Utopia
One and Only
“‘The world was calm and the night was strong. The day was bright and ready to fight.’ In the year 2100 things became to change. Children knew nothing but war. The nation had been taken over and resources were scarce. The hope of the population was dwindling fast. Something would need to be done to save this world. And soon.” I sighed, as I finished the last of the story. The sun shown through the curtains of the small dorm I was sharing with three other people. I opened up my email on my laptop, ready to send this to my professor before I left for the short fall break. Submitting the email, I packed up my things and walked out of the stiff congested building and into the less crowded, but still busy street. People were coming and going, cars sped by and buses stopped to pick up the afternoon rush of businessmen and women coming home from a long day of phone calls and meetings. The crisp wind blew children and high school hoodlums through the streets and the fall leaves swept past the friendly homeless man on the corner.
My eyes scanned the chaotic traffic, waiting for a break, so I could make my way to the train station. Finally, the street began to clear and I dashed across the pavement and into the crowd of disapproving stares for my jaywalking. I passed by things that have changed and things that have never changed in the great city. The policeman that sat on the corner of Broadway and Main Street still sits with his donut and ‘coffee’, and the Chinese restaurant before the Macys on Michigan always has its doors open letting the warm aroma pull you in for a quick lunch or late night snack.
As I walked further down, the things that have changed bring sadness. I see the Willis Tower in the distance that no longer holds the memories I once shared there with you. I remember the days we spent in the Lincoln Park Zoo looking at exhibits, and the nights we shared outside of concert venues, laughing and singing at the top of our lungs. I remember the dates we shared at Gino’s and Ed Debevics. How you always used to laugh at how I blushed every time you complimented me. The times you’d subconsciously snake your arm around my shoulders and kiss my temple, I remember.
The doors of the train station flowed open and closed as people rushed to the nearest cab. My body led me subconsciously to the escalator. I made my way to the Starbucks to sit at the same table we met at four years ago. I ordered the same thing, and I always ordered one for you too, just in case you would have happened to appear, even though I knew you wouldn’t. I finished my drink and grabbed yours; hoping you’d be on the train home, but I knew you wouldn’t be.
I grabbed a seat in the middle car. You always said that the middle car was the safest. I don’t know why, but I never questioned it. As the changing scenery blurred past my window I thought about how much of a utopia my life was with you. I reminisced on all of the laughs, tears, smiles, and stares we shared with each other.
The train finally stopped at my destination. I grabbed my duffel bag and purse from the floor and slung them over my shoulder. I followed other occupants of the train to the concrete platform of the station. He was waiting for me with a smile on his face and his arms open wide. I knew he wasn’t you and he would never compare to you. Ever. He embraced me in his warm arms and kissed my temple like you used to do. On the way home he laced his hand in mine as he drove down the stretch of highway, but it never gave me goosebumps like it did when you used to. You used to do a lot of things.
Once we arrived at his apartment we found ourselves lying together on his muddled sheets that lay on his bed. We just laid there taking in the other’s presence. He eventually fell asleep with me tangled in his embrace. I thought about what I did wrong that put us in that state. I hated it. I hated how everything mocked me, how every person with the slightest resemblance would make my heart race, and I hated how much I missed you the most.
You made waking up in the morning bearable. You changed me from someone I was pretending to be to who I really truly was meant to be. You saved me from the demons that tried to get inside. I never wanted to be anywhere unless it was with you; I was wrapped around your finger the moment you had said hello. With you I had nothing to worry about, I would look at you and know that you were my world, you were my home. You took my heart and never gave it back. Without you I had a dystopia world filled with hatred and self loathing. Without you I had nothing at all.
The tears overflowed onto my cheeks, no longer being able to hold them back any longer. The thoughts of you played through my head like horror film, which haunted me for forever. My body shook with each gasp for air and I was suddenly brought back to reality.
My eyes flutter open and I find myself lying next to you, embraced in your arms. I let a small smirk take over my lips as I move to nuzzle my face into the crook of your neck. I am so happy. Glad it was all a dream, a very bad dream. I’m so happy that you are here and that I am here with you, because with you my life is perfect.
My eyes scanned the chaotic traffic, waiting for a break, so I could make my way to the train station. Finally, the street began to clear and I dashed across the pavement and into the crowd of disapproving stares for my jaywalking. I passed by things that have changed and things that have never changed in the great city. The policeman that sat on the corner of Broadway and Main Street still sits with his donut and ‘coffee’, and the Chinese restaurant before the Macys on Michigan always has its doors open letting the warm aroma pull you in for a quick lunch or late night snack.
As I walked further down, the things that have changed bring sadness. I see the Willis Tower in the distance that no longer holds the memories I once shared there with you. I remember the days we spent in the Lincoln Park Zoo looking at exhibits, and the nights we shared outside of concert venues, laughing and singing at the top of our lungs. I remember the dates we shared at Gino’s and Ed Debevics. How you always used to laugh at how I blushed every time you complimented me. The times you’d subconsciously snake your arm around my shoulders and kiss my temple, I remember.
The doors of the train station flowed open and closed as people rushed to the nearest cab. My body led me subconsciously to the escalator. I made my way to the Starbucks to sit at the same table we met at four years ago. I ordered the same thing, and I always ordered one for you too, just in case you would have happened to appear, even though I knew you wouldn’t. I finished my drink and grabbed yours; hoping you’d be on the train home, but I knew you wouldn’t be.
I grabbed a seat in the middle car. You always said that the middle car was the safest. I don’t know why, but I never questioned it. As the changing scenery blurred past my window I thought about how much of a utopia my life was with you. I reminisced on all of the laughs, tears, smiles, and stares we shared with each other.
The train finally stopped at my destination. I grabbed my duffel bag and purse from the floor and slung them over my shoulder. I followed other occupants of the train to the concrete platform of the station. He was waiting for me with a smile on his face and his arms open wide. I knew he wasn’t you and he would never compare to you. Ever. He embraced me in his warm arms and kissed my temple like you used to do. On the way home he laced his hand in mine as he drove down the stretch of highway, but it never gave me goosebumps like it did when you used to. You used to do a lot of things.
Once we arrived at his apartment we found ourselves lying together on his muddled sheets that lay on his bed. We just laid there taking in the other’s presence. He eventually fell asleep with me tangled in his embrace. I thought about what I did wrong that put us in that state. I hated it. I hated how everything mocked me, how every person with the slightest resemblance would make my heart race, and I hated how much I missed you the most.
You made waking up in the morning bearable. You changed me from someone I was pretending to be to who I really truly was meant to be. You saved me from the demons that tried to get inside. I never wanted to be anywhere unless it was with you; I was wrapped around your finger the moment you had said hello. With you I had nothing to worry about, I would look at you and know that you were my world, you were my home. You took my heart and never gave it back. Without you I had a dystopia world filled with hatred and self loathing. Without you I had nothing at all.
The tears overflowed onto my cheeks, no longer being able to hold them back any longer. The thoughts of you played through my head like horror film, which haunted me for forever. My body shook with each gasp for air and I was suddenly brought back to reality.
My eyes flutter open and I find myself lying next to you, embraced in your arms. I let a small smirk take over my lips as I move to nuzzle my face into the crook of your neck. I am so happy. Glad it was all a dream, a very bad dream. I’m so happy that you are here and that I am here with you, because with you my life is perfect.