Saint Fidelity

The question Devilyn had asked me couldn't be answered in just a few words. I immediately swallowed hard after hearing it, leaning back. I didn't know what to say, because I didn't know how I felt. It was a strange sort of feeling, hard to describe.

"Scared, anxious, strange..." I mumbled, looking up at Devilyn, who was staring intently, waiting for an answer. "But... warm. My insides feel tight and my hands feel tingly. I like the way he talks, even though its frightening. When I'm talking to him... I feel like I don't want to stop."

She nodded slowly, not meeting my eyes. The fact that she'd even asked that question made me curious. We'd never discussed boys together. It felt sort of normal girl talk.

Weird.

"Why?" I asked. This definitely wasn't a topic we'd ever touched on. Then again, we'd never really been in contact with boys before. Maybe this was... normal, in a way.

"I'm just curious, I guess," she said with a slight shrug.

I picked at my excuse for dinner, though I wasn't hungry in the slightest. "How do you feel around Louis? Similar?"

"Yeah.... Similar."

I popped a tiny forkful of food in my mouth, nodding. The rest of our meal, we sat in almost complete silence. We made a bit more random small talk, but other than that, we didn't say much. It wasn't uncommon for us to not speak. Sometimes we just liked each other's company and didn't want to talk, but I think our silence at that night's dinner had more to do with the fact we had so much on our minds.

I had a feeling she was thinking about Louis... Myself, I knew the only thought running through my head was Niall.

---

When our meals were finished, we were escorted back to our rooms and sent to bed, as every other night. I was curled up half asleep when I heard a knock on my door. They sometimes did check ups at night to make sure we were asleep and alive. After a recent increase in patients, and a decrease in staff, they hadn't been doing it as frequently. They really only had a few patients on twenty four hour watch, and the rest of us had free reign over our time in our rooms. Hence why I hadn't been caught cutting. They were very slack as of late.

"Hello?" I called out, and a moment later the room flooded with light. I let my eyes adjust, blinking at the person who'd just infiltrated my room. It was one of the guards, one I recognized as being in the lounge when the rooms were being painted. He looked at me, and I looked at him.

"Miss Carter, correct?"

I nodded, feeling my breath catch in my throat. I gripped my blankets, holding on for dear life as he approached me. I could hear his hot breath, and I could see his buggy eyes, and the veins in his arms. I felt a gag crawlibng up the back of my throat as he approached my bed side.

"I've been told to give this to you," he said, sliding a folded up piece of paper into my hand. He then took a few steps back, saluted me, and left.

I didn't know exactly what was going on. I never got mail, and when I did it was always in an envelope and always delivered in the morning. I turned the smooth note over in my hands as I flicked the light on.

Through the paper I could see the scribblings of permanent marker. I slowly unfolded it, and read the note's contents.

"Missed you at dinner today. Make sure to be at breakfast tomorrow, I'd like to see you.
-Niall."