You Had My Heart at Least for the Most Part

I closed the door in his face and cried. My mom held me and begged to me to tell her what was wrong. I wouldn't tell her...never. I couldn't tell Sam tricked me into having sex with him. I couldn't tell her how much pain I'm in. I couldn't tell her how he threatened to kill Brian. I couldnt tell her that I was gay. I couldn't tell her I just want to die. I just wept and ran to ny room. I left my own mother curious about what happened. I dont want Brian to die. Sam is capable of it, trust me I know. I was much more closer to Sam than Brian, even though we both knew him the same amount of time. I always had a hunch about him, but never really payed attention to it. I still remember when we were in middle school. That day I forgot about. I threw it out of my mind. I didn't want to remember. Somehow I had a feeling it would lead to this.

*~*~*FLASHBACK*~*~*
"Hey Zack!" Sam yelled from afar. I turned and smiled at him. It was after school and both of us had baseball practice. I turned and waited for him to get near. "Sup!Bro!" I replied. I slapped his back and put my arm around him. We laughed and talked on our way to the locker rooms. "So..anything new?" I ask him. He shakes his head "You?" he asks. "Nah! Just school and shit," I reply. He nods in agreement. I start taking off my clothes to get in my baseball attire. I felt he was.staring at me, so I turned and he was behind me. He grabbed me and pushed me toward the shower stalls. I gasped and wondered what the fuck he was doing. "Dude! What the fuck man!" I yelled. "Please! Ssssshhhh!" I gave him a confused look. I noticed he undressed quickly before I started to. I hated how he was taller than me and way stronger. He had his body pressed against mine. I still had no idea what he was doing. He smirked and grabbed my face. He started kissing me and groping me. I struggled to get away from him. He then picked me up and slammed me against the shower stalls, never leaving my lips. I began to kiss back. He held me from my thighs and wrapped my legs around him. We started making out and shoving eachothers tongues into our mouths to claim dominance. He won and got a whimper out of me. He smirked and stroked my Dick lightly. I shivere and realized I was hard as fuck. That's when I found out I was gay. As soon as we heard others coming in, we dashed out of the stalls to our lockers. I smiled at him and finished dressing.

The whole practice we smirked and smiled at eachother. I began to feel regret, I don't even like him like that. I love him, but not in love with him. I then quit our flirting and ignored him the rest of practice. I wouldn't dare tell Brian, even if he is best friend. The next day Sam came up to me while I was waiting for Brian and kissed me. I rejected and told him no. He gave me a pained look and became angry. I told him how I feel. "Sam I don't like you like that, I love you bro, but not in love with you." He glared at me, "well, you didn't mind my tongue down your throat!" he said angrily. "That was at the moment but I realized I didn't even..." he cut me off. "Fine! I won't bother with it!" he walked away. I looked at him and felt really bad.

*~*~*REALITY*~*~*
I feel this is payback from me rejecting him. He always hated Brian though. He hated how Brian knew everything about me. He hated that Brian was more good looking. He hated how I payed more attention to him. I only met Sam in sixth grade, I knew Brian since kindergarten. Now I regret rejecting Sam. This wouldn't have happened. I start tearing up again. "I'm sorry...Brian."