Forget December

“So then I’m left in nothing but my pants and my trainers with the thought that I had to get out of the pub.”

I giggled, burrowing my head in his chest. “You get yourself in the most ridiculous situations,” I said finally when I pulled back and collapsed on my bed. “I mean, honestly Niall.”

He grinned and shrugged, his arm still wrapped around my shoulder and holding me close. “May be true,” he said finally after a few moments of silence, “But I figure it all ended up getting me right here, so I can’t knock it aye?”

I couldn’t exactly protest that.

It was three in the morning and Niall and I were still awake, laying in my bed, tangled in my sheets, and laughing about something one of his mates had done. I was listening, but just barely; I was more focused on the boy beside me than anything.

The kiss outside had slowly escalated--or quickly, depending on how you looked at it. I suppose it was rather fast, because before I knew it we were tangled in my sheets, in the position we were now, Niall bare-chested and me with my snowman sheets tugged up around my chest. It was ridiculous, but I suppose that was Niall and I.

I sighed after awhile of quiet, turning my head to look at Niall. “Hope my mum and dad don’t get home anytime soon. Don’t think they’d be too keen on you, well... here.”

Niall smirked. “Aw, c’mon Ash. They love me.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “They do, as long as they never find you in my bed like you are right now.”

He just laughed and pulled me close.

I couldn’t fight the nagging feeling in the back of my head, as much as I wanted to, so after a few more minutes of silence I sighed again. “Did you mean it?” I avoided his eyes, but I could feel him looking down at me, probably with a confused expression.

“Mean what?”

I pulled away and sat up. “You love me?”

Niall groaned, and the twisting in my stomach didn’t go unnoticed. “Can’t we just lay here a little while longer?” he muttered, looking up at my ceiling, suddenly fascinated by anything that wasn’t my face.

“No, we can’t, because this is important, Niall. You can’t--you told me you loved me. What--where did that even come from?”

“What are you even on about, Ash? I--I’m in love with you, I really don’t know how much clearer I can put it.”

I watched as he scratched the back of his neck, a sign he was nervous and uncomfortable. He didn’t do it often, but when he did--well, I knew. “So you’re just, you’re in love with me? You decided tonight would be the best time to let me know? Did you like, what, did you have this planned?” I don’t know why, but that thought made my stomach clench and my heart twist. This was Niall. We were mates. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

When I caught his eye, I knew that was exactly what he had done--planned the whole night. “Oh my God,” I muttered, dropping my head to my hands.

“What’s wrong with that?” Niall asked, sounding rather upset. “I mean, Jesus Ashley. So what? I planned the whole night, wanted everything perfect. Is there anything wrong with that? Not like any of the previous blokes you shagged would have done that, that’s for damn sure.”

I scowled at him briefly when I looked up before I dropped my head again. “You don’t--you can’t do this, Niall. We’re friends. This was, oh God, this was such a mistake.” I was mumbling, probably incoherently, by then, as I crawled out of bed searching for my clothes. I didn’t look up again until I had on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. “Maybe you should go home, Niall.”

“Bullocks!” he burst, getting off the bed then. He slipped on his own sweatpants and t-shirt before turning to me with fire in his eyes. “This is shit, Ashley! Every single year, you have some bloke you’re crying over. You never choose the right lad to date and they always end up hurting you. I’m tired of sitting back while you ruin your life, so I decide I’m going to do something about it, and this is how you’re going to treat me? Are you even serious right now?”

“God, Niall! You keep bringing up the lads I’ve dated, like it matters! I made some mistakes, that doesn’t mean you have to swoop in and try to save the day, as if you, God, I don’t know--as if you owe me or something!”

“Is that what you think? That I’m trying to save you or some bullocks like that?” he asked, his voice lower and his face softer. He chuckled and shook his head. “‘s not like that at all, Ashley. At all.”

“So what is it then, Niall? Because I’m confused here. I mean, we’re mates, yeah? Pretty good ones if you ask anyone. I’m finally in a good place in my life, for the most part, and then you swoop in and knock everything off it’s axis, within minutes! I mean, Jesus! You were leaving, and then you just tell me you love me?”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and actually looked sheepish for a moment. “Yeah, all right, so that wasn’t so well thought out. I just--I was going to tell you when I came over last night, yeah? When we were toasting or whatever. But then I--I don’t know, Ash! I lost my nerve or something.”

That threw me. Niall didn’t lose his nerve, ever. He was one cocky arsehole, that was for damned sure. “How long have you had this planned?” I asked him suddenly, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“Couple years,” he said quietly, still avoiding my eyes.

My jaw dropped. “Niall! A couple [i[years? Why wouldn’t you--why didn’t you ever say something?”

He sighed and looked up. “I wanted to, but there was always someone else. Either you were with someone else, or you needed cheering up over someone else, and I just figured...” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. “I figured the time would come, but when you were crying over some bloke who broke your heart, well... that wasn’t it.”

I didn’t even realize I was doing it until the space between us was closed and I had my arms around his neck. He apparently did though, because instantly Niall was burrowing his head into my neck and holding me close.

We were only separated for a few moments before his lips were on mine.

***

By the time we surfaced for air, the sun was starting to come up and peak through my window. I knew we probably only had a few more hours before I would hear from my parents, so I kept my mobile on my nightstand and enjoyed the time--however little it may have been--with Niall.

He had his guitar and we were tangled up in my sheets once again. I was wearing his hoodie and he had slipped on his sweats to retrieve his guitar, and now I was listening to him strum some chords. “You know,” he said finally, pulling me from my thoughts, “I have one more thing for you.”

I sighed. “I’m perfectly content laying in this bed with you right now, thank you very much.”

He just grinned. I thought that was it, but then the familiar chords started playing.

“Beauty queen of only eighteen, she had some trouble with herself. He was always there to help her, she always belonged to someone else.”

I couldn’t help but laugh hearing him sing the song. Whether that was to keep me from crying hearing the song or not, I don’t know. I couldn't help but listen closely to the lyrics while Niall sang, watching me carefully while he did so.

"I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door. I've had you so many times but somehow I want more."

I burrowed my head into his arm, avoiding his gaze while he momentarily stopped playing and laughed. "Let me finish!" He chuckled. I sighed but pulled my face away so he could keep playing.

"I don't mind spending every day, out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile. And she will be loved."

I could feel the blush rising on my cheeks while I listened to Niall sing, watching me intently the entire time. His eyes burned into me. When he finished, he set his guitar to the side and fell on his side, holding himself up on his elbow while he watched me. I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling. "What's going through your mind, Ash?" He asked finally.

I turned onto my side and looked at him. "You love me?"

"A bloody stupid amount."

I nodded. Then, leaned forward and caught his lips with my own. My hands combed through his messy blonde locks and he wrapped his arm around my waist to pull my close. His hands trailed up my side, sliding under his hoodie and making goosebumps appear. My back arched and I held him close before I pulled away and pressed my forehead against his. "I think I might be in love with you, too."

He grinned. "Yeah?"

"Think I always have been, ever since the day you sat beside me on the way to primary school."

He laughed. "Even when I pissed my trousers?"

I smirked. "Well, maybe not then..."

His fingers darted out and tickled my sides, making me laugh hysterically.

When we both settled down, still tangled in each other, I sighed. I couldn't deny the feeling in my gut that told me that was the happiest I'd been in a long time, and it was all because of Niall. "Happy Christmas, Nialler."

I felt him press his lips to my forehead. "Happy Christmas, Ashley."