Status: Working on an update slowly but surely! -6/14/13
Like You Wanna Be Loved
Seven
I hung up with Darren and noticed that Sidney was staring at me with a strange look in his eyes. “What?”
“Nothing,” he responded a bit too quickly, shaking his head to try to dispel his thoughts. I didn’t believe the lie for a second. Something was bothering him; I just wasn’t sure what it was.
“Will you please tell me the truth?”
“Nah, it’s stupid. I’ll get over it eventually.”
“Sidney,” I started, grabbing his hand and putting on a subtle pair of puppy eyes. “Now is not a good time for us to be keeping things from each other. So will you please tell me what’s bothering you?”
Sidney let out a deep sigh before answering, “I don’t know. It just bothered me that you were so willing to say that you love him. He’s only a friend. I’ve been your boyfriend for two years. Why is it so much easier for you to say you love him, but not me?”
“It’s not that it’s easier, Sidney. I can say it to him because he wants a different kind of love. Darren only wants me as a friend. You want me to love you as your girlfriend. And I’m sure before all of this happened it wasn’t even a question that I loved you-“
“So you’re telling me that I’ve wasted two years of my life just for you to tell me that you’re not in love with me anymore?!”
“That’s not at all what I’m saying. I’m simply saying that I can’t remember the feelings I have for you. You’re entitled to your own opinions and if you think your relationship with me was a waste of time, I’m not going to try to change your mind.”
I was doing my best to stay calm and rational, though it wasn’t an easy task. I didn’t want to let Sidney’s words affect me, but as hard as I tried, I felt a huge pang in my stomach.
“This is exactly what I’m talking about! You aren’t willing to fight for this anymore! Our relationship was never easy and I gave you credit for putting up with everything, but this is too much.”
“If you can’t handle this, Sidney, fine! Leave,” I shouted, my voice breaking on the last word.
“Fine! I will,” he yelled before getting up and storming out of the room, making sure the door slammed behind him.
I couldn’t help breaking down and crying. I knew it was ridiculous but I couldn’t stop. Sobs racked through my body. I quickly grabbed my phone and searched through my contacts for the name of someone I could always trust, my sorority sister, Steff.
Steff was actually from my hometown, though I hadn’t met her until she showed up at my sorority house for recruitment. She soon became my best friend and we often wondered why we hadn’t met each other at home. She was someone who would always be there for me.
“Hello,” she answered after the second ring.
“Steff,” I responded through my tears.
“Nicole? What’s wrong?” I couldn’t respond. I was too busy bawling my eyes out. “Where are you?”
“The hospital.” I managed to choke out.
“I’ll be right there,” she told me quickly before hanging up.
The door to the room opened and Geno and Jordan peeked their heads in. Once they noticed the tears pouring down my face, they hurried into the room and over to the bed.
“Nicole, it’s okay,” Jordan cooed, pulling me into a hug.
“Sid come round soon.”
“Do I really want him to though?” Jordan and Geno looked at me like I was completely crazy. “He called our relationship a waste of his time. Why would I ever want to be with him if that’s the way he feels?”
“He not mean that.”
“How do I know that, Geno? How do I know he loves me and isn’t just full of shit? I don’t. And honestly, it’s not a risk I’m willing to take. Actually, it’s probably better that it ends now. I can’t remember the relationship and he doesn’t want to remember it, so why would it make sense to stay together?”
“Because you may not realize it, but he does love you and you love him just as much. You should see him when we’re on the road. He’s miserable because it’s harder for you two to talk when you’re in different time zones. He tries not to show it, but the long distance relationship really drains on him too. He would honestly love it if you came with us on every road trip and be at every game. He would never ask that of you though because he knows how much being a teacher means to you.”
“That may be true, but clearly things just aren’t working out for us anymore.”
“Nicole,” I heard a voice shout from the hallway.
“Nothing,” he responded a bit too quickly, shaking his head to try to dispel his thoughts. I didn’t believe the lie for a second. Something was bothering him; I just wasn’t sure what it was.
“Will you please tell me the truth?”
“Nah, it’s stupid. I’ll get over it eventually.”
“Sidney,” I started, grabbing his hand and putting on a subtle pair of puppy eyes. “Now is not a good time for us to be keeping things from each other. So will you please tell me what’s bothering you?”
Sidney let out a deep sigh before answering, “I don’t know. It just bothered me that you were so willing to say that you love him. He’s only a friend. I’ve been your boyfriend for two years. Why is it so much easier for you to say you love him, but not me?”
“It’s not that it’s easier, Sidney. I can say it to him because he wants a different kind of love. Darren only wants me as a friend. You want me to love you as your girlfriend. And I’m sure before all of this happened it wasn’t even a question that I loved you-“
“So you’re telling me that I’ve wasted two years of my life just for you to tell me that you’re not in love with me anymore?!”
“That’s not at all what I’m saying. I’m simply saying that I can’t remember the feelings I have for you. You’re entitled to your own opinions and if you think your relationship with me was a waste of time, I’m not going to try to change your mind.”
I was doing my best to stay calm and rational, though it wasn’t an easy task. I didn’t want to let Sidney’s words affect me, but as hard as I tried, I felt a huge pang in my stomach.
“This is exactly what I’m talking about! You aren’t willing to fight for this anymore! Our relationship was never easy and I gave you credit for putting up with everything, but this is too much.”
“If you can’t handle this, Sidney, fine! Leave,” I shouted, my voice breaking on the last word.
“Fine! I will,” he yelled before getting up and storming out of the room, making sure the door slammed behind him.
I couldn’t help breaking down and crying. I knew it was ridiculous but I couldn’t stop. Sobs racked through my body. I quickly grabbed my phone and searched through my contacts for the name of someone I could always trust, my sorority sister, Steff.
Steff was actually from my hometown, though I hadn’t met her until she showed up at my sorority house for recruitment. She soon became my best friend and we often wondered why we hadn’t met each other at home. She was someone who would always be there for me.
“Hello,” she answered after the second ring.
“Steff,” I responded through my tears.
“Nicole? What’s wrong?” I couldn’t respond. I was too busy bawling my eyes out. “Where are you?”
“The hospital.” I managed to choke out.
“I’ll be right there,” she told me quickly before hanging up.
The door to the room opened and Geno and Jordan peeked their heads in. Once they noticed the tears pouring down my face, they hurried into the room and over to the bed.
“Nicole, it’s okay,” Jordan cooed, pulling me into a hug.
“Sid come round soon.”
“Do I really want him to though?” Jordan and Geno looked at me like I was completely crazy. “He called our relationship a waste of his time. Why would I ever want to be with him if that’s the way he feels?”
“He not mean that.”
“How do I know that, Geno? How do I know he loves me and isn’t just full of shit? I don’t. And honestly, it’s not a risk I’m willing to take. Actually, it’s probably better that it ends now. I can’t remember the relationship and he doesn’t want to remember it, so why would it make sense to stay together?”
“Because you may not realize it, but he does love you and you love him just as much. You should see him when we’re on the road. He’s miserable because it’s harder for you two to talk when you’re in different time zones. He tries not to show it, but the long distance relationship really drains on him too. He would honestly love it if you came with us on every road trip and be at every game. He would never ask that of you though because he knows how much being a teacher means to you.”
“That may be true, but clearly things just aren’t working out for us anymore.”
“Nicole,” I heard a voice shout from the hallway.
♠ ♠ ♠
Short chapter. Sorry I'm not sorry. But in case you didn't notice/ you're on your phone, I finally got around to making a layout! You're welcome. It only took me skipping two of my classes for me to find the energy (but seriously...)Let me know if there are any issues with the layout and I'll try to fix them. (My layout making skills are below average, I apologize.)