All I Want

Merry Christmas 

That was what was on the front of the Christmas themed card. Flipping it open, I read the inside.

Hope your holidays are filled with love, laughter, and cheer. 

-The Horan's

Kathleen, 
How are you dear? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages. Your mum says you finally got moved into your new flat. Niall was supposed to bring you some of my famous apple cider and sugar cookies. I hope he did. I know how much you love them. You better call me one of these days Kathleen Marie. 

Love you.

What Mrs. Horan didn't know was that me and Niall hadn't spoken since the day after Thanksgiving. He hadn't even tried to contact me; his own girlfriend. Some people would say he was busy in New York with music business, but that didn't mean anything. Harry still had time to call his girlfriend Hayley, Liam still had time to call his girlfriend Kaylee, Zayn still had time to call his girlfriend Emily, and Louis still had time to call his girlfriend Toni. Getting ready for their big performance at Madison Square Gardens was huge, I understood that, what I didn't understand was why he couldn't call me, the girl he said he supposedly loved. 

This might sound cheesy but I had taken a picture of him that I had laying around and took a red permanent marker writing 'Dear Santa, All I want is HIM. Love Kat' on the bottom left hand corner, pinning it on the mantel between the boys and us girls' stockings. 

My phone ringing broke me from my thoughts. By far my favorite Christmas song ever. Carol of the Bells was different then the other Christmas songs. To me it was anyway. It seemed a little darker then most of them did. That might not make sense to anyone else but it does to me. I hit accept and held it to my ear. 

"'ello?" I answered.

"Oh my Jesus! Kitty, it's snowing!! Do you believe that?! Look outside!" Hayley's loud, American voice shouted from the other end of the line. I chuckled at her excitement and moved to the big window, staring out at the dark outside world as small, white snowflakes did indeed fall from the sky. 

Last time it snowed I spent the day with Niall. We spent most of our time outside playing in the snow.



"Niall!" I shouted. The cold snow slid down the back of my shirt, stopping at the top of my pants. I shivered from the sudden coldness under my heavy coat and warm shirts. His loud laugh bounced off the trees in Hyde Park, coming back to meet my ears. I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to wipe the snow off of my back with my gloved hands. 

"It isn't funny! You got me new shirt and sweater all wet!" He just continued to laugh. Bending down, I gathered some snow in my hands and formed it into snowball, then launched it at him. It landed smack dab in the middle of his face. He quit laughing almost immediately. Some snow stuck to his face while the rest slid off and landed on his heavy coat and scarf. 

"That's not funny Kat," he spoke lowly. I continued to cackle loudly. Oh my. Payback is a bitch. Niall Horan got what was coming to him. "Oh but it is," I replied. 

Before I could blink he had me wrapped in his arms and spinning in the air. A scream fell from my lips as I squeezed my eyes shut tight. "Niall! Put me down!" One second I was being spun around and the next I was on the ground, laying on top of my boyfriend. 

"Oomph," Niall groaned. I snickered and rolled off of him. "S'what you get love." I moved my legs and arms out around me to make a snow angel. By the time I was finished he was standing up and brushing snow off of himself. 

"Help me up babe." I held out my arms much like a child would. He grabbed ahold of my hands and pulled me up, sending me crashing into his chest. "Niall," I whined. 

He shushed me and cupped my face. His fingerless gloves scratched my face but all I could think about were his bright blue eyes that were looking into my own. His cold fingertips felt like a flame against my cheeks, making my heart race. I gulped loudly, loud enough to where he probably heard. 

"Have I told you that I love you today?" He murmured. I shook my head. He grinned and dipped his head down, pressing his lips to mine. "Well I love you," he murmured against my lips. 

"I love you too," I murmured breathlessly.


Hayley was still going on about the snow and not seeing it for two years back in Missouri. She could talk your ear off if she wanted. When she got in one of those moods you better be all ears. I wiped the corners of my eyes trying to get rid of the tears. 

"Hey, uh, Hayls...I'm really tired," I spoke, cutting her off. She sighed loudly. "Well shit. I wanted to see if you would go make a snowman in the middle of the road with me, but since your going to bed at seven like an old granny I guess I'll just call Em. Night Granny Pants.

"Night Hayley." I hung up. I hated lying to her, but I didn't want her to hear me cry. If she heard me cry she would ask why and then when I told her it was because of Niall, she would get the next flight out to New York and possibly go murder him. For being as small as she was, she sure was a violent person. She packed a mean right hook. But what would you expect growing up with multiple older brothers. As much as I disliked Niall right now, I didn't want her to hurt him.




"Hayley! You're putting all the weight on me for Christ sakes!" I shouted, trying to keep a hold of the Christmas tree box. 

"Hey! I'll have you know, I'm walking up these stairs backwards since the stupid elevator quit working and holding this stupid heavy ass tree. Doing it all at once is hard work!" She shouted back. "You wanna try it?!" 

"No, but would you please be careful." 

"Careful my ass," she grumbled. "I'm probably gonna break my neck and my legs and my arms moving this thing. If I die, I'm gonna come back and haunt your kitchen cabinets until the day you die!" 

Oh dear god. She's so dramatic. Always coming back with her sarcastic remarks and what not. Sometimes I wanted to slap her for what she said, but others I couldn't stop laughing at what she said.

"Who are you going to haunt and why?" Toni asked when we finally made it in my flat. Her, Kaylee, and Emily were unwrapping all the new multicolored ornaments I had bought at the store. "Kat and 'cause she made me walk backwards up the stairs carrying this damn tree and almost killing myself," Hayley replied. We sat the box in the middle of my living room and collapsed in chairs. 

"You and Mommy Direction over there can put the tree up together," she spoke, motioning toward Kaylee. "I ain't puttin' it up. I'll decorate it, but not put it up." 

"Ain't? Are you a hick hillbilly now?" Em questioned with a smirk. She flipped her off. "As a matter of fact, I am. My aunt and uncle have a farm and I helped them. I even wore shit kickers."

"You wore what?" I asked, furrowing my brows. Her and Kaylee chuckled. "Shit kickers. Cowgirl boots," they replied in a duh tone. 

I snorted. "Well excuse me. I'm from Mullingar, I don't know what 'shit kickers' are." 

She made a face at me and all of a sudden clapped her hands. "Chop chop ye lasses! Get on with it! The tree isn't gonna put itself up!" 

Kaylee and I rolled our eyes at her, but listened nonetheless. We got the white tree out of the box and all put together. The limbs were moved and spread so there were no empty spots. It took an hour with how retarded we were all acting. With Hayley and Emily hanging ornaments on their ears and on their shirts by their mammaries as Harry called them, it took longer. 

"Look at me! I have holiday cheer mammaries!" Hayley exclaimed, pushing out her chest. Emily cackled. "Holiday cheer mammaries unite!" Toni snapped a picture of them with their chests pushed out and hands fisted on their hips like Superman. She typed on her phone for a few seconds before sliding it back in her pocket as soon as all of our phones buzzed.

I checked mine to see a notification; @ToniTiger: Holiday cheer mammaries UNITE @HayleyLRyan @EmilyWoods instagr.am/p/RzzQuuSl2. 

"Harry and Zayn will see that in the next minute and we'll all get notifications. How much you wanna bet?" I questioned. Kaylee smirked. "How much you wanna bet Harry will have something perverted to say?"

Our phones all buzzed once again; @Harry_Styles: @HayleyLRyan I have mixed feelings about this. I like it but I don't 'cause other blokes can see it. Those are my mammaries! #MyMammaries 

"Oh my Jesus!" Hayley exclaimed. "He did not hashtag that!? I can't believe he did that!" Our phones buzzed once again, this time with notifications from the other four boys.

@zaynmalik: @EmilyWoods Please step away from the ornaments and put away your 'holiday cheer' jubblies. #MyMammaries

@Louis_Tomlinson: @ToniTiger Where's my holiday cheer boobs? #WhereArtThouBoobs

@Real_Liam_Payne: @KayleeKooKoo Don't let them influence you!! #NoJubbliesPeerPressure

@NiallOfficial: @KathleenMarie Were you involved in this? #WhereArtThouBoobs

Their tweets were hilarious, I'd give them that. They'd always make me laugh. And there's no doubt that #WhereArtThouBoobs, #NoJubbliesPeerPressure, and #MyMammaries would be trending here before long. Oh the power of boybands. Niall's tweet made me want to scream and throw my phone across the room. He had the nerve to tweet me. He had the time to fucking tweet me yet he couldn't call or text me? I call bullshit. 

"Hashtag where art thou boobs?" Kaylee snorted. "Only Louis." 

"Harry Styles and his mammaries," Em mumbled with a chuckle. "Mammaries? What the hell?! Why not just call them tits?"

Hayley barked a laugh. "I agree! Just come out and say titties. Mammaries is a nice word for it. It's kinda like 'Oh I'm sorry my mammaries are in your face sir. I'll move them right away.' That's like calling cocain, Pixy Stix. 'Yeah, my Pixy Stix is top dollar, run of the mill, grade A shit. It cost the big bucks, so get to counting those dollar bills.' Replace mammaries with titties and it sounds ten times better. Same goes with Pixy Stix and cocain." 

Hayley and hers train of thought. It scared me sometimes. It really scared me. I shook my head at them and opened up the camera on my phone. "Put those on the tree so I can put a picture on Twitter," I ordered. They did as they were told and stepped away so I could take a picture. 

I took a picture and uploaded it to my Twitter through instagram. @KathleenMarie: It's up and ready for the holidays! Thank you @HayleyLRyan @EmilyWoods @KayleeKooKoo @ToniTiger instagr.am/p/WxxTccSl4. 

Last year I put up my pink tree with Niall. The year before that, we put up my purple tree together. We always put up my brightly colored, not Christmas-y Christmas trees. He was missing everything. He didn't miss putting up the tree for anything. This was our thing. Not mine, Kaylee's, Toni's, Emily's, and Hayley's. 




It was one thing to put up the tree by myself but to wrap presents by myself was another. We always did that together. Seeing all those wrapped gift boxes under the tree made me want to start crying. I hated that I was acting this way. I hated that I was so mad at him that I couldn't even get on my Twitter and read his tweets. 

I didn't understand why he could tweet something to his fans, but he couldn't text his own girlfriend. I stopped trying. I quit texting him and calling him after ten unanswered texts and calls. He didn't know what he was doing to me. But everyone else knew what he was doing to me. The girls did anyways. 

They had pulled it out of it me when we put up my tree. We had drank that night and I had a little more then the others. A drunken Kaylee saw the picture I had pinned to the mantel and questioned me about it. That of course got the others asking questions. So I spilled my guts. I'm not sure, no I'm positive it was a bad idea. Hayley drunkenly called Niall and went off on him. She was a mouthy drunk that was for sure. Halfway through her rant she just all of a sudden started talking in a Russian accent. And it was legit too! If someone didn't know her and she talked with the accent, they'd think it was real. That's how accurate it was. Niall ended up getting mad at her for saying everything she was saying and called her a stupid cunt before hanging up on her. You never, and I mean never, called Hayley a cunt. She hated that word with a passion. So of course that made her even more angry. She called him back and left a few hateful voicemails and texts, then called Harry and told him how much of a dick Niall was and all that. Poor Harry being dragged into this. 

Carol of the Bells rang out in my silent living room. I picked up my phone and held it to my ear. "'ello?" I answered. 

"KitKat, I need you to come help me. I'm at Liam and Niall's and I'm locked in the bathroom.," Kaylee whined. I snorted. "How can you get locked in the bathroom?" 

"Just shut up and come help me before I start having a panic attack and get all claustrophobic." She hung up, making me shake my head. Grabbing my keys, I slipped on my peacoat, headwrap, gloves, scarf, and UGGs then made my way out the door. It took maybe ten minutes to get there. I walked seeing as I didn't want my small Mercedes getting stuck in the snow. When I made it there, I used my key to unlock the door. "Kay? You in here?" I called out. I didn't get a response making me shake my head. She had selective hearing. "Kaylee?! Where the bloody hell are you?!" 

"She's not here." Spinning around, I came face to face with a blonde Irishman I was angry at. She set me up. I glared at him making him sigh. "Don't look at me like that."

"Don't tell me what to do," I snapped. "I'm leaving. I don't want to deal with you and your bullshit." 

His long fingers wrapped around my wrist as I brushed past him. That stopped me from going any furthur. I couldn't deny the feelings I got when his skin touched mine. It drove me insane, but I pushed that to the back of my mind and tried to jerk my hand out of his grip. 

"Let go of me," I mumbled, not looking at him. 

"Stop Kat," he spoke softly. "Stop and look at me." I shook my head. A second later he had grabbed my chin and was forcing me to look up into his blue eyes. I looked anywhere but him. I couldn't look at him. When I looked at him I remembered how he ignored me for a month straight. He couldn't expect me to be okay with what he did. 

"Please just let me go," I pleaded with tears in my eyes. He let go of me and my hand immediately flew up and wiped under my eyes. "Babe, please," he pleaded as I headed for the door. I acted as if I hadn't heard him and continued on my way. Once I got a few blocks away, I leaned against an old building and took in a deep breath of the crisp air. 

Please let that be the right thing I just did and not a mistake.


"Hayley babe, please quit cursing," Harry spoke in his normal slow voice. Hayley not cursing would never happen. She had a mouth of a sailor, if not worse. The F word was her favorite word. Well, besides bazinga. Ever since she saw that episode of The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon hides in the ball pit and doesn't come out, she's said that. 

"Harry babe, please quit telling me what to do," she replied, mimicking his voice. He narrowed his eyes at her but all she had to do was grin at him and he was no longer mad. God, I wish I could have a relationship like theirs. Where my boyfriend didn't cut off all contact for a month straight and then come back trying to act like nothing ever happened. Harry was the perfect boyfriend. He never forgot about Hayley. He never talked to other girls. He never cheated. He was just perfect. They rarely fought. Well, I take that back, they were both stubborn people so they had arguments all the time, but they got over them before you could say "My jubblies bring all the boys to the yard!" 

"That was a good impression Hayls," Kaylee commented. "Do Liam!"

Hayley smirked, wiggling her eyebrows at Liam. "Well if you really want me to," she said in a sexual manner. Liam looked like a deer caught in headlights making her burst out into a fit of laughter. "Did you see his face!? Here's my impression of him; 'Hi! I'm Liam from One Di-rection and I jus' go' hit on by my mates bird.'" 

Kay clapped. "Bravo! Sounded legit, Hayls."

"Thank you, thank you." She bowed. "Hold all autographs and pictures until after we open presents." Harry scoffed which in turn made her look up at him with raised eyebrows and hands planted on her hips. Oh boy. "Got a problem Harold?" 

He shook his head. "If anyones getting asked for autographs and pictures, it's me." 

"Whatever," she scoffed. "Welp, now you got yourself a problem. My legs and lips are gonna be closed until furthur notice!"

"Oh shit," Zayn muttered. Louis barked out a laugh. "BURN! She got you good mate!" Harry glared at his friends. "Shut up you wankers. I can still blackmail you with a certain video I have on a certain electronic device," he replied. And that shut them up. Wonder what was in the video? 

All of a sudden Kaylee let out a gasp. "Aww! OH! Oh my gosh! I left my car unlocked. Will you go lock it Kat?" I furrowed my brows at her. 

"Why can't Liam go do it?" I questioned. She stammered a little before finally spitting out an answer. "Because, uh...'cause I, uh...I need to kiss him!" She threw her keys at me and started attacking Liam's mouth. I rolled my eyes and put on my coat, then headed out my door and down the stairs. 

As soon as I stepped outside into the cold winter air, the sound of a guitar and singing met my ears. A melodic voice floated all around me. A familiar voice floated all around me. It gave me chills up and down my spine. There stood Niall in the middle of the barren, snow covered street with his guitar, singing and playing All I Want Is You by Justin Bieber.

And I'm sorry
If I pushed you away
I just want you to know I miss you
And I want you to stay

And I don't care, if I don't get anything
All I need is you here right now
And I'm sorry if I hurt you
But I know that all I want is you
This christmas, this christmas, this christmas
All I want is you
This christmas (I'm sorry),
This christmas (if I hurt you),
This christmas (but I know that),
All I want is you this christmas

Wrapping gifts without you babe
Is like mid-December and there's no cold
I can't do this on my own
I've changed my ways
Keep running back and forth again
I'm here to stay

And I don't care, if I don't get anything
All I need is you here right now
And I'm sorry if I hurt you
But I know that all I want is you
This christmas, this christmas, this christmas
All I want is you
This christmas (I'm sorry),
This christmas (if I hurt you),
This christmas (but I know that),
All I want is you this christmas

As soon as he finished singing, he walked across the snow covered ground toward me. He sat his guitar down, leaning it against the brick building. She set me up again. I stared down at the snow, but he once again grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at him. When I did, tears appeared in my eyes. 

"I'm sorry for everything babe," he murmured. "I'm sorry for not calling or texting. I'm sorry I acted like everything was okay. I love you and I always will, and that's the truth."

I felt a few tears roll down my face. I knew it was the truth and I hated how easily I forgave him. The moment he saw the tears, he wiped them away with the pads of his calloused thumbs. He knew I had forgiven him without me having to say anything. He was my weakness. My one and only weakness. 

"I promise I won't do that ever again," he whispered before pressing his lips to mine. I melted into the kiss but he pulled away all too soon. My eyes slowly opened to see him getting something out of his jacket pocket. He pulled out a small black ring box. My mouth dropped open to form an 'O'. 

He bit his lip nervously. "I, uh...I want to give you this." He opened the box to reveal a gorgeous ring. "It's a promise ring. It promises that I'll always be here for you, love you, and that I'll marry you one day whether that be next year or the year after that." 

I just stared at him. I was too shocked to say anything. How could I when he just surprised the shit out of me with a promise ring and serenaded me? Not every girl had that happen to them. I was one of the lucky ones though. 

"I forgive you," I barely whispered. He grinned and slid the ring on my finger. I stood on my tip toes to give him a kiss. His large hands found themselves in my hair while mine gripped the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me. "I guess Santa saw my Christmas list," I mumbled against his lips. 

"What?" He looked confused. I blushed. I said that outloud. Shit! "I made a Christmas list this year. I took a picture of you and wrote on it. It said 'Dear Santa, All I want is HIM. Love Kat'," I answered. 

He grinned. "Good. 'Cause you're all I want."