Concerning Hobbits

Pansy stirred in the night, her eyes fluttered open, something light lay on her arm. Looking down she saw lightly graying locks of hair. Pansy paled as she followed it up to its owners crown. “Thorin?” she thought her body shook. She could vaguely remember what had happened. “no, no, no” she thought, she carefully rolled out of the sheet, grabbed her breastplate and carefully tipped out the door wrapping her coat around her. Hurrying down the halls so not to be seen, down to her assigned room. But she was seen, Kili watched her exit his uncles room and he watched with disbelief, his eyes “it couldn’t be” he whispered, shaking his head. “no” he said to himself “you’re being silly it’s Pansy she would never, not with him” Kili reasoned with himself passing his Uncles door on the way to his room. However, his eyes were glued to it.

Thranduil awoke with a start in chambers, and Miles away in the forest of Lorien so did Galadriel, and in Rivendell Both Celebrian and Elrond. Thranduil leered into the light glow of his room. “Yavanna, she is displeased” he whispered, “Pansy has found favor in stone and not wood, she is bound now to the earth and the creatures of Aule, Yavanna is not found of his creatures, as they are not a part of the Iluvatar’s Song, to be one with them means, that she may never return home” Galadriel said connecting with the Elven kings and queen. “is it late to change this misfortune?” Celebrian asked. “I am afraid that Pansy’s path is set, unless death take her, but remember, as with all Aule’s creature, in death they shall return to the halls of their father” Galadriel said. “she is not wedded, with them yet, we may have time, if the one is back, Pansy’s abilities will be most useful in the hands of the elves,” Thranduil said. “this is true, but remember her path has only just begun, Thranduil, you cannot force Legolas upon her, when his heart is not in it” and with those words Galadriel broke the connection.

Thranduil got up from his bed and gazed out of his window into his woodland realm, troubled. He would give up on the one thing that would promise the safety of his people through the approaching darkness.

Morning broke and Pansy awoke early, for she had been unable to sleep. “where were you last night?” Bilbo asked as he rose from his slumber. Rubbing his eyes. Pansy glanced at him, she couldn’t share such things with her family. “I was looking at the manor it’s filled with strange and marvelous things, Bilbo” She said thinking quickly. “you’ve never lied to poor Bilbo before” she thought, “they say you vanished from the party as well...where were you?” she asked him. Bilbo looked off eyeing his coat hanging across the room, a dark and hidden glint in his eyes. “oh nothing” was all he said. Pansy didn’t pursue it any further and Bilbo was grateful.

Pansy grabbed her breastplate and walked out of the room, stretching outside of her door, she realized just how bad her body ached. She blushed shamefully. “how will I carry on this way? How do I face him?” Pansy thought as she trudged down to the dining hall.

A good number of the company was already there, upon walking in many of them smiled at her, a bit more friendly than usual. Pansy broke into a cold sweat. “do they know?” she wondered. At the head of the table, Thorin watch her, his face held the same expression it always held, and he did not seem out of the ordinary, but in the back of his eyes were was a tenderness. “come, eat, we will make for the mountain soon” Thorin said to her. Pansy nodded and headed to the table, “here little Baggins” Kili called quickly pulling the chair next to him out slightly. Pansy smiled at him and went to sit, Thorin watched her intently as she took the seat and narrowed his eyes a bit. “i am surprised you are up so early in the state you were in last night, had you drank anymore you’d probably be like poor Bofur down here” Kili said pointing to Bofur who was passed out under the table. Pansy giggled seeing this. “I am fine, I am used to drinking with the Took boys, I may be tipsy but it takes much more to have me drunken” Pansy boasted while trying to ignore just how sickly Kili was looking.

“are you excited, today, you will get to see the great halls of Erebor” Kili said. Pansy nodded “am I ever” he said, “but there is still the dragon at hand” she added. “oh who’s really worried about him” Kili said confidently, Pansy smiled seeing that he was his same old self. “I cannot wait, to show you through the great stone halls and the forges” Kili said with a bright smile. Pansy’s heart thumped heavily in her chest as she watched his smile. Thorin and Balin glanced at each other doubtfully and Thorin cleared his throat loudly. Pansy glanced back at him, she could feel herself blushing as she remembered pieces of the night. Looking away she turned her focus back on the brothers “Kili how is your leg fairing?” she asked. “I had the binding changed this morning, It isn’t any worse” He said. “so it’s doing better?” Pansy asked hopefully. Kili watched her eyes light up with the prospect of him feeling better and he couldn’t find it within himself to tell her otherwise. “yes” he said with a weird tone. “yes,” he said again but turned his attention to his brother.

Pansy ate breakfast and headed back to her room to gather and ready her things. She was alone in the room, as she packed, she looked at the breastplate and tried to put it on herself, but she could not snap of the back. She turned herself round and round trying to do so on her own. “what on earth are you doing?” Kili asked hobbling in.Pansy froze and looked at him from over her shoulder. “I cannot get this blasted thing on” she said, trying some more and going in more circles. Kili chuckled heartily. “here let me help, you will make yourself sick” he said. Pansy stopped and went to him turning her back to him. Kili carefully shifted her hair over the front of her shoulders and snapped the two metal ends of the plate together in the back. “there all done” Kili said. Pansy turned around and smiled at him, “thank you Kili” she said running to grab her things off her bed. “I am ready to go now” she said, letting him lead her out of the room and to the outside of manor. As Pansy climbed down the steps she noticed the dwarves watched her, Dori, Nori, and Gloin bowed their heads to her slightly, “huh?” Pansy thought Kili watched them confused as well. Thorin awaited at the bottom step and held his hand out to Pansy, Pansy took it and he helped her down the bottom step.Pansy blushed and looked off. Kili raised a brow at his uncle and his eyes landed on Pansy’s hand as it rested in his. Fili’s eyes darted between his Uncle and his Brother, this did not bode well.

The company were escorted to the docks, welcomed with a band and the sound of trumpets. “you do know we are one short?” Bilbo called out “were is Bofur?” He asked. “ if he is not here we leave him behind” Thorin said. “we’ll have to, to find the door before nightfall we can risk no more delays” Balin said, and in his voice you could tell he would rather not have to. Pansy walked in front of Thorin who had constantly ushered her in front of him in a nearly possessive way. But she was ok with this because ahead of her was Kili and from here she could watch him like a Hawk, she knew by now he wasn’t being honest. While his words and actions told one story, his body couldn’t lie, and it did not look to be doing any better. In fact, his condition looked horrible. Thorin walked so he was now at her side, his eyes lingering on his nephew “he worries you” Thorin said to her in a low hushed voice. Pansy glanced at Thorin for a moment “yes, he is not well anyone with eyes can see that”she said gravely. Thorin had not before seen the pain in Pansy’s eyes as he had while she watched Kili. “it's as if just walking is killing him” she added. Thorin nodded giving her arm a gentle rub before walking ahead of them.

At the boat that was prepared for them Thorin aided his company into the boat, after Bilbo and Fili, Thorin went to help Pansy in, he took her hand in his and rested his hand in the small of her back tenderly. “careful” He said as she hopped over into the boat, she lost her balance a bit, and Thorin held her hand to keep her steady, he gave a small smile and short laugh “I said careful” he said amused. Pansy shook her head. “I’ve two left feet” she said. Kili went to get in the boat next, and Thorin held out his arm halting him. “not you” Thorin said, helping the rest inside, Kili looked at him stunned “we must travel at speed you will slow us down” Thorin told him giving him a stern finalized look as he now loaded the boat with weapons. Pansy’s eyes darted between them, Kili glanced at Pansy who sat in the boat before turning to his uncle, “what are you talking about” he said with a smile, maybe Thorin was just joking “I’m coming with you” Kili said. “ no you're not” Thorin said as he continued to load the boat. Kili squinted at him, and Fili overhearing it all pushed to the edge of the boat and stood t Pansy’s side, he looked at her as if asking “can you believe this?” but she just shook her head. Kili’s smile fell as Thorin turned to him and sighed just a bit, he looked straight in his nephew's eyes. “ I am going to be there when that door is opened” Kili said watching for Thorin’s reaction “when we first look upon the halls of our Fathers Thorin” Kili stated quickly. “Kili” Thorin said stopping him, he could hear the hurt in his voice, they all could, after all, he never called his uncle by name, but rarely. Pansy shook her head, she was worried for him, true, but she didn’t want this and she hoped that Thorin wasn’t doing this because of her words. “stay here” Thorin said resting his hand on Kili’s shoulder, his tone was easy, but Kili looked at him with evident anger and confusion. “rest,” Thorin place his hand on the back of Kili’s head and gave him a smile “join us when you are healed” He said softly. But with every word, Kili only looked more betrayed his eyes handed on Pansy and Fili who looked on unsure of what to do. Kili searched Thorin’s eyes and shook his head the truth of it was. He didn’t know if he would heal and if he didn’t, he wanted to be where he belonged, in the stone halls of Erebor with his brother and kin. Thorin per Kili’s head almost as if he had been a child again before turning his back to him and heading towards the boat. Pansy looked at Thorin with wide teary eyes, and then to Kili as he turned his back to them. “Thorin” she said breathlessly.

Oin got out of the boat, being the best medically skilled “I will stay with the lad, my duty lies with the wounded” He said. Pansy watched him get out, bit her lip. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, they were supposed to stay together until the very end. All of them. “please” Pansy pleaded in a whisper as turn her eyes back to Thorin, and in a even lower voice as she stepped closer to him, she looked up into his eyes “this is not what I meant, what I wanted if you are doing this for my sake” She said only loud enough for the two of them to hear. “the trek would kill him at this rate” Thorin said to her “no, he is strong, he made it this far,it would only take but a little bit longer” she whispered back. “we don’t have a little bit longer” Thorin said darkly. “and what if it were me?” Pansy asked him. Thorin looked off “ that is different” he sighed. “is it?” Pansy asked. “uncle!” Fili called out to him, stepping to Pansy’s side, he looked from her to Thorin. “we grew up on tales of the mountains, tales you told us!” he barked “you cannot take that away from him!”

“Fili” Thorin said in warning, Pansy watched as Fili fought for his brother with fire. “I will carry him if I must!” Fili shouted. Pansy whipped her head to Thorin and the two’s gaze on him , with expecting eyes was nearly too much. “one day you will be king and you will understand, I cannot risk the fate of this quest for the sake of one dwarf” Thorin said, Fili now looked hurt, “not even my kin” Thorin said avoid their eyes, the looks in them, were breaking even his hardened heart, and the tears welling in to Pansy’s eyes. She understood Thorin’s plight, she understood what was at stake, but her heart still broke for Kili after how far they had come, after he had given life and limb to be left behind. Fili glared at Thorin and looked to his brother, who swatted Oin away as he tried to talk with him. Fili got out the boat. Thorin grabbed his arm “no Fili, don’t be a fool” he said pulling him back. Fili twirled around and looked at his uncle with cold eyes. “you belong with the company” Thorin said. “I belong with my brother!” Fili snapped giving Thorin a long hard gaze. Thorin’s hand slipped away from Fili’s arm and he went to his brother.

Kili’s eyes locked with Pansy’s, and slowly diverted away, she drew in a breath and looked to Thorin “no” He said softly as Pansy stepped one foot out of the boat. “were are you going?” Bilbo asked her seeing her do so. “nowhere, she is coming with us” Thorin said, grasping Pansy’s arm. “you stay at my side, are you not t he burglar’s assistant” Thorin said. Pansy paused and looked into Thorin’s eyes. “It is my fault Kili is hurt.” she confessed. “I was supposed to have his back, but I am terrible with a bow and I could not hit Bolg in time to stop him form firing at Kili” Pansy said as more tears welled in her eyes. “I will not let him suffer, because of a mistake I made unless I can carrying my share of that suffering, for loyalty and honor” Pansy said sadly, she rested a hand over Thorin’s on her arm. “my heart is willing to give up the final edges of this adventure.” she said shaking her head “I would love nothing more than to see doors open on Durin’s day” she said with a teary eyed smile, she then looked to Kili, Oin, and Fili “but if they mustn’t see it” she said looking back up at Thorin “why should I? I who have been the biggest of burdens” she said. Thorin stepped closer to her, and she stopped him by resting a hand on his chest, his eyes looked sorrowful. “my mind is made up, you will find hobbits are very stubborn creatures” she said with another shaky smile as she used his arm to support herself as she climbed out the rocking boat. “Keep Bilbo safe...and be careful, so we will come as soon as Kili has healed” Pansy said as Thorin stepped into the boat, he took her hand in his. And his eyes wandered to Kili, who gave him a scorned look. Thorin looked back to Pansy and reluctantly released her hand as she stepped away from the boat. The trumpets blared and they shoved off. Pansy curtsied and bowed her head to Thorin as they sailed away and he Bowed his head deeply to her in return.

She watched them vanish before turning to and jogging to Kili, Fili, and Oin. She kneeled before him, and nearly in tear he looked down at her, white as a ghost, and his breathing labored. Pansy searched his eyes frightened “Kili?” she questioned touching his face, he was cold, very cold. “wait! wait! Bofur called pushing through the crowds only to see the boat had gone, he sighed heavily but looked to see Kili, Fili, Oin and Pansy and smiled. “you guys were late too?” he asked but none of them paid him any mind as Kili grunted in pain and fell forward onto Pansy, she held open her arms and embraced him in them “Kili? Kili!” Fili called as he helped Pansy sit him upright again as Kili shivered and gasped. Pansy took her fingers and lifted his face, his eyes were light-less. And he looked at her listlessly “I’m sorry” he whispered his voice wavering before hanging his head again. Pansy stood up. “help” she said in a small voice looking around “help!” she called out louder running to the nearest villager she tugged on their clothes “help! You must help me our friend, something’s wrong with him please!” she called, but she was shoved away and her voice was lost in the cheering of the village. Pansy looked back to Fili distraught as she and Bofur ran off to try and find help.

Bofur and Pansy ran around the whole town, getting lost several times before realizing no one wanted to help them with Thorin gone on his quest, no one cared for those left behind. Pansy sobbed as she met back up with Bofur, “be bother this town and it’s wretched people!” she cursed Bofur rested a hand on her back to comfort her “now, calm down there is till one last place” he said as he watched pansy wipe the tears from her eyes furiously. She sniffled and looked up at Bofur confused.