The Romantic & the Cynic

Pain. Absolute head shattering pain. That was the only thing that flooded through his body as he cracked his tired eyes open. His mouth was dry and his lips felt cracked as he ran his fuzzy tongue over them to moisten the surface. He had no memory of coming home but whoever had gotten him home had tucked him neatly into his bed. His shirt, socks and shoes had been removed but he was relieved to feel the jean fabric against his legs. At least he didn't have to be embarassed about someone seeing him completely naked.

He had been laid on his side and through half-open eyes, he saw that there was a fresh bottle of aspirin and two bottles of water on the nightstand beside him. Heaven to a parched man. He slowly reached his heavy armm towards the bottle and pulled it across the table. Forcing himself to sit his body up, by swinging his equally heavy legs and letting his bare feet fall to the floor. He cracked the seal on the first bottle and swallowed it in one painful go. The relief on his throat was immediate but brief. He immediately popped the cap on the pill bottle and tilted two of the white orbs out on to the palm of his open hand and threw them quickly into his mouth. The taste was bitter and chalky as he chewed on them but the didn't care. He chased it with the second bottle of water before standing up and steadying himself on the bed beside him, his night of drinking also affecting his currently skewed balance. The relief was felt as an aftertaste this time and he was glad.

After a few seconds and a couple of deep breaths, he felt his body's equilibrium return. He let go of the bed and slowly made his way to the door of his bedroom, gently opening it onto the hallway.

THe first thing that hit him was the smell of some type of wonderful food being prepared out of view in the kitchen. His stomach rumbled at the thought of something solid filling it up. It smelled like cinnamon and butter and coffee and he absolutely wanted some of it. He wondered for a moment who could be cooking since none of his bandmates were particularily gifted in the kitchen. He decided it had to be Sky who had decided to tantilize his now drooling tastebuds.

As he began to walk down the short hall to the kitchen and towards the glorious scent wafting down it, the second thing that hit him was the music that was also coming towards him. It was twangy and upbeat and reveerberated through his sore head even though it wasn't playing very loud. He was about to go and tell whomever was playing it until he turned the corner and saw an amazing sight through his bleary eyes.

Just as he had surmised a moment earlier, in front of him was not a bandmate but Sky. She was dressed in a pair of denim shorts that showed off her long glorious legs and a thin white tank top over a bright orange bikini top. Her long hair was pulledup in a loose bun. Loose tendrils of wavy hair brushed her bare shoulders, accentuating the graceful slope of her neck. Her back was to him as she mixed something in a bowl in front of her but what truly drew him in was the way her hips were currently swaying to the music playing through the small but effective speakers on the counter. He didn't recognize the song that was currently playing but it was definitely of the country variety. He leaned his body against the door jam as he felt the music build and a chorus come up. As it did, he saw Sky lift the clean spoon beside her and put it to her mouth as if it were a microphone. Her voice mixed with the CD and she lifted her arm to the ceiling as she began to sing.

When your out there underneath the sun and I'm a dirty girl

I like it when we get cleaned up on Sunday
Feel my skin against a string of pearls
And when we hang out it's, it's just fun day
You know I love it when I get to be a dirty girl

She was beginning to really get into it now. Her body swayed with the beat and her head tilted to one side as she continued to sing.

You'll be workin on that El Camino
Bustin knuckles with a monkey wrench
I'll come sneakin up and whisper real low
What you really needs a 3/16ths
And you know that there's nothing like it in the world
And you know
There's nothing like it in the world
When we're underneath the hood and I 'm a dirty girl

She raised her arm now, sinking into the music as she tasted whatever mixture she was working on. Zayn wondered if he should announce his presence but he was enjoying the view just a bit too much.

I like it when we get cleaned up on Sunday
Feel my skin against a string of pearls
And when we hang out it's, it's just a fun day
You know I love it when I get to be a dirty girl

As he watched her move, he felt the memories of the night before come bubbling up in his brain. Memories of just how those hips had felt in his hands as they had moved slowly to the beat. How close he had been to tasting those perfectly shaped lips that were now mouthing those way too suggestive words. It made his blood begin to race and he had to take a deep breath and force his body to cool down . It wasn't easy but he was able to. Until she moved on to the next part of the song.

And you know
There's nothing like it in the world
It might be axle grease of mississipi mud
But when you touch my cheek
And leave a little smudge
I'll be your dirty girl

The last line did him in. Not only because of the words but because she had turned around and seen him gazing at her, her eyes growing deep with awareness of what he had seen and the possible spectacle she had made of herself in front of him. Again. It registered clearly on his face and the spoon dropped from her hand and clattered to the ceramic tile floor. Zayn chuckled as he forced himself to breathe and pushed himself off of the corner, walking towards the kitchen. His first concern was to try to make her feel less awkward so he decided not to mention just how much he wanted to continue his actions from the night before, this time sober enough to remember them perfectly clearly.

"Morning," he said instead as he grabbed a barstool and sat himself down. "Whatever you're cooking smells wonderful."

"Thank you," she said as she quickly turned around and paid absolute attention to the bowl in front of her. "It's going to be bacon, eggs, toast and my mother's famous cinnamon rolls for breakfast. I may have gone a bit oveboard but you guys can put away quite a bit of food. And I do mean Niall." Zayn watched her back as she moved around the kitchen, nerves easily readable as she continued to ramble on. Breakfast is kind of my thing, you know. Give me some eggs, bacon and flour and I can feed an army."

Zayn knew that Sky was uncomfortable and knew it was directly related to his behaviour the night before at the club, some actions remembered and some not he was sure. Guilt made him stand up and walk over to where she was, resting his hands on her bare shoulders and gently turning her to face him.

"Sky, I need to tell I'm sorry," he said as he pulled up her dropped chin. "The stuff that I did last night was inappropriate and not meant to make you uncomfortable."

A tinge of red quickly raised to her cheeks but she remained silent.

"I've just been a little over the map lately and the alcohol made me act like a proper twat." When she remained silent still, he dropped his hand and took a step back to try to give her some room, thinking that was what held her voice back. "At least nod if you accept my apology."

He watched as she seemed to ponder what to say. He wanted to ask her what she was remembering, what he had done beyond the hazy memories that were already making him feel like had crossed an invisible line. He could see and feel it in her, that she was hiding something that had happened but if she wouldn't tell him freely, he wouldn't force it out of her. Finally she nodded her head and was able to speak.

"We both had a bit too much to drink." She smiled slightly and seemed to be flipping one last time through her own memories of the night before continuing to speak. "Let's just put it down to two adults having a fun night out and that's all. Deal?" She held out her hand then and Zayn eagerly took it.

"Deal," he said as he slowly let go and returned to the barstool. "By the way, where is everyone? It's way too quiet with only us here."

Sky rubbed some flour off of her hands before checking on the tray of buns in the oven. "Liam and Harry took Paul to get some orange juice and coffee while Louis and Niall went for a walk along the beach. They should all be back in about half an hour, just in time for these beauties to be ready to be iced."

"Like I said, it all smells great. We don't get alot of home-cooked meals when we're not back at our parents place so an old family recipe will just hit the spot." Zayn grabbed a piece of bacon off of the plate in front of him and ate it slowly. Crunchy, just like he liked it. He watched as she continued to move, stirring and mixing different items. They sat in silence for a few more moments and he found his mind wanting to ask her questions. Random questions about her favorite things or hobbies other than photography, specific questions about why she liked to take pictures so much or where her idea of romance had been so carefully cradled to fruition. He decided to stick with the family idea. "Your parents still back in Texas," he asked as he chewed the last bit of bacon.

He saw her tense again, her shoulders going rigid and her jaw clenched. He sensed he had crossed a line in the sand but didn't know why. "No," she said as she cracked a few more eggs in the bowl in front of her. The answer was simplea and stark and left no room for any more probing. Zayn chewed on another piece of bacon and tried to figure out how to move the coversation forward. It was Sky who spoke first though, not allowing Zayn to ask anymore. "What about yours though, they must be pretty proud of their famous popstar son, right?"

Zayn shrugged. "I guess so, I mean, it's not really a big topic of conversation when I see them, you know? They ask about what's going on in my life but not all the fame stuff that goes with it." It was something that Zayn was glad of, something that he treasured when he returned to Bradford. Time to just be silly with his sisters, spoiled by his mom and guided by his dad.

Sky began to whisk the eggs, adding some milk and grated cheese as she did. "They still live where you grew up?" It didn't escape him that she had ungracefully pushed the focus off of her but he decided to cooperate with her unspoken wish.

"Yeah, soft of. I mean Mom and my sisters still live in the same house I grew up in. My parents are divorced so my dad lives across town but still in Bradford." Zayn's parents had divorced when he was seven and so he had very little memory of the two of them together but they got along and kep the drama to the minimum. "Thankfully, it's all pretty normal and unboyband when I go home."

"I'm sorry about your parents," Sky said as she stopped mixing and stood on the other side of the counter from him. "How long have they been apart?"

Zayn shrugged at what he heard as the usual response of pity he always seemed to get when people found out even though over half of the world's marriages now ended in divorce. But he knew the question was only asked out of curiousity and no need to dig for dirt. "Since I was seven. They weren't getting alogn and split up. It worked out though. I have a good relationship with both and they can be in the same room without anyone needing earplugs."

"But don't you want them together? I mean, at some point, they loved each other enough to think they wouldn't want to be apart." She truly looked concerned as she spoke, trusting in the basic trueness of her words.

"Sure they did. But it's hardly an unbreakable contract. People change, people grow, people move on. I would rather have them happy seperate than miserable together." Zayn was surprised he was talking to her about this. He hadn't even talked to Perrie about his parent's divorce. She knew it as a matter of logistics but never asked anymore than that and he hadn't hared anymore. "Let me guess, you don't believe in the word divorce."

"I believe in it if the two people have done everything they can do to find a new path together again. I think that alot of people give up too easily and walk out on something that could be great again." Zayn was about to make a comment but she stopped him. "I'm not trying to say anything about your parents but just couples in general."

Zayn desperately wanted to ask about her own parents. By the way she was talking, he assumed they must still be together in a Leave It To Beaver world. He hadn't seen one of those since before he was seven due to the fighting before his parents split. But the way she had answered her only question about them made it clear there would be no comparison today.

"I just don't see it," he said as he grabbed another piece of bacon. "My parents split, me and my girlfriend crashed in very public blazing glory, you're single from what gather." He raised his eyebrow at her when she didn't answer as if to say I knew I was right. "My theory of short-term happiness seems to be beating your theory of long-term fairytale."

Sky chuckled and took her own piece. "Hey leave some for the rest of the guys." She pulled the plate away from him and faced him again. "I am waiting fo rthe right guy so that it's worth the effort because that's what real love is, a basic honest effort. And I never said I wanted or needed a Disney fairytale. I want real life romance. I want a guy who's in it for the everyday stuff with some special fluff at times. And when it's rough or painful he takes my hand and walks with me instead of walking the other way without me."

Zayn felt his breath stop for what seemed like a full minute. She had said those words with such simple passion that he knew she believed it to her core and he wanted to believe it with her. But Perrie had made sure that wasn't possible.

Sky must have seen the thoughts come across his face like an unwelcome ghost because she leaned forwarda nd cupped his hand in hers. "Not everyone is like her, she said as she softly stroked his hand. "I know that what I want exists. I've seen it with my own eyes and I've lived with it surrounding me. And I hope you find it." She paused as she stroked his hand softly. "I know you will because you deserve it, just like I do."

The waves crashing, the now soft music, the basic human contact that touched him deeper than simple skin to skin. It all overwhelmed him. He felt a tear start to fall and didn't bother wiping it away. For some reason, he felt okay with Sky seeing him this way. It was like he always had.