Like You Wanna Be Loved

“What do you think is wrong with her,” Jordan asked after Nicole ran out of the room with her phone.

“I don’t know,” I responded honestly. “I feel like if it was something really important she’d say something though. But I agree, she’s been acting weird since she first saw me.”

We sat around talking for a while about what we wanted to do for the rest of the day before my phone started ringing. I quickly pulled it out of my pocket. Darren Helm’s name and photo were displayed brightly on the screen.

“Who is it,” Geno asked, noticing the confused expression on my face.

“Helmer.”

“I thought he on phone with Nicole.”

“He was,” I told him before answering the phone. “Hey, Darren. What’s up?”

“Sid, this is going to sound really weird and I’m not exactly sure how to tell you, but here goes: there’s something wrong with Nicole’s memory.”

“What do you mean,” I questioned frantically.

“She doesn’t remember us. She doesn’t remember me. She doesn’t remember you. She doesn’t remember Jordan and Geno. She doesn’t remember any of the hockey players she’s ever met. She knows who we are but only from a fan’s perspective.”

“So that’s why she’s been acting so weird,” I marveled.

“What’s going on,” Jordan asked, hurrying over to me. I pushed him away, trying to focus on my conversation with Darren.

“What do I do,” I asked him. “Do I take her to the hospital? What do I do?”

“That’s up to you. I told her that she should go along with whatever you decide though. I’m really sorry this is happening, man.”

“It’s not your fault. I’ll call you later once I figure something out.”

“Okay. Bye Sid,” he said before ending the call.

“What’s wrong with Nicole,” Jordan asked as I ran my hand through my freshly cut hair.

“There’s something wrong with her memory. She doesn’t remember us. To her, we’re just hockey players. I think I want to take her to the hospital and get her head checked out.”

“We’re gonna have to find her first,” Jordan pointed out.

“I’ll go find her,” I told the two, getting up and leaving the room.

I walked out into the hallway and immediately heard a girl sobbing. I followed the sounds to a nearby closet. I knew it had to be Nicole.

“Nicole,” I called to her. “It’s Sidney. Can you open the door for me?”

“No,” she shouted back, still crying her heart out. It was killing me to hear her cry without being able to hold her.

“Please, Nicole? We need to talk about what’s going on with you.”

She didn’t respond. I sat there a few more seconds , hoping she’d open the door before I realized that she was going to stay holed up in the closet for as long as possible. I ran back to her room and grabbed a paperclip off of her desk before going back to the closet.

I crouched down in front of the door and got to work picking the lock. When I finally hit the last tumbler I pulled the door open. Nicole was sitting on the floor, her knees tucked up to her chest as she sobbed. She looked up at me and I wasted no time in pulling her into my chest. She tried to push me away but I knew that would help no one. I needed to feel her close to me after us being apart for so long and she needed to calm down.

She finally calmed down and I pulled back to take a good look at her. Her eyes were puffy from crying and her nose was running. She’d never been what people called a “pretty crier” but I didn’t really care. I loved her and I didn’t want to see her cry even if she was straight up gorgeous when she cried.

“Why didn’t you tell me something was wrong,” I asked her, lifting up her chin to look at me.

“I was afraid of hurting you.” I could tell that she’d had a hard time admitting that. Nicole was never really into sharing her fears. She didn’t realize that she normally wore them on her sleeve.

“Nicole, you should never be afraid to talk to me. I love you. If something is going on with you, I want to know about it.”

“I’m glad I know that now,” she responded sarcastically. ‘Oh, God… The sarcasm is back.’

Sarcasm is Nicole’s main defense mechanism. I’d managed to get her past it a while ago. Clearly she
didn’t feel comfortable with me or this conversation right then.

“I think we should take you to a hospital and get you checked out. You said it’s not just me, right? You don’t remember Staalsy or Geno either, do you?”

“No, it’s not just you,” she told me. Unbeknownst to her, she relieved my worst fear with that sentence. I might have broken down myself if she had managed to forget just me.

“Okay. I’ll go grab your purse. Why don’t you go downstairs and get in the car, the doors are unlocked. I’ll send Geno and Jordan down after you just in case you get lost,” I told her with a teasing tone.

I went back into her room as she left to go downstairs.

“So what plan,” Geno asked as I entered the room.

“We’re gonna go to the hospital. Go down to the car. I’ll be right there.”

The two both left the room. I pulled my phone out of my too small pocket and typed a quick text message to Helmer to let him know that we were in fact going to the hospital before I grabbed Nicole’s purse off of its designated hook next to her closet door.

When I got to the parking lot I found Staalsy sitting in the passenger seat and I was left confused and slightly angry.

“Why are you sitting up here,” I asked him as I climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Geno got to the car before me and insisted on sitting in the back with Nicole,” he explained.

‘So she doesn’t want to sit with me,’ I thought to myself sadly.