Sunrise

I can see the sun rising, painting the sky lovely shades of pink and orange, creeping slowly upwards. It’s so normal. So goddamn normal, and I can almost imagine him still here, waking me every morning just like the sunrise does. I forgot to shut the blinds again.

I shut my eyes, but only for a moment. I know if they’re shut for too long, his face will work its way to the forefront of my mind, and it still hurts. I roll onto my other side, facing away from the window and staring at the empty space on the bed.

I should get up, get on with my day, and move on with my life. This was my fault anyways. I didn’t deserve to mourn a relationship that I had ruined.

“You’re such a hypocrite,” his words are venom, spat in my direction. I just listen, face pressed into my hands. “I so much as glance at another woman and get hell for it.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, voice muffled by my hands. I carefully wipe at my face before looking at him. I cringe internally at how hurt he looks. This is all my fault.

I see him sometimes, around town. He looks at me like he doesn’t know me, and I stare, wondering if maybe things could have worked out, before I finally turn away.

I see him with someone else around Christmas time. I stay in bed and watch the sun rise.