like every other dinner Tim's bottles of beer were starting to line up.

"Millie you're fucking stupid, how are you gonna let him into our house?"

"I just..."

"It's bad enough your fucking daughter had him wandering around the damn place!"

He continued.

"He probably took our stuff, did you check your jewelry box?"

I buried my face in my hands and sighed.

"He's a fucking delinquent! You've seen him Millie, he wears that damn shit on his back! I have never heard good things about those Son mother fuckers!"

"He seems like a good kid..."

"He's not a fucking kid Millie, he's a piece of shit hoodlum!"

"Please Tim.. Just give him a chan --."

I interrupted.

"You're no fucking better than him Tim, in fact I'd be willing to put money on it that he is better than you."

"You shut the fuck up!"

"I will not! One you're not my dad, so I don't give a fuck what you think of him. Two, you are no one to judge anybody!"

"Only whores want to be with garbage like him."

"Didn't you classify me as a slut anyway? I guess we are a match made in dysfunctional heaven."

I rolled my eyes.

"Make sure you thank god tonight that you're on crutches, Nelly."

"Fuck what you believe in, Tim."

I grabbed my plate, crossing to the kitchen I tossed the plate in the sink.

"Just wait till you're off them, I won't fuck you up further because you might end up dead."

"What does it matter?"

"Nelly please.."

My mother's voice barely audible.

"It doesn't matter if you kill me Tim, the whole sheriff's office is in your pocket. But it all comes with a price, so get on your fucking knees thank your dad by sucking his dick!"

I grabbed my crutches and made my way upstairs.

"You piece of shit! Your mother should have aborted you! Your father was garbage and so are you!"

"You're one to talk, you're nothing more than daddy's bitch. You weren't smart enough to be an actual cop Tim, so you spend your days getting wasted and beating women! Congrats you're soooo much better than the rest of us!"

I slammed my bedroom door, each lock turned and closed.

Banging came from the other side.

"Open up this door, Nelly!

"No! Fuck you asshole!"

"Say that to my face, you cunt!"

"I will! Every day till you fucking croak!"

"I'm gonna break down this door!"

If he did, I knew I wouldn't be able to hop out the window.

Inside I may have been praying for protection.

But even I knew that was a waste of prayer...