Status: Completed
'Cause the Hardest Part of This is Leaving You.
Demolition Lovers
Lindsey's sewing. I didn’t even know she could. A lemon-coloured baby suit is draped across her knees. She threads the needle, one eye shut, pulls the thread through and rolls a knot between licked fingers. Who the fuck taught her that? For minutes I watch her, and she sews as if this is how it’s always been. Her blonde hair is piled high, her neck at a tender angle. She bites her bottom lip in concentration.
" Live, " I tell her. " You will live, won’t you? "
She looks up suddenly, sucks bright blood from her finger. " Shit! " She says. " I didn’t know you were awake. "
It makes me chuckle. " You’re blooming. "
" I’m fat! " She heaves herself upright in the chair and thrusts her belly at me to prove it. " I’m as big as a bear. "
I’d love to be that baby deep inside her. To be small and healthy.
.INSTRUCTIONS FOR LINDSEY.
Don't tell your daughter that the world is a rotting place. Show her lovely things. Be a giant for her, even though your parents couldn't do it for you. Don't EVER get involved with anybody who doesn't love you.
" When the baby’s born, do you think you’ll miss the life you had before? "
Lindsey looks at me very solemnly. " You should get dressed. It’s not good for you to sit around in your pyjamas all day. "
I lean back on the pillows and look at the corners of the room. When I was a kid, I always wanted to live on the ceiling – it looked so clean and uncluttered, like the top of a cake. Now it just reminds me of bed sheets.
" I feel like I’ve let you down. I won’t be able to babysit or anything. "
Lindsey says, " It’s really nice outside. Shall I ask Frank or your mom to carry you out? "
They do. And I feel like I'm a sack of potatoes when Frank carries me to the backyard. Two birds walk around on the lawn. Fluffy clouds carry the sky.
Lindsey's reading a magazine. Frank strokes my feet through my socks.
" Listen to this, " Lindsey says. " This won the funniest joke in the world. "
Number fourteen, a joke.
" A man goes to the Doctor's and says, ' I've got a strawberry stuck up my arse' ' Oh, the doctor says, ' I've got some cream for that.' "
I laugh a lot. I'm laughing like a skeleton. To hear us- Frank, Lindsey and I- sounds so warm.
" Live, " I tell her. " You will live, won’t you? "
She looks up suddenly, sucks bright blood from her finger. " Shit! " She says. " I didn’t know you were awake. "
It makes me chuckle. " You’re blooming. "
" I’m fat! " She heaves herself upright in the chair and thrusts her belly at me to prove it. " I’m as big as a bear. "
I’d love to be that baby deep inside her. To be small and healthy.
.INSTRUCTIONS FOR LINDSEY.
Don't tell your daughter that the world is a rotting place. Show her lovely things. Be a giant for her, even though your parents couldn't do it for you. Don't EVER get involved with anybody who doesn't love you.
" When the baby’s born, do you think you’ll miss the life you had before? "
Lindsey looks at me very solemnly. " You should get dressed. It’s not good for you to sit around in your pyjamas all day. "
I lean back on the pillows and look at the corners of the room. When I was a kid, I always wanted to live on the ceiling – it looked so clean and uncluttered, like the top of a cake. Now it just reminds me of bed sheets.
" I feel like I’ve let you down. I won’t be able to babysit or anything. "
Lindsey says, " It’s really nice outside. Shall I ask Frank or your mom to carry you out? "
They do. And I feel like I'm a sack of potatoes when Frank carries me to the backyard. Two birds walk around on the lawn. Fluffy clouds carry the sky.
Lindsey's reading a magazine. Frank strokes my feet through my socks.
" Listen to this, " Lindsey says. " This won the funniest joke in the world. "
Number fourteen, a joke.
" A man goes to the Doctor's and says, ' I've got a strawberry stuck up my arse' ' Oh, the doctor says, ' I've got some cream for that.' "
I laugh a lot. I'm laughing like a skeleton. To hear us- Frank, Lindsey and I- sounds so warm.