I'm Not Coming Back.
I've done something so terrible.
You can call it all bullshit. You can throw all of her stuff out of the apartment. You can scream. You can cry. You can drink until the room is spinning. But it's not going to bring her back. You're left alone. Your heart feels heavy and you just don't know what to do with yourself. It’s all over. Every kiss, every secret, every promise, every hope, and every dream you two ever had just got shattered in front of your face.
It’s almost too hard to handle.
Everything you two had built up in the past five years was over.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" you spat, angrily.
"I'm so sorry." She looked at the ground and wouldn't meet your eyes.
"How could you do this to me? I don't understand!" you ran you hand through your hair and after a long pause where she didn't answer you started to walk away.
"I just... I didn't know if we were for real." she said softy, just barely loud enough for you to hear.
You turned around and stormed toward her. "What do you mean you didn't know if we were for real? We've been dating for five fucking years. I'm pretty sure that means we're for real!" you screamed. You were so angry. And even more than that, you were hurt.
Her eyes grew wide when you yelled then welled with tears, "You don't understand! It’s not that I think we don't love each other! It’s just that you're the only person I've ever been with. I don't know if this is how true love feels, because this is the only love I've ever had! I can't compare you with any past boyfriends, because I've never even had one. I'm only getting older and I don't know if I'm missing out on experiences or not. I just... I couldn't wait any longer. I'm sorry, I really am!"
"I didn't even know that that bothered you so much!" you exclaimed. It felt like someone was slowly pushing something sharp and heavy through your chest. Breathing was beginning to get harder. "We could have talked about this!"
"I tried, I really did." she paused, "I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry. I know this is the end, I knew that fully well before I did what I did. But I honestly don't regret anything other than hurting you. I just wish we could have met at a different time in my life."
It didn't make much sense to you, but that was how it ended.
You had left for work and came home to find your girlfriend and another guy laying together on your couch. They weren't doing anything, but your girlfriend had her legs lying across his and that was enough for you to make him leave. You asked her who he was and why you hadn't heard about him before.
She told you he was a friend. But when you asked if they had ever done anything together you saw a tear fall from her eye and you knew. She told you they had only kissed once, and that it had happened today, but you didn't believe it at all.
She had betrayed you and it felt more awful than anything had ever felt in your entire life. This was the girl you had talked about having kids with. This was the girl you had been looking at engagement rings for the past few weeks. You were gonna marry her! And then, almost all of the sudden it ended.
And God, it just hurt you so much. You don't think you can bare it. She was the whole reason you kept on living. What was the point of living if you didn't have her anymore? Everything you wanted out of life involved her. And you knew deep down in your heart you'd never be able to replace her. Your life ended the moment you two had broken up.
It’s almost too hard to handle.
Everything you two had built up in the past five years was over.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" you spat, angrily.
"I'm so sorry." She looked at the ground and wouldn't meet your eyes.
"How could you do this to me? I don't understand!" you ran you hand through your hair and after a long pause where she didn't answer you started to walk away.
"I just... I didn't know if we were for real." she said softy, just barely loud enough for you to hear.
You turned around and stormed toward her. "What do you mean you didn't know if we were for real? We've been dating for five fucking years. I'm pretty sure that means we're for real!" you screamed. You were so angry. And even more than that, you were hurt.
Her eyes grew wide when you yelled then welled with tears, "You don't understand! It’s not that I think we don't love each other! It’s just that you're the only person I've ever been with. I don't know if this is how true love feels, because this is the only love I've ever had! I can't compare you with any past boyfriends, because I've never even had one. I'm only getting older and I don't know if I'm missing out on experiences or not. I just... I couldn't wait any longer. I'm sorry, I really am!"
"I didn't even know that that bothered you so much!" you exclaimed. It felt like someone was slowly pushing something sharp and heavy through your chest. Breathing was beginning to get harder. "We could have talked about this!"
"I tried, I really did." she paused, "I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry. I know this is the end, I knew that fully well before I did what I did. But I honestly don't regret anything other than hurting you. I just wish we could have met at a different time in my life."
It didn't make much sense to you, but that was how it ended.
You had left for work and came home to find your girlfriend and another guy laying together on your couch. They weren't doing anything, but your girlfriend had her legs lying across his and that was enough for you to make him leave. You asked her who he was and why you hadn't heard about him before.
She told you he was a friend. But when you asked if they had ever done anything together you saw a tear fall from her eye and you knew. She told you they had only kissed once, and that it had happened today, but you didn't believe it at all.
She had betrayed you and it felt more awful than anything had ever felt in your entire life. This was the girl you had talked about having kids with. This was the girl you had been looking at engagement rings for the past few weeks. You were gonna marry her! And then, almost all of the sudden it ended.
And God, it just hurt you so much. You don't think you can bare it. She was the whole reason you kept on living. What was the point of living if you didn't have her anymore? Everything you wanted out of life involved her. And you knew deep down in your heart you'd never be able to replace her. Your life ended the moment you two had broken up.