Teenage Dream
Teenage Dream
Chapter Two
Fireworks In The Dark
Ian's POV
I was biting my nails as I waited for Anthony to come to my house at 1PM. I got back from my psychiatrist appointment that day and he wanted to know the results. My mom left for work and the house was silent as I sat on my bed nervously. I jumped when there was a sudden knock on my door, hearing Anthony hesitantly ask: "…Ian?" My left hand kept behind my back as I opened my bedroom door, for once Anthony looking not happy to see me. He was frowning and worried. He stepped into my room and I shut the door behind him. "Please tell me you have good news." I kept quiet as I brought my left hand around and opened my clenched fist, revealing a small orange bottle of prescribed pills to him. His brown eyes stared down at it for a few moments before he looked straight into my eyes and said so seriously: "You're not taking those." Anthony took them from my hand and inspected the bottle, disappointed hopefully not in me. "I don't want to take them. But how am I supposed to get rid of them without my mom still thinking I'm taking them every day?" Anthony sighed angrily and threw the bottle onto my bed. "J-just wash them down the sink." Damn. That was smart.
"Sounds good. But god, all my mom had to do was tell the doc that I'm a happy and energetic boy, saying it in her own words, and the doctor said I have ADHD. I knew they wouldn't listen to me. They're both fucking stupid. I'm super pissed at my mom." Now I was as frustrated as Anthony, but I had to find a lighter side to the situation. I didn't want to be angry all day. "But at least you're on my side, Anthony. At least somebody cares about my well-being." He was staring out my window blankly then turned to acknowledge my gratitude, a barely showable and weak smile on his face. He stepped up close and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, hugging me for the second time that day. We never hugged but the whole point of embracing someone was to show that you cared about that person. Taking the comfort he was offering, I hugged him back, feeling his warm body against mine. I did feel comforted in that brief moment. It didn't matter to me if my brain made me extra hyper. It wasn't a bad thing. If anything it made me happier, and my mom should have been, too. I wasn't some rebellious teen who was depressed and gothic. I didn't get tattoos and a bunch of piercings. I didn't do drugs or drink or party all night. So her worrying over ADHD was really lame. She could have had bigger worries about me.
Anthony let me go and smiled. "I care. A lot. I'm not gonna let them change you. I'll protect you. Anytime you need me, I'll be here." Damn. I didn't know he could be so supportive. "Thanks, man. I appreciate that. Today has been shitty so far; let's do something to make it better." The smile I gave caused Anthony to grin, and he nodded eagerly in return. Since we sucked at sports and all the videogames and good movies were at Anthony's house, there wasn't much to do. After a few minutes of thinking and no ideas thought up, I made up my own game. "Hey, if you could travel to any country right now, where would you want to go?" Anthony gave me a puzzled look. "Um…Paris, France." He looked confused when I stood in front of him with a smile. "Alright then. Hecox Airlines is ready for flight. Ready for passengers to board." I turned my back to him and waited for a few seconds but Anthony did nothing. "Get on my back." I hissed, and Anthony slowly obliged, unsure as I crouched down and he got on my back. He was heavier than me, and bigger. Maybe Hecox Airlines would have some trouble getting off the ground. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I supported his legs with my hands, the piggy-back ride a little more intense than I originally thought.
"One way trip to Paris it is." I made barely four steps before I stopped and grunted: "Get the door." Anthony reached out and awkwardly opened it so I could get through and stand in the hallway. "Plane is now ready to go down runway, please fasten seatbelts." Anthony unwrapped his right hand and pretended to do so, making a clicking noise and eagerly saying: "Ready for takeoff." I made my body shake as I quickly started walking down the long hallway, picking up the pace and going: "Vrrrooomm!" to impersonate a plane. "Whee!" Anthony cheered, finally playing along to my dumb game. I carried him out to the backyard and pretended like it was different countries. I strutted over the lawn, acting like a tour guide or some shit. "The green fields you see below are the few of many that spread out over England's royal country." I heard Anthony chuckle in my right ear. "Wow, this is one fast plane ride. It took barely a minute to travel all the way across the US, over the ocean, and fly over Europe. How fast is this plane going anyway?" I walked along my house's high wooden fence. "Oh, about thirteen million miles an hour." He gasped quietly. "Wow, that's fast. And it feels like we're only going two to three miles an hour." I nodded proudly. "Yep. This plane is special like that. Now if you look to your left you will see the Berlin Wall. It's a beautiful structure, no?" Right then I pictured Europe on a map; seeing in my head that Germany was far away from France. Oops.
"I thought it was made of stone, not wood. But it is quite beautiful. All old and creaky. What other countries can I see?" I backtracked to the porch with my back beginning to ache, slowly passing by my mom's flower bushes all full with color and prettiness. "Well, these bushes you see are in um…the gardens of France, and oh look!" I stopped in front of the chimney up on the roof, staring up at it. "Welcome, Anthony. To the Eiffel Tower in Paris." We really had to stretch our imaginations at that point. A dirty, brick, and old square chimney was not the hundreds of feet tall structure in the actual France but hey, if Anthony played along it was worth it. "Captain Ian, I heard it lights up at night. Will it tonight?" I was stumped momentarily. "Uh…yeah. Now, are you ready to go home?" My arms started to burn under Anthony's legs and there was a crick in my neck. "Yeah. Take me home, Cape-tan!" I gladly carried him inside, back down the hallway and into my room, grunting, groaning, and moaning all at the same time when I dropped him on my bed. "T-there. Trip to…yeah." I caught my breath and stretched, the intense piggy-back ride done. Permanently. "That Eiffel Tower sure was a sight to see." Several moments of silence went by, Anthony looking around with nothing to say while I did my best to relax the muscles in my arms.
His brown eyes made their way over to my nightstand, keeping his attention for some reason. "…Those Gummy Bears?" Anthony was staring at the shiny bronze plastic package of candy lying idly by my alarm clock. "Why yes they are. Have some if you like." As he carefully tore open the package my body stopped aching, and it made me smile to watch Anthony try to slowly tear open a corner of the package but couldn't. So he pulled harder and his eyes went wide when it burst open and gummy bears went spilling onto my bed, his attempt a total failure. He stared down at it, mumbling: "Fuck." I laughed sat on my bed with him, picking up a red bear off my covers and eating it, chewing and tasting the cherry flavor while Anthony did the same, a clear little bear idly sitting in his fingers and waiting to be devoured. That gummy disappeared into his mouth along with two more. It was all fine and good until Anthony whispered: "They're good." Before tilting his head back and dumping the gummies from the bag into his mouth like a hungry beast. "Don't eat them all!" I lunged towards him, reaching out to take my candy away from him. Half the bag was already gone and even more bears were splayed out on my bed. He saw that and dodged me, quickly scooting off my bed and turning his back to me to protect the gummies. He was playing one of his sneaky games; if he was trying to tease me it was working.
I jumped behind him, wrapping both arms around his torso to grab my candy. But Anthony twisted out of my hold gracefully, holding the candy up high and teasing: "Come and get them." It was obvious I was already doing so. Whichever way I approached him, he managed to keep his back to me, the bag of gummy bears tucked safely between his hands pressed into his stomach. "Gimme!" That time I forced my arms to lock around Anthony and not get my hold to be broken. So for a few moments we stood there with me hugging from behind, neither one of us ready to give up. In those few seconds, I realized I had never been so psychically close to him. Guy friends weren't allowed to get close. They could give like a quick bro hug or get close to punch one another. But not in a total bear hug. Especially over candy. So I guess it was supposed to feel awkward and weird and wrong. But it didn't. Anthony was a close friend. A best friend. I guess bro-bonding stopped being awkward after a certain point. "You gonna give me those bears now?" He laughed at my threat. "...No!" He lunged roughly away and out of my grip, jumping on my bed with me dashing after him. "Not gonna get it!" He shouted with the biggest smile ever. As soon as my feet hit the covers he jumped off, keeping the candy out of my reach as I lunged for it on my knees. He laughed and held it above his head; I was gonna get them this time.
Anthony sort of froze as I reached up, my hands outstretched and my face inches from his. My eyes were on his hands up high while he wasn't even paying attention. It was sweet victory when I snatched the bag from Anthony's stiff, unmoving fingers. "Yeah!" I cheered, falling back on my comfy bed and popping two green bears in my mouth. Anthony just sort of stood by, looking at me all confused. He must have been taking the loss really hard. "Oh don't take it too hard, friend. You can have some more gummy bears if you promise not to go all Bowser ape-shit on them." His stunned look turned into a wide grin and he sat on my bed, that time only taking three bears. In just a few minutes a bag of gummy bears that would have taken me about half a day to eat by myself was almost gone in five minutes. "Well that was fun, Anthony. We haven't had a battle that intense in a long time." He scoffed with a grin. "The last battle we had, I was stuck in a tree for three hours from a hide-and-seek game. And when you finally found me, you slipped and fell out of the tree. It was gruesome to watch you fall like ten feet straight onto your back. That was intense." I forgot about that until he reminded me. "Oh, yeah. That hurt. But it got you out of the tree since you had to come help me. Yeah, I'm glad this one took place in my comfy room." We both agreed on that and didn't say anything for several moments, the gummy bears losing their entertainment.
"There isn't as many things to do as I first thought. I hope we get to have a lot more fun and excitement this summer." I said with boredom creeping on me. Anthony sighed deeply. "Well I have a car but I only know some of the roads outside the neighborhood. So if you and me took a road trip, we would get lost, run out of gas, and possibly starve to death on an abandoned road." Picturing that was scary but Anthony was smirking at me. "Which means, Ian, we have to have lots of fun this summer right here in the hood." He threw a West Side with his right hand and posed like a thug. "…You're saying we should be gangsters this summer?" He shrugged as he bit off the head of a red bear. "Maybe. But we should find something fun to do. Like a project or something. Something we can work on every day and have fun with. I don't have much money for gas and I'm the only one with a car so we need to something at home. What could we do all summer?" My mind drew a complete blank after a few seconds. "…I have no idea. But I just got 50 First Dates! Have you seen it yet?" I got even more excited when he shook his head.
"No, but any movie with Adam Sandler is awesome." I agreed and we decided to instantly watch the movie. I didn't have a TV in my room and the one in the living room was currently broken no thanks to my sister who accidently spilled soda over it. Neither me nor my mom had forgiven her for that. So we had to watch it in my room on my portable DVD player, the damn small screen making us sit close together on my bed with the player on the edge of our laps. Anthony was squished by me on my right, not looking uncomfortable in the least by our situation. In that moment I realized we could have gone back to his house and watched the movie in his living room. He had a 40 inch TV, but the movie was already starting and I guess my epiphany didn't occur to him. We were instantly laughing as Adam's boat got all messed up in the beginning and had to go to some diner to wait for the coastguard. His name was Henry in the movie, and there he met Drew Barrymore, or Lucy. Henry got all flirty and watched as Lucy made her waffles into a little sticky house. We laughed again when she smelled his hands and said they smelled like fish, the DVD player rocking from our bodies shaking with laughter. He flirted in a creepy way but she seemed to like it. He went back the next day to see her but then shit got serious.
He was told that she got into a bad car accident on October 31st the year before and she got really bad amnesia. She woke up every day thinking it was still the 31st so she couldn't remember meeting Henry. And it sucked to find out that the 31st was her dad's birthday and her brother and father pretended like it was still that day because whenever they confessed she got in the car accident, she would cry and lose it. With no memory of the crash, Lucy lived every day stuck in time without knowing it. Some comedy that was. I thought it would be hard to laugh again but before I knew it I ran out of breath when Henry thought up ways for Lucy to fall in love with him. His penguin Willy nearly got run over by Lucy in her jeep and his buddy Ula pretended to beat him up only to have Lucy chase after him with a baseball bat, whacking the crap outta him. But the laughter died again when she found out about her car accident when her dad and brother explained it to her. So she went to this brain institute and learned about what happened and Henry makes a tape for her to watch every day explaining the crash and their relationship. She got all emotional and after a shit-ton of dreams about her boyfriend she never met, Lucy destroyed everything that has to do with him. But Henry wouldn't give up after his own emotional breakdown and sometime later Lucy woke up one morning and sees a tape that said: "Good Morning Lucy". She found out what happened in the car crash, how it was not October 31st of last year, and how she was married to Henry and had a daughter Nicole. Freaked out, she went outside and she was on a sailboat in the winter and saw a little girl with her husband. Henry and Lucy kissed and the movie ended with a big mushy feeling.
I turned off the movie and moved the DVD player off my lap and onto the floor with a big sigh. "That was more romance than comedy. Is love as great as it looks in the movies? You've had girlfriends in the past. Is romance all it's cracked up to be?" I asked Anthony, literally not knowing since I never had a girlfriend before. He looked surprised next to me, taking a few moments to think about it. "Well…it depends on the person. Sometimes you can fall for someone quickly but when you actually get a shot with them, they aren't all that great. You barely knew them and it turns out you can't wait to get away. The first two of my girlfriends were like that. In the movies you see people rushing into love then they're together forever. But it never worked that way for me. The faster you like a stranger the faster you find all their faults. If you don't take time to know them, you don't get time to accept them for all they are. I have yet to find a real girlfriend. I just can't know girls for long because they fall in love with my face instead of personality. Love might be great, but you have to find the right person. So I don't really know, Ian. When you think you've found the right person then you can decide for yourself." Anthony gave a small smile, causing love to seem so complicated. Maybe a girlfriend would be a nightmare for me.
The end of the movie flashed in my head then vanished. "And what about kissing? What makes that so great?" That simple question made him blush and he felt awkward about it. "Um…that also depends on the person. It won't be great unless you are dying to be close to them, then it's…um…great. Like when you fall in love with someone, just being with them is fine, but actually touching them and holding them is what really makes love spark. Then I guess kissing is like the next step. You got really close and now you're ready to give everything you are to that person…because you trust them. And even if you've never kissed anyone before, if you find that one person right off the bat, then you won't have to wonder if your first kiss was as great as society makes it sound." His awkwardness vanished as he looked straight into my eyes, and I believed everything he was telling me. He had dated five girls in his life so far; maybe he learned all that knowledge on his own. He took a small pause in the tender and soft moment, our rough guy friendship totally MIA at that point. "…It can be the greatest thing in the world." I used those words and tried to imagine what it would be like in my head. But imagining up some random girl I didn't actually know didn't work all that well. "I see. And I have to wait until I get a girlfriend to experience that." I looked down for one split second before I heard him say in a rush: "Not necessarily." Before my chin was tilted up and Anthony was suddenly a lot closer.
My eyes were wide when I saw his face right in front of me, and even crazier, his mouth pressed against mine. Holy…shit! Is he serious?? Right now? Once I realized that my best friend had decided to give me my first kiss, my heart sped up and I blushed an insane amount, my hands trembled and shock was growing. Only a few seconds had passed by but it felt like an eternity, and instead of pulling away disgusted, I closed my eyes and still felt the kiss as everything was dark around me. A sudden flash of red flared out, shimmering white sparks blasting outwards, then a flash of blue then green. Yellow lit up the darkness in sparks then faded to orange. I knew what those were. They were fireworks you only see on the Fourth of July. But they were right there in the darkness of my vision. Going off as I had no control over them. I guess he was right. Kissing could have been as great as it sounded. One more amazing blue firework flashed out then vanished when the pressure on my lips slipped away. How much time had gone by? Did it matter? My eyes were heavy as they opened, and my room was rocking back and forth a little before they focused and found Anthony smiling at me about half a foot away. "D-did you just…kiss me?" I was dazed and confused but he seemed to have his head on straight.
"I-I think so. I think I just got all caught up in the moment. I didn't want you to have to wait for who knows how long. But I wasn't wondering if your first kiss would only be good with a girl." He grinned and tried not to laugh. "I-I gave you your first kiss and I'm not a girl. So how are you supposed to know if it was any good or not?" Anthony fell back on the covers and laughed, not freaking out like a normal straight guy should when they got kissed by another guy. But he did the kissing. What the hell did all this mean? I'm not an idiot. I know what romance is supposed to feel like. You're supposed to feel a rush. Feel like you're melting. Like you're in paradise when lost in the darkness of your eyes. Your heart is supposed to speed up and your body is supposed to tremble with excitement. First kisses could be horrible or amazing. Damn…Anthony. I don't think it was the kiss that caused it. Anthony gave it. So…I felt like that from…him? Anthony was still laughing to himself by the time I snapped back into reality, finding myself all mixed up in confusion and other shit I didn't understand. "I saw fireworks." My voice was low but he caught that, sitting up looking surprised. "Fireworks? Does that mean you liked it?" I was pretty sure I already had the answer but I thought it over again. Is Anthony just that good of a romantic? "…It-it was everything…a kiss should feel like. From what I've heard over the years." Now I was the one acting awkward. That kept the grin on his happy face. "Well fuck, that's awesome. Maybe having those brief relationships with girls was a good thing. So there you go. First kiss down. And you didn't even need a girlfriend." Anthony smirked at me. "They're kind of bitches anyways. You're not missing out." He laughed again, so bubbly while I could hardly get a grip on myself. Anthony had suddenly changed. All school year he was normal and as soon as summer came, he became closer to me. Maybe it was because it was just me and him. At school he was surrounded by other people. Guy friends, girl friends, emos, jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, geeks, freaks, tweaks, and everything in-between. He wasn't super popular, but people liked him for his honesty, humor, and chill attitude. He was there for a friend when they were upset. He was the motivator for the unmotivated. His smile always caused his friends to do the same. He had a big group of friends at school who he hung out with during lunch.
He tried to get me involved in the group but I never really fit in. When I was just with Anthony I was spontaneous, loud, and carefree. But the few times I tried to hang out with all of them, I was the weird one. I was shy and quiet while everyone else demanded Anthony's attention. He didn't like how I spent the lunch break doing my own thing, usually hanging out in the library doing nothing. I was at least comforted knowing he kept me as his only best friend and after hanging out with his other pals, he would only come spend time with me after school and on weekends. Whenever I felt like an outcast at school, Anthony's constant dedication to me let me know I really wasn't one. The sucky part was that it wasn't Anthony who decided to abandon me during the forty-five minute break. It was the other, lesser friends who wouldn't allow him to hang with me. Literally. That pissed him off and on several occasions Anthony straight up told them no, leaving them to spend time with me.
But even though Anthony never admitted it, I knew why he hung out with them way more than me during lunch. He didn't want to lose that popularity because if he did, he would feel all alone and would take it way too fucking personally. They made him feel liked and appreciated, and those twenty or so other people he stayed with motived him to please and entertain them. I lost count how many times he got in trouble trying to make those douchebags laugh. Anthony couldn't lose them. His self-confidence was attached to his "friends" and if he lost them, he would lose respect for himself. Blame it on his actions. He told everyone that he wouldn't let problems get to him; he would shrug it off and do his own thing. Everyone was blind to the truth. From what I had seen, none of them took the time to delve deeper into his actual personality. That's what made them douchebags. Sure he came off as a happy and carefree dude when spending time with me, but he was more sensitive than he cared to confess. He would bitch about shit in his life but did it in a "manly" way. Not really incorporating his feelings. So knowing that, I simply let him go during lunchtime even though I was lonely and bored for nearly an hour each weekday.
So now that school was over, he probably felt guilty for leaving me all alone and as my best friend, he had the heart to make it up to me. The day before Anthony said he wanted to spend all summer with me and he meant it. He hadn't had a girlfriend in nearly a year, and it was because he didn't want one. He couldn't find a girl good enough for him. High School turned girls into bitches and whores begging for popularity and attention. And after his fifth girlfriend he got fed up with, he just stopped trying to find love. So after that long while without romance, there was a good chance that was why Anthony kissed me. It was a total fact that teenagers wanted love and their hormones were the cause of it. Maybe it had been too long for Anthony. Maybe those hormones caused him to get caught up in the moment like he said. If that was the case, no romantic feelings would form inside him. We would never do something so crazy again and never talk about it. Guys did that. Moment of weakness over. My first kiss happened. Time to move on. "Ian. Ian!" Everything came back into focus when Anthony snapped his fingers in my face. How long was I lost in thought?
"W-what?" Anthony appeared as confused as I was. "What do you think?" What was he was talking to me about? I stared at him and I just heard background noise when I was thinking all that time. I can't let him know I wasn't listening to him. "…Yes." My clueless answer caused his eyebrows to raise and get a total look of surprise to come over him. Anthony scoffed in disbelief and a shocked grin on his face. "D-damn. I think we both need to think this through a little more. Take the rest of the day to do it and come to my house at one o'clock tomorrow. Fuck I didn't expect that answer from you." Anthony was shocked but sort of happy as he got off my bed and headed to my door, looking back at me to scoff in disbelief again before leaving to go home. When I heard the front door to my house shut, I sat there in complete confusion. "What the fuck did he say to me?" As hard as I tried to make out anything he said, all I heard was mumbling and my thoughts. I gave him an answer to something that shocked him. What the fuck was it? Anthony told me to think about something I had no clue about. So I couldn't think about it, which meant that I had to give him another answer to the same question. If I told him that I wasn't listening to something that important Anthony would get pissed at me. Maybe I should say no…see what happens. God dammit.
Instead of thinking about whatever the fuck he told me, I spent the rest of the day being lazy playing video games, watching TV, eating junk food, surfing the web, listening to music, then fell asleep totally bored until my mom came home at night when she told me dinner was ready. The six-hour nap I took stopped me from getting tired that night and plus I was restless as I tried to sleep. I tossed and turned in the dark, adjusted my pillow and fussed with the covers. My brain wouldn't stop thinking and worrying. What if Anthony was talking about something not that important? Even if he was…I still have this terrible feeling. For some reason I can't get it out of my mind. What if it's not that bad? Why am I dreading something I have no clue about? I turned on my side with the covers up to my chin, annoyed and scared. "Why was Anthony so happy?" It was 1AM by the time tiredness covered my worry. It shut up my thoughts and let me sleep. I had no choice. I had to face Anthony later that day; if I avoided him it would only complicate whatever situation we were in. Something weird was going on, and I didn't like it.
A loud tune played out suddenly near me. It was my lame ringtone when I got a call. While it demanded my attention I groaned first and buried my face in my pillow. Reaching my right hand out to my nightstand, I felt for my cell phone but it slipped off the wooden stand and onto the carpet when I attempted to grab it. "Fuuucckk…" Forcing my eyes open I saw that it was morning but didn't know the time. My body was stiff as I sat up and retrieved my phone off the floor, flipping it open in annoyance. "What?" My tone was harsh and I sort of regretted it when I heard my mom's voice. "No need to get angry, Ian. I just wanted to remind you to take your pills. It's one o'clock, the time you need to take them. Remember?" I forgot. "O-oh yeah. Alright. I'll take them now." I lied, feeling the need to go back to sleep. That was all she wanted to tell me and the phone call didn't even last one minute. Checking my phone for any text messages and seeing none, my eyes drifted over to the clock on the screen. It was 1:10PM. Don't I have to do something…? Dead tired and feeling like a zombie I put it in the back of my mind, taking one pill of my ADHD medication into the bathroom. I just dropped the small white pill down the drain in the sink and ran the water for a few seconds. Yay.
It was hard to wake up until freezing cold water hit my body in the shower; my dumb ass forgot to wait until the water was warm to get in naked. "Holy shit!" I shrieked, desperately grabbing for the faucet. "My head isn't on straight." The cold water quickly turned warm and like always, I spent the twenty or so minutes thinking while getting clean. So I went to bed last night…um. What happened yesterday? I-I can't even think right now. What time did I go to bed…? Suddenly I remembered why 1PM was so important that day. Anthony told me to go to his house at that hour. "Oh my god!" I gasped, snapping my eyes open only to have them burn as the soap around my eyes sank into my eyeballs. "Shit!" Normally I wasn't a spaz in the shower but everything that happened the day before came flooding into my sleepy brain. Anthony and I hung out and he kissed me, telling me something I wasn't paying attention to, then I said yes to whatever it was. He got surprised and I was supposed to go to his house and act like I knew what was going on. "Oww…today sucks already." Warm water washed out my burning eyes and even though I didn't want to go see Anthony, I finished showering quickly, in a hurry when I didn't want to be.
My brown hair was dripping with water as I struggled to get boxers and my grey cargo shorts on my half-dried body. "I don't know about this…" The light blue Vans shirt I chose stuck to my damp torso as did the socks I put on. "Stupid clothes." My converse shoes were messily tied over my feet and my slow-drying hair was brushed quickly before I headed out the door with my cell phone shoved in my right pocket. If Anthony needed me so much he could have called but he didn't, so it was stupid of me to be in a rush. It was the damn shock of the day before that kept me nervous. Having a driver's license but no car, my bike was my only mode of transportation. Because we both lived in the same small neighborhood, it was a three-minute ride to his house and when I got there, leaving the bike by the tree in his yard, nervous instead of happy to see him. His mom was at work so it was just him in the house. I went straight into his house, only feeling the need to knock on his closed bedroom door. But I hesitated to knock. Twice. I'm just over thinking this. Nothing is going to change between us. I forced my knuckles on his door and I heard Anthony tell me to come in. I was about to find out what he asked me; I just hoped it had nothing to do with our kiss. What if it does…?
Fireworks In The Dark
Ian's POV
I was biting my nails as I waited for Anthony to come to my house at 1PM. I got back from my psychiatrist appointment that day and he wanted to know the results. My mom left for work and the house was silent as I sat on my bed nervously. I jumped when there was a sudden knock on my door, hearing Anthony hesitantly ask: "…Ian?" My left hand kept behind my back as I opened my bedroom door, for once Anthony looking not happy to see me. He was frowning and worried. He stepped into my room and I shut the door behind him. "Please tell me you have good news." I kept quiet as I brought my left hand around and opened my clenched fist, revealing a small orange bottle of prescribed pills to him. His brown eyes stared down at it for a few moments before he looked straight into my eyes and said so seriously: "You're not taking those." Anthony took them from my hand and inspected the bottle, disappointed hopefully not in me. "I don't want to take them. But how am I supposed to get rid of them without my mom still thinking I'm taking them every day?" Anthony sighed angrily and threw the bottle onto my bed. "J-just wash them down the sink." Damn. That was smart.
"Sounds good. But god, all my mom had to do was tell the doc that I'm a happy and energetic boy, saying it in her own words, and the doctor said I have ADHD. I knew they wouldn't listen to me. They're both fucking stupid. I'm super pissed at my mom." Now I was as frustrated as Anthony, but I had to find a lighter side to the situation. I didn't want to be angry all day. "But at least you're on my side, Anthony. At least somebody cares about my well-being." He was staring out my window blankly then turned to acknowledge my gratitude, a barely showable and weak smile on his face. He stepped up close and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, hugging me for the second time that day. We never hugged but the whole point of embracing someone was to show that you cared about that person. Taking the comfort he was offering, I hugged him back, feeling his warm body against mine. I did feel comforted in that brief moment. It didn't matter to me if my brain made me extra hyper. It wasn't a bad thing. If anything it made me happier, and my mom should have been, too. I wasn't some rebellious teen who was depressed and gothic. I didn't get tattoos and a bunch of piercings. I didn't do drugs or drink or party all night. So her worrying over ADHD was really lame. She could have had bigger worries about me.
Anthony let me go and smiled. "I care. A lot. I'm not gonna let them change you. I'll protect you. Anytime you need me, I'll be here." Damn. I didn't know he could be so supportive. "Thanks, man. I appreciate that. Today has been shitty so far; let's do something to make it better." The smile I gave caused Anthony to grin, and he nodded eagerly in return. Since we sucked at sports and all the videogames and good movies were at Anthony's house, there wasn't much to do. After a few minutes of thinking and no ideas thought up, I made up my own game. "Hey, if you could travel to any country right now, where would you want to go?" Anthony gave me a puzzled look. "Um…Paris, France." He looked confused when I stood in front of him with a smile. "Alright then. Hecox Airlines is ready for flight. Ready for passengers to board." I turned my back to him and waited for a few seconds but Anthony did nothing. "Get on my back." I hissed, and Anthony slowly obliged, unsure as I crouched down and he got on my back. He was heavier than me, and bigger. Maybe Hecox Airlines would have some trouble getting off the ground. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I supported his legs with my hands, the piggy-back ride a little more intense than I originally thought.
"One way trip to Paris it is." I made barely four steps before I stopped and grunted: "Get the door." Anthony reached out and awkwardly opened it so I could get through and stand in the hallway. "Plane is now ready to go down runway, please fasten seatbelts." Anthony unwrapped his right hand and pretended to do so, making a clicking noise and eagerly saying: "Ready for takeoff." I made my body shake as I quickly started walking down the long hallway, picking up the pace and going: "Vrrrooomm!" to impersonate a plane. "Whee!" Anthony cheered, finally playing along to my dumb game. I carried him out to the backyard and pretended like it was different countries. I strutted over the lawn, acting like a tour guide or some shit. "The green fields you see below are the few of many that spread out over England's royal country." I heard Anthony chuckle in my right ear. "Wow, this is one fast plane ride. It took barely a minute to travel all the way across the US, over the ocean, and fly over Europe. How fast is this plane going anyway?" I walked along my house's high wooden fence. "Oh, about thirteen million miles an hour." He gasped quietly. "Wow, that's fast. And it feels like we're only going two to three miles an hour." I nodded proudly. "Yep. This plane is special like that. Now if you look to your left you will see the Berlin Wall. It's a beautiful structure, no?" Right then I pictured Europe on a map; seeing in my head that Germany was far away from France. Oops.
"I thought it was made of stone, not wood. But it is quite beautiful. All old and creaky. What other countries can I see?" I backtracked to the porch with my back beginning to ache, slowly passing by my mom's flower bushes all full with color and prettiness. "Well, these bushes you see are in um…the gardens of France, and oh look!" I stopped in front of the chimney up on the roof, staring up at it. "Welcome, Anthony. To the Eiffel Tower in Paris." We really had to stretch our imaginations at that point. A dirty, brick, and old square chimney was not the hundreds of feet tall structure in the actual France but hey, if Anthony played along it was worth it. "Captain Ian, I heard it lights up at night. Will it tonight?" I was stumped momentarily. "Uh…yeah. Now, are you ready to go home?" My arms started to burn under Anthony's legs and there was a crick in my neck. "Yeah. Take me home, Cape-tan!" I gladly carried him inside, back down the hallway and into my room, grunting, groaning, and moaning all at the same time when I dropped him on my bed. "T-there. Trip to…yeah." I caught my breath and stretched, the intense piggy-back ride done. Permanently. "That Eiffel Tower sure was a sight to see." Several moments of silence went by, Anthony looking around with nothing to say while I did my best to relax the muscles in my arms.
His brown eyes made their way over to my nightstand, keeping his attention for some reason. "…Those Gummy Bears?" Anthony was staring at the shiny bronze plastic package of candy lying idly by my alarm clock. "Why yes they are. Have some if you like." As he carefully tore open the package my body stopped aching, and it made me smile to watch Anthony try to slowly tear open a corner of the package but couldn't. So he pulled harder and his eyes went wide when it burst open and gummy bears went spilling onto my bed, his attempt a total failure. He stared down at it, mumbling: "Fuck." I laughed sat on my bed with him, picking up a red bear off my covers and eating it, chewing and tasting the cherry flavor while Anthony did the same, a clear little bear idly sitting in his fingers and waiting to be devoured. That gummy disappeared into his mouth along with two more. It was all fine and good until Anthony whispered: "They're good." Before tilting his head back and dumping the gummies from the bag into his mouth like a hungry beast. "Don't eat them all!" I lunged towards him, reaching out to take my candy away from him. Half the bag was already gone and even more bears were splayed out on my bed. He saw that and dodged me, quickly scooting off my bed and turning his back to me to protect the gummies. He was playing one of his sneaky games; if he was trying to tease me it was working.
I jumped behind him, wrapping both arms around his torso to grab my candy. But Anthony twisted out of my hold gracefully, holding the candy up high and teasing: "Come and get them." It was obvious I was already doing so. Whichever way I approached him, he managed to keep his back to me, the bag of gummy bears tucked safely between his hands pressed into his stomach. "Gimme!" That time I forced my arms to lock around Anthony and not get my hold to be broken. So for a few moments we stood there with me hugging from behind, neither one of us ready to give up. In those few seconds, I realized I had never been so psychically close to him. Guy friends weren't allowed to get close. They could give like a quick bro hug or get close to punch one another. But not in a total bear hug. Especially over candy. So I guess it was supposed to feel awkward and weird and wrong. But it didn't. Anthony was a close friend. A best friend. I guess bro-bonding stopped being awkward after a certain point. "You gonna give me those bears now?" He laughed at my threat. "...No!" He lunged roughly away and out of my grip, jumping on my bed with me dashing after him. "Not gonna get it!" He shouted with the biggest smile ever. As soon as my feet hit the covers he jumped off, keeping the candy out of my reach as I lunged for it on my knees. He laughed and held it above his head; I was gonna get them this time.
Anthony sort of froze as I reached up, my hands outstretched and my face inches from his. My eyes were on his hands up high while he wasn't even paying attention. It was sweet victory when I snatched the bag from Anthony's stiff, unmoving fingers. "Yeah!" I cheered, falling back on my comfy bed and popping two green bears in my mouth. Anthony just sort of stood by, looking at me all confused. He must have been taking the loss really hard. "Oh don't take it too hard, friend. You can have some more gummy bears if you promise not to go all Bowser ape-shit on them." His stunned look turned into a wide grin and he sat on my bed, that time only taking three bears. In just a few minutes a bag of gummy bears that would have taken me about half a day to eat by myself was almost gone in five minutes. "Well that was fun, Anthony. We haven't had a battle that intense in a long time." He scoffed with a grin. "The last battle we had, I was stuck in a tree for three hours from a hide-and-seek game. And when you finally found me, you slipped and fell out of the tree. It was gruesome to watch you fall like ten feet straight onto your back. That was intense." I forgot about that until he reminded me. "Oh, yeah. That hurt. But it got you out of the tree since you had to come help me. Yeah, I'm glad this one took place in my comfy room." We both agreed on that and didn't say anything for several moments, the gummy bears losing their entertainment.
"There isn't as many things to do as I first thought. I hope we get to have a lot more fun and excitement this summer." I said with boredom creeping on me. Anthony sighed deeply. "Well I have a car but I only know some of the roads outside the neighborhood. So if you and me took a road trip, we would get lost, run out of gas, and possibly starve to death on an abandoned road." Picturing that was scary but Anthony was smirking at me. "Which means, Ian, we have to have lots of fun this summer right here in the hood." He threw a West Side with his right hand and posed like a thug. "…You're saying we should be gangsters this summer?" He shrugged as he bit off the head of a red bear. "Maybe. But we should find something fun to do. Like a project or something. Something we can work on every day and have fun with. I don't have much money for gas and I'm the only one with a car so we need to something at home. What could we do all summer?" My mind drew a complete blank after a few seconds. "…I have no idea. But I just got 50 First Dates! Have you seen it yet?" I got even more excited when he shook his head.
"No, but any movie with Adam Sandler is awesome." I agreed and we decided to instantly watch the movie. I didn't have a TV in my room and the one in the living room was currently broken no thanks to my sister who accidently spilled soda over it. Neither me nor my mom had forgiven her for that. So we had to watch it in my room on my portable DVD player, the damn small screen making us sit close together on my bed with the player on the edge of our laps. Anthony was squished by me on my right, not looking uncomfortable in the least by our situation. In that moment I realized we could have gone back to his house and watched the movie in his living room. He had a 40 inch TV, but the movie was already starting and I guess my epiphany didn't occur to him. We were instantly laughing as Adam's boat got all messed up in the beginning and had to go to some diner to wait for the coastguard. His name was Henry in the movie, and there he met Drew Barrymore, or Lucy. Henry got all flirty and watched as Lucy made her waffles into a little sticky house. We laughed again when she smelled his hands and said they smelled like fish, the DVD player rocking from our bodies shaking with laughter. He flirted in a creepy way but she seemed to like it. He went back the next day to see her but then shit got serious.
He was told that she got into a bad car accident on October 31st the year before and she got really bad amnesia. She woke up every day thinking it was still the 31st so she couldn't remember meeting Henry. And it sucked to find out that the 31st was her dad's birthday and her brother and father pretended like it was still that day because whenever they confessed she got in the car accident, she would cry and lose it. With no memory of the crash, Lucy lived every day stuck in time without knowing it. Some comedy that was. I thought it would be hard to laugh again but before I knew it I ran out of breath when Henry thought up ways for Lucy to fall in love with him. His penguin Willy nearly got run over by Lucy in her jeep and his buddy Ula pretended to beat him up only to have Lucy chase after him with a baseball bat, whacking the crap outta him. But the laughter died again when she found out about her car accident when her dad and brother explained it to her. So she went to this brain institute and learned about what happened and Henry makes a tape for her to watch every day explaining the crash and their relationship. She got all emotional and after a shit-ton of dreams about her boyfriend she never met, Lucy destroyed everything that has to do with him. But Henry wouldn't give up after his own emotional breakdown and sometime later Lucy woke up one morning and sees a tape that said: "Good Morning Lucy". She found out what happened in the car crash, how it was not October 31st of last year, and how she was married to Henry and had a daughter Nicole. Freaked out, she went outside and she was on a sailboat in the winter and saw a little girl with her husband. Henry and Lucy kissed and the movie ended with a big mushy feeling.
I turned off the movie and moved the DVD player off my lap and onto the floor with a big sigh. "That was more romance than comedy. Is love as great as it looks in the movies? You've had girlfriends in the past. Is romance all it's cracked up to be?" I asked Anthony, literally not knowing since I never had a girlfriend before. He looked surprised next to me, taking a few moments to think about it. "Well…it depends on the person. Sometimes you can fall for someone quickly but when you actually get a shot with them, they aren't all that great. You barely knew them and it turns out you can't wait to get away. The first two of my girlfriends were like that. In the movies you see people rushing into love then they're together forever. But it never worked that way for me. The faster you like a stranger the faster you find all their faults. If you don't take time to know them, you don't get time to accept them for all they are. I have yet to find a real girlfriend. I just can't know girls for long because they fall in love with my face instead of personality. Love might be great, but you have to find the right person. So I don't really know, Ian. When you think you've found the right person then you can decide for yourself." Anthony gave a small smile, causing love to seem so complicated. Maybe a girlfriend would be a nightmare for me.
The end of the movie flashed in my head then vanished. "And what about kissing? What makes that so great?" That simple question made him blush and he felt awkward about it. "Um…that also depends on the person. It won't be great unless you are dying to be close to them, then it's…um…great. Like when you fall in love with someone, just being with them is fine, but actually touching them and holding them is what really makes love spark. Then I guess kissing is like the next step. You got really close and now you're ready to give everything you are to that person…because you trust them. And even if you've never kissed anyone before, if you find that one person right off the bat, then you won't have to wonder if your first kiss was as great as society makes it sound." His awkwardness vanished as he looked straight into my eyes, and I believed everything he was telling me. He had dated five girls in his life so far; maybe he learned all that knowledge on his own. He took a small pause in the tender and soft moment, our rough guy friendship totally MIA at that point. "…It can be the greatest thing in the world." I used those words and tried to imagine what it would be like in my head. But imagining up some random girl I didn't actually know didn't work all that well. "I see. And I have to wait until I get a girlfriend to experience that." I looked down for one split second before I heard him say in a rush: "Not necessarily." Before my chin was tilted up and Anthony was suddenly a lot closer.
My eyes were wide when I saw his face right in front of me, and even crazier, his mouth pressed against mine. Holy…shit! Is he serious?? Right now? Once I realized that my best friend had decided to give me my first kiss, my heart sped up and I blushed an insane amount, my hands trembled and shock was growing. Only a few seconds had passed by but it felt like an eternity, and instead of pulling away disgusted, I closed my eyes and still felt the kiss as everything was dark around me. A sudden flash of red flared out, shimmering white sparks blasting outwards, then a flash of blue then green. Yellow lit up the darkness in sparks then faded to orange. I knew what those were. They were fireworks you only see on the Fourth of July. But they were right there in the darkness of my vision. Going off as I had no control over them. I guess he was right. Kissing could have been as great as it sounded. One more amazing blue firework flashed out then vanished when the pressure on my lips slipped away. How much time had gone by? Did it matter? My eyes were heavy as they opened, and my room was rocking back and forth a little before they focused and found Anthony smiling at me about half a foot away. "D-did you just…kiss me?" I was dazed and confused but he seemed to have his head on straight.
"I-I think so. I think I just got all caught up in the moment. I didn't want you to have to wait for who knows how long. But I wasn't wondering if your first kiss would only be good with a girl." He grinned and tried not to laugh. "I-I gave you your first kiss and I'm not a girl. So how are you supposed to know if it was any good or not?" Anthony fell back on the covers and laughed, not freaking out like a normal straight guy should when they got kissed by another guy. But he did the kissing. What the hell did all this mean? I'm not an idiot. I know what romance is supposed to feel like. You're supposed to feel a rush. Feel like you're melting. Like you're in paradise when lost in the darkness of your eyes. Your heart is supposed to speed up and your body is supposed to tremble with excitement. First kisses could be horrible or amazing. Damn…Anthony. I don't think it was the kiss that caused it. Anthony gave it. So…I felt like that from…him? Anthony was still laughing to himself by the time I snapped back into reality, finding myself all mixed up in confusion and other shit I didn't understand. "I saw fireworks." My voice was low but he caught that, sitting up looking surprised. "Fireworks? Does that mean you liked it?" I was pretty sure I already had the answer but I thought it over again. Is Anthony just that good of a romantic? "…It-it was everything…a kiss should feel like. From what I've heard over the years." Now I was the one acting awkward. That kept the grin on his happy face. "Well fuck, that's awesome. Maybe having those brief relationships with girls was a good thing. So there you go. First kiss down. And you didn't even need a girlfriend." Anthony smirked at me. "They're kind of bitches anyways. You're not missing out." He laughed again, so bubbly while I could hardly get a grip on myself. Anthony had suddenly changed. All school year he was normal and as soon as summer came, he became closer to me. Maybe it was because it was just me and him. At school he was surrounded by other people. Guy friends, girl friends, emos, jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, geeks, freaks, tweaks, and everything in-between. He wasn't super popular, but people liked him for his honesty, humor, and chill attitude. He was there for a friend when they were upset. He was the motivator for the unmotivated. His smile always caused his friends to do the same. He had a big group of friends at school who he hung out with during lunch.
He tried to get me involved in the group but I never really fit in. When I was just with Anthony I was spontaneous, loud, and carefree. But the few times I tried to hang out with all of them, I was the weird one. I was shy and quiet while everyone else demanded Anthony's attention. He didn't like how I spent the lunch break doing my own thing, usually hanging out in the library doing nothing. I was at least comforted knowing he kept me as his only best friend and after hanging out with his other pals, he would only come spend time with me after school and on weekends. Whenever I felt like an outcast at school, Anthony's constant dedication to me let me know I really wasn't one. The sucky part was that it wasn't Anthony who decided to abandon me during the forty-five minute break. It was the other, lesser friends who wouldn't allow him to hang with me. Literally. That pissed him off and on several occasions Anthony straight up told them no, leaving them to spend time with me.
But even though Anthony never admitted it, I knew why he hung out with them way more than me during lunch. He didn't want to lose that popularity because if he did, he would feel all alone and would take it way too fucking personally. They made him feel liked and appreciated, and those twenty or so other people he stayed with motived him to please and entertain them. I lost count how many times he got in trouble trying to make those douchebags laugh. Anthony couldn't lose them. His self-confidence was attached to his "friends" and if he lost them, he would lose respect for himself. Blame it on his actions. He told everyone that he wouldn't let problems get to him; he would shrug it off and do his own thing. Everyone was blind to the truth. From what I had seen, none of them took the time to delve deeper into his actual personality. That's what made them douchebags. Sure he came off as a happy and carefree dude when spending time with me, but he was more sensitive than he cared to confess. He would bitch about shit in his life but did it in a "manly" way. Not really incorporating his feelings. So knowing that, I simply let him go during lunchtime even though I was lonely and bored for nearly an hour each weekday.
So now that school was over, he probably felt guilty for leaving me all alone and as my best friend, he had the heart to make it up to me. The day before Anthony said he wanted to spend all summer with me and he meant it. He hadn't had a girlfriend in nearly a year, and it was because he didn't want one. He couldn't find a girl good enough for him. High School turned girls into bitches and whores begging for popularity and attention. And after his fifth girlfriend he got fed up with, he just stopped trying to find love. So after that long while without romance, there was a good chance that was why Anthony kissed me. It was a total fact that teenagers wanted love and their hormones were the cause of it. Maybe it had been too long for Anthony. Maybe those hormones caused him to get caught up in the moment like he said. If that was the case, no romantic feelings would form inside him. We would never do something so crazy again and never talk about it. Guys did that. Moment of weakness over. My first kiss happened. Time to move on. "Ian. Ian!" Everything came back into focus when Anthony snapped his fingers in my face. How long was I lost in thought?
"W-what?" Anthony appeared as confused as I was. "What do you think?" What was he was talking to me about? I stared at him and I just heard background noise when I was thinking all that time. I can't let him know I wasn't listening to him. "…Yes." My clueless answer caused his eyebrows to raise and get a total look of surprise to come over him. Anthony scoffed in disbelief and a shocked grin on his face. "D-damn. I think we both need to think this through a little more. Take the rest of the day to do it and come to my house at one o'clock tomorrow. Fuck I didn't expect that answer from you." Anthony was shocked but sort of happy as he got off my bed and headed to my door, looking back at me to scoff in disbelief again before leaving to go home. When I heard the front door to my house shut, I sat there in complete confusion. "What the fuck did he say to me?" As hard as I tried to make out anything he said, all I heard was mumbling and my thoughts. I gave him an answer to something that shocked him. What the fuck was it? Anthony told me to think about something I had no clue about. So I couldn't think about it, which meant that I had to give him another answer to the same question. If I told him that I wasn't listening to something that important Anthony would get pissed at me. Maybe I should say no…see what happens. God dammit.
Instead of thinking about whatever the fuck he told me, I spent the rest of the day being lazy playing video games, watching TV, eating junk food, surfing the web, listening to music, then fell asleep totally bored until my mom came home at night when she told me dinner was ready. The six-hour nap I took stopped me from getting tired that night and plus I was restless as I tried to sleep. I tossed and turned in the dark, adjusted my pillow and fussed with the covers. My brain wouldn't stop thinking and worrying. What if Anthony was talking about something not that important? Even if he was…I still have this terrible feeling. For some reason I can't get it out of my mind. What if it's not that bad? Why am I dreading something I have no clue about? I turned on my side with the covers up to my chin, annoyed and scared. "Why was Anthony so happy?" It was 1AM by the time tiredness covered my worry. It shut up my thoughts and let me sleep. I had no choice. I had to face Anthony later that day; if I avoided him it would only complicate whatever situation we were in. Something weird was going on, and I didn't like it.
A loud tune played out suddenly near me. It was my lame ringtone when I got a call. While it demanded my attention I groaned first and buried my face in my pillow. Reaching my right hand out to my nightstand, I felt for my cell phone but it slipped off the wooden stand and onto the carpet when I attempted to grab it. "Fuuucckk…" Forcing my eyes open I saw that it was morning but didn't know the time. My body was stiff as I sat up and retrieved my phone off the floor, flipping it open in annoyance. "What?" My tone was harsh and I sort of regretted it when I heard my mom's voice. "No need to get angry, Ian. I just wanted to remind you to take your pills. It's one o'clock, the time you need to take them. Remember?" I forgot. "O-oh yeah. Alright. I'll take them now." I lied, feeling the need to go back to sleep. That was all she wanted to tell me and the phone call didn't even last one minute. Checking my phone for any text messages and seeing none, my eyes drifted over to the clock on the screen. It was 1:10PM. Don't I have to do something…? Dead tired and feeling like a zombie I put it in the back of my mind, taking one pill of my ADHD medication into the bathroom. I just dropped the small white pill down the drain in the sink and ran the water for a few seconds. Yay.
It was hard to wake up until freezing cold water hit my body in the shower; my dumb ass forgot to wait until the water was warm to get in naked. "Holy shit!" I shrieked, desperately grabbing for the faucet. "My head isn't on straight." The cold water quickly turned warm and like always, I spent the twenty or so minutes thinking while getting clean. So I went to bed last night…um. What happened yesterday? I-I can't even think right now. What time did I go to bed…? Suddenly I remembered why 1PM was so important that day. Anthony told me to go to his house at that hour. "Oh my god!" I gasped, snapping my eyes open only to have them burn as the soap around my eyes sank into my eyeballs. "Shit!" Normally I wasn't a spaz in the shower but everything that happened the day before came flooding into my sleepy brain. Anthony and I hung out and he kissed me, telling me something I wasn't paying attention to, then I said yes to whatever it was. He got surprised and I was supposed to go to his house and act like I knew what was going on. "Oww…today sucks already." Warm water washed out my burning eyes and even though I didn't want to go see Anthony, I finished showering quickly, in a hurry when I didn't want to be.
My brown hair was dripping with water as I struggled to get boxers and my grey cargo shorts on my half-dried body. "I don't know about this…" The light blue Vans shirt I chose stuck to my damp torso as did the socks I put on. "Stupid clothes." My converse shoes were messily tied over my feet and my slow-drying hair was brushed quickly before I headed out the door with my cell phone shoved in my right pocket. If Anthony needed me so much he could have called but he didn't, so it was stupid of me to be in a rush. It was the damn shock of the day before that kept me nervous. Having a driver's license but no car, my bike was my only mode of transportation. Because we both lived in the same small neighborhood, it was a three-minute ride to his house and when I got there, leaving the bike by the tree in his yard, nervous instead of happy to see him. His mom was at work so it was just him in the house. I went straight into his house, only feeling the need to knock on his closed bedroom door. But I hesitated to knock. Twice. I'm just over thinking this. Nothing is going to change between us. I forced my knuckles on his door and I heard Anthony tell me to come in. I was about to find out what he asked me; I just hoped it had nothing to do with our kiss. What if it does…?