Status: Rated R for violence, gore, use of alcohol, suggestive themes and nudity

Concerning Hobbits

Bargeman Bard

Soon the river had calmed down the banks faded up into steep cliff faces. Pansy had nodded off while latched onto Thorin, who paddled the Barrel down the calm river. “anything behind us?” he called out “Not that I can see” Dori answered, Pansy stirred and woke up. Looked around in a panic for a moment “it is safe” Thorin said to her gently. “I think we have outrun the orcs!” Nori called out as Bombur popped out of his barrel spitting out water. “ not for long we have lost the current” Thorin called out. Pansy scanned the barrels for Kili, she found him and he looked to be doing better as he paddled towards the show. “come now everyone make for the shore” Thorin ordered.

Pansy climbed out of her barrel with Thorin’s help, He went to speak with her, but seeing Kili crumble to the ground grasping his leg she bolted off. “Kili?” she asked talking timidly, walking up to him eyeing his leg. A simple leg wound shouldn’t have knocked him down so. He stuck a cloth in the wound and notice Bombur and Pansy gazing at him with worry. He paused and stop his groans “I’m fine it’s nothing” he said looking between them. “on your feet” Thorin said wearily as he passed them “ Kili is wounded , his leg needs binding” Fili said going to his brother's side. Pansy kneeled at Fili's feet next to Kili and lightly touched Kili’s leg. She lowered her eyes and then adverted them. “if I had been a better aim this never would have happened” she thought. Kili watched her and felt he could nearly read her mind. He touched her hand but she didn’t look at him. Thorin watched them can felt cold, his eyes lingering on his nephew’s hand over Pansy’s. “there is an orc pack on our tail” he said whipping his head around to look back and then ahead to make sure no one was coming “we keep moving he said.

Fili, Bofur and Pansy glanced at each other and then to Kili. “to where?” Balin asked. “to the mountain we’re so close” Bilbo said while trying to catch his breath. “a lake lies between us and that mountain” Balin said holding his back. “We have no way to cross it” he added. Pansy and Fili helped Kili to his feet, it wasn’t easy and he needed to lean on them for support. Fili handed him over to Pansy and struggling under his weight she set him on a large boulder. Pansy started to unwrap the remaining bandages on her hands. “here Fili use these” she said handing them to him. “no, your hands” Kili protested. “they aren’t really helping, I think they need air, besides it’s all we have for now” she said. Fili inspected them “and the rivers washed them clean” he noted before getting to work wrapping Kili’s legs. “just until we can do it properly” Pansy reason with him. Kili managed and smile and nodded. “thank you little Baggins” he said pausing for a moment he added, “I thought you were mad at me” he said. Pansy side glanced and Fili looked up at Kili and rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what I was” Pansy whispered.

“so then we go round” Bilbo reasoned with Balin, “the orcs would run us down for sure as daylight” Dwalin shot looking over to Thorin who looked utterly undone with their situation. “with no weapons to defend ourselves” Dwalin finished. “bind his leg quickly” Thorin said walking past Kili, Fili, Pansy, Bofur and Bilbo and looking to the distance. The sun was already getting lower in the sky and Noon was near, the woodland wilds were getting darker. “you have two minutes” he said keeping watch. Ori at pouring water out of his boots, when the company noticed a tall shadowy figure inching towards him. Bow raised. Ori turned and looked at the figure unable to move. Dwalin grabbed a large branch and jumped in front of Ori protectively. They figure fired his bow, Dwalin’s branch blocked it, but he fired at the others as well. Kili grabbed a rock and meant to throw it but the arrow knocked it from his hands. He then notched another arrow and aimed it at them “do it again” he said in a smooth voice “and you’re dead” the figure warned.

The company looked around unsure of how to act. “excuse me um” Balin called carefully taking steps forward. “but you’re from lake town, if I am not mistaken” he stated. The man quickly pointed the arrow at him and Balin raised his hands to show he meant no harm. “that barge over there” Balin said nodding to the boat in the water. “it wouldn’t be available for hire by any chance” Balin said. Pansy listened confused, but a look of realization hit Thorin’s face. “a trade” Kili whispered to Pansy while Fili quickly finished up his leg.

The Man lead them to his Barge while loading the empty barrels “what makes you think I would help you?” the man asked, “well those boats look as if they have seen better days” Balin said. Pansy covered her eyes in embarrassment “is he insulting the man's shoes?” she questioned “if he gets on his bad side, he will leave us here or worse” she muttered. Thorin stopped at her side and nodded to Balin “just watch” he said. Pansy looked up at Thorin and then to Balin expectantly. “as does that coat, no doubt you have some hungry mouths to feed.” Balin added in his every friendly tone and a smile. He spoke as if shooting the breeze with an old friend. It was clear he was in his comfort zone. But were was going this all this? Pansy wondered. “how many babies?” He asked, the man looked down at him briefly and then loaded another barrel onto the boat “a boy and two girls” he said. “and you wife, I- I image she’s a beauty” Balin said with a smile. The man paused in load “aye, she was” he said sadly.

Pansy watched him with equally sad eyes, “it seems like everyone as lost someone out here” she thought to herself. Death, it wasn’t as common back in the Shire and it seemed like she heard of it in everyone's story out here, it made her uneasy, did that mean it would be a part of hers too?

Balin’s smiled faded as the man turned to look back at him. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” Balin stammered with guilt as he shook his head in remorse. Thorin puffed and leaned his head back. “oh come on, come on enough of the niceties” Dwalin whispered to Thorin. “whats you hurry?” the man asked hearing him. “whats it to you?” Dwalin shot back. Pansy started to shiver, being still damp with the setting sun, her body was getting cold. She hugged herself and rubbed her arms but it did little to help her.I would like to know who you are” the man said. Walking away from the boat. Pansy sighed and looked at the boat miserably. At this rate, they were not going to get anywhere. “and what you are doing in these lands” he asked, his eyes landing on the shivering Pansy. They were an odd bunch, in his eyes, he saw 13 dwarfs a hobbit and possibly a short child. He wasn’t so sure what Pansy was. But the closest guess he could make was that, maybe around 16 a short teen child.

“we are simple merchants from the blue mountains” Balin said without missing a beat. The man looked over the company, weighing Balin’s words. Journeying to see out kin in the Iron hills” Balin said. “simple merchants you say?” the man asked skeptically. “we need food, supplies, weapons” Thorin said speaking up as things were going to slowly for his taste, and he was still concerned about the orc pack behind them. “ can you help us?” he added. The Man looked at Thorin and then rubbed the slightly damaged barrels “I know where these barrels came from” he said. “what of it?” Thorin asked.

The man stepped away from the barrel and walked closer to the company. “I don’t know what business you had with the elves, but” He shook his head “I don’t thin kit ended well” Pansy looked around awkwardly at the heavy understatement. “no one enters Laketown but by the lead of The Master, all of his wealth comes from trade with the Woodland realm. He would see to you lions before risking the wrath of king Thranduil” the man said tossing the rope at tethered the boat to the shore to Balin who caught them. Thorin gestured to Balin to try and continue with him. “I-I’ll wager that there are ways to enter that town unseen!” Balin called. Pansy still shook a miserable wet mess, her teeth chattered, Bilbo went to her side and rested his arm over her shoulders trying to warm her up, she gave him a grateful smile.

“aye, but for that you would need a smuggler” the man said Balin inched closer to him while the Man unwrapped the other tether. “for which we would pay double” Balin said quickly. Those were the words the man wanted to hear as he stood up slowly a small smile coming to his face.

Pansy sat on the floor next to Kili, she still shivered as the lake was nearly frozen over, twice as cold as the land. She sat and watched the Bowman through the fog as he took them across the lake. “watch out!” Bofur called as they neared ruins jutting out of the waters hidden by the thick fog. He feared they would go unseen by the Bowman, but he knew the waters well and had steered them safely around them. “what are you trying to do, drown us?” Thorin asked. “I was born and bred on these waters master dwarf” said The Bowman “if I wanted to drown you I would not do it here” he said ominously. Pansy looked at him with wide eyes and got to her feet standing over Kili, who looked up at her, amused through his pain. If he had the strength he would have mocked her for it. “oh I’ve had enough of this snippy Lakeman” Dwalin muttered to Bofur, Bilbo, and Bombur. “I say we throw him over the side and be done with it” he added. “oh Bard, his names Bard” Bilbo said, arms crossed as he gazed out into the fog. “how do you know his name?” Bofur asked him “ah I asked him” Bilbo said matter-of-factly, it was his good Hobbit sense and manners, not matter how rough the journey he still had them. Dwalin leaned over the side of the boat his back turned to Bard. As he muttered “I don’t care what he calls himself I don’t like him” Thorin strolled past Dwalin with arms behind his back. He leaned against the wall near Pansy.

Thorin crossed his arms and Pansy would feel his shoulder near her face. She fought the urge her shivering body had to nestle any closer to him for his warmth. “you don’t have to like him you just have to pay him” Balin said cheerily as he played chess with Dori and Nori. Thorin looked past Pansy to Bard for a moment and then down at the shivering halfling. He sighed and inched himself closer to her, Pansy looked up at him confused. Thorin gave her a nod, and without hesitation, she cuddled into his side. Balin smiled at him, and Thorin avoided his gaze, arms still crossed. “{come on now lads, turn out your pockets” Balin said the dwarfs groaned but rummaged through their pockets. Pansy watched them wondering how anythings could have stayed put through the rapids or the river and everything else they had been through. “how do we know he won’t betray us?” Dwalin asked Thorin in a hushed tone. Thorin turned to lean over the railing of the Boat, care to stay close to Pansy who still was huddled close to him. “we don’t” he sighed. He stayed there for a moment before going to Balin and the others. Leaving Pansy a bit warmer but still fairly cold. “we’re ten coins short” Balin reported. “Little Baggins” Kili called with a grunt, patting the floor next to him. “you can sit with me” he said.

Pansy hesitated, she didn’t understand she was fine with him earlier but now all those strange feelings were coming back. “come on,” he said. Pansy went to him and sat down huddling closer to him shoulder to shoulder., Kili slid his body under her, her back resting on his chest he cuddled closer trying to get warm “I hate to say it but I am cold too” he said tiredly. Pansy looked at his leg, which was already starting to bleed through, and frowned. “you’re losing too much blood” she said looking up at him. “I’m fine, you worry too much, like my mother” he laughed.

“Gloin” Thorin said sternly peering down at “come on give us what you have” He said he wasn’t asking, Thorin knew Gloin was good as stashing away and hoarding what was his. “don’t look to me” Gloin said raising a finger “I have been bled dry by this adventure,” he went on. Thorin rolled his eyes along with Dwalin and Pansy could not help but giggled watching them. They seemed so much like a family. “what have I seen for my investment” Gloin asked indigently. Thorin’s eyes landed on something through the fog and he straightened up his posture, Pansy saw it too and tried to help Kili to his feet. It was faint through the fog but it was there. Fili went to her and helped her with Kili “not but misery and grief and-” Gloin stopped ranting as he saw all of them were at their feet. He stopped and rose as well. Erebor’s silhouette loomed through the fog. Pansy looked over the dwarves it was as if they were gazing into a dream. A dream that much closer. “bless my beard, take it!” Gloin said handing Balin his money pouch.”that all of it!” he called not taking his eyes from the mountain. “we’re so close now” Pansy said softly a grin slowly coming to her face as her heart swelled “you’re almost home!” she cheered care not to be loud enough for Bard to hear her. Bilbo cleared his throat seeing Bard headed over to them and nodded in his direction. The company quickly calmed themselves down.

“The money quick give it to me!” Bard called holding out his hand. “you will get your money when we get out provisions and not a moment before” Thorin said starkly. “if you value your freedom you will give it to me” Bard countered, he seemed rushed, pansy looked between the two. From where she stood as Kili’s perch. “there are guards ahead” he added looking up. And sure enough through the fog, in the nearing distance, they could see a crude gate. Pansy and the others quickly got into the barrels. Pansy shared one with Bilbo as they were the smallest and could fit in easily together. “what is he doing?” Dwalin asked as the boat stopped and Bard went to the dock. “shh he is talking to someone!” Bilbo called peering through a hole in the barrel. Smallest of the group or not, Pansy had to say she still felt smooshed as she and Bilbo tried to law low in the barrel. “and he’s pointing right at us!” Bilbo said squinting to see better “now they’re shaking hands!” he said. “what?” Thorin hissed lowly. “He’s selling us out” Dwalin grumbled. There was a long pause and then. “a-” no pansy!” Bilbo said quickly covering Pansy’s mouth as mounds of fish were pour over their heads, filling the barrels. “I do not like this, I do not like this at ‘tol!” Pansy screamed in her mind.

Pansy never said another word and never moved, below the first in the bottom of the barrel she just closed her eyes and wallowed in her discomfort. But then again she didn’t have to say anything, the voiced mutters of the dwarfs was enough protest all on its own. “quiet!” Bard ordered to them. “we are approaching the tall gate” He added. “Halt Goods inspection!” a fairly friendly voice called out. “papers please” it said. “Oh, it’s you Bard” it greeted “Morning Percy” Bard greeted back.

“anything to declare?” Percy asked. Pansy heard bar “none, only that I am cold and hungry and ready to gone home” Bard statted handing Percy the papers. “you and me both then” Percy replied
Percy stamped the papers and “here we are all in order” he said cheerfully handing Bard the paper.

“Not.so.fast.” A weasel voiced man with the face of a badger said. “consignment of empty barrels from the Woodland realm” the voice said. Bard sighed, He hated this annoying little man. “Only these aren’t empty” He said. “How’s that Bard?” he asked stepping closer tot eh boat. Pansy’s ears prickled as she listening and her hair stood on end. “If I recall correctly you are licensed as a Bargeman, not a fisherman” Pansy listened to the them and bit her lip, very soon regretting it as the taste of raw fish filled her mouth. “that's not of you business” Bard said calmly but very clearly annoyed with the little man’s snooping around. “ no it’s The Masters business, which makes it my business” He said. “come on Alfred have a heart, our people need to eat!” Bard called. “these fish are illegal” Alfred said tossing a fish into the water “empty the barrels over the side” He ordered. Pansy’s eyes shot open and looked straight across to Bilbo who had the same look on his face. “what do we do?” Pansy mouthed to him, but Bilbo shook his head, he didn’t have any more clues that she had.

From within the fish heavy barrels the company could hear lots of feet enter onto the boat. “folk in this town are struggling” Bard said, still sounding very calm with all considering. “times are hard, food is scarce” he went on “that’s not my problem” Alfred replied sharply. Pansy and Bilbo could feel their barrel leaning forward. “and when the people hear that The Master is dumping fish in the lake” Bard paused, and turned to Alfred as if daring him to ignore him “ when the rioting starts” He added in his words getting darker and darker. “will it be your problem then?” He asked Pansy could feel the fish in her barrel falling off into the water. She was thankful that she was so small this time, it meant more fish needed removing before they got seen. “Stop!” Alfred called to the guards, Pansy’s barrel sat down again and she and Bilbo exhaled. “ever the people champion ey, Bard?” Alfred asked. “protector of the common folk, you might owe me a favor now Bargeman but it won’t last” Alfred said snootily. “raise the gate1” Percy called.

“The master has his eye on you! You’ll do well to remember we know where you live!” Alfred spat out like a bratty child. “It’s a small town Alfred” Bard called out to him while steering the barge through the waters “everyone knows where everyone lives” he hissed.